Amphibian220

What does SOB stand for?

What do you mean? Do you dress like a teenager? What actions do you perform that you think make you look strange?

I want you to carry on with this mentality Jordan. Its ok that the success will not come in a week, month, maybe 8 or 10 months of grinding work, loving your interests, being open to people, perfecting your skills, you will become a great person. Im feeling very strange, I sort of know what to do every day, but.. What does it mean to love yourself? Looking after your hygiene, physical fitness etc. yet Glover says this in his book: ”The irony is that no one really values Cal for his attachments. Further, his dependency for external validation actually prevents people from getting to know him just as he is. None of the things have to do anything with who he is as a person. Nevertheless, they are the things he believes give him identity and value” So what should I love myself for if not for the things I do? Love my culture? Or does he mean loving certain things about myself irrespective of what others think?

Cenopatia Did you ask yourself why you choose to play rather than do something else? This question holds the key to recovery. I responded to this question when I was 16 years old in the following way: “because gaming is just like any other task, be it sport, socializing, cleaning the household etc” The following couple of years illustrated to me my mistaken belief. Success is “hard coded”. What this means is that you will hit a certain barrier as a gamer after which no amount of mental reframing will make you feel that you’re okay spending days playing. If the president of the country and his ministers would have told you that you’re okay as a gamer, you still wouldn’t be able to reframe it. Same goes for alcoholism and gambling. This realization made me cautious and I haven’t reverted.

Mind to say how old you are and how long you played games for before coming on here and challenging yourself?

3 miles is a good workout! I feel the pressure on me to perform now.

BooksandTrees You know what man. I also craved women, but how do you keep a clear head with them? If you dont control her, she starts causing trouble for you. My first boxing coach (former participant in the Olympics for USSR) treated me like a younger brother, and this kind of mentorship gave me a lot of security. Then came my teacher who loved me like a brother. There was so much security in these relationships and so much growth mentally and physically, but with women it is tricky. I need to find brothers to solve my issues.

I wasn’t questioning your communicative skills at all as its obvious from your post you feel you are well developed in that respect. By becoming ‘fit’ I meant recovering fully from the addiction as you said particular women can be a ‘trigger’ causing you to relapse.

@BooksandTrees Do you think you will eliminate triggers if you reduce communication with women ? Try it out for a week. If you start getting a clear head, good focus and a very good up-beat mood, then you may just continue. You will find the woman of your life, but you have to be fit for that moment.

Shine Magical, have you moved to live in a rural area? Judging by the fact that the nearest grocery store is far away. It is something I am considering. When I see the countryside I get a lot healthier.

@Ikar Intentions really do define whether you get sexual stress or develop social skills with women. If you are meeting to possibly become husband and wife, it does not stress you out looking her in the eyes and talking to her. You may just take a look at her body too and if she is dressed okay (nothing revealing) you are still okay because you know there are prospects for something greater to come along. But if you are just admiring women here and there, sexual stress is the only thing you are going to carry away (nothing in the way of social skills)

Welcome to game Quitters. May this entry become a turning point in your life. I love South Africa, you have given this world some extraordinary men of achievement.

BooksandTrees This is what worried me from your posts. When a man sees women in revealing clothing, he experiences a good feeling followed by sexual stress. The stress comes because by nature a man needs coitus every time he experiences arousal, but he doesn’t get it. Then unsatisfied desire gets pushed into your subconscious. A man can receive dozens of signals like this in one day. A constant life like this can then cause problems for your health. I taught myself to lower my gaze on street etc and just avoid gyms that have women in them. The gym I go to is a martial arts men only gym. I obey this command because I know I will save my health many years down the line.

Jordan, You have my recognition and everybody else’s here who supports you. You have your family and people that depend on you, even your dog. Focus on things within your control. When I read about what a great day you had, I was so pumped I followed through on all of my tasks on that day. keep moving even if it is just a crawl. I am going to have my boxing session now and just pummel that punching bag.

Yoda way? Who was yoda? I got so angry at my gaming addiction, I picked up the big monitor (they were not flat screens like you guys have now, they were proper big boxes back in early 2000), carried it to a local yard and then looked for a stone. Next that stone blew out the screen of the monitor.

Wish you luck John. Something I did during my academic stage when preparing for exams : 1) memorizing material while walking in the room. This gives you added blood circulation 2) not missing snack breaks. They are important not only for energy, but a break for your brain to process all memorized material 3) doing light exercise (like 10 quick pushups)

Natalie, What is it about ?

Hey Jordan Discovering your life purpose is a constant work in progress. If I was you I would set intermediate goals. When I was 16 years old, I came second in a long distance run competition in my class and felt proud of it. My family was surprised at this. I also opted for some volunteering opportunities.

Netzwerker, What are your new activities? Have you made new connections, found some sport or activity that gives you a sense of development and stimulates you mentally? Just keeping away from games and feeling good about it isn’t going to work. I agree that small success can be an impostor which makes you feel complacent. Take on more responsibility and get people to depend on you. That way there will always be something pushing you forward.

Oh ok. Going off meat completely will seriously drain you of energy. The healthiest diet is a varied one from my experience- so one day its fish, the other meat, then veggie etc. If you keep trying new things, its the healthiest thing for your organism. The bad thing is when you eat exact same things each day. The organism grows tired from lack of variety.

Jay Do you want to change the format of the date? like tell her to take a friend and you will take somebody you trust with you. What if this support will smooth things out and will melt your doubts and self-criticism?

BooksandTrees Go look for a competitive sport where your competitors are roughly your level. That way it will be challenging. Just show strong enthusiasm to play with them and they will accept you. Man dont fall for this crap nostalgia! I’m telling you : it’s the addiction grasping and looking for its last chances to sway you! It knows the game is over. You have to leave because you cannot be friends with something that wants to harm you. All the sadness will pass Also, stay away from addictive substitutes, like alcohol, internet surfing, all sorts of meet-ups where people can influence you in a bad way. Healthy Sport is your safe haven Ignore the dreams and post here. We are with you.

What you are describing are good symptoms of mental estrangement from bad habits and migration to a new place. You are experiencing a new emotion and the first instinct is fear. Dont fear it. Since we were so connected to a wasteful way of life, there is going to be a phase when your organism is trying to resist, then understands the mistake but still misses the bad thing, then you notice the hollowness that was there all along and finally you start developing strength . I detected this in a number of other journals- its a necessary stage of recovery. Hopefully, after some time, you will get energized and the tediousness will go away. Also I think women you are meeting are not so generic, but they are not opening up. I read something about love for self and others that motivated me - its not an instinct but something you have to work. If you keep trying and putting efforts, then love becomes truly great and conquers the heart.

A-ha! The techniques and experience from your errors are proving themselves to be useful. Something that changed in my behaviour- i give myself time to do things rather than rush them. Being hasty all the time causes me to be nervous. It looks from your posts you are more focused on the process of your activities. How about a challenge? I watched a boxer’s stats and in one of his career defining moments, he threw 70 punches in one round (three minutes). That’s crazy intensity. I will try to throw fifty good punches in combination with moving and ducking. Edit: Punching technique. When I was boxing as a kid, I hurt my elbow joints by throwing punches where my arm extended out fully. To prevent injury to elbow jointa I twist my arms as i punch I hope you get what I mean

BooksandTrees If you mean by political decisions that we look for more or less similar cultural values and nationality, then that is widespread. Income levels can vary, but some families give a lot of weight to that. I believe that cross-cultural marriages have the highest risk of breaking up because after the initial passion, partners have to come to grips with differences of values and how they want to raise the children. This is also true when one of the partners is religious whereas the other is suspicious of and averse to religion. It goes ok when there is no antagonism and the “secular” partner shifts towards respecting the right of worship.