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NEW VIDEO: Psychologist's WARNING About VIDEO GAMES

MaxHofbauer

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  1. Hey KMD! Glad to hear about your progress. You seem to be really into it, keep that up! Have a good day, Sir! Max
  2. Hey KMD! Thanks for the tips. Journaling is definitely one of the habits I would like to develop. I know the positive influence of it, but I still struggle when it comes to consistency. Fortunately, I already found some good replacement activities for gaming. Have a good one! Max
  3. As Remigjus said: 90 days isn't a magical number... Science says it takes about 30 days to form a habit, but generally, it takes longer to unlearn a certain behavior - especially when it is designed to be addictive and one is used to do it on a regular basis for several years. I'd say 90 days are a good first hallmark for breaking through the major cravings, urges, and relapses. Your hormones and body also have to readjust to a life without gaming, but I don't how long that takes. Cheers, Max
  4. Well, there are a few things to consider... First things first would be your age and years of experience... Especially when you are young or a recent grad there are hardly any fields of work which are gonna pay much. Depending on the country you are living in your paycheck will rise tied to the number of years you spent working; additionally, you're getting further boosts when getting promotions. Regarding boredom and repetition: Almost every job has some form of repetition tied to it, otherwise it wouldn't be a steady position. Boredom is highly subjective to each individual, but I'd advice you to climb the education ladder as high as possible. More degrees/certificates may convince an employer to entrust you with more challenging tasks and it'll give you an edge when changing fields. Also: you are more likely to end up in a specialized niche position or getting into management. When it comes to job satisfaction one should also consider working hours: night shifts, working on weekends and on official holidays is quite normal in gastronomy, whereas it is unusual at a regular 9 to 5 office job. No matter which job you choose, try to increase your skill as much as possible and try to work on your way with people. Be patient, educate yourself and care about your physical/mental health. If you don't do these things you'll have a really hard job finding a fulfilling position which pays decent money. Cheers, Max
  5. Thanks KMD, I really hope so too... For now, I would like to accomplish my academic goals without gaming getting in the way. I haven't created a daily journal on here yet, but I guess I will do so soon. I would love to use it to pass on a few tips and tricks I've already learnt. Anyway, I appreciate the kind words. Cheers, Max
  6. Hey John! Thanks for being trusting and truthful towards us. I, as well as the rest of this forum sure is glad to be of help. Fighting your way out of addiction is not an easy feat, but it is changing lives forever and usually for the better. If you have any specific questions go ahead and ask away. and: Welcome! We hope you have fun working and chatting with us. Cheers, Max
  7. To be honest... For me this used to be the case at some point in my life, but not anymore... This has to do with the countless hobbies I pursue like archery, martial arts, calisthenics, making music, writing stories, personal development, reading and writing, etc. as well as with a shift in mindset when it comes to gratitude and excitement. I try to incorporate adventure into everyday life by discovering new places in my area, trying new potential hobbies, consuming "good" content (exciting books, intriguing films) and training my body/mind. I also keep an eye out on trying to be grateful for ordinary pleasures like sleeping in a made bed, eating self-prepared food, being able to shower, use electricity, etc. Most days are exciting and stimulating for me... having an ordinary day is kind of the exception for me... @SuperSaiyanGod Did you simply ask because you wanted to know if someone feels the same way or would like to get some advice on how to change the situation? I would love to help, but I'd need some proper questions to work with... Cheers, Max
  8. Jordan Peterson is a fantastic speaker and his argumentations are formidable. I really can recommend watching his talks, reading his latest book (12 rules for life) and the analysis of his rhetoric capabilities by Charisma on Command: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS9W-wlJHPA&pbjreload=10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS5nmy1v34c&pbjreload=10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsQLksbfDSo&pbjreload=10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2W-5J1vl8o&pbjreload=10
  9. Hey! I think that parents do not have full responsibility when it comes to their kids being addicted, but they always are partly responsible for the behaviour of the child. In my case specifically, they underestimated at first in how I was drawn to games and they had a hard time reaching out to me in my teens when I spent most of my days hiding away in my room. (To be fair, I wasn't easy to reach out to - however, most teens aren't) The thing is: the values they taught me ended up in my detox programs. Good an honest work, valuing relationships and decent education are just some of them. Parenting is a pretty hard job and every parent does make some mistakes. Question is: Did they do it intentionally? Are they trying to make up for them? Are they reaching out? etc. I think dealing in absolutes is a harsh treatment and a child being addicted to substances or services which are designed to be addictive shouldn't lead to the assumption that the parents "suck at parenting", but these are just my two cents. Cheers, Max
  10. @blaisem Hey there! From my point of view having cravings is totally normal... and they suck... and they are quite critical when it comes to your success in quitting games. The issue is most people do not know how to deal with these. I sure as hell didn't for a long time during my recovery process. There is a technique I use which turned out to work quite well for me. It may sound a little counterintuitive and strange at first, but I'll explain: When experiencing cravings, don't try to "shake it off" and focus on something else immediately - instead, try to really "feel" your urges and desires. Try to locate in your body where these feelings originate from and try to increase the intensity of your cravings without moving. Hold on to this feeling of intense craving for a moment. Start to breathe slowly and consciously and then try to deflate the craving. The reason why this works for me is the following: When I first started out experiencing cravings I thought I have to satisfy them in order to make them go away or to "shake them off" ASAP because they are "evil". But the result is similar to an object of fear or discomfort you don't dare to face: It continues to be scary or uncomfortable. Submerging yourself in cravings is like diving into cold water for me - horrible at first, but when you do it your body and mind start to be able to handle it. You subconsciously gain the ability to handle your cravings when you dare to work with them and do that on a regular basis. I hope I managed to explain my technique and my assumption as to why it works properly. I'd love to get some feedback on it, so please let me know if you're interested in trying and how it worked out for you. Cheers, Max
  11. Hey there! Although this discussion seems to be finished I tried to come up with some points to consider when thinking about going to a therapist/the first sessions. Some have already been mentioned by others, I just included them for the sake of creating some sort of checklist. first things first: money - this is actually a highly individual point as different people do have different amounts of it for spending on a therapist. Also, health care and insurance systems and general prices of these services are vastly different across the world. The personality of the therapist and the general style of therapy should be something you can work with: by that I mean your therapist should be less of a friend or doctor, but rather a (sort of) colleague/mentor who works with you on a certain project (fixing whatever issue you're attending therapy for) The therapist won't be able to magically cure you, this is not his/her task - he/she should be able to provide you with the tools necessary to handle and overcome depression/addiction/... yourself. Ask the therapist for techniques to incorporate into everyday life... I doubt that "just talking" every other week will lead to sustainable results (even though talking is important and a professional may give better advice than a friend/family member) Study the qualifications and biography of your therapist beforehand to see whether or not he has experience dealing with the subject (e.g. video game addiction) Monitor the progress you made during therapy to evaluate whether or not it actually pays off. If you are confident about needing a therapist: try several and assess them based on the quality and quantity of the advice they are giving. Know what you are expecting from therapy and communicate these needs during sessions. Give your therapist the "full picture" to work with (don't hold back any information out of shame, guilt, etc.) (At least) Try out your therapists' recommendations, even if they sound strange/funny. Let me know if you have further ideas to expand on this list or if you disagree with the points already mentioned. I would love to update it. Cheers, Max
  12. Hey Cam! Thanks so much for taking time and reaching out. I really appreciate this and your recommendation as well of course. The support on your website&forum is awesome! You are a total beast! Keep up with the good work and thanks again. Cheers, Max
  13. Hmm... There's a ton of things I really do enjoy - here are some of my favorites: Making new friends and enjoying and deepening already existing relationships making and listening to honest and emotional music reading a terrific book figuring out how to improve my life and that of others @johnwicky Thanks for creating this thread - I really do think focusing on the good stuff will eventually help us live better and more fulfilled lives. Just thinking about what makes me happy genuinely made me brighten up ? Cheers, Max
  14. Hello there! My name is Max, I am a 22 y/o university student from Austria. I used to study molecular biology and now I am working on a degree in innovation management. I love to write (poetry and short stories) and making music (playing bass and ukulele), as well as trying various kinds of sports. Other than that I enjoy spending time with my friends, going out dancing and reading books. I would describe myself as quite lively and interested, although that wasn't always the case... Video gaming has filled a large portion of my teens. Unfortunately, I developed addiction-like cravings and gaming started to consume my time, energy and emotional stability. Around age 17 I came to realize that gaming is holding me back from living the life I truly want to live. Since then I am fighting an ongoing battle against my addiction and started to have great results. Slowly overcoming my addiction has been like fuel for my self-confidence, my desire for personal development, my academic success and a lot of other positive developments in my life. The only thing I am struggling with right now is short and hard relapses, which often occur under periods of stress... e.g. exams, loneliness, projects, ... (basically when they are especially inconvenient). They only ever last for a few days or 1-2 weeks max, so they are more of a nuisance than an actual reason to really worry about. Still, I want to leave them behind me and figured that helping others with their struggles might support keeping my focus straight. I am here to share with you my experience battling video game addiction for 5 years and to document it for future game quitters. For now, my goal is to stay clean for the rest of the year while helping you guys out. I am looking forward to meeting you and working with you. Cheers, Max