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Silent3d

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  1. Hello dirkj3, I could be wrong, but to me it sounds like you yet have to explore a wider spectrum of possible activities, in order to find even more engaging hobbies. Ask yourself: Did you find activities that provide you with enough challenge(or purpose) yet? I'll also link one of Cams videos here, so we can recall together the 4 big reasons why we feel drawn back to games & bad habits and what to do instead:
  2. I'm thinking of doing the same. However, you could try locking away your keyboard & mouse so you cannot operate the computer. That would be a less drastic way. Once you finished detox, in theory you then can go on and use it for work only. Sadly for me this didn't work out, but it might for you.
  3. It seems you are trying to find a gaming replacement and the easiest and most comfortable way out for you is watching streams, videos or series. Try finding some activities which you have to do outside of your comfortable homey nest. You could try finding a sports club or go visit nearby attractions. Get a calendar or note book in which you plan what activities you want to do beforehand, write them down and then focus on doing them day by day. I'd also suggest you to avoid your computer completely for some time. Put away your keyboard. Put it into a locker for example and see if it helps you to start doing other things that are more healthy and fulfilling. I'm personally not only addicted to gaming, I'm also addicted to computer usage. I'm in the same boat and I'm working with my psychotherapist on this at full speed atm. YouTube takes up a good chunk of my daily time. I'd say I've become addicted to YouTube & Twitch as much as I am addicted to gaming. I can sit for hours in front of my PC and it doesn't really matter what I do, just sitting in front of it gives me a calm and good feeling, which is incredibly treacherous as it ruins our lifes in the long run as we all know. Weighing ourselves into such false comfort is one of the components which makes addiction so dangerous. Therefore one might easily think, it feels so good, how could sitting here ever have a negative effect on me? - because I feel good, so it must do me good right? I like to think in the analogy of a person eating each day, without exception, a big fat pizza with triple the amount of cheese + 3 cream cakes - because it tastes so good, but they lack the understanding that their behavior will most likely affect their health negatively in a big way. We understand that, but while we are addicted, we struggle to understand the negative impacts that are to come (or are already here) when it comes to games (and computer usage). The people who come to this forum have already seen through this deception and understand that games are affecting them in very negative ways. Congratulations, you are here too. This is a very important and groundbreaking step into a more fulfilling and addiction free life of yours.
  4. Pretty much every game I have been playing had about an equal amount of toxic people. Only one game might be an exception where most people were surprisingly kind in general. To me it does not make much of a difference, whether I play solo or regularly in a group of people. I can enjoy playing solo just as much as I enjoy playing in groups. That's how I am in real life too by the way. Loneliness bothers me sometimes, maybe once or twice a week, but most of the time I enjoy being "alone". However, I do think that the bonds I formed while playing, kept me interested for a longer time into the game. It extended the duration I stayed with that particular game. Meeting and voice chatting with the guild/team members felt similar like talking to colleagues or even friends. If I had been stayed solo throughout the entire time, I would've probably played that game less; shifting my attention to additional games. One big difference I am aware of is, that I (usually) don't know how they look in real life. I only know their created in-game character. Also, in most online games you get some kind of competitive vibe, since there is almost always a certain goal to achieve which the players within the communities strife for. When voice chatting without seeing peoples faces, we tend to laugh a little bit less I believe. This is being accounted, for the most part, to us not being able to see and read each others facial mimic and gestures. Players also tend to talk and interact less at peak situations when concentrating while performing demanding tasks in-game. In these scenarios, I like the analogy of competitive games and sports in real life, instead of comparing gaming to all aspects of real life. Another thing that comes to my mind is, the sense of "anonymity" can make people show their bad side. People being assholes and so on, who on the other hand know how to behave in real life. There are patterns that differ, but I don't think there are a whole lot of differences.
  5. I've been following the School of Life for a few years now. Their videos can really help if one manages to actually take action. Another interesting channel that explains psychological issues I can recommend is Academy of Ideas. https://www.youtube.com/user/academyofideas
  6. So I'm currently learning Japanese. I'm at the very beginner level learning the Hiragana. After that the Katakana follows and then Kanji. I just received my study books I ordered for over 70 bucks last week. However, in order to progress and start with these study books, I need to learn the Hiragana and Katakane first(japanese syllables). When I manage to start with learning, I usually do it for about an hour. However, there are often days where I just can't motivate myself doing anything regarding my learning goals. It's kind of stupid to invest money into a project and then do nothing, I know. Does anyone know a strategy to overcome this? For example, how do I learn even when I'm not feeling to do so? When I force myself it's hard to remember stuff afterwards. I try to follow my weekly plan, but sometimes that would force me to learn on a day on which I don't feel like learning. Without that weekly plan on the other side, I would do pretty much nothing productive at all. You see, I need that weekly activity plan I'm having on my wall to get my structure and routine, but contrary if I force myself to learn at a certain time or certain day is not working so well for me either. I'm in almost all life areas a very lazy person. I'm trying to change my life for the better, but it's so hard to stay with things longer than a few weeks.
  7. I'm introverted. I rarely go out, usually only if I cannot avoid it. I have a few friends which I see about once every two weeks and that's ok for me. Seeing them to often drains my energy and I need alone time to regain this energy. However, when I'm home alone I sometimes feel this awkward loneliness. I often connect to twitch then, watching live streams and chat with hundreds of other people in these public chats. This helps me a lot overcoming the feeling of loneliness. Often it is enough to look at my friendlist and see my internet and real life friends online. I find it strange that just being connected with some client & having a friendlist or joining a stream can help me to overcome this feeling of loneliness. If I wouldn't have these options I believe I would suffer way more than I do with the tools I'm having at hand currently.
  8. I've been watching a lot of anime the last 5 years. Lately I've been watching more and more slice of life shows since they lean heavily on real life & more realistic scenarios. I believe watching the slice of life genre can help me building me my new life with less addiction and may even act as a model I can then relate to. For example if the characters that are being shown from time to time in their work place, makes trying out jobs in real life less scary to me. I can heavily recommend Hataraku Mao-Sama!, "Working" series, "Golden Boy", "NHK ni Youkosou" or "ReLife" in that regard. The latter is more about school life though. It's also somehow really relaxing to me watching this genre.
  9. During my entire life, whenever I had to get out of the house to get to school or work I've been struggling. I would often come late to class, sometimes a few minutes but sometimes one hour, even two or three. Years later after I finished school I started an apprenticeship where I had to start at 6:45 am every morning. It was hard but I somehow managed at first, but after almost a year it overwhelmed me and I quit. Since then, at every job, every apprenticeship I started I would be able to keep things up for a few weeks until I was burned out and would start to stumble again, not getting out of bed, coming late to trade school, job trainings etc. Until eventually I got fired at my first real job since I finished my apprenticeship in 2017. I very well know the consequences, but I have this immense lack of motivation and purpose in my life that keeps me from being a functioning human being in the work force I think. I like being at home and it costs me each day a real conquest to get out of bed and to leave the house. I even thought about working from home or becoming independent so I can spare myself from the horrors of the outside world. My therapist said I have a social phobia. Also I'm an introvert and usually don't go out often. My mind is always circulating about the things on my PC and in my room if I'm not busy. I know this is immensely bad for me since I could start gaming or surfing, watching YouTube, Twitch etc all day and when I'm not at my job training it is likely that these things happen. Currently I'm trying to follow a weekly plan as strictly as possible it's for me. It also includes going out more often such as visiting the library or a chess club(but I often find myself avoiding the ones that include social activities with other people). Any ideas what else I could do?
  10. You could choose one or two days of each week were you keep room for activities with friends. I made a repeating weekly plan that is pinned at my wall & each Saturday between 3pm to 10pm I reserve this time of the day for my "Free time with friends" - and if I am not meeting them this weekend then I do alternative stuff. 3pm to 10pm "meeting with friends" The following ones I only do if I won't be meeting them on a weekend. They're in the same column of "meeting friends": (3pm library) (5pm chess theory) (6pm work-out) (9pm study) Self improvement is good and important, but be careful not to burn-out at some point and give yourself a bit of leisure time during each week.
  11. I believe it would'nt hurt in your case if you'd see a therapist - it seems you got an addiction or act compulsive. Maybe both. I guess it could also be something like shopaholism? Note that it's possible to have multiple addictions at the same time. I have not enough psychological knowledge and are not in anyway associated with psycholigic therapeutical treatment. From my amateur point of view I'd guess that this/these might be a first hint. It honestly sounds to me, that you could need professional help with the issues you mentioned. When I was still addicted, I was acting similar. I would buy games, especially on sales, but I would'nt even play around 50% of the games bought ever. But I kept doing it, year after year. I bought all these games, just so I had them in my library and it felt weirdly good that way. Once a beloved game was shut down or I lost interest over time, I also wanted to have the same lovey dovey feeling for another game. Yeah, it's like a desperate search for that same "adventurous trip" we are so used to. We are in that regard, very much like a drug addict. In order to keep ourselves satisfied, we crave for that same kind of experience. I guess our good old friend dopamin is to blame here once again.
  12. Yes I know that feeling. I guess that's also why so many fall into escapism and play games and flee into the virtual world / internet. I for my part am currently trying to find a passion, which is not easy to find for me. I heard it takes a lot of trying out stuff so one can find his/her passion. Some people take months, some years just to find it. Something you really burn for and if it's part of your job, you'd gladly do it and even work overtime like it's nothing. Without interests / hobbies the world is just dull to me. I don't know how much stuff you've tried out already that is out there in the world - but my big project right now is to go out and try new things. First I do my research on the internet or brainstorm, then I search via search engines like Google for example, where these things are in my local area. For example, I want to try out shogi(Japanese chess) and found out, that there's a group in my city, meeting once a week. Did the same with volleyball, so I can try these things and if I like them and they're fun I will keep doing them. Maybe then one day a passion develops for one of these.
  13. Hey, I'm currently struggling with finding the right decision. I'm trying out new jobs and want to leave my office career behind. Finished my education last year but I found it to be boring as hell. Problem I see is, if I'd find that desired job, but what if it pays like much lower than I'd get in the office? A job coach of mine said that I'd probably get like 5-7€ less if I'd get a job in the gastronomy. That really hurts, but if it feels not as staggering as it felt in the office, I'm thinking that I might pay the price... Maybe. I know that I'd probably would have barely enough money to pay the rent and get food and maybe I can get few little extras per month. Cannot expect much of course. What if it'd just feel more comfortable in such a job? But then again I come to think, having less money sucks, knowing you could've more... More money makes life easier, but the job providing me with more money, makes it harder for me on the other hand. Talking about bitter irony. I'm running in circles on this one. From my past jobs I know, there is nothing that drives me out of a job more than boredom and repetitions. Also I found out, that I feel really bad, sitting in front of a screen doing unfullfilling work all day long. Just doing regular office stuff and counting the hours, hoping it's weekend soon. Has anyone similiar experiences?
  14. Hey, I've decided to visit a volleyball club in the coming two weeks. I don't think that card games are too similar. Also one interacts with real people and does'nt hide behind a screen like it's with video games. Sure I could get obsessed with that card game also, but it would be an activity where I'm forced to go out and interact with people in reality.
  15. Just a little update: I got another trial work tomorrow at a coffee store. They also sell other merchandise like kitchen stuff and clothes. It's not a big store, but I'm a bit concerned about lifting heavy boxes again. I'd be ok with that if it's like an hour a day stowing away stuff. I wanted to go there in the first place because I can imagine to be ok with standing there at the bar and serve coffee to the customers, cleaning the tables from time to time etc. The trial is starting in about 10 hours. I wonder how it'll be.
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