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NEW PODCAST: Instant Gratification is the cause of so many problems in your life...


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About Silent3d

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  1. I believe it would'nt hurt in your case if you'd see a therapist - it seems you got an addiction or act compulsive. Maybe both. I guess it could also be something like shopaholism? Note that it's possible to have multiple addictions at the same time. I have not enough psychological knowledge and are not in anyway associated with psycholigic therapeutical treatment. From my amateur point of view I'd guess that this/these might be a first hint. It honestly sounds to me, that you could need professional help with the issues you mentioned. When I was still addicted, I was acting similar. I would buy games, especially on sales, but I would'nt even play around 50% of the games bought ever. But I kept doing it, year after year. I bought all these games, just so I had them in my library and it felt weirdly good that way. Once a beloved game was shut down or I lost interest over time, I also wanted to have the same lovey dovey feeling for another game. Yeah, it's like a desperate search for that same "adventurous trip" we are so used to. We are in that regard, very much like a drug addict. In order to keep ourselves satisfied, we crave for that same kind of experience. I guess our good old friend dopamin is to blame here once again.
  2. Yes I know that feeling. I guess that's also why so many fall into escapism and play games and flee into the virtual world / internet. I for my part am currently trying to find a passion, which is not easy to find for me. I heard it takes a lot of trying out stuff so one can find his/her passion. Some people take months, some years just to find it. Something you really burn for and if it's part of your job, you'd gladly do it and even work overtime like it's nothing. Without interests / hobbies the world is just dull to me. I don't know how much stuff you've tried out already that is out there in the world - but my big project right now is to go out and try new things. First I do my research on the internet or brainstorm, then I search via search engines like Google for example, where these things are in my local area. For example, I want to try out shogi(Japanese chess) and found out, that there's a group in my city, meeting once a week. Did the same with volleyball, so I can try these things and if I like them and they're fun I will keep doing them. Maybe then one day a passion develops for one of these.
  3. Hey, I'm currently struggling with finding the right decision. I'm trying out new jobs and want to leave my office career behind. Finished my education last year but I found it to be boring as hell. Problem I see is, if I'd find that desired job, but what if it pays like much lower than I'd get in the office? A job coach of mine said that I'd probably get like 5-7€ less if I'd get a job in the gastronomy. That really hurts, but if it feels not as staggering as it felt in the office, I'm thinking that I might pay the price... Maybe. I know that I'd probably would have barely enough money to pay the rent and get food and maybe I can get few little extras per month. Cannot expect much of course. What if it'd just feel more comfortable in such a job? But then again I come to think, having less money sucks, knowing you could've more... More money makes life easier, but the job providing me with more money, makes it harder for me on the other hand. Talking about bitter irony. I'm running in circles on this one. From my past jobs I know, there is nothing that drives me out of a job more than boredom and repetitions. Also I found out, that I feel really bad, sitting in front of a screen doing unfullfilling work all day long. Just doing regular office stuff and counting the hours, hoping it's weekend soon. Has anyone similiar experiences?
  4. Hey, I've decided to visit a volleyball club in the coming two weeks. I don't think that card games are too similar. Also one interacts with real people and does'nt hide behind a screen like it's with video games. Sure I could get obsessed with that card game also, but it would be an activity where I'm forced to go out and interact with people in reality.
  5. Just a little update: I got another trial work tomorrow at a coffee store. They also sell other merchandise like kitchen stuff and clothes. It's not a big store, but I'm a bit concerned about lifting heavy boxes again. I'd be ok with that if it's like an hour a day stowing away stuff. I wanted to go there in the first place because I can imagine to be ok with standing there at the bar and serve coffee to the customers, cleaning the tables from time to time etc. The trial is starting in about 10 hours. I wonder how it'll be.
  6. I finally mobilized the courage to visit a toast masters meeting. It was interesting, but I will look for different kinds of events or clubs that suit me better. Also I figured that I need something more immerse like a card game community and maybe additionally a sports club. I want it to be recurring each week so I got my routines. It feels more comfortable to me that way.
  7. Sorry it took some time for me to answer; I've been writing several applications the past weeks. One resulted in a 2-day trial work in a grocery store. I'm not well trained and lifting all these heavy boxes all day was a pain in the a. Also being delegated to the paper press was so sad. I felt like a pet that's being conditioned to do "trivial" things like pressing a button. I'm honestly thinking to start with a 9 to 5 office job finally. I've been struggeling to get started in an office since I finished my apprenticeship because of fears and not knowing what I want. I made some bad experiences in the office, but I'm just trying to find excuses. Grocery stores are actually way less exciting as I originally thought they would be. So now I want to focus more on office jobs. This week I had two other job interview invitations, but I missed both on purpose since it overwhelmed me and I became kind of scared I guess. Right now I'm writing applications for smaller stores that don't sell foodstuff. Such as comic, tabletop and trading card stores. Already had an internship in one and it was quite interesting so I still got hopes for that path. Yeah exactly, it's really hard for me to figure that out. My therapist said it seems like I got some kind of fears regarding work places / jobs, plus it would seem that I got social anxiety he said. This shows especially when I go to events with big groups and unknown people. Also here I start to avoid, but sometimes I can make it. At least they now see that I'm trying, but I keep acting paradoxical because of my fears. Being invited to job interviews and then avoiding them.
  8. I'm currently playing card games (Magic / Netrunner) in a local store. Kind of new to these two. Sometimes I also play with friends Goat Format(old school yugioh 2005 format). There's lots of new stuff to explore though to fill my time: Public speaking course, shogi and volleyball are a few on my mind. Maybe I'll buy a guitar soon and take lessons. I yet have to take the first step to actualy do all these things.
  9. Do you have experience in such kind of craftsmanship? Before you quit your study, maybe you could try to get into a gardening or carpenter internship for a few weeks and see how you like it over time. I personally would test the waters first before turning my life/career upside down.
  10. Hi Cam, totally found myself in that article. Really makes me think... I hope that I can find a job where I can start a few days a week with a smile, because I like going there and not feeling bad like all the time, would be fine enough for me. I'm in therapy for 5 weeks now. My therapist basically said what you suggest, that I should actually start something so I can get a sense of achievement. It's hard for me to leave my comfort zone and overcome my fears. You're right, finding a job should be priority number one and once I get used to it I will try to get a better salary. I even have some places in my mind where it would'nt be too bad to work actually.(I guess) Thank you so much for the advice and the article!
  11. Hi, I'm as most of the gaming addicts, not a very outgoing active person. I rarely go outside if I don't have to - trying to change that currently but I put that aside for now. Right now I'm under huge pressure to find a job. It's now almost a year since I finished my apprenticeship. I had a hanful of job interviews already and as a result some offered me a position. I declined all of them even though it would've been in my best interest to start working. Still sitting at my parents basement and they are seriousely pissed that I cannot get my life sorted and it's getting worse by the day. Each time I declined a job offer I was trying to justifiy, saying stuff to my self such as: "With my educational level I could get more money at a different job." or "This might've been too stressful anyway, people, noise all the time."(diner job) Then paradoxically when I got an office-job offer with more salary, I also declined. I even had a chance to work at a bank for the first time in my life for half a year, but I declined because I really hate office environments. I keep writing applications so I can work as a call-center agent and once the agency calls me for the first time for a job interview I get f-king scared and ignore them. The thing that scares me the most is that the pressure could overwhelm me. I've been hikkikomori for two years around 2010 and I don't wanna go through such a life phase again. Loosing hope, friends, social life - resulting in isolation. I got excuses for ANYTHING job related and I don't know how to stop and get my life sorted. I'm sh*t broke and my parents hate me. I really want to get a life of routine, more safety and where work is included but I just keep running away. Most of the time it was "easy" that way, yes, but before I knew the truck has already hit the wall I fear.
  12. Hi, I find myself procrastinating quite a lot. I made a weekly list of recurring activities, such as a chess club, volleyball, visiting a Cafe, trying a Yoga class or playing a card game with a group. It's a free time shedule or how you call it. But there is one big issue I'm encountering at the moment: I have yet to make the first step and leave the house in order to do these activities. Instead of going out, I stay inside, browse the web, watch youtube videos, read blogs or make my own fantasy cards with a card creator tool.. But all of this won't bring me closer to my goals. I really want to try all these new activities, but I somehow cannot get over to the last step of actually going out and do it. Any ideas or tricks you guys did or learned in the past during your detox?
  13. I'm totally new to the game quitters mindset. Two weeks ago I've stumbled over Cam's videos on youtube after seeing another vid, where a guy talked about his past and video game addiction. Additionally one of my close friends has just gone into a rehab center recently. I often find myself just sitting on PC for hours, often just because I feel there are no alternatives. It's not just games in my case, but it's also just sitting on PC until late night during weekends, where I can't just power off. Even if I want to and get exhausted. Usually I'm 10+ hours a day on the computer during weekends and when I have work or other obligations I play or browse from around 5 to 22-23 pm pretty much immediately when I'm home.. I already quit all MMO's I played a year ago. However I still "just" sit there and it feels so wasted. Not happy with my life at the moment. I only have 3 close friends, all of them are gamers. Currently I'm focusing on finding new activities. What I already started is working through a specialist book, in a more serious attempt. Plus another one, but this one I basically just have as my evening read, for self-development. I'm planning to do the 90-day-detox eventuallly in about a month or two, currently reducing my time spent on the PC step by step. I installed a timer-software which counts down from 2 and a half hours. As soon as the timer hits zero I gotta turn the computer off. Once I'm at 30 mins a day I plan to start with the detox phase of 90 days. I don't want it to break down too rapidly, because I heard it can give like real bad cravings. By slowly reducing it I could trick my brain. Really looking forward to stay connected with you guys on this forum! So glad I'm here!
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