Hitaru

Almost there man, congrats!

Learn, adapt, repeat.

Hi from the Netherlands! Soyboy land. Problems seem to fade during holidays, yet the looming cloud of future responsibility is still there. Not that it worries me that much right now, I can stop being dramatic for a bit without falling off character (?)

Being around other people and not neglecting your passions and hobbies is very helpful, and holidays are a great time to do both. You can check on our video about "How to avoid gaming during the holidays", right now I can't but I'll paste the link here if I remember later. Merry Christmas!

Epic.

Merry Christmas to you too!

@Mhyrion <3 So proud of you sis!

Felices fiestas Jay!

- Is journaling tiring? Yes. It's part of the idea tho. Like you really improve in a workout when you reach the point of exhaustion, you usually get to the raw ideas and emotions when you scratch the surface by writing it down. That's how it works for me at least, probably it does for others as well. - About Fantasies vs. Reality. Randy Pausch in his Last Lecture found (what I think was) a really smart solution for this. He said how he would have this childhood expectations that of course were not always realistic or physically attainable, but he would always try to reach the closest compromise. Eg. Maybe it was impossible to him to be an astronaut and travel to Mars, but there are alternatives to be able to experience 0-gravity.

Second drawing (the street) gave me a very andalusian sensation, perhaps? Really good stuff man! I don't have issues with social gaming either, but I know that triggers me towards compulsive single-player. You can take a word of advice from one who hit his head against most of the walls or test it by yourself. To be fair, if I was in your shoes I'd test anyway. If you think it's best for you, go for it. Just come back to tell later no matter how it goes!

The premise was fine but the resolution was oh-so-melodramatic (Have you ever seen Japanese or Korean TV serial dramas? My God.). And Your Name... Uh. It was good (enjoyable) but it had so, so, so many possibilities. If I didn't know, I would have said it was the adaptation of a VN à la Clannad (which btw makes me cry like a little b*tch). Shonen meh, had my phase, may watch some in an unspecified future. I like silly, short-ish and slightly frisky shoujos. Shameful but true. And lolis in historical backgrounds (?) Sorry for spamming your journal lol. More discussion by PM if you want. Or maybe open a forum thread? We're not the only anime fans out there. Hope you're having a great day!

I've seen it. Death. We fell beside the other, comforted. He whispered words of love. I returned them in kind. They felt fake. Everything I say feels fake, fabricated. Maybe that's why I want a career in politics? That's a side thought. I'm always sidetracking. And thinking about politics. Here I did as well and so I mention. I looked to the side like that woman of the ice pick with cold stone eyes. I thought it was not for me. This life. Not to be, not to end, not to stay still. [Made a lame character of collapsing lime?] A faker. I said, "That would be my form" [of love]. But his words felt real. So I craved for the blue once more, once again. His hands felt mine. His touch, not poking but caressing. It was there. I was. In the texture of his fingers I saw it. Like a sudden moment of 'Ah! (right!)'. So many useless thoughts so far, so sorry. Death was not a thought, not a theory. It was a feeling. A feeling of life, no, Life. "The great Realization" which comes after a relieved sigh. It was there with me. I didn't mind. - And what happens next? - asks the wide-eyed child. Someone drops a red blanket from the top of the catwalk. - Then... - the young woman starts; the blanket catching up with her. And by the time it's on the floor, there's no one on the stage, only faint footsteps and the flickering shade of fabric. ___________________________ Sorry for this... thing. Had to write it down right away. I understand. It's a note to myself.

Right in my childhood, Cardcaptor Sakura~~! Back to the time when a proper magical girl had nothing to do with being a ghetto edgy t***-tr******* les****- Ahem. What have you been watching lately? It's been a while since I watched anime. Last time was all the filmography of Makoto Shinkai bc all the hype from the latest movie (except Hoshi no Koe, the only one I knew prior and was actually looking forward to watch) and boy honestly felt like watching the same thing over and over. The guy basically had the same story to tell, some girl in high-school must have gave him a very bad time and he refined those angsty feels for years until bam, best-selling Japanese animation movie ever. Perseverance is key. (Jokes aside, goddamn determination, the guy did most of his films by himself, we should interview him).

Nuevo post en Facebook: - La OMS reconoce el trastorno por videojuegos como problema mental. Lee la noticia y su análisis aquí.

You say it as if planning for self-improvement wasn't entertaining to see

Read the news here. This comes around the same time as China announces measures to limit underage gamers from spending too many hours at their home-made version of LoL, "Arena of Valor" (among its many other names).

I'll take it you're writing my idea someday, I'll be looking forward to it Sort out the ends, and you'll find the means. I'm not very good at determining "I'll be a writer", but I know "I want to write a book", so I can have in mind the means to do that (devoting time to research and write, etc.). If you don't know what you want to be, picture what you want to experience, go from specific to broad. You'll find some unexpected and interesting things.

4 months and beyond! Congrats Eli.

Welcome!

I'll try to keep it in mind as much as I can while I battle the horrendous imposter syndrome Like really, it was two nights ago when I was also going over it. I have an amazing love partner literally beside me when I was thinking this, an inspiring mentor (that's you @Cam Adair!), a supportive family, great friends, an awesome community and a life full of courage and overcome challenges. I mean, we live in the Age of Criticism and even I have the impression that I'm getting praise all the damn time. There's something I must be doing right, right enough to at least get a good night's rest. Why can't I just chill? It will be fine! Always better than when I was gaming at the very, very least. What the heck is so wrong with me that deserves this... contempt towards myself? You know, somehow I still feel like that scared, angry and impressionable wide-eyed child from too many years ago, listening to his father that had kneeled in front of him, words of the old man coming out his throat sore from whiskey, trying so unsuccessfully to conceal his satisfaction about how his son was declared "gifted" and, in some way, would never have a normal life. So, so special. I guess I didn't want to see it, the few times I noticed. Among university students, I was still a child. In front of soldiers, a child facing them. A naked young man, eyes and lips gleaming with lust, and a child trembling in shyness beneath him. God damn it. Always been like this. I'm experiencing life through the subconscious of a neurologically mature 6 year old. It's a wonder how I could even reach to where I am now. Pretty impressive, for a child. If I was to adopt the mindset and attitude of a new, adult me, it feels as if I would rip apart from my ribs and my liquefied soul would spill pathetically onto the floor. It would feel like I'm losing a great part of myself in the process, of the me that is been always there, to transition towards a fluid thing that is less here, as if tiptoeing through existence until the end. Yeah, I face every day as if it was the last. With enthusiasm? Nah. With some form of sometimes-optimistic-sometimes-not-so-much resignation. But such are things again. That's how really life is. Transient. I'll learn to be happier about it.

I had the talk with my mother about this new development and she initially agreed to provide me with a starting "salary", until I start earning money on my own, which should happen on a middle-term (actually I don't know when would that be, but let's say... two years from now at most?). This is important. The situation would be kind of the same, being provided by her, but having an amount of money to consider "my own" will erase a lot of anxiety from me (that's the plan). It'll allow me to stop asking for menial things, and therefore giving most explanations, thank God. Now I can freely buy courses, or order that much needed "professional-looking" photo for my profiles, or invest in bitcoin, whatever, really (I'm not falling for the bitcoin meme, but you get what I mean and it's glorious). So, let's say that I'm officially employed. Self-employed. [I can't shake off the feeling that I'm privileged as fuck and that I'll be harshly criticized for my beginnings in later years, but what else can I do? Such are things, I have to make most of it. I was born in a rich country, in a mid-class family. I didn't choose the opportunities, but it's my moral responsibility to seize them and provide value, for the sake of a better world than what I first found. Makes sense?] Now, it will be really easy for me to overlook this fact and keep having a crappy life, so I'll need a routine. With working hours. And leisure hours. Like a /norm/ balanced person. This is where I struggle, I tend to get engrossed, stressed and block myself then do neither work nor rest. Bad strategy. With this small new income, I'm hoping I'll be able to invest in hobbies again without having to explain or feel bad. I just need the habit of taking action.

I mean, once I saw americans on TV putting processed sugar into macaroni, I couldn't unsee it. Check your entry of the 11th and this last one. It's ok to let yourself go a little if you are sick (it's not ok however to "coincidentally be sick all the time" if you know what I mean!). This bad mood you're having will pass, only your actions remain. Any time is a good moment to stop for a bit, break the inertia of that frustration and take up the day again with a renewed mindset. You've been doing great, don't get discouraged!

Ts ts, you're slacking on the check ins! You can do it.

I want a novel about a wandering karate master in space, with a classical piano soundtrack and pop culture and video game references. There, problem solved (???)

You prepare yourself to cope with failure if you think "I am going to relapse". Give it at least the benefit of doubt: "It will be a challenge to not relapse, but I'll try my best" Almost halfway through! Reflect on all the positive changes that are happening to you. It's the best defense against relapse and going back.