Mettermrck

A lot of your habits are almost the same as mine. And I thought I was ambitious hehe. You're.doing great Hitaru. Some of those habits are tough ones. Hang in there!

I can relate. Gaming is like anesthesia to your life, it puts you to sleep and keeps you from dealing with your life. Many times I think about the time I've wasted and the talents I've underdeveloped. But I refuse to go back to gaming just to forget this pain. We have to learn how to face it openly.

Sounds like a job well done, Mhyrion. Yes, I love a few quiet.moments sitting outside and just listening to birds. It can be very peaceful.

Day 23/90. A couple changes to the journal. Taking out the other addiction days. Soda and porn are still going great and almost on autopilot though I can't get cocky. And I'm tired of the fapping day 1 haha. I'm still iffy on that one. I'd like to avoid it but not sure if I should stress it. Two, I'm adding a gratitude journal at the bottom. I've seen a few guys do it and I like it. Cam recommends it in several videos and I think it would go well with my meditation. Plus I feel this urge to cut back on explicitly religious stuff for a while until I figure things out. Not all of it but some. So some secular spirituality would be useful. Ok then. Went to the gym yesterday! Did.some cardio. 45 min on the treadmill. All that walking this year meant I'm comfortable with that. I'm planning to work up to an hour max. Today is my first strength training session. It'll be slow at first until I figure out the.machines and my starting weights. I'll get there. Happy I'm doing it. Thanks deep space. Some days I feel pessimistic about the marriage, other days not bad. We just don't talk much except for walking the dog and stuff. July is when I'll start trying to get her to talk to a.clergyman or counselor with me. Maybe with some progress under my belt there'll be hope. I think a lot of my anxiety is just the suspense of waiting for the hammer to drop either way in two months. Hard to know which direction your life will move until it.does. Gratitude: 1. My mother, always supporting me no matter what 2. My job with a gym that can be free 3. My health, I'm strong enough to make it better

Great job Moe. I'm with you on the porn it's the worst of my addictions and I'm glad I'm kicking it. I haven't found it that tough so far. The biggest struggle with me is the same involuntary ads/women you talk about and fapping. Detoxing from that is tooough. Good job again!

Hey Hassan I'm glad you're back though I'm sorry for the struggles you've had to face. I've learned those same lessons...that gaming just takes over. It doesn't sit alongside your other hobbies as one among many. It wants to take over and eliminate all other rivals.

One thing you have to watch out for is negative thinking when it comes to other people. It can be tempting to think that peopme think less of you when they really don't. Just don't retreat inside yourself and isolate yourself from everybody. I struggle with this myself.

Sounds good Juha. I haven't figured out my long term goals either beyond the detox, going to the gym, and losing weight. Actually it makes me feel better that you haven't figured it out yet at day 62 hehe. ?

Well at least the stress didn't break you down and cause you to relapse. And like you said, you have a clean house! That's always a good feeling.

You know I've thought about doing a blog sometimes as a way to express myself and, exactly, get out of your comfort zone. I think it's awesome that you're taking that on, ashley!

Sounds like you're on a good track, orange. I'm happy for you!

You have great awareness of your triggers and that will help you in the long run and avoiding unwanted behaviors. Yes, I hate missing a day of exercise. You start to crave it. Maybe it's the dopamine? But sometimes you need a rest. Just get back to it when you feel better!

Day 22/90. Also 27/27/2 soda porn fap. Officially 3 weeks without gaming yeah! Staying strong. Yesterday was actually a pretty good day. I went to my gym orientation and the lady there was very nice. She had a custom program all set up for me with full body resistance training 2x a week and cardio 3 days with two rest days. Actually I'll probably do more cardio on the off days anyhow. I love to walk now. She showed me the different machines, how to start at a lighter weight and work my way up, how to stretch, etc. I have my gym bag all set up this morning. I'll do some cardio tonight after work. I'm psyched for this next phase in my life. I slept all night, on the couch, but peacefully without any real anxiety. Thank you exercise and meditation! I got a compliment from a coworker on how much weight I've lost recently. It's amazing how quitting soda just cascaded into positive health changes all over the place. I think soda drinker was as much a part of my identity as gamer was. I was thinking of something Moe wrote in his journal about how he has no time to game. I agree! I feel like my life is starting to fill up with other stuff and I have no idea how I ever had time to game. But I realize that gaming never "fit in" with my life. It took over my life! I would not be going to the gym, or reading, or reaching out to old friends and family, if I still gamed. Another reason not to go back after the detox.

I feel the same way sometimes. How in the world did I fit in hours of gaming into an already crowded day? Then I realized that gaming never "fit in". It took over and crowded everything else out.

Ultimately, it's your choice and I understand where you're coming from. I hope you do try the detox again. Keep coming back here and let us know how you are doing with moderation. Take care Hassan!

The best way I battle food cravings is to schedule my food, when I eat and what I eat so that I don't overeat. If I break down, I have something harmless around like sugar free popsicles for me.

You won't build your new life in a day or a week. I certainly found that out. Just keep going!

Had to do the Fahrenheit conversion in my head haha. x 1.8 + 32. It's been a while. I still hear video game soundtracks in my head. I hear the somber piano theme from Mass Effect 3 and I almost tear up. Hang in there, Corvus!

Oh yes eating out kills your budget! Great job in working to bring that under control.

Hang in there, onlysoul! I think your English is coming along nicely.

Kind of like when I used to work at a fast food place but didn't really partake. You get sick of it hehe.

Day 21/90. Also 26/26/1 soda porn fap. Not too bad yesterday. I'm starting to wonder if it's just anxiety and fear that prevents my body from getting more sleep or is my body changing from all the exercise? Is this just continued withdrawal symptoms? Sometimes I can't sleep even when I don't feel any anxiety. I just lay there. But once I get up, exercise, shower, etc., I function fine during the day. It's weird. Maybe I shouldn't overthink it. I'm only one month into this process after all. Gym orientation today at 12:45! I can't wait to finally get this process started. For me it's more about the social aspect and getting out of the house each day rather than the exercise. I exercise enough at home but this'll be a great way to go out and do more. My wife's brother was in the hospital yesterday. Only 45 yrs old, a stroke and seizure. My goodness. He's recovering.and responsive but it was scary. He's real heavy, about where I was 6 yrs ago (400ish lbs). He has uncontrolled diabetes, etc. If I needed more.motivation to keep up with my health changes, this is it. I tried to be real supportive to my wife. I drove her to the hospital and stayed with her as long as she needed. The best thing without video games, there was no question of leaving early for anything. I don't know if any of this will make any difference with our marriage, but I like to think if there is a chance, this had to have helped. I'm proud of myself for that at least. Not sweating the fapping. It happens in the morning when I'm just laying there. I should just get up and get walking and not be distressed that I didn't sleep as much as I used to.

You sound like things are really back on track, Moe. It's amazing how far you've come in just 13 days. One of my biggest regrets is not finishing my degree 20 yrs ago. I hope to change that.

As a former Steam junkie I know how tough it must have been to let go of that long library of video games. It's not easy to forget but that's a big step for you!

Don't beat yourself up, Dirk. It's a battle but you learn from each relapse, you learn more about yourself, the triggers, danger times, etc.