giblets

@MmmWatermelon summed it nicely Tom. When I get angry at work I shut the door (or find a quiet place) and try to work out why I am getting angry, what is causing me to overreact. The majority of the time is because I am emotionally attached to the task at hand for whatever reason, whether I have a personal interest in a task or person, or I have spent a lot of my own energy in a project so don't want to see it go. Pausing and reflecting like this has helped me a lot. If I need to calm down or I can't calm myself down, I change my environment. 90% of the time for me that is going for a run for an hour. I'll then come back and reattempt the problem. What may also help is a worksheet. I use a worksheet for anxiety to fill out when I am not feeling well in order to try and find the root cause of the problem rather than get angry at myself. You might benefit from one as well, it has 5 questions on it like "What is the problem?", "What was happening before you felt like this?", and "What needs to happen next?" It really helps break down the problem into smaller items that you can influence.

14 Aug 17 Days to go: 245 So yesterday was the run/race, which required me to get up early and catch a bus to the start line before all the roads started closing. As a result, I didn't get around to my journal post, but it was still a good day. There were so many people in the race that it was almost unbearable. Approximately 80,000 people participated. Ever tried to run in the middle of 80,000 people? It's hard work. I was constantly dodging people and trying to find gaps to run. I really hope that there isn't so many people trying the marathon later in the year or I am going to have a hard time hitting my stride or desired speed. I ended up aiming for a goal of 90 minutes or less, and achieved 79 minutes (5:45min/km), so I am quite happy with that. When I got to the half way mark I realised I was not going fast enough at all, that I was sitting in my long distance speed so was wasting a lot of time and picked up the pace. Felt like I almost sprinted the second half. Anyway if I had done that from the start I might have been able to qualify for the next group up which has less people in it and would make it easier to run, but I missed the qualifying time by about 2 minutes (5:30min/km). Knowing that I will not meet the time in the marathon either I am thinking of travelling to another race somewhere here in Aus to get a qualifying time. I talked to a few mates about the idea and they think I am crazy and just chasing medals! (not sure if I talked about my medal board idea on here yet) Of course all that meant to me is I must be doing the right thing if everyone thinks I am crazy The rest of the weekend was really great. I need to work on my triggers again, because the smallest things keep me reminiscing about my old handhelds (GB, DS, etc). I think it is all the research I have been doing on Raspberry Pi zeros for projects etc. So many people have used them to build handhelds it makes me wonder if they are used for any actual projects like the foundation designed them for! I managed to finish soldering together my son's white noise maker, now I just need to setup the software on it. I hope I can get that finished this week sometime. It is another busy week ahead of me. I didn't get as much study last week as I should have so there is that to do, as well as do some online posts, plus a few people at work are sick so I need to cover for them as well. Just keep swimming just keep swimming.... Had a nice Dad-Son day on Saturday. We went to a cafe and and had coffee and cake in the morning, then to a nearby park to run around and be crazy. Was a lot of fun and definitely something I need to do more often. It was quite humorous to see all these kids running around the park enjoying all the equipment, and then about 1 metre behind each of them was a parent shuffling their feet. It is like they had a pet! Finally got the xbox up online for sale. Within an hour I had sold the extra controllers, now waiting for someone to snap up the console! Aim for today is to be as productive as possible and not lose control of my emotions during what is going to be a stressful day. I hate Mondays. Grateful corner Playgrounds. Some serious money and effort goes into building these for public use. It must be a great feeling building them knowing that thousands of kids are going to have a lot of fun climbing all over them and pretending they were ship captains or pirates or just forgetting about their worries for a while or if they are having a tough time with some things. There are many kids out there that don't have access to a safe playground so I feel for them.

I've been trialling etar since you mentioned it and it's working fine!

Welcome @BigPete247! I bet you're actually small

Ready Player One was a fantastic book, I thoroughly recommend it. I listened to it on Audible and instead of "couldn't put it down", I "couldn't press stop"!

That's because I'm going bald

My desktop is a $50 Raspberry Pi 3. Absolutely love it.

12 Aug 17 Days to go: 247 @Mettermrck & @Vlad - break as in I need to slow down and smell the roses now and again. I am pushing myself constantly to achieve which is great, but I came to the realisation last week that it is slowly crushing me. So, I guess out of it comes twofold, I need to improve my stress coping mechanisms, and secondly I need to fit in some meditation or similar during the week that I can give myself mini-vacations. I listened to a podcast last night on the plane that was talking about people with ADD and how they always need to stay busy and generally don't think about how little time they give other people (aka family) and I was quite moved by it 0 because essentially that is me. Following on from @Cam's video of "just in time learning", as soon as I got home I made my wife the #1 priority and just sat and talked with her, without trying to multi task or do anything else. It was great and we both enjoyed reconnecting with no agendas or anything else going on. So I'm back from my work trip which was fantastic. I got to play around with the new software we will be using for work as well as catch up with some old friends. There was still a sense of stress as I was trying to complete an assignment that was due yesterday (which I managed to). I had some mixed feeling about my study, as the trip made me remember why I withdrew my last degree, I felt like I could not relax and enjoy time with friends and family as I was either thinking about how much study I needed to do, or I was cancelling on them so I could go study. But the innocent questions from my friends and the discussions about it reminded me of why I was pushing on with it and reinvigorated me. I do enjoy studying and learning new things and I have wanted this degree for a long time, it is going to be beneficial to me in the long run. So I am gritting my teeth and pushing on. On a long enough timeline, everything is ephemeral. What I took away from the whole balancing/discussion over the last few days is I need to get better at stress management. Either my skills in this area have taken a hit (I scored 85% in stress management in the recent personality test I did) or they are being worn down from my productivity kick of go go go. Both are possible. Some reflecting is required I think, as I have had a couple of outbursts at work as a result which I need to cut out - they are not professional and it is burning relationships with my colleagues. Still haven't sold the xbox - but not because I don't want to! I have been prioritising other activities over it. But, there is good news, I have now sold $1000 worth of my extra devices floating around the house, including another console. I am quite happy with myself, I am decluttering and making a few bucks on the side as well. I originally thought of buying a new laptop with all the money, but then the minimalists popped in my head. If I hadn't wasted the ~$1500 to buy all the devices in the first place, then I would be able to work two weeks less! That's two weeks wages I have spent on essentially nothing as I barely used those items. So I am not going to get a new laptop - the one I have had for about 3 years now is still working fine. I don't use it to play games, its purpose is to word process and surf the internet, which is does fine, and it only cost $180! So that has been $60 a year so far, what a bargain. The only thing that grinds my gears about it, which is why I have wanted a new laptop, is that it runs Windows and not linux. I just don't trust Windows. But I convinced myself I don't need to run linux, I just need to type and study, which can be achieved by Windows. Anyway I think I know the market price for my xbox now after a bit of research so I hope to put it online today. Today is going to be another busy day but it should only take a couple of minutes, so I will endeavour to get it done after this post before my son wakes up. city2surf run is tomorrow. I haven't exercised since Monday, so that is a 5 day break, probably the longest I have had since I came down hard with the 3 week flu. The break was because of a combination of things, even though it might sound like I am making excuses (and I might be). I was really drained at the start of the week so I was concerned I was coming down sick again just before the race, so I wanted to use the energy to stay healthy. I worked out it was because I was feeling depressed instead though, and I think I am through that little speed bump, thanks to the work trip. After that I travelled which took out a day or two, and then it became rest just before the race so I am not sore. Hopefully I'll make up for it by going hard tomorrow and doing well in the run. Ultimately I would just like to finish, I have no time in mind, but I will record my time per km on my phone to see if I improved. Grateful corner Blogs. This week's Pi Weekly newsletter has someone's blog who built a mp3 player into an old lego case, which is exactly what I am trying to do for my son's white noise maker this weekend - except into a mint tin not a lego case. I am grateful people take the time to upload these blogs, because it looks like he has it wired up differently than what I was planning. I'm hoping to read his entry and learn a few things. This weekend to be productive: noisemaker, run, sell xbox, study.

It's like moving from LA to NY! Depends what kind of exercise you're wanting to do @Zeeko! The majority of routines it doesn't matter where you are or what equipment you have access to. If you need some light weights you could use items around the house or buy single entries into those anytime fitness franchises. Exercise is great when you get into the routine, not just for your body but really helps clear your mind, which will help during the detox.

On a long enough timeline, everything is ephemeral.

I was worried as well, especially when they would ask me why they haven't seen me online for weeks. Turns out like @Mettermrck said, they were very supportive, and it gave at least one other one the motivation to give up and go outside as well. For the remainder, I just get on the front foot with suggestions for activities instead because they have a chance to default back to "meet you online".

Did the relapse on soda cause the relapse on fast food? You can do this buddy. Just visualise the amount of weight you were losing every day! Your body needs tons of energy to keep getting put through its paces in the gym, and it's only going to get that from healthy foods!

09 Aug 17 Days to go: 250 So I am in a bit of a bad mental space with work. I am at the point where when I look at my to do list or work through projects, all my mind is saying is "you really need a break". This started getting stronger and stronger right before I lost my cool at work over a couple of issues. They probably are minor issues but I took them personally due to the pride I have in my work. Was I permitted or allowed to get emotional about them? I would say so. Should I have got emotional about them? No, I should have kept it together and taken the professional route. I do have a work trip for the next two days so I might be a bit quiet on here. If it is the case of I don't establish a routine or I don't have enough time to make any posts I will write them down on my trusty (shudder, windows) laptop. I do have an essay due Friday that I haven't started again, I thought I had fixed this problem. Me getting emotional really does derail my progress in so many different areas. Have not put my xbox up on eBay yet as I can't work out what the market price for it is. I ended up just researching similar sales yesterday to try and work out a fair price. Grateful corner My son. I came home in the middle of the day yesterday to get away from the crush of work and spent a few minutes with him just wandering around the house playing with stuff. Really helps not only put things in perspective but to forget about my first world problems for a while. He didn't need to do anything different, just to be himself.

You might be feeling a bit fragile too with looking down the barrel of splitting with your wife. Just be aware of your weaknesses or soft points for the moment and be ready for them! Maybe you are trying to give too many things up at the same time so your body is still adjusting? Just think, if you keep going down this path then you are going to start being nostalgic about life! You haven't finished the game of life yet, and the graphics are way better

All the cool kids live in Sydney mate! I feel your frustration with it being a lot of effort to catch up with people. I have virtually given up on it, but one thing @Cam pointed out to me was that you don't have to catch up with them in person to be social with them. I now try to skype or call someone new every day or when I really feel a bit isolated. Have you also tried audiobooks instead of reading? You might find you can get through content faster and you can still listen even if you're tired. And when you move to Sydney, travelling does not become any easier!

08 Aug 17 Days to go: 251 So my browser crashed and I lost my post. Frustrating. That is the deathknell for using Midori! Lets see if I can remember what I had. I don't think I am a pure minimalist either @Mettermrck, but it definitely is a path I would like to follow. There are too many little luxuries that I enjoy right now that would prevent me from being considered a true believer! But even if I implement just a handful of the concepts then both my mental state of feeling comfortable in my own house again (and when people are over) and financially from both the stuff I sell and the stuff I don't buy, are going to be way better off. I have sold two things on eBay now, have one active listing and hopefully today will be the day that I finally put up my xbox. No more excuses after talking about it for so long! I am @Vlad! I am inspired by the pimoroni speaker hat. It looks like it should just be the case of soldering one wire and some headers, the biggest challenge will be sorting out the software side of it - I haven't done any research into it at all. I am hoping I can finally get one of my half-finished projects out of the way and put to use. I wanted to make a white noise maker for him because at the moment I use an old phone to play white noise for him but he is so fascinated by screens I want to minimise him being around them, and when he sees the phone he grabs it and tries to start playing videos on it already. It should use less power too. So I think my arch nemesis is here - I am getting sick again. The last day I have had zero energy and it has been a real struggle to do anything of importance, which is usually the first sign of I am coming down with something. This sucks, because I knew the biggest challenge I am facing now until the marathon is just staying healthy. I thought I had got ahead of it by drinking a boatload of water and taking lots of vitamins, but it looks like that was a losing battle. I guess it was always going to be a challenge with my son going to child care and having so many people in the house. Fingers crossed I will be able to get over it quickly and get back training, I have the city2surf race this weekend that I will be doing regardless if I have to drag myself over the finish line. I was going to rest for 3 days prior to the race anyway so maybe that will also help. I think I need to shake up my podcast list. I have a couple of podcasts there from before I started the detox which are gaming related. I haven't been downloading any new episodes of them, but they still come up in my new episode feed. Today there was a podcast about the new Lycanroc form, which turned into me googling pokemon again (which was probably reinforced by talking to mates about it a few days ago), which turned into me reading news posts about the new game they announced two months ago that I didn't know about. Felt good at first having a read about them, then I got the thought of "maybe you could dabble in it a little now you're through the detox" and I quickly closed the browser tabs. I knew where that was heading. Evil little shoulder devil man. Maybe my DS needs to go on the chopping block too! I have enjoyed my "mini vacation" from study for a day. Decided not to look at my studies yesterday to reset after the massive amount of pressure I put myself under for the debate. I will get back to it today, even if it is just going through some of the readings. Going to be another busy day so need to stay as productive as possible and prioritise correctly - wasting time looking at gaming sites does not help! Grateful corner Bill "smoothing". I have only discovered this is a thing yesterday, which is a surprise, it makes so much sense. It is where if you get large bills like council rates or water bills every quarter or annually, that you can use companies that will break it up into smaller amounts for you to pay more regularly for a fee. The end result is your expenses are "smoothed" out over the year. I am testing out paying some of my larger irregular bills this way, which should also remove some of that pressure I was feeling before with my panic attack. It is also handy to break down how much I need to earn each week or month to keep on top of my bills! I think far too many of us lose track of how much we should be earning or saving, resulting in spiralling out of control into debt.

This! Sign of a parent and the inevitable running out of patience You can get apps that speed up the playback of audiobooks/podcasts if that helps. I usually have my podcasts on 2.0x speed and audiobooks on 2.5x speed. I think you can go all the way up to about 5.0x, but I sincerely doubt anyone would be able to understand that! I've battled a fair bit with anxiety if you want to talk about it!

Kia Ora bro!

Hi MrJorgan. Greetings from the down under state!

I think you would get a lot of benefit from spending time away from your phone!

Think of the amount of influence you could have to the open source community! Thanks to people like you I have the ability to even be online right now. The thought that something you have created is having a tangible impact on someone (or thousands) of people's lives would be amazing.

Why not an artefact that would gain value over time rather than a money-sink like a car? That way you are striving and shaping that competitiveness while still preparing your future. A house is an obvious choice, but another and cheaper option could be art, shares, collectibles, etc.

@Vlad is right about this one (I think) - the sugars are processed differently in your body, and I think it has something to do with the fibre of the fruit. I probably should do some more research into this. Like apples and bananas are supposed to be slow release energy rather than the sugar rush of refined sugar. Again, need to do some research to confirm or deny (fake news). I don't realise how little sugar I have in my diet until I have something with it in it and I get a huge rush to my head. The different is I don't like it at all, it makes me restless and gives me a bad feeling on my teeth. That's why I gave up soda, not because I didn't like the taste (I would almost kill for a dr pepper at this point), but because I could feel the amount of sugar just sitting in my gut, and I would drink about 3 litres of water after one can of soda to try and dilute that feeling. Mate if you keep losing weight like that, you will be wearing medium clothes before you know it!

I know that feeling with a young family! Try to think about what else you could use your time on the commute for - sleeping, listening to podcasts, or researching how you can better support/help your kid!

07 Aug 17 Days to go: 252 That's not what I meant @Mettermrck, or at least that is not the intention behind what I am doing. What I meant was I tend to keep myself preoccupied, before it was with gaming, and now it is with studying, but she would see the same outcome. It is not to avoid my wife, more the fact of I hate being idle. I'll spend lots of time with her, as long as we are doing something. If it's a sit around and talk kind of day or activity, I get bored very quickly. There are occasions that I will avoid her - but that is usually if we are having an argument and she is getting emotional about it or I am angry. In both of those situations, talking isn't going to help until either of us calm down. Well I am officially on the other side of the online debate. That was far more intense than I was expecting or what I had mentally and intellectually prepared for. I think I achieved my aim of being the dominant debater though, when the debate closed last night I had given the final say on the last 6 discussions. Might not have meant much to other people, but it meant a lot to me. So where to from here? I need to summarise my posts into an essay and submit that by Friday. Then I have a break for a few days, lo and behold I will be able to enjoy the weekend! I might have to come up with something fun to do with the family away from my desk. I would also like to get back to my electronic projects at least for a few hours. I have a white noise maker to finish for my son at a minimum. Even though the debate is finished, this week is not going to be any easier than the last. On top of my usual work and standing in for a colleague, I have a work trip to attend a workshop for two days on Thursday/Friday, so I need to have everything in order before that flight. It feels like it never ends, always being so busy, so hectic, but to be honest, I am not sure if I would have it any other way. If I do start to slow down or get idle, I tend to insert something or look for something to add in order to get myself busy again. Must just be how I am wired, and I doubt I am unique in that case! Sold a few more things around the house on eBay, doing my bit for decluttering! Was having a great conversation with my brother last night about how much money is wasted just on things and how eventually we grow to resent them for their clutter or the hassle of having to pack them and move them around. Think how much better of people would be or how much less they would have to work if they followed the minimalist path, or even if they don't want to follow the minimalist path if they at least just really stop and challenged why they are buying things. It definitely is a challenge trying to do it as a family, but that won't stop me giving it a go! Grateful corner Online courses. While distance mode was a thing back when I attended university in the early 00s, it has come along in leaps and bounds now to the point where I would question why you would need to attend lectures these days. If I wasn't able to study through the online format I wouldn't be able to further myself like I am now. I can set my own hours, choose which deadlines I want, go at the pace I want, and not feel disadvantaged at all. In fact, because I am a self-starter (got a score of 98% on my last personality test), I find it much easier and much more rewarding. Now that I am not trying to prioritise video games over studying as well, I can't wait to do more courses. I have been bitten by the learning bug again and it feels great.