giblets

10 Sep 17 Days to go: 218 Days to the marathon: 7 Days until assignment due: 1 (submitted already!) Wow, gone 3 days and my journal is pushed down half way on the second page. That's great! Good work team, I am glad to see so many people being active with their personal development and their path. It had gone a bit quiet last week! Maybe we are still feeling the departure of @Mettermrck. As I was thinking about what other voids the departure of some people have left, I realised we haven't heard from @Tom2 for a while. I hope you're going ok mate. So what have I been up to? Well, pretty much studying non-stop. I have poured some serious hours into my studies and as a result I submitted it a day early. I probably could of sat on it for another day and padded it out a bit more (I was about 300 words short) but I really wanted a day free of obligations that I could spend with my family, which I managed to achieve, and it was great. The little fella was still a bit grizzly from being unwell but it didn't matter, it felt good just spending time with them without having something pressing on the back of my mind. In the afternoon I went and did some gardening, mowed the lawn, trimmed all the bushes next to our verandah and then sawed some branches that were starting to reach over the road. Feeling quite accomplished I have "shut it down" with my running now until the marathon. I ran two days in a row for an hour each for 8km, and I pulled up with a really sore ankle. I can't risk going into the marathon with injuries so I am going to maximise the rest time. I figure I have done a lot of training until now anyway, and if I am not ready by now then I am not going to be ready anyway! I have still got a wet cough as well so trying a variety of remedies to get rid of that. Planning to sleep a lot this week, drink lots of water and healthy food. I am excited and nervous at the same time about the race. I think the last 10-15km is where the real test will come. I am quite tired so not much depth here in my post, sorry, but at least there is no major mind pretzel/knots that I need to reflect upon anyway. Battleplan for Tomorrow 1. Finish preparation for instructing a new course next week. 2. Start the process of sorting out the code for my son's noise maker. He's getting far too addicted to the phone I use to play music for him now so I need to put that away. 3. Build a worksheet from the coaching session with Cam. Grateful corner The online debate. Not sure if I have already used this one, but I really enjoyed it. I am planning to send an email in the morning to the lecturer thanking her for the format. It might come across as a little cheesy noting I have just submitted my assignment but I think it needs to be said anyway.

It takes courage to recognize you had derailed, and want to get back up and give it another go! Walking is a great way to change your environment and still progress things such as learning a new language (through podcasts), building social interaction (by walking with colleagues or call them), as well as by feeling great afterwards. It could also be a way to eat some different food as well depending on your circumstances

Interesting. The only music I really listen to is "study aids" like this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnaaxaAOlPk So I am not sure that will work for me!

You've still got a lot of potential at 24. Imagine trying to fix all of these problems when you're 42. The fact that you have recognised it and are willing to take steps to change your life means you've already got your foot in the door. As you have touched on, I think you need a new focus. Once you decide what that is - and if it is the programming sphere - then jump in boots and all. Keeping yourself occupied and engaged is what is going to help you the most quitting entirely.

Rather than think about it as withdrawals @Zeeko, think of it as nostalgia! You will empower yourself thinking of it in a different mindset. I understand what you mean regarding want to be occupied with no effort. I faced that challenge when I was trying to binge (and still trying to) on productivity. Rather than play games or watch TV though, I called my mates. And not just the mates that you work with or see every day, but people I don't speak to very often. I'd spend a good 15 minutes talking to them, catching up on old times (hello nostalgia), and by the end of it I would feel energetic and ready to go back to being productive or making dinner. Treadmills are great as they are softer on your feet than the pavement, or thats what the physio tells me anyway. The problem is trying to get the right pace for yourself, if you go too slow then your calves and shins will ache. You're through the hardest part of the detox! I found the 20s were the toughest for me and I spent a lot of time soul searching about the purpose of it all. Once you crack into the 30s it's like you have just pulled onto the highway and there is no other cars in front of you.

As in, start listening to music when we get riled up LittlePete? Tell me more.

07 Sep 17 Days to go: 221 Days to the marathon: 10 Days until assignment due: 4 I have begun watching motivational/inspirational videos in order to keep myself on the right path. I downloaded some last night when I was struggling with distractions from my study and managed to squeeze out an extra hour before going to bed, so hopefully that trend continues. I have downloaded a couple of videos of how to stay calm with people so I will keep them handy in case I am struggling with my emotions rather than beating myself up and getting depressed. Switched my training up yesterday and tried the treadmill. The physio indicated I should incorporate one run on the treadmill per week instead of so many out on the pavement to try and ease some stress on my ankle which is still bothering me. It was definitely softer on my feet, but boy was it boring. I could only do 30 minutes before I was so bored I couldn't continue. The great thing about it is you can set your pace exactly to the speed you want, so I set it to 5 minute kms which is faster than I ever run, and I did quite well. I felt great after the 30 minutes. I am going back to the road today though, I need to extend those times out and only doing 30 minutes on the treadmill isn't going to help. Only a few more runs before I start resting for the marathon anyway. Started studying as soon as I woke up again instead of coming on here. I have managed to do 40 minutes before I needed a break and came to my journal. Assignment is coming together nicely, I am trying to work on making it flow and breaking it up into the sections I want to cover before expanding it all out and aiming for the word count. I think I left it a little late to complete it with only 4 days left, but at least I feel comfortable 'sitting with it' and staying focused rather than having to battle gaming. Has anyone seen @Mettermrck? Battleplan for Today 1. Work on my assignment as much as possible. Everything else comes second. 2. Get back to interval training on the road today. Aim for 10+km. 3. Cook some rice and beans. Apparently it is healthy for you with high protein without needing meat or being very expensive. I have the ingredients, now just need to make it. Grateful corner Free apps. I am trialling aTimeLogger today to keep a track of how much time I am wasting outside of study. It is similar to the Study Checker app that @Tom2 uses, so I will compare the reports on completion and see what is better.

06 Sep 17 Days to go: 222 Days to the marathon: 11 Days until assignment due: 5 It's an online debate @Vlad for my university studies. Throughout the semester each student takes a turn leading the debate twice, you allocate yourself a topic and chose a for or against, and then go at it for a week with the rest of the class submitting posts on whether they agree or disagree and why, and you pull them apart. At the end of the debate, I then submit a 3,000 word essay on my findings and addressing all the opposite comments. I've finished leading now, need to submit my essay on Monday and then contribute to every one else's debate. It's quite hectic I have found, but I have thoroughly enjoyed it, it has gone some way to teaching me to not take things personally, as well as really get involved in the course content when people call you out for not knowing the whole picture. Yesterday was a bad day on so many fronts, and the flu is still is still kicking my ass I have discovered. I got a lot of work done by minimising all my distractions, but I still allowed myself to get emotional with some people at work. Again, this makes me feel like two steps forward and one step back. Part of me thinks I allowed myself to get emotional because I was so worn down and wasn't having a great day, and I should have recognised when I had reached that point and gone on some meditation or not reacted to anyone anymore. The other part of me thinks; am I manifesting my resentment for this job into the feelings for one person? Throughout my career there has always seemed to be one person or group that I have hated working with, and now reflecting on it I am wondering if it is because I see them as a representation of what I hate about my job. Why it is them I am not sure yet, maybe because their work practices are closely aligned with what I hate about the job or they are involved with the work I hate. Either way I need to get a grip on it. I did some searching last night on any articles or videos that might explain "why do I hate a person at work", but the only returns I got was "why do I hate people". If I am onto something with this problem, them maybe it has a different name or title that I need to work out. I think I am getting really depressed with work at the moment though. Part of me thinks I need to just count down until the new job kicks in, but thats still 6 months away so the other part of me thinks I need to either sort out this issue or become a hermit. Not really sure if option C is going to solve the problem, it is the method similar to gaming; escapism, pretend the problem isn't there and maybe it will go away. It won't go away you idiot, it will just stagnate or get worse. Bottom line is I need a break. Battleplan for Today 1. No contributions done yet. Slept for 11 hours last night instead as a combination of being depressed and the flu. Need to get some runs on the board here. 2. Do some more research on this thought process of manifesting my emotions on one person. It must be a common thing. 3. Hit the treadmill. The physio says it is softer on my feet with the injuries I am carrying. I am reluctant as it will be hard to regulate my speed and work out where my ideal pace is, but I need to get on with it. Grateful corner Whatsapp. Its such a great free, encrypted service that allows me to send short voice clips to friends. I have a friend that I went to university with ten years ago that is having a tough time with their job as well so we can send short voice clips to each other during the day without having to take breaks as an outlet. Probably should alter these to be more uplifting or affirmations as right now it is a bit of a vent, but I think it is mutually beneficial.

Once you've worked out how to do this LittlePete, let me know! I still haven't figured it out and it is the source of a lot of frustration.

05 Sep 17 Days to go: 223 Days to the Marathon: 12 Not going to spend as much time on the site today as I did not hit my studies yesterday morning at all prior to work, which didn't put me on good footing for the day like it usually does. Mondays always suck anyway. I was also so tired for the most of the day which made things really challenging, I had to have a nap at lunch time to try and get myself pepped up for the afternoon. Hopefully I won't have that problem today so I can knuckle down and get more done, but some effects of the flu are lingering which is annoying. Someone mentioned to me yesterday about an Ultra Trail, which is a 100km hike through the Blue Mountains, a really scenic part of the world just north/west of where I live. It is scheduled to take place in May next year, and it has perked my interest. I would like to see how I go in the marathon before I register to see if I have a chance of conditioning myself to doing anywhere up to 28 hours hiking (that's the time limit), but apparently the registrations sell out in the same day they open and they open in 8 days. I have a bit more time to think about it before I commit but the idea sounds interesting. Imagine being able to tell people not only have I completed a marathon but I have also completed an ultra trail... Have decided that this year is the final season that I will do fantasy football, and have told my league that. I doubt they will be upset, but I have been doing it for 7 years, ever since I injured my shoulder the first time playing football and I saw it as a way to still be involved. I think it has achieved its aim, done its course, but it is time for me to jettison it and continue to move onward and upwards. I don't have the time to dedicate to it anymore, I have only made the playoffs once in that time span, and I will be moving next year for the job that I got so it's all pointing towards something that I need to move on from while I still have the chance to remember it as a great phase of my life. The next target on my horizon is a PhD anyway, so maybe it is my sub conscious telling me I need to cut more fat from my calendar so I can make room for it. Speaking of which, I need to sit down and map out the hours of my week and what I want to use them for, as I feel like my productivity has slipped a little from watching a bit too much youtube lately. Battleplan for Today 1. Make 2 contributions to the online debate. Slipped yesterday by not doing this in the morning so need to rectify ASAP. 2. Identify a window in my calendar to take a mini vacation with the family. I am overdue for one and I think it would help at work if I could reset a little. 3. Find a training program to see if it is feasible to condition my body in time for the ultra trail. Grateful corner Mates at work that have patience for me and my personal vendettas I seem to still keep harboring. I like to think that they have patience for me as I have changed my temperament over the last two years (and increased the change in the last 100 days), but I don't know how long it will last if I keep making these vendettas with the system personal. I need to rather than getting angry at roadblocks and throwing my arms in the air, use my passion and initiative to come up with a new plan around it. While reflecting on this last night I came up with a proposal for my boss to allow me more autonomy and avoid a barrier that I keep having, I am enthusiastic that he will agree and I will get some momentum on other aspects of the job that I could work out ways around.

Sep 11 is only going to gain even more significance for you mate! I am super pumped for you that you've made this monumental shift when you're only 29. So much potential still ahead of you. They say you're in your running prime in your 30s, so maybe you'll start meeting me out on the track for some virtual races? I am glad at least you are not taking the 'moderation' (until you decide on a better word) so lightly and are thinking about it so much. Like Cam and the Minimalists say, life should be about intent, and if you go back into gaming with the right intent, then you're at least approaching from a new angle after the detox. I think the majority of the reason why people will tell you not to go down that path is because it is littered with failures, like I have said on your journal previously. I know for example I can't see myself going back to playing in moderation at all, because I don't think I can, which is a mindset shared by many others. I haven't ruled out the possibility of multiplayer and have 'allowed' my mind to be ready for multiplayer offers from my colleagues, but it still has large amounts of preoccupation that follows which I really hate.

04 Sep 17 Days to go: 224 I feel like a million dollars today. Well, what I assume a million dollars feels like as I would have no idea, since I have never seen, felt, or had a million dollars. But anyway I feel great. Yesterday was Father's Day down here in Australia, so it was an action packed weekend. On Saturday my family went to this cool petting farm where you feed all the animals and pet lots of goats and sheep etc. My son went absolutely bananas and was chasing baby goats and hugging them to the ground. Funny little guy. Then yesterday, on Sunday, I participated in the Warrior's Father's Day Fun Run. This was a 10km run around the park here. I entered because I need to build evidence about my speed ready for being eligible for the faster groups in these races. It seems that the speed needed for the next group up is consistently 5:30min/km, so I set the goal of finishing the run in 55minutes. I managed to complete it in 51 minutes, so I was really happy with that, but boy it was hard. I assume because I am still battling the flu, but the first 5km was so painful, and the only way I managed to keep my speed (apart from reminding myself of the speed target) was I was overtaken by two attractive women.... who I followed until the end. Hey whatever works, right? My last online debate is over for my studies, and I think it went well. I had 30 debate points versus my opponent's 10. I don't think that is a gauge of quality, as my opponent was very intelligent, but at least I was more involved, which should do well for my marks. Now just to refine all my points and address the counter arguments, and submit. Front loading my assessments was definitely a good idea, even though I felt stressed uncomfortable from time to time. And finally, I feel a lot better from the flu. It's not longer clogging my head or in my throat. I still have a wet cough, which kept me up for a few hours last night, but I am definitely on the mend. So, here I am. As I mentioned in my last couple of posts, I have been searching/reflecting on what direction I want to take this journal lately, to get a new target. I think, thanks to @Mettermrck's journal, I need to shift my posts from what I have been achieving or doing in the last day, to what I want to achieve in the next day. I am not saying I wont talk about what I have been doing lately, it still has a place if I have some mind pretzels (although I solve the majority of these now by running), but I will use it to shape my plans for the next day. Essentially a format in between my first 20-odd days posts and what I have now. I think that will help me to stay journalling, and form a battle plan for each day that will make me more productive. Identify what needs to be prioritised and what is not as important to feel more accomplished every day, which is what I have learnt from my fandangled to do list/notebook. Battleplan for Today 1. Switch phone companies so my account does not auto renew. 2. Read 1 academic article and contribute to the next group's online debate. 3. Cook something new for dinner. Grateful corner The parklands that are not far from my house. I don't really spend any time in them, but I really should, as the run yesterday showed me. Such a great spot and so much room for activities. Parking is free and it is a real family friendly atmosphere. As the endless push to be more and more urbanised builds momentum, these kind of spaces are going to be at a premium, unless I move out of the city! They have these cool bikes you can hire where the kids sit on the front and the parents sit on the back and pedal, I think I am going to head back there next weekend and give one a try to see if my son likes it.

How much fun was collecting cards. Maybe we should do that instead @CG EYE! I used to have a massive football card collection when I finally got a job and had money, no idea where it is now though, lost to the ether.

Just because you didn't go to the actual church, Little Pete, doesn't mean you can't go through the process of worship. Be creative at home. It's all about intent brother!

The latest podcast of the Inquiry talks about when you're playing games, you're in this limbo. While you are consuming content, you're not advancing at all, you're not learning, you're not training, you're not developing, you're just in stasis. This is exactly what you are talking about. Now that you're not gaming, focus on living in the moment. You'll find your patience will develop quickly with this, as you are enjoying the moment rather than looking at everything as a distractor or people as slowing you down from getting back to your games. I thoroughly enjoy just spending time in the moment now, whether that is standing in a queue taking in my surroundings or just spending time with my family with no hidden agenda.

Do some research on the Miracle Morning. I think that will help. Brianna is also on the latest Gamequitters podcast. I find if you wake up in the morning and start being productive or constructive straight away instead of watching TV or looking at facebook then you will have a far better day. For example, for you it might be get out of bed as soon as your alarm goes off, and go straight to the gym without any distractions. Do not pass go, do not collect 200, just wake up and all you do is get yourself ready for the gym and go.

365 days is the next target Bob. We can do this together! I am hesitant about dropping the journal, as so many productivity 'gurus' have said it is such a good idea. I think, just like me, you need to reshape the focus of it. Maybe rather than talking about your battle with overcoming gaming, we start writing about our goals and start looking ahead to the next day instead? Or, you keep it the way you have it and expand upon your battle with fast food. Either way man, tomorrow is going to be huge. I'll chill some wine to celebrate with you

Welcome mate! You've taken the first step which is important!

02 Sep 17 Days to go: 226 Been an action packed 4 days. Definitely not wasting any time right now, so I feel pretty happy with where I am right now. I wonder how much of that is hitting study first thing in the morning as soon as I wake up and put up a minimum of 400 words into the online debate, so then when I start getting ready for the day and for work I already feel accomplished. Part of it also could be I think I have really incorporated my to do list into my routine and no longer let my inbox rule my work schedule. Seriously, I think one of the main contributing factors to why people feel like the work day ends and they didn't achieve anything or what they wanted to do, is allowing themselves to be a slave to their inbox. It is a to do list that anyone can write on. Prioritisation is the key, not everyone needs to be responded to immediately or actioned immediately. This can be extended to people being addicted to their phones, not every message or call needs to be responded to immediately. It can wait. I have finally started to come out the other side of this flu. It really slowed my training down for the marathon so I am a bit concerned about my fitness, especially noting that it is only 15 days away and I have only done one 30km run. But, it's too late to back out now. I ran yesterday for only 30 minutes to try and rebuild the habit of running every day, and ended up having a really good time (5:55min/km). Someone at work mentioned there is a father's day run tomorrow not far from my house so I registered for that (10km) and I intend running as fast as I can in it. From that there will only be about 4 more runs before I just rest for the marathon. I think, all things considering, my sickness, studies, work, family, that I have prepared as best as I could. Gosh I have such a love for running now! I am now actively scouring events all around Australia that I can get involved in, which will encourage me to travel more. And get me more shiny medals for my wall I think I need a new direction for this journal. As I have lowered its priority in the short term, I have started pondering what I want to achieve out of this journal, and if it can't be achieved in other, quicker ways. The end result has been my motivation to post has lowered a bit, I still have been reading everyone else's journals when I can, but I am struggling to work out what I want to use the journal for going forward. Maybe it is just a more solid reshaping of my goals is needed after now going past ~140 days of no gaming, which is to be expected. What motivated me to go down this personal development path might not be the same now, and a lot of water has gone under the bridge between now and then. I do have some reflection tasks given to me by @Cam and some other members of the Squad, so maybe that will be my start point. Grateful corner This community. Reading people's journals and comments and taking aspects of each of them to improve myself has resulted in some serious gains in personal development. I had to stop myself smiling so much yesterday afternoon when a few people at work were getting emotional about some issues and I simply remained calm and defused the situation. I doubt I would have been able to do that 141 days ago. Now if only I can defeat anxiety....

I yam what I yam! I think everyone has their vices @Mettermrck, we have just become aware of ours through the detox process rather than a struggle. I am aware I naturally love to do activities for instant gratification rather than productive ones that will pay dividends in the future. I'm addicted on the rush of personal development now and that's the new feedback loop for me - very similar to you and the gains you are seeing in the gym. The happiness that you get from seeing those improvements makes you realise, why would I want to do anything that does not contribute to this process? Gaming does not contribute. In any way, shape or form.

@Moegli, these forums are peppered with people who tried moderation and it hasn't worked. We all go through those thoughts, trying to rationalize it to ourselves on why we could go back to gaming, especially at the 90 day mark. The reality is it isn't going to work out for us. The fact we have ended up on a website called GameQuitters, in a community full of fellow digital addicts, means that no matter how addicted we think we are (or aren't), moderation is not a skill we have. If you are a binge addict, what is stopping you from "only" gaming for 15 minutes, then 30 minutes, then 60 minutes, then suddenly you are back to square one? Why not use the binging quality to your advantage in other areas, maybe a hobby that you can do with your family, is more social, or generates income. Rather than meeting up with mates to play a game, why not meet up with them early in the morning to discuss news, politics, spots, or just simply have a coffee and complain about how the world is doing it the wrong way? I think you're a real success story on here mate, one that students over the globe can look to on how to turn their life around from being on the verge of being expelled/removed from course to being on the President's list by changing your environment and refocusing your life. We would love to see it continue!