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Dear my future self, all I do today is for taking care of you.


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Dear my future-self, I know Game Quitters since 2020 and I already took actions several time and sadly I'm still being addicted to gaming after few weeks. This loop won't stop if I am not doing anything. The biggest challenge I have done is quitting Honkai Impact 3 2 months ago, now I am ready for another new silent war.

I wish you the best in the future, my dear self, I know this is going to hurt you badly, you would feel so bored, so crazy so insane. But you have to believe me, everything I do today, is for you.

________ 4th of May ________

- Game I'm playing currently : 

1. Kingdom Ran (already deleted yesterday)

2. Kingdom Dash

3. LINE CHEF Usagi

4. Nier Reincarnation (already deleted 3 days ago)

- Social Platform I use to update the news of the games :

1 Twitter (Just deactived half an hour ago from this post)

2. LINE

3. Discord

>> Actions today :

- Delete LINE CHEF Usagi (delayed for 13 minutes)

- Delete Kingdom Ran

- Delete LINE account, no loger backup data for CHEF Usagi game  (delayed for 24 minutes)

- Delete LINE apps (delayed for 24 minutes)

- Delete Tumbr/ Instagram (detox time!)

- Delete QooApp 

<< Confession to myself in future :

Dear you, I know tomorrow you would be "Wtf why did I do that?". I know, currently my mind isn't fresh, I am so sleepy but I have to take this golden time to do something for you. Let me tell you this :

Your eyes get red for weeks, your sight is so blurry. 
-  You get mad and be too strict nowadays just because non-sense ideas popped up inside your head? You make people around you feel sad, life is too short, don't hurt anyone please!

- You don't do your personal work and study either, why? You used to be a person that loves reading book and educate yourself every single second you can. Now, you don't even do anything to expand your knowledge. 

- I know, you will hate me for deleting LINE account, we lost a bunch of special stickers that we get from grinding limited events' rewards. But come on.. please don't be mad, okay?

- I know you love playing CHEF Usagi so badly, because that game is cute right? but you know what, sunshine out there is extremely cute and warm too, shall we go to touch it together? And you love cooking too, cute dishes with good smells, but don't you see you abandon your real meals for too long? Let's buy stuff and make good meals in real life. 

- I failed to delete Kingdom Dash, you love that manga and that main character, you tried so hard to pull him out from gacha, like 16 times right? This is not easy for me to do right now, I will try again tmr.

== Grateful Journal:

Thank you, guys in subreddit r/stopgaming, it really motivates me to stand up again, no matter I have failed how many time. I want to be a better person in future.

Thank you mom, dad, you guys gave birth to me with good health and good eyes, it's my fault if I can't take care of it, I want to live happily from now and being present.

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________ 5th of May ________

- Game I'm playing currently (Tmr I'm going to delete uninstalled apps from the list): 

1. Kingdom Dash

- Social Platform I use to update the news of the games :

1 Twitter (Just deactived half an hour ago from this post)

2. LINE (Deactived account)

3. Discord (Deactived account)

>> Actions today :

- Delete Discord

> Morning

After waking up, I tried my best to not think about gaming. I spent time to learn how to build a website. Then I cook lunch meals. Everything was going very well. 

After finishing dishes, I went to play game for 10 minutes as personal reward.

I decided I should be more serious by deleting Discord ! I was delaying by an hour because I would lose friends in discord but well, finally I took a deep breath and do it without thinking.

>Afternoon

I worked again, to build my website. Absolutely no gaming for whole few hours. 

I didn't stick with my smartphone during the meal but my laptop to code few things, I really enjoyed the dinner tho.

>Night

I checked the game for 7 minutes then went to read book and work on my laptop again by forcing myself to put my tablet down. I went to other room.

However I did scroll Reddit for more than 1 hour before bed because I was so bored.

__________________________________________

Total time of playing game : 17 minutes

__________________________________________

== Grateful Journal:

Thank you mom, dad. You gave birth to me healthily, which allows me to pursue my dream goals. Now everything is only based on my self-disciplined. 

Thank you my self, yesterday you did such a wonderful job. I am appreciated, tomorrow, I will even do better than this!

TMR I will reduce the gaming time to only 15 minutes and no gaming before 11 A.M. as well as after 7 P.M.

 

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________ 7th of May ________

- Game I'm playing currently:   Kingdom Dash

- Social Platform I use to update the news of the games : None

I skipped the 6th of May because I was too nervous and just binge-playing so many randomly games I can from the store. Thankfully my stress was gone yesterday and I gained my control back.

>> Actions today :

> Morning

Absolutely no gaming, was too happy due to my best result of studying progress. So I spent the whole morning to work and celebrate myself.

>Afternoon

I worked again, still in happy mood and was daydreaming about my future goals so no game as well.

>Night

I noticed I didn't play the game today so just login for few mins to receive daily rewards!

__________________________________________

Total time of playing game :  6 minutes

__________________________________________

== Grateful Journal:

Thank you mom and dad. I will try my best to achieve my dream!

Thank you so much my dear self, what a long way you have made alone. You overcame your fear, you decided to move on gaming and many other bad habits, to be the real you. Together me and you, we will see even more beautiful things around us. Being present is the keyword, not being online.

I guess getting rid of gaming addiction this time is easy with me eh.... I already made it under 10 minutes just in few days... but war is war, no matter where it happens and how much damage it causes. Do your best tomorrow!

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________ 8th of May ________

- Game I'm playing currently:   Kingdom Dash  I finally delete this !! ...but I downloaded another cooking game ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ , Ramen chain

- Social Platform I use to update the news of the games : None

>> Actions today :

> Morning

After thinking for whole morning, before lunch, I decided to log in to get today daily rewards and deleted the game. Thanks to dopamine level finally got low this time.

I didn't do anything today, feeling so sloppy.

I ate hot mixture of oatmeal and creal and a bunch of banana slices with watermelon this morning. 

>Afternoon

I got bored and I didn't want to come back to Kingdom Dash game so I just scrolled and downloaded a random game in Google play store named Ramen chain and binge playing for 1 hours 16 mins. I am so addicted to cook something! The feeling of making amazing food with special ingredients to serve people and receive happy smiles back is just too good!

>Night

I didn't do anything today. I don't want to touch anything except Ramen chain. 

__________________________________________

Total time of playing game :  4 hours 56 minutes 

__________________________________________

== Grateful Journal :

Thank you myself... you finally say goodbye to that manga and Kingdom Dash. But now you are playing Ramen chain like hell. You didn't even have any plans to do. 

Please don't oversleep on your early victory!!!!!

___ Missions tomorrow:

[    ] Study Japanese for at least 1 hour 30 mins

[    ] Pratice Piano back at night after coming home

[    ] Focus on your website, what else to improve?
[    ] Make a serious plan for the project, I have been delaying it for too long!!

[    ] Keep up with the healthy breakfast like today!

[    ] OK! Don't download any extra cooking games I beg you! You can play Ramen chain, but don't put more pressure on me please!!! (´;︵;`)

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15 hours ago, Theresa said:

Welcome @cham0mil5! I look forward to hearing more about your journey. What is this dream you have? 

Thank you so much ! I want to have a professional website for myself and become a trilingual (at least), currently my English isn't perfect yet, It will take a lot of time. I just love the way people can communicate by more than 2 foreign languages fluently.  (ノ*゜▽゜*)

Edited by cham0mil5
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1 hour ago, Rudianos said:

What's your mother tongue, @cham0mil5? By the way, I strongly recommend taking Cambridge English exams because their diplomas don't expire.

I come from Vietnam, I already took the IELTS test (International English Language Testing System) last month but it will be expired after 2 years. Ahaha I took the one of Cambridge English exams and it's the only one will be expired by the time follows. After reading your comment I just notice that. Thank you for caring about my goals!

Edited by cham0mil5
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________ 9th of May ________

I got sick, did nothing, what a bad day ever. I hardly could breathe for the whole day. Finally my healthy got better in the evening, was worried about getting Covid.

Total time of playing game :  36 minutes.

________ 10th of May ________

- Game I'm playing currently:   Ramen Chain

- Social media platforms (all, not only about game anymore) : Reddit, Whatsapp, Zalo, Youtube.

>> Actions today :

> Morning

My health isn't fully recovered yet, woke up at 4 A.M. However I didn't complain, there is no time for negative thoughts. I took this chance and prepared oatmeal with egg and banana breakfast. It was very good. So basically I can make good meals without playing cooking games. This is 2nd day of healthy breakfast streak.

The rest of the time I didn't touch the game as well, wasn't in good mood. I did spend time to study Japanese in noon, my head was burnt like hell. 

>Afternoon

My health was better. After taking a rest for 1 hour, I decided today would be the first day I do "Digital Detox Night" so I would upload the journal in afternoon. And the actions of evening would be no need to be reported cuz.. I don't use any devices..? However I changed my mind. I'm going to use laptop only, to study some specific subjects. I already block all social media sites for 3 days, unable to unblock before the day. Actually I don't have any problem with doing digital detox, I rarely check them. But so long time I didn't do this, well, this is a better start. Next post will be uploaded with new form :  Last night - Morning - Afternoon.

I finished my meal before 6 P.M. , vegetable with boiled eggs, 2 pieces of pork and soy sauce. Another healthy meal after so longgg time. I have to be healthy to work and study. I love studying, how can I do this if I keep putting detrimental food into my stomach?

__________________________________________

Total time of playing game :  0 minute.

__________________________________________

== Grateful Journal :

Thank you myself for taking back the baby steps today, 2 days constantly studying Japanese, what else I could say? Bravooo!! Do you feel headache? Do you feel so bored? Keep it up, ignore those stupid feelings, remember your last victory was made by you! You did study like hell! Yesss! Hard work pays off!!!

___ Streak

Study JP : 2 days

Practice Piano : 1 day

Mediation : 0 day

Hot tea : 1 day

Project : 1 day

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________ 11th of May ________

- Game I'm playing currently:  None

- Social media platforms (all, not only about game anymore) : Reddit, Whatsapp, Zalo, Youtube.

>> Actions today :

> Last night

After every thing else is done, I talked to a senpai for a while before going to study Japanese and practice piano. I have found an app for studying, it helps users to count the time with lovely UI designs! Last night was amazing before midnight, I felt hard to breathe again, all I did from 0 to 2 A.M. was sitting and binge watching Youtube before I could be able to sleep back.

I made hot herbal tea, but the situation didn't get better.

> Morning

I woke up at 7 A.M., I didn't hear the sound of 4 A.M., I felt pretty bad and urgent to play games. However I successfully stopped myself to do that.

Breakfast with oatmeal + banana again, this times I used mashed banana as "sugar" part for my breakfast, and few more slides on the top with honey. It was very yummy! I love honey! After working for a while, I cooked lunch with tofu and beef. Now I enjoy cooking in reality than in games.

>Afternoon

I thought about what to cook in dinner, I did touch my tablet for several times, sadly this time instead of enjoying the present, I used social media on my tablet to discuss with friends about how useful books are. At least I didn't play games though!

Dinner ended up with potatoes, carrots, garlic and spring onion with 3 slide of pork. Am I too strict to myself?

__________________________________________

Total time of playing game :  0 minute but felt like I was almost losing my mind!

__________________________________________

== Grateful Journal :

Thank you mom, dad, grandparents, teachers and friends. Just feeling to say so even some of them doesn't really take part in my life. I am enjoying the moment of present with essential oil diffuser, I love the smell of sweet orange oil, a cup of hot herbal tea, everything is so calm and peaceful... I just love this moment than noisy world... Time to study though! Oh wait, I started to notice I am enjoying the present than when I played HI3, LOL, Ragnarok and Cooking games like hell!

___ Streak

Study JP : 3 days (+1)

Practice Piano : 2 days (+1)

Mediation : 1 day (+1)

Hot tea : 2 days (+1)

Project : 1 days (+0)

Edited by cham0mil5
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________ 12th of May ________

- Game I'm playing currently:  None

- Social media platforms (all, not only about game anymore) : Reddit, Whatsapp, Zalo, Youtube.

>> Actions today :

> Last night

Studied JPN like hell. Went to sleep at 2 A.M., was overthinking and stressed myself about dumb stupid things.

> Morning

I woke up at 6 A.M.

Breakfast with oatmeal + banana again, I wonder if they put heroin in there, it's unstoppable to eat !  Went out for few things, Covid in here is getting worst, was scared af when going out. 

>Afternoon

I slept like a pig, was to tired, woke up after an hour and did my work then playing game like hell for the rest of afternoon, I ate dumb foI thought about what to cook in dinner.

__________________________________________

Total time of playing game :  1 hour

__________________________________________

== Grateful Journal :

Thank you government, I know you are trying so hard to keep our country peaceful and be ready with the next silent war - 2nd round of Covid Attack!

The street today was so empty, wish everyone the best, stay safe!

___ Streak

Study JP : 4 days (+1)

Practice Piano : 2 days (+0)

Mediation : 1 day (+0)

Hot tea : 3 days (+1)

Project : 1 days (+0)

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