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A new try 2021-02-12, one day at a time


wazzapp
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I got work to do, fun work, still im stuck playing Bloons TD on my computer, what am i doing srs
time to uninstall again

uninstalling for the 4th time.... healthy? i think not.

Talk about messing things up for myself, gaming and getting a headache, not even (that) fun.... destructive tendencies


Instead i could do something productive, gym, socialize, work, study flight license, all these things I value, but no, caught by a game that is about monkeys destroying baloons. 30 y.o. man, like dafuq. This is far past due. 

Uninstalled now, time to relax a bit, buy energy drink, and then go on with todays task-list

Edited by wazzapp
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Day 2

Getting dressed, ready to go to office. Going to work and relax, drink coffee. 

I pray that i will not play games today.

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Day 3

New day. I pray i will not play games today.

Finishing some work before monday. Also want to have nice dinner with GF for valentines day

 

Wish u all a great day ❤️

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Day 4

My brother bought an xbox and wants to play with me online. I probably cant refuse playing with him a bit.

I pray i will not get stuck in these destructive behaviours.

Wish u all a great day ❤️

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Day 5

New day were i pray i will not play games. I want to stay in the real world experience the things around me.

I want peace of mind, serenity, and productivity. Thanks for letting me keeping a journal here. 

Wish u a great day ❤️

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On 2/15/2021 at 7:07 AM, wazzapp said:

My brother bought an xbox and wants to play with me online. I probably cant refuse playing with him a bit.

Hey, 

I know you played a bit with your brother, but if this ever comes up again in the future, try telling him that you are taking a break from video games, and explain why. If he gets defensive or questions why you would do such a thing, what I would do in your situation is tell him that I want to do other activities (like painting, or writing or coding) and gaming was getting in the way of that (say it nicer than that obviously).

Keep on praying, God will have your back the whole way. 
 

Best 

Jason

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Day 6

Thanks for your reply Jason. So far I haven't played with him (yet). I know even "friendly playing" easily turns into compulsion and isolation for me. I will try to stay away.

 

New day new posibilities. I will try to stay present and stay off games, experience this day ❤️

 

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Day 8

Thanks for letting me keeping a journal here. I know it is not the most detailed but it helps me stay clean.

Today i will try to relax, not work too much. Also i will do my best to stay off games today, one day at a time.

 

Wish u a great friday! Stay clean with me ❤️

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Day 9

 

Still staying clean, one day at a time. I will work a bit and bond with gf today. 

A few weeks ago i saw my gf crying because of me playing too much. I quit that day but relapsed later. not even her tears helped me stay clean. i want to stay clean.

Edited by wazzapp
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Day 10

 

Still staying clean.

 

My new focus will be:
- Working & investing
- Gym
- Flight license
- Meditation and spiritual work

But, im human. I can't become perfect over night. One thing at a time

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Day 12

 

New day staying clean ❤️

 

In the morning I always watch new and read news. Usually it is a fun way to start the morning, together with some coffee and breakfast.

However, sometimes the news make me upset af. My mind starts racing and i think angry thoughts. Especially if the news are about increasing taxes XD this happened today, and I lose much of my ability to concentrate on work when im upset. I need to be calm to work effectively.

Maybe it would be better for me to just stop watching news. Most of the times i enjoy it but sometimes, like today, it F me up.

 

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Day 13

New day without games.

I'm happy that we are taking this journey, becoming better versions of ourselves. Anyone can fall into addiction, but we admit this to ourselfs and try to build ❤️

 

Wish u a great day ❤️

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Day 14

New day without playing games.

Praying for serenity and productivity. Day is going good, getting work done.

Wish u a great day ❤️

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Day 15

Still not playing games, thankfully.

I try to reply to posts on reddit everyday. Not giving too much advice, just thanking them for sharing and asking questions. Problem with reddit is that we dont know what happens to the people who decide to quit. Do they relapse? I want to stay in touch. 

 

Wish u a great day ❤️

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6 hours ago, wazzapp said:

Day 15

Still not playing games, thankfully.

I try to reply to posts on reddit everyday. Not giving too much advice, just thanking them for sharing and asking questions. Problem with reddit is that we dont know what happens to the people who decide to quit. Do they relapse? I want to stay in touch. 

 

Wish u a great day ❤️

Yes, that's why I honestly don't go to reddit's gamequitters- too unreliable of a platform. And honestly reddit is incredibly gaming-centered, so just being on reddit draws me into games more, so I tend to avoid it lol.

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Thanks for your reply Pochatok ❤️

 

Day 17

Still not playing games ❤️

I joined a CGAA meeting today, gotta do more of that, was amazing.

Lots of work today ❤️

Wish u a great day ❤️

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Day 18

 

Being productive at work, working towards my goals.

CGAA meeting yesterday was amazing, i will go for another one today.

Wish u all a great day ❤️

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Day 19

New day without playing games, working towards my goals while trying to keep balance ❤️

I'm not perfect, i cant change everything overnight, BUT i will not play games today. 

 

Wish u all a great day ❤️

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Day 21

 

Coming up on 1 month soon, i hope 🙂 ❤️

New day not playing games. 

I wish the best for you all ❤️

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Posted (edited)

Day 24

 

Hello friends, still not playing games, staying clean ❤️

After my 1 month mark i think it is time to quit twitch and gaming videos on youtube as well. It would be awesome to be free from this whole thing all together.

One thing at a time. Im not perfect, i can't change overnight. 

Wish u all a great day ❤️

Edit: i will try to stay clean from gaming videos from today. No reason to wait

Edited by wazzapp
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Day 26

Hey friends! Staying clean from playing games today. Didn't manage to stay away from streams on twitch, but i will try to forgive myself for that.

 

I hope you are having a good day ❤️

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Day 27

Hello friends ❤️ happy to not be playing games today.

Yesterday i bought some board games in case friends are coming over and want to "game" 🙂 gotta be smart eh? ;D

Wish you all a great day ❤️

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Posted (edited)

Terraforming mars, Betrayal at house hill, and Arkham horror. Espacially looking forward to Betrayal at house hill since we are 3 ppl right now and it seems quite easy for beginners 🙂

Day 1

New try. Gamed some x-box with my friend and his fiance as they are visiting. I don't feel so bad about it, maybe I'm not right for this forum. Just some casual gaming with friends and no compulsive tendencies. 

However, it counts as a relapse. I can't make wierd rules like "gaming on xbox multiplayer with friends who are in the same room is not a relapse". Unnecessarily complicated. 

I am a gaming addict though, or at least have problem with compulsive gaming. It goes bad everytime i re-install. I've had migrane headaches, skipped eating, skipped hygene, skipped work, skipped school, played 14hrs per day e.t.c. because of my addiction. 

Wish u all a great day ❤️

Edited by wazzapp
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Those are pretty serious symptoms you're describing. If you get like that then maybe abstinence is the only way to help yourself live a normalish life. I find life is really difficult even off games and substances but on games and substances it's nearly impossible. Definitely more difficult. And even less enjoyable because you don't have as much self control and feel like you can't like trust yourself to follow through on things because you're just going to get sucked into the gaming again and blow everything off. Good luck.

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