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A new chapter in my life.


Julon
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1 hour ago, Alexanderle said:

The question I have: How is gaming interfering with your life. What kind of things do you feel are you missing, when you were gaming? Can you describe that?

Well, I‘m missing social contacts. It is hard to find the right friends,  when you are known  for nothing / have nothing to talk about. The last 6 years are like a black hole, I have no special memories, the only memory I have, is me sitting in my dark room the whole day. I would love to be passionate about more hobbies and skills but gaming is pretty much the only  skill/ hobby I have/had. For me It is about finding a new Purpose in my life.

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@Julon That is something, I can relate to. It was also something, I was struggling with during my online dating attempts - like what could I possibly talk about? I am just a gamer. And even when another girl would be a gamer as well, all we could talk about, was to say which kind of games we both liked and did not like. So yeah, sure your goal should be to find new interests and passions so that you have something to talk about AND something to give yourself and your life some meaning. 

The question is: What might that be? If it is just something that is dependent on the outside world, which you could only pursue within associations, clubs or maybe the gym? That might not be an option right now. So the best thing that you should do now, is to consider: What is it that I can do RIGHT NOW? Normally, our mind as well as our surroundings already give us indications, what we should or could do. We often think about our environment as us (the subject) and objects. But that is not true. It is more like us, the subject and tools. Everything has some kind of purpuse and value or is hindering us. This can already start with your environment, specifically your appartment. A pile of paper on your desk is not just a pile of paper, but it is talking to you: It can be a reminder that you are lazy right now or that there is still some work, you should do. Some dirt on the floor indicates that you should clean your room AND/OR that you are not a very clean person. And you obviously evaluate those things with good/bad categories. And those things then are proving something to you and your identity. People for instance don't get depressed, just because they don't have a very functioning social cycle. Some of them are also jobless, sleep all day, have no daily schedule and purposes or goals to attend. They also might have trouble to clean up their appartment. All those things increase the chaos in our head and can become very negative experiences for us. 

What I want to say is that there are many things, which you can start to focus on for now. A depression, I just use it as an example here, nothing more, is often so dangerous, because we are trying to make progress in one area of our life, but are pulled back by another "suffering" one. So, focusing on other things and optimizing them could not only give you some kind of positive feelings, but also create some momentum for the time after Corona to attend your social life. Again, focus on what you can do right now for the moment.

 

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Day 4

Not a good or a bad day.I learned math for about 3 hours, but I could‘t keep myself from watching 1h of youtube afterwards. But since I was able to stop myself I‘m not going to start from day 1 again... In the evening I had a 1 1/2 hour workout at home ( Getting motivation is actually kind of hard when you are not in the gym). I still have many urges to play, especially in the evening, hopefully these cravings disappear soon.

@Alexanderle You are good at writing,   For me it‘s really not that easy to express my feelings/ thoughts through text. Anyways, I‘m actually exactly aiming for, what you have described. I want to use all this free time to improve myself, maybe not socially, but in all other  sorts of aspects.Usually the slightest bit of stress in my life brings me back to my old habbit of gaming / browsing to escape from any responsabilities .  So now that I don‘t have anything to do, it‘s the perfect time to take action right now and I have no reason to procrastinate. I try as many things as possible, and maybe I‘ll find the right thing for me.

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@Julon thx

but I just want to add one thing: It is not the end of the world to watch some youtube or a series. I think it is important how it makes you feel. There is a difference for me between watching a series I enjoyed and intended to watch and watching a video, just because the youtube algorithm recommended it. So keep in mind to also give you room to breath. 🙂

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7 hours ago, Alexanderle said:

@Julon thx

but I just want to add one thing: It is not the end of the world to watch some youtube or a series. I think it is important how it makes you feel. There is a difference for me between watching a series I enjoyed and intended to watch and watching a video, just because the youtube algorithm recommended it. So keep in mind to also give you room to breath. 🙂

Yeah I've noticed a difference in how I watch YouTube now too. I actually use the "watch later" feature and have a long list of things that genuinely interest me and that could teach me something rather than going down the bottomless rabbit hole of gaming videos.

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I can really identify with how you feel like the past 6 years were a black hole of gaming everyday. I feel like that's how my life was for over a decade. I started binge gaming in high school. It's good that we're here now. Keep writing your journal everyday even if it's not much. It can make a difference in your life over time and help you quit gaming to live a better life.

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Day 5

I can already feel the addiction slowly creeping up on me. My productivity is really going down. Did watch yt for a short period time again in the evening,  but then switched to one episode of a series, series and movies are somehow less addicting to me, it‘s not that hard to stop.
But what really annoys me at the momment, is waking up late. My alarm  clock is set to 8 am but I simply can‘t wake up that early if there is no appointment for me or something like that. A good start in the day would really help. But I‘m always too tired.

 

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Day 6

Today was great. Directly after breakfast  I did a 1 1/2 h workout, that gave me much more motivation for the day. Went outside For almost the whole day and read half a book. Should of learned a bit more  though, but I‘ll keep that for tomorrow I guess.

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On 4/9/2020 at 5:41 PM, Alexanderle said:

@Julon That is something, I can relate to. It was also something, I was struggling with during my online dating attempts - like what could I possibly talk about? I am just a gamer. And even when another girl would be a gamer as well, all we could talk about, was to say which kind of games we both liked and did not like. So yeah, sure your goal should be to find new interests and passions so that you have something to talk about AND something to give yourself and your life some meaning. 

 

 

Alexander, you are the standard holder. You go out and light up the spirits of men in distant corners of the world. 

With this attitude, I think you are going to develop much faster, just don’t give in to weakness, its a real downer for the rest of us.

Stay on the books and journal. You may well give an example of a lightning war.

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The last two days where not that successful.
Day 7

yesterday I didn‘t do much except going outside for a bit. In the evening couldn‘t resist to watch a good amount of youtube videos though :/

Day 8

Today i wanted to start off with a workout, but i was simply too lazy, the only thing i did, was finish my book and later cook for a bit. But also wasted a good amount of time in the evening watching TV.

 

 

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11 hours ago, Julon said:

the only thing i did, was finish my book and later cook for a bit. But also wasted a good amount of time in the evening watching TV.

Isn't that something valuable? Aiming for 100 percent, so basically being perfect for a whole day is very difficult. It is like going for your absolute maximum in the gym: Maybe you can do it here and then, but it is not healthy. Constantly getting SOMETHING done is far more better. But try to built on your successes of today and get a little bit more done tomorrow. Do you really think that you were that lazy?

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Day 9

Today was better, I started my day off with a workout and then went outside and listened to some music. Also reduced the time I was on my phone by alot. In the evening I learned a bit of  math. But I went to bed pretty late.  That’s something I really wanna change now. Going to bed late, can really make you feel miserable the next day, so the start is already ruined. 
 

@Alexanderle That is true, it‘s definitely better than normal, but there is still room to improve.

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Day 10

It took me a long time to see the progress that I really made, even though I still relapse sometimes, it usually takes me about 4 days to quit again. A year ago it took me about 2 months to even realize that this is a problem and I need to quit. Now I instantly feel guilty when I touch a game/ watch videos. 
 

Today I watched some videos in the morning and that bad feeling made  it easier to stop for me. Didn‘t do that much today though, except some learning for school. I usually forget the productive things I wanted to do, so I’m now making a checklist for each day( on paper, to avoid my phone.).

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Day 11

Feeling good today.  Much more rewarding in the evening, when you actually were productive. I learned for school for almost 4 hours and avoided my phone as much as i could. In the evening I had a workout and then finished my day off with one episode of a series. Even though I avoid my phone as much as i can, i still feel I’m using it too much for entertainment. So now I ordered a few books, to prevent me from that. 

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Day 12

Did not went that well today. A friend of mine invited me to watch a series together. didn‘t do many productive things today then... I only read a bit and cooked a risotto for my family.  Gonna go early to bed today to start off tomorrow a bit better.

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Day 13

Stayed inside for most if the Day. I did a good workout in the morning and then I was really  tired. The only other “productive“ thing I did, was reading about 150 Pages in my book. I‘m still struggling to do really productive stuff like learning for school, I usually get soo distracted by other thoughts  and tired when I try to start.

 

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Day 14/15

Last two days I spent most of the time reading. I went outside to do that, to get away from my phone as far as possible. Yesterday I also tried jogging, but I felt pain in my legs so I‘m going to stick to my workout I do 3 times a week. Maybe cycling is also a good alternative for cardio.

Still have to work on my productivity though. Learning during this pandemic is really  not the easiest thing.

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Day 16

I feel really down at the moment. Motivation isn‘t there and I‘m too much on my phone. Didn‘t do anything productive today, was just laying around the whole day being lazy af. And every time I‘m not distracted I get cravings for games ( luckily I deleted all of my accounts, otherwise I would start gaming again tbh.)  Would be much easier if I didn’t have to learn for school, the  cravings almost always come while learning (trying to learn fits better most of the times).

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Day 17

Watched about 2h of youtube and after that I started learning for  also about 2h. Then went outside for a bit and enjoyed the sun. I avoided watching too much TV and had another workout instead.

Streaks

No gaming:  17 Days

No (useless) videos:0 Days

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40 minutes ago, Alexanderle said:

What do you mean by useless videos?

Pretty much every video I have no direct benefit  from. 
 

 I actually saw a video in which someone explained, that many youtube videos  just make you feel smarter but in the end it‘s just entertainment. By reading a book you have to be really engaged and you are also able to make connections way easier.

But anyways I will propably call it useless browsing from now on, because reddit  and other social media is also way to distracting and there is no benefit.

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I agree.. another frame to look at it from is consuming vs creating. I'm trying to limit (even self development) information unless it serves an actual practical purpose (e.g. a guide to do x). Anyone who has followed self development for awhile already has all the information they need, most of it is actually repetitive. I would suggest an hour with no input would serve a greater good than an hour "learning" on youtube at that point.

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28 minutes ago, Julon said:

Pretty much every video I have no direct benefit  from.

What about laughter, feeling good and having fun? I think once you also consider those, I thing that you are  right. It is ok imo to sometimes watch a fun video on youtube, without being purely objectively useful. The only thing that I think is quite annoying is this stupid youtube algorithm that is presenting me videos, I never had any intention to watch and it basically is trying to force me watch it.

32 minutes ago, Julon said:

But anyways I will propably call it useless browsing from now on,

seems valid to be.

21 minutes ago, Havey said:

I would suggest an hour with no input would serve a greater good than an hour "learning" on youtube at that point.

I mean, it depends. sometimes I still learn a new perspective about something. Especially in psychology, there are always different opinions. There is always something to learn. However I agree that it is also important to sometimes act on it. Many people spend to much time watching, how to improve their life without actually doing anything.

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