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17 hours ago, Redbeancooked said:

Interesting experience you've got there lol. i've got my gf for 4 years and i think i f'got every sense that my brain use to flirt or maybe even just to talk with another girl other than mine.

It's not that i want to, but how do you talk to girls?...

 

15 hours ago, ceponatia said:

@Redbeancooked I don't that's why I use online dating. Lol. Much easier when you can take however long you want to reply!

The bad news is, online dating apps really only get you rid of the approach and the venue you would normally meet at. You still need to be able to hold a normal conversation sometimes for dozens of minutes on end IRL and that is damn difficult. I'm away from dating apps for three months. I can say that the return of investment is incomparable to when I go outside.

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Yeah, I haven't committed to going out and meeting people yet but it's on the agenda. I'm quite good in conversation, I was mostly joking about taking minutes to reply. 😆 Online dating is trash tbh; the women I get messages from I'd never in a million years consider a serious relationship with but I'm not really in a position in my personal life right now to be attractive to the kind of woman I'm interested in. No rush. 

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Last night sucked. I played Assassin's Creed for a couple hours and didn't eat dinner. Blaaaah. Still, I managed to get up an hour early today and hit the gym so I'm on schedule with my gym routine. Checking out a new gym Saturday that has free group fitness classes that look pretty intense (including boxing which I've always wanted to try). Still talking to a few women from online dating apps but my enthusiasm over dating is starting to rapidly fade as I get to know them better. It's not that they're bad people, just not the kind of people I'd want to spend my life with. One of them was hassling me because I was going to bed at 9:30. That would not work for me in a relationship... I love getting up early and getting stuff done.

Anyway, onward and upward.

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Not much to update for the day. Recommitted to QUITTING, did some chores finally, played around in Kontrol, and so on. Ahead of schedule with school for the week and it's my LAST WEEK AS A UNIVERSITY FRESHMAN WOOOOO. Went to the chiropractor yesterday because work has been killing my back these past couple weeks. He damn near gave me an orgasm, lmao. So much relief. One of the cracks was so deep I lost the ability to speak for a second.

Some goals for this weekend:
MEAL PREP / PLAN
Sign up for new gym Saturday (and cancel old one)
Possible date
Ordering a new Korg

Plenty more things I could do, those are just off the top of my head. 

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On 2/13/2020 at 7:36 AM, ceponatia said:

Last night sucked. I played Assassin's Creed for a couple hours and didn't eat dinner. Blaaaah. Still, I managed to get up an hour early today and hit the gym so I'm on schedule with my gym routine. Checking out a new gym Saturday that has free group fitness classes that look pretty intense (including boxing which I've always wanted to try). Still talking to a few women from online dating apps but my enthusiasm over dating is starting to rapidly fade as I get to know them better. It's not that they're bad people, just not the kind of people I'd want to spend my life with. One of them was hassling me because I was going to bed at 9:30. That would not work for me in a relationship... I love getting up early and getting stuff done.

Anyway, onward and upward.

Don't rush dating. It's very demoralizing and hard to find people who share similar values to you. Most of the time I've found that I'm meeting women I enjoy outside of dating sites. There's a girl at work I match 100% with, but she's in a relationship. I know their relationship will end and I'm hanging out with her outside of work doing non-date things to build a foundation with her. When they break up I will have her as my girlfriend. I haven't found people on dating sites at all so that's just my experience.

What made you play games? Were you bored? Lonely? Angry? Hungry? Tired? 

Write down reasons you relapsed. Like today I relapsed with porn because I was bored and tired. I could have taken a nap right away. Instead, I took a nap after relapsing and feel fine.

This is gonna be an iterative process unfortunately. Don't quit. You did the right thing by going to the gym and continuing your wellness route.

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17 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Don't rush dating. It's very demoralizing and hard to find people who share similar values to you. Most of the time I've found that I'm meeting women I enjoy outside of dating sites. There's a girl at work I match 100% with, but she's in a relationship. I know their relationship will end and I'm hanging out with her outside of work doing non-date things to build a foundation with her. When they break up I will have her as my girlfriend. I haven't found people on dating sites at all so that's just my experience.

What made you play games? Were you bored? Lonely? Angry? Hungry? Tired? 

Write down reasons you relapsed. Like today I relapsed with porn because I was bored and tired. I could have taken a nap right away. Instead, I took a nap after relapsing and feel fine.

This is gonna be an iterative process unfortunately. Don't quit. You did the right thing by going to the gym and continuing your wellness route.

Oh I'm never going to give up... even with relapsing I still game waaaaay less than I was a month ago and get much more done. And I agree that trying to rush dating is too much... I'm taking a break. I did go on dates with two women this weekend and they just made me realize that I don't want to date. There were red flags early on in our app conversations but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Nope, these women were trainwrecks. I think that focusing on my own personal life is fine and I will eventually meet people without the aid of these garbage apps (which I keep saying but then I go back to them when I'm bored. I won't this time).

I'll have to pay more attention to why I relapse because the relapse happens way before I even game... it's usually early on in the day while I'm still at work. Kind of like I know what I need to do later in the day and I dread it so I think "meh I'll just game today and do it tomorrow". Always "tomorrow" lol.

------------

Yesterday was alright, actually. Went on one of those two dates (the other was Friday). This one was with a girl I was almost 100% certain I wasn't going to like but I went anyway just to get out of the house and have some social interaction. She was throwing up a lot of red flags during our conversations suggesting she was probably an alcoholic. Turned out to be the case. She was also not even remotely physically attractive and barely spoke so I made an excuse to leave pretty quickly and then blocked her on the app.

Today I'm trying a new meal plan formed by some researchers at Harvard who claim that it gives you all of the vitamins and nutrients you need in a day. You can find it here and it looks pretty bland, I won't lie, but the beauty of it is that it's only 1,100 calories which isn't enough for basically anyone, so you can add meat and other things to it as you like. It'll need some tweaking over the next few days but I bought all of the ingredients listed and it only totaled $80 (could have been less but I splurged on wild caught salmon) which is far less than what I normally spend in a week on food.

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2 minutes ago, ceponatia said:

Oh I'm never going to give up... even with relapsing I still game waaaaay less than I was a month ago and get much more done. And I agree that trying to rush dating is too much... I'm taking a break. I did go on dates with two women this weekend and they just made me realize that I don't want to date. There were red flags early on in our app conversations but I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Nope, these women were trainwrecks. I think that focusing on my own personal life is fine and I will eventually meet people without the aid of these garbage apps (which I keep saying but then I go back to them when I'm bored. I won't this time).

I'll have to pay more attention to why I relapse because the relapse happens way before I even game... it's usually early on in the day while I'm still at work. Kind of like I know what I need to do later in the day and I dread it so I think "meh I'll just game today and do it tomorrow". Always "tomorrow" lol.

------------

Yesterday was alright, actually. Went on one of those two dates (the other was Friday). This one was with a girl I was almost 100% certain I wasn't going to like but I went anyway just to get out of the house and have some social interaction. She was throwing up a lot of red flags during our conversations suggesting she was probably an alcoholic. Turned out to be the case. She was also not even remotely physically attractive and barely spoke so I made an excuse to leave pretty quickly and then blocked her on the app.

Today I'm trying a new meal plan formed by some researchers at Harvard who claim that it gives you all of the vitamins and nutrients you need in a day. You can find it here and it looks pretty bland, I won't lie, but the beauty of it is that it's only 1,100 calories which isn't enough for basically anyone, so you can add meat and other things to it as you like. It'll need some tweaking over the next few days but I bought all of the ingredients listed and it only totaled $80 (could have been less but I splurged on wild caught salmon) which is far less than what I normally spend in a week on food.

I ran into the same issue with dating. I'd give women I normally wouldn't look at the first time a chance because I was lonely. It's not worth lowering your standards for it. The diet seems interesting. Maybe this is something of a foundation to build around and give yourself something to work with.

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24 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:

I ran into the same issue with dating. I'd give women I normally wouldn't look at the first time a chance because I was lonely. It's not worth lowering your standards for it. The diet seems interesting. Maybe this is something of a foundation to build around and give yourself something to work with.

Yeah a bit part of this meal plan will be simply ensuring that I remember to eat every meal. I'm so bad about just eating dinner.

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Hello, welcome to the forums. Just getting 2-3 meals a day can improve your mood so it's good you're working on eating regularly. I didn't like dating apps either. I'm using the loneliness as motivation to try to branch out into different meetups and church. I recommend you find a list of things to distract yourself with when you feel bored. You can use the https://gamequitters.com/quit-gaming-in-college/ guide if you want want to get respawn yet. 

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My next synth arrives today, pretty excited about that. I'm going to have to buy an actual mixer now because my Maschine only has one line-in. Those are fairly expensive but they have a lot of added bonuses. Good ones have microphone preamps built in so I can start recording live sounds. It'll also help me realize my goal of building a totally analog studio without the use of a PC to record and mix on. You can't do as many tricks on fully analog equipment as you can with a PC (not easily, anyway) but it'll go a long way toward helping me learn production.

Deleted all the online dating apps and accounts. Have been very good about my new meal plan so far although today I forgot to bring the pita to put my salad in... I still have the salad. No biggie. I do feel loads better now that I'm eating 3 super healthy meals every day. I wake up earlier than my alarm and have tons of energy. Made it back to the gym this morning before work and did a full workout. 3 personal records, too.

Good day so far.

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On 2/16/2020 at 7:26 PM, Erik2.0 said:

Hello, welcome to the forums. Just getting 2-3 meals a day can improve your mood so it's good you're working on eating regularly. I didn't like dating apps either. I'm using the loneliness as motivation to try to branch out into different meetups and church. I recommend you find a list of things to distract yourself with when you feel bored. You can use the https://gamequitters.com/quit-gaming-in-college/ guide if you want want to get respawn yet. 

Thanks! I'm already a respawn user, that's how I found this forum. Meetups continue to be a good idea I just haven't been able to find any in my area that don't revolve around alcohol or being a 60 year old single woman. Lol

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Korg Volca arrived today. It's fun! I already have tons of ideas for what to do with it but I need some other equipment in order to integrate it into my setup. Still usable to learn from, though.

This diet is amazing so far. I have so much energy I don't even know what to do with it. I crushed work today and now I'm studying my new course and my A+ cert book. Going to cook dinner in a bit and then play some music. Easy night.

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Yesterday was one of the best days of my life, bar none. Just in terms of how much energy, focus, and positivity I had. I already wrote a pretty lengthy post about it on my personal blog so I'll just leave it at that here. Eating better definitely works.

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Had the same results yesterday as the days prior... lots of energy and motivation. I didn't even have to take my third Adderall in the afternoon because I wasn't even remotely tired after work. Despite only being the second day of my school week, I have most of my labs and both quizzes done. I'll be finished well before the weekend and will be able to relax. This is a harder class, it turns out. It's prep for the A+ Certification exam so lots of technical terminology to memorize. I've always been great with computers but didn't know the actual industry names for things like RJ45 connectors and molex ports. Still having trouble confusing DVI and DisplayPort specs but I'll get it down.

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13 hours ago, ceponatia said:

Had the same results yesterday as the days prior... lots of energy and motivation. I didn't even have to take my third Adderall in the afternoon because I wasn't even remotely tired after work. Despite only being the second day of my school week, I have most of my labs and both quizzes done. I'll be finished well before the weekend and will be able to relax. This is a harder class, it turns out. It's prep for the A+ Certification exam so lots of technical terminology to memorize. I've always been great with computers but didn't know the actual industry names for things like RJ45 connectors and molex ports. Still having trouble confusing DVI and DisplayPort specs but I'll get it down.

Seems we're all studying, trying to eat better, and find someone lol. How long have you been taking adderall?

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Became a bit disillusioned with the "stopgaming" community on Reddit lately. For the most part it's just entitled kids who need to stop whining and start doing something with their lives. Very few of them are actually serious about quitting, they just want the rush from getting replies to their posts. Same thing happened when I frequented the alcoholism subs too. The same questions over and over and over. "What could I possibly do besides play video games all day?" Jesus Christ there's an entire world of things to do. But I digress.

I had a great week and the weekend is above average. Saturday I normally cave and game for an hour or two but instead I started learning music theory today; found out I'm pretty good at it, too. I suppose it helps that I've already been writing music for many years so even though I don't know what things are technically called or why they're the way they are, I somewhat know how it all works. Actually studying it has filled my head with ideas though.

Still on my meal plan, feeling great. I've saved so much money thanks to it! I can live off of like $100 a week now including gas to go to work and some snacks. Probably will end up funnelling that money into the studio. Paying off all of my debt with tax refund still, probably said that above but I don't remember. I'm going to have a pretty clean slate in March.

Edited by ceponatia
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3 hours ago, ceponatia said:

Became a bit disillusioned with the "stopgaming" community on Reddit lately. For the most part it's just entitled kids who need to stop whining and start doing something with their lives. Very few of them are actually serious about quitting, they just want the rush from getting replies to their posts. Same thing happened when I frequented the alcoholism subs too. The same questions over and over and over. "What could I possibly do besides play video games all day?" Jesus Christ there's an entire world of things to do. But I digress.

I had a great week and the weekend is above average. Saturday I normally cave and game for an hour or two but instead I started learning music theory today; found out I'm pretty good at it, too. I suppose it helps that I've already been writing music for many years so even though I don't know what things are technically called or why they're the way they are, I somewhat know how it all works. Actually studying it has filled my head with ideas though.

Still on my meal plan, feeling great. I've saved so much money thanks to it! I can live off of like $100 a week now including gas to go to work and some snacks. Probably will end up funnelling that money into the studio. Paying off all of my debt with tax refund still, probably said that above but I don't remember. I'm going to have a pretty clean slate in March.

I try to limit myself from internet people. It's very important to just have physical bonds for such precious issues like addiction. Reddit is bad. I've deactivated all of my social media for over a year now and I never visit reddit or go to read YouTube comments. I also think discord is a bad place.

Don't even bother with it. It's a complete joke. 

Sorry to sound negative here, but I think it's important to detach from that side of humanity, the fake side, and just put effort into finding community in person. Stick with the meal plan, the studio, and social gatherings that include hobbies you're learning about. You liked the community side of group therapy. I welcome you to explore that and find some groups, clubs, meetups, or something that get you working on stuff.

Edited by BooksandTrees
Edited because I was too harsh against internet communities
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5 hours ago, ceponatia said:

Became a bit disillusioned with the "stopgaming" community on Reddit lately. For the most part it's just entitled kids who need to stop whining and start doing something with their lives. Very few of them are actually serious about quitting, they just want the rush from getting replies to their posts. Same thing happened when I frequented the alcoholism subs too. The same questions over and over and over. "What could I possibly do besides play video games all day?" Jesus Christ there's an entire world of things to do. But I digress.

I had a great week and the weekend is above average. Saturday I normally cave and game for an hour or two but instead I started learning music theory today; found out I'm pretty good at it, too. I suppose it helps that I've already been writing music for many years so even though I don't know what things are technically called or why they're the way they are, I somewhat know how it all works. Actually studying it has filled my head with ideas though.

Still on my meal plan, feeling great. I've saved so much money thanks to it! I can live off of like $100 a week now including gas to go to work and some snacks. Probably will end up funnelling that money into the studio. Paying off all of my debt with tax refund still, probably said that above but I don't remember. I'm going to have a pretty clean slate in March.

That's good that you're serious about quitting and are recognizing it's not so great being around people who aren't. I agree somewhat with @BooksandTrees that finding in person community is helpful. As it says in the Bible 'a neighbor near is worth more than a brother afar.' Still I think the gamequitters community has been pivotal in helping me get it together in my life. I'm still struggling to find groups to be a part of in person, but I keep trying. I'm trying to resist online dating apps right now. I don't feel good using them. Good luck.

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Good advice, guys. I left all the Reddit subs except for the music one because it's still helpful for questions... fiding an in person music community would be ideal eventually but I've had no luck so far. I'll keep looking!

Changed it up a bit today. Still studying the music theory course I bought on Udemy but I'm also practicing reading sheet music. Turns out if you learn the basics of music theory, you don't have to pay for one of those crappy subscription apps to learn... just print out some basic beginner sheet music and learn that way. I'm learning Jingle Bells which is stupid hard for such a simple sounding song.

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Made several breakthroughs in sheet music last night, I'm really excited to keep studying. It's nice because it's been such a long time since I've been genuinely interested in anything besides gaming. I'm stopping at the music store by my office on my lunch break to find out how much piano lessons would cost. Learning on my own is fine for the basics but if I truly want to become good at it I'll need instruction and feedback, like with anything.

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Finally pulled the trigger and signed up for piano lessons. Mondays at 5:00 I'll have a half hour lesson. Not a bad price either, definitely less than I expected.

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5 hours ago, ceponatia said:

Finally pulled the trigger and signed up for piano lessons. Mondays at 5:00 I'll have a half hour lesson. Not a bad price either, definitely less than I expected.

Great choice. Gets you out of the house, socializing, and you'll be in a productive and positive environment. 

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Yeah, I'm excited! It's right after work and in walking distance from the office so very convenient. I want to eventually learn several instruments (and to sing) and I think that piano is a great foundation. The friends I have who went straight to guitar always seem like they're missing a lot of theory, which is usually fine because they're playing rock songs not orchestral compositions, but my perfectionism won't let me learn 25% of it. Lol.

Second week of my new class today. This week is on motherboards so I'll probably breeze through it like I did with last week's material (assembling a PC). This whole course seems to be prep for the A+ exam which I've already been reading Mike Meyer's latest book for, so it's been very easy. A+ isn't difficult to begin with... most of us ex-gamers are probably pretty well versed in computer hardware and operating systems. The only hard part about the class is that the software we use for our labs is terrible and extremely unpleasant to use (cengage). 

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