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dirac

Is self improvement worth it?

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Hey guys,

so I have been thinking a lot about self improvement recently. Since like a year or so I became very focussed on getting a very good grade for my bachelors degree. I have been planning a lot, I studied a lot and I also worked out a lot to achieve my fitness goals. But even though I have had great successes since then, I am not really sure if I am happier. Sometimes I even feel a little less happy than before because I am so focussed on achieving my goals that I find it hard to enjoy the small things in life like having a beer with a friend or something. I socialise a lot less in general because I want to get up early to study and in the evenings I usually work out.

Has anyone else more experience with self improvement in the long run?

I think I need to add that I am not depressed or anything but I am just not as happy as I want to be.

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I think self improvement is so worth it cause it's a journey. As you've learnt and experienced now, there's more to it than discipline and working hard. There'll always be elements you need to explore further and improve upon is why I think self-improvement is an amazing life focus. Since you're quitting gaming, there's also a need to learn delayed gratification (But I don't think you struggle with this - I think it'd more relate to if you were studying hard but don't believe that it helps your study in the future).

You have looked at what you want. Now those wants are evolving and changing. Look at it again now that you have this feeling you're not as happy as you could be. What plan can you come up with to try and change that? Discipline and hard work to me is just the ground works. Everything above and beyond that are the things you'll actually do to live a happy life.

Since you've clearly said you want to enjoy the little things and maybe socialise more - that should become apart of your goals. Work with your goals, not against them. They can change and adjust to what you want right now. Get creative and make a plan to make all these things work together. Maybe you need to find a new balance. But you just know that something isn't right and it's up to you to try and change that. Life's an ever changing journey anyway.

I've been into self improvement since I was still a heavy pot smoker (At least 2 years ago). Quit that, found my way here and now onto the next. I think i've changed immensely and in a way I never could've imagined.

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Hey, this was a very nice read. I thinkyou are really onto something there. Sometimes I forget that self improvement stretches out over all areas of ones life, not just work. 

I think I will try to look at self improvement more of a journey. In a way it makes since. You will never reach a state of pure happiness or being "complete" but I guess you could find happiness in a steady movement towards a better life. I honestly never really thougt of setting goals outside of of work or sport.

Have you ever tried to set long term goals for work, like having your own company or making this much money ? I have tried this a couple of times and it always stressed me out. I felt like I am losing the fun in stuff if I just do it to get something out of it in the long run. Do you know what I mean?

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Great question. I have been very active with self improvement for 3.5 years now (started it when I quit gaming). I was able to develop a lot, at age 26 I used to be a (to be completely frank) loser. I was living with my mom, college dropout, addicted to video games, virgin, very shy, very low confidence, not athletic. Since then I was able to progress in all the mentioned areas. Move out, get a girlfriend, get in shape, have a decent career, learn basic social skills, think higher of myself. This sounds like it would be all amazing, but you have a point, I am often stressed about bettering the next part of my life, feel unsatisfied with the levels I achieved in the named areas. My goals have shifted now I want: High confidence, world class career, women at my feet, great social skills.

I think this is normal human behaviour, you always crave the next thing. I now look at the future and all the work I have to put in and all the years it will take to work on these goals.

So I am both very excited and definitely more content with my situation but I also woke up to the potential of where I can go, which I just didn't realize before and that sometimes can be a burden, or  maybe I just haven't found the right angle yet to look at it to relieve that burden.

I do have a lot more happy days though

Edited by masquerade
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You could choose one or two days of each week were you keep room for activities with friends.
I made a repeating weekly plan that is pinned at my wall & each Saturday between 3pm to 10pm I reserve this time of the day for my "Free time with friends" - and if I am not meeting them this weekend then I do alternative stuff.

3pm to 10pm "meeting  with friends" 

The following ones I only do if I won't be meeting them on a weekend. They're in the same column of "meeting friends":
(3pm library)
(5pm chess theory)
(6pm work-out)
(9pm study)
 

Self improvement is good and important, but be careful not to burn-out at some point and give yourself a bit of leisure time during each week.

Edited by Silent3d

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@Silent3d Yeah I think planning in leisure time stuff is a good idea I have been doing this for the past two weeks and it has been quite nice. Especially because time that is unassigned is most dangerous when it comes to gaming. 

 

@masquerade I am glad that you see my point. I realised in the last few weeks though that its important that self improvement comes from a healthy place because only then it can be healthy and fulfilling. If you hate yourself and want to change so you are different and put a lot of stress on it it can be quite draining. A good place to be in would be to be happy about who you are and to love yourself while still wanting more out of life. I think the key is to enjoy the process of self improvement and not to think of it as some state that you have to achieve to become happy.

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self improvement doesnt mean to work 24/7 ? it means also to make space for free time and actually enjoying things

if you achieve your goals and Ou still doesnt feel happier, then u need to think why. The sense is to feel happier because u start to do you actually want to do

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On 11/8/2019 at 12:21 AM, dirac said:

Hey, this was a very nice read. I thinkyou are really onto something there. Sometimes I forget that self improvement stretches out over all areas of ones life, not just work. 

I think I will try to look at self improvement more of a journey. In a way it makes since. You will never reach a state of pure happiness or being "complete" but I guess you could find happiness in a steady movement towards a better life. I honestly never really thougt of setting goals outside of of work or sport.

Have you ever tried to set long term goals for work, like having your own company or making this much money ? I have tried this a couple of times and it always stressed me out. I felt like I am losing the fun in stuff if I just do it to get something out of it in the long run. Do you know what I mean?

I know what you mean. I want to start a company of my own and develop goals to that end (financing, know-how, organization, personnel, product offering, growth plan), but at some point the goals have to change because your initial assessment wasn’t realistic. The plan will be out of date many times over because the more you act on it, the more insight and knowledge you will acquire. Its possible that your circumstances change and you dont want to pursue that business idea.

In practice, I approached a company with a business idea because I didnt have enough money to test it out myself. They were cautious and chose not to proceed. I lacked presentation and communication skills back then, but they sensed zeal and enthusiasm in my presentation. I can tell from this that a well rounded personality can pull through much better. Let me say what i learned from my field. Really good advocates and lawyers have connections with judges and other civil servants (I’m not talking about anything illegal). From being in the know, they know what will pass and what will fail. So they are in the best position to learn and apply business ideas.

My plan now is to join a business and try to develop enough to become the person “in the know”.

Then there is risk too when you embark upon these goals. If you suffer a setback, the goal seems to move further away and is elusive. From what I read in books, mistakes and setbacks will make you better at planning and achieving your goals. Taking many years to achieve something will be a thrill, you feel like you really earned it and you can navigate the world of business a lot better.

The crucial thing is not to repeat mistakes, it helps to write down experience of this kind in your diary.

Edited by Amphibian220

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