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masquerade

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About masquerade

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  1. @Amphibian220 Thank you for the reply, it's great to know that someone is reading and helps me going. Producing electronic music is my full time job.
  2. Great question. I have been very active with self improvement for 3.5 years now (started it when I quit gaming). I was able to develop a lot, at age 26 I used to be a (to be completely frank) loser. I was living with my mom, college dropout, addicted to video games, virgin, very shy, very low confidence, not athletic. Since then I was able to progress in all the mentioned areas. Move out, get a girlfriend, get in shape, have a decent career, learn basic social skills, think higher of myself. This sounds like it would be all amazing, but you have a point, I am often stressed about bettering the next part of my life, feel unsatisfied with the levels I achieved in the named areas. My goals have shifted now I want: High confidence, world class career, women at my feet, great social skills. I think this is normal human behaviour, you always crave the next thing. I now look at the future and all the work I have to put in and all the years it will take to work on these goals. So I am both very excited and definitely more content with my situation but I also woke up to the potential of where I can go, which I just didn't realize before and that sometimes can be a burden, or maybe I just haven't found the right angle yet to look at it to relieve that burden. I do have a lot more happy days though
  3. Update: Things have been good. I've been going through a breakup, which made things more difficult recently but I haven't played for 2 weeks now which is great and I've been able to accomplish a hell of a lot. Pushing my life forward feels great. My girlfriend also held me back and it took some time to break free of that and I feel like without her and without gaming I can develop at a faster pace, a pace that I like a lot more. So on the music front I was able to really hone in, but an area where I want to increase my learning speed is social skills. I've been making progress over the last 3 years, it's insane how shy I was back then and how much I let people push me around. I've definitely developed a lot since then but there is plenty more to learn, I am now functioning in the social world, but want to take that to thriving. I will be making detailed goals and focusing on certain aspects at a time. For the following 1-3 weeks I will focus on not being so submissive during conversation, this includes: "pity" laughing at things I don't find funny saying yes combined with nodding in an overeager & hectic manner, as opposed to doing these things when I actually am interested in what the person is saying and or agree with it. Not feining interest in every topic another person brings up, being ok with showing disinterest, disapproval instead of smiling and nodding to everything
  4. Agreed with Th334. I think you are going very soft on him, which isn't doing him any favors either. A relationship with one partner living and active life and progressing and the other one withering away by playing 50 hours a week is unsustainable and will end sooner or later. The only way is to have a frank talk with him and saying a lot of the things you mentioned here in the forum. If you say nothing and one day leave him because you are fed up you didn't give him a chance to change and didn't help him to make a positive change. Relationship issues need to be talked over in an honest and direct way, take it from someone who didn't do so for years.
  5. Thank you for the reply 🙂 I hope you are able to figure out what exactly it is for you. Since the relapse on Tuesday I've been able to stick with not gaming and my motivation for other things is rising and I feel a lot better. Starting a new song is still difficult and it looks like it's not only caused by gaming, but cutting out the gaming helped me having time and mental capacity to figure out how to solve that problem.
  6. I only had 2 games installed so it was easy to get rid of both of them. Thank you for your replys Ismail, they help
  7. I relapsed yesterday. Deleting this shit again today. Back to day 0.
  8. Hey everyone, I've been away from video games for roughly 3 years and improved my life so much, getting out of my moms house, getting a girlfriend, getting my career to a great point. For the past 4 months though I've been on and off gaming. Imagine a day where I game for 5+ hours and then right after uninstalling steam, trying to quit, then a few days later reinstalling... rinse and repeat. It's starting to impact my career progress and my self-awareness, I get less positive stuff done and I'm very frustrated by that. I am a musician and recently feel like I lost the excitement about making music, I often have to push myself to produce and use opportunities to stop doing it. Now I am wondering if gaming is just messing up my fun levels for other activities, or if it's the other way around and I started gaming again because I actually am not excited about music anymore. Today I want to try and find out. I will quit gaming and will try my hardest to make it stick this time. I could really use help from an accountability partner (via Whatsapp, Mail, etc) so please reach out if you feel the same. I am a 29 year old male from Germany.
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