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Sarma

Do you ever get a feeling of depresonalization

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I don't know if this is a symptom of the detox. 

Sometimes I think about reality as it is, and feel kind of disconnected. I start to question my existence as a whole. 

I want to say it's because of anxiety, but I cant help but be worried that something worse is happening to me. 

These thoughts started to come to me when I had my first big panic attack at the end of high school. I didn't think of it much at the time, because I was obviously not feeling well. 

Now with reoccuring anxiety attacks, i fear that it could be something more serious. 

What do you guys think about this? 

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First off this is something new to you that you don't understand because you fear it. I suggest scheduling an appointment with a therapist to hash it out a bit. Sounds like addiction withdrawal to me. Back when I was quitting alcohol having people to chat to that related really helped I would just drink myself into a drunken stupor otherwise. Maybe the StopGaming discord chat would be a good place to stop by next time you feel an anxiety attack coming on. Best of luck. @Sarma

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@goodvibes Yeah i hope its a withdrawal symptom as well. I always think of the worst thing possible when new stuff like this happens to me. Sadly, the new therapist im supposed to go to is taking a break from work. There was this therapist i went to before, but i never thought she really helped me. But i think im gonna search for anpther therapist in the mean time. Need to get my head straight. 

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If you feel considerable depersonalization and/or depression, I highly suggest to get a proper blood testing done - it could be a simple medical issue. There's a youtube guy "bignoknow" who had very severe depersonalization for a very long time, highly suicidal, was hospitalized at times etc. In the end it was found through a blood test that he had dangerously low levels of testosterone, started a therapy for it and recovered.

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@JustTom To be honest, I doubt it's that. But will definitely check with my doctor when I get the chance. Need to asses all possibilities. 

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I don't know if my experience is similar to yours, OP.  But a few times this year, I felt like I was watching myself do things, as if I were another person watching 'me'.  During those times I was also going through a period of depression.  I don't know exactly why I did that, but maybe it was a way to distance myself from the harsh reality of my depression.  And I was ordering myself around too.  Like, I'd say to myself "Silly girl, go over there and wash those dishes!".  Mind-body detachment or something strange like that.  It was the only way I could focus on getting anything done around the house. 

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It may be something you were avoiding thinking about with gaming, which is why it might feel more prevalent. I suspect the thought is there. I tend to look at my phone at night to avoid those thoughts. Transitioning out of that by creating stories in my heads or like amusing questions like “If a culture existed in a fantasy world, what would their curse words be?”. Could take this a step further by real-life questions “What are some solutions for people in wheelchairs to have more independence at a grocery store if they can’t reach the shelves. What design would help them?”. I suspect your brain is stimulating itself with far-out questions, see if you can amuse it with something still interesting and challenging, but perhaps connects you to the community or your own creativity to feel more anchored after.

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