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My Journal - Joe


wookieshark88

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I'm sorry to hear about your car accident, but hey, that's why they're called car accidents after all - you never expect them to happen so don't beat yourself up about it.

They may be accidents, but you should be expecting them.  And if you cause an accident you should beat yourself up about it.  I would have a very hard time living with myself if I accidentally killed someone, which is a very real possibility in car crashes.  Even when no one is hurt you should beat yourself up over a car crash.  Not forever, just long enough that the lesson is permanently learnt.

Even when it's not your fault there are still things you can do to avoid accidents.  Many years ago when I was getting my motorbike license, the instructor said something that's stuck with me ever since.

"Ride as every other person on the road is a dickhead who is trying to kill you"

If you have a crash on a motorbike it really doesn't matter who is at fault.  You want to avoid a crash whether or not you have right of way.  It's not really any different if you're in a car. 

The way you avoid crashes is to think ahead.  Where are you going to go if that red car ahead suddenly swerves int your lane?  If that car suddenly brakes can you stop in time not to crash into their rear end?  What are you going to do if that white car pulls out in front of you?

Expect accidents to happen.  Think about how you can avoid them.

Quite literally and without hyperbole, we are talking about life and death.

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I agree completely about the importance of driving safely.  I've had that attitude since as long as I have been driving.  I was flawless for my first fourteen years of driving, but not that one time.  I felt an intense guilt about it, and have been so much more vigilant ever since.  That vigilance will stay with me forever because it's supremely important to me that I do not have any negative impacts on society,  That being said, I accept the blame, analyze what went wrong, and formulate a strategy to never repeat that mistake again.  My family needs me, and I will do all that I can to be there for them.

Today was a good day.  I selected my book to read!  I picked "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie because every time I saw somebody mention that book, I had the desire to read it for myself.  It's a pretty short read so I'm going to have to line up the next book too.  So far the advice that the author gives is straightforward and intuitive.  It's the kind of thing that I feel should be obvious, but it's easy enough to not put all the pieces together until somebody points it out.  I believe that it can profoundly change my life if I can internalize its message and live by its principles.  I'm also taking notes on it because it's something I feel is worth condensing for quick reference.

Work was pretty easy as it seems like everybody there is going into holiday mode.  I've been keeping busy enough with my training, and I have some production work that I'll get into soon as well.  I'm at the point in my training where I want to organize the knowledge that I have gained in an way that will useful as a reference guide.  It's pretty much the same thing that I'm doing with Carnegie's book.  I suppose that I have a natural inclination to distill and organize the information I find valuable.  Of course that distilled information would not be very valuable to me if I didn't read the whole book or train thoroughly first.  It just helps me to key in on concepts that I have learned and enables me to perform a function while I'm still in the process of internalizing that knowledge.  I do the same with school too now that I think about it.

I've been thinking about how my journal is getting quite long and encompasses a huge amount of change in my life.  I'm thinking about reviewing my old entries and analyzing them.  What was I like on a certain day?  What were my goals?  How did I do with them?  How I feel?  Why did I feel that way?  This could be a good way of identifying what has been working for me and what I can change to continue to improve.  Also, I noticed that I am so reluctant to read my old words and see recordings of myself.  This means that I rely on memory to evaluate things, and memory is far from perfect.  Also, it's good practice to do something that's a little bit out of my comfort zone.  Does anybody have thoughts or experience with this?

I'm thankful for:

  1. Reading with my eyes!
  2. Driving safely today.
  3. Having a lot of fun with my baby this evening.
  4. Skyping with my parents.
  5. Sending my wife an unprompted text telling her how supportive she is of me.
  6. Meditating.  I can believe how important it is to me after so many years of thinking it was stupid.
  7. This community.  It's such a quality bunch of folks, and it keeps getting better!
  8. My mother in law for being a vital support of my success this semester.  I need to figure out the best way to show my gratitude.
  9. Feeling good about life.  I spent most of my life without this feeling.
  10. Improving myself a little bit every day.
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Today is a good day.  Class is over, and I have a few days off from work!  I'm so ready to just have a few days of simplicity.  This weekend I just want to be a father and husband.  We're going to take our baby to a place called "Kid City".  I'm excited to see how she does there!  After that, we're going to go out to eat and relax.  There will be some chores to be done during the day, but we're going to keep things as low key as possible.  As much as I am dedicated to pursuing my goals, I need to rest for a while.  Without rest, I won't be as effective in the future.  In the past I used to just push myself until I broke then go on a video game/drinking/eating poorly binge.  That won't be happening anymore.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Having the chance to regroup for a while before my next class.
  2. Being able to feel successful with my progress towards multiple goals.
  3. Feeling confident that I will be amazed by my progress as long as I can maintain a consistent effort.
  4. Continuing to read my book.
  5. Having a genuine sense of happiness in my life.
  6. Learning new things every day.
  7. Being able to put my baby to sleep.  It's nice to read her a story, give her a bottle, and just sit quietly with her.
  8. Knowing I will sleep great tonight.
  9. Having a chance to meditate twice today.  It was really refreshing.
  10. Having a nice salad for dinner.
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Today was a good day.  I spent a ton of time trying to get caught up on everybody's journals so I'm going to make this quick.

We went to kid city today and it was fun!  My baby enjoyed playing there, and I did too.  I probably enjoyed it more than I was supposed to, haha.

I went Christmas shopping today because I finally got the chance.  It was horrible to be out and about with all the crazy Christmas shoppers, but it's all done now.

I got my syllabus for my next class that starts on December 28.  That class is going to be really fast paced so I'm going to start diving in ASAP.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Seeing so many people share their journeys in quitting games.  It keeps me motivated to be at my best!
  2. Having fun at Kid City.  We'll be going back in the future.
  3. Leaving Kid City.  At a certain point, it seemed like a bunch of terribly behaved children and parents got in.  I'm glad my wife agreed that it was time to go.
  4. The Mexican food we had after Kid City.
  5. Finishing Christmas shopping.
  6. Getting a ton of things crossed off of my to do list.
  7. My professor sending out the syllabus early.  I'm going to need to have a head start.
  8. Picking up a new sketchbook and some pencils.  Now I just need to start using them!
  9. Having a good weekend so far.
  10. My family.
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Today was really good and really busy.  I really didn't intend to end up this busy.  The good new is that lots of things have been taken care of going into the week.  The down side is that I am beat.

I'm thankful for:

  1. The excellent beef stew my wife and I made for dinner.
  2. Swim lessons.  They were my baby's best yet!
  3. Printing from my laser printer.  No more lousy ink jet for me!
  4. Sitting still now watching Seinfeld with my wife.
  5. Getting the basement cleaned.
  6. Getting all the laundry done.
  7. Sorting through the files from my dead computer.
  8. Going grocery shopping.
  9. Throwing out a bunch of junk that I don't need any more.
  10. Cleaning out the baby's room.
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Today was kind of a tough day for me.  I've been feeling antisocial and angsty all day.  Also, on my three mile drive home from work, I ran over a rock or something and it left a gash in the side of my tire and wheel.  I really just wanted to cry.  Oh well, it's not the end of the world, and I'll get a new tire.

On a brighter side, I got to go home earlier than usual because I'm not in class.  This means that I got to spend a bit of extra time with my baby!  We took a catnap together, listened to some jazz and danced, had dinner, bathed, brushed her teeth, and played around for a bit.  It's been a while since I've spent that much time with her alone after work.  I miss knowing her routines as well as I used to.  Thankfully, I have a chance to get back in the loop!

I've been enjoying the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People".  I haven't felt like socializing lately, but I'll need to start practicing the techniques.  I've been taking notes and creating a condensed version so that I can skim it over and keep the concepts in my mind.  This is something that I really want to get better at.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Getting my drawing book today.  I've started reading it and am excited to get to the exercises.
  2. My to do list not being overly absurd even though getting a new tire has gone on it.
  3. Having a wonderful wife who has cheered me up a bit.
  4. Having a good amount of time with my baby.
  5. Christmas coming up.  I really need the extra days off to rest.
  6. The chicken and kale salad my wife and I made for dinner tonight
  7. Getting a bonus check at work.  That will take care of the tire.
  8. My cats.  They're always doing something that's funny.
  9. Brushing my baby's teeth for the first time.
  10. Taking a short nap today.  It really helped.
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You can cry. I cried a few days ago. :)

I like the new avatar!  I may have to change mine soon.

Today was an anxiety filled day, but I overcame that anxiety by the end of the day.  For most of the day I could feel the anxiety in my shoulder, crowding my thoughts, and making me jumpy.  After lunch at work, I decided that I should kick its ass.  I put on some headspace and practiced my breathing.  I smiled and went for short walks.  Then I started writing.  It was good to just put all these thoughts that were plaguing my mind onto paper.  As my mind started to feel better, I wrote about that too.  It helped me quite a bit.  After I put my baby to sleep, I opened OneNote and started writing in there.  I had been meaning to really try it out and see if it would help me in my life.  I wrote in it for two hours until my wife came home.  I wrote about my life goals, broke them down into components, wrote about books that I read, wrote my to do list, wrote about things I am waiting for...just wrote about my life.  I have to say that I do not have a hint of anxiety right now.  It was really freeing.

I had my allergy test today.  That really sucked.  Apparently I'm allergic to tons of things.  I got poked 72 times, and a lot of those pokes turned into very itchy bumps on my back.  On Thursday, I'll go back to find out what's next.  Hopefully the followup test is less itchy.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Dealing with my anxiety effectively.
  2. The nice strong drink I have been enjoying.  I hope it didn't degrade the quality of my journal entry.
  3. My cat for being nice after being stuck in the closet all day.  This happens to him four or five times a year yet he always has to sneak into the closet.
  4. My mother in law for being a great person who allows me to pursue my dreams.
  5. Listening to my wife's difficult day.  I always want to be there for her.
  6. Having mellow time with my baby this evening.  She was content to just sit with me and talk.
  7. Finally trying out OneNote.  It's okay so far,  but I'm hoping I have an epiphany and I end up loving it.
  8. Working on mapping out my goals and dreams.  I'll need to keep working on it because it was really therapeutic.
  9. Tomorrow being the last working day of this calendar year.  I was hoping to work next week, but I'll just have to enjoy the time away from the office.
  10. All of the things I have learned since quitting games.  It's been 180 days and I'm happy with my new direction.  It's not always easy, but it's hugely gratifying.
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Today was good.  I had a pretty easy day at work which was really nice.  I got home and had lots of time to play with my baby.  We got to jump around, talk, cuddle, and just enjoy hanging out.  That makes two days this week that we got to have a good amount of bonding time.

Today was a much better day for my anxiety.  I think all of my efforts to deal with it yesterday had carried over to today.  It probably helps that today is the last day I had to work this calendar year.

Tomorrow is my allergy test follow up.  I'm supposed to do a second test, but I really hope that I'm not allergic to too much this time around.  I have no desire to have a super itchy back again.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Eating better today that I have been.
  2. Getting a break from work.
  3. Spending quality time with my baby.
  4. The nice salad that my wife and I had for dinner
  5. Not having problems with anxiety today.
  6. Having the motivation to learn something new every day.
  7. Getting my goals organized and exploring my inner self.
  8. Having good communication with my wife.
  9. Not having an itchy back.
  10. Getting to sleep in a bit tomorrow.
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Merry Christmas to you and your family Joe! 

Merry Christmas to you too and to all of the Game Quitters community!

Today was a good day!  I spent the whole day with my baby, and we were out and about for most of it.  First of all we went to my allergy appointment.  I'm really glad that she was there because we got to play the whole time after they gave my shots.  I was so itchy, but she was there to laugh with and distract me.  That's easily the most fun I've ever had at a doctors office, haha.  We were there for about two hours, and we both did great.  Neither of us cried or threw a fit.  It turns out I'm allergic to all of the environmental stuff except for feathers and cockroaches.  That means grasses, trees, pollen, molds,  dogs, cats, other animals, and who knows what else give me allergies.  The good news is that I many be eligible for immunotherapy that has a 90% chance of eliminating my allergies in three to five years!  I would love that.

The next thing we did was go to Sears at the mall to get a new tire for my car.  It was a two hour wait, but we were able to walk around a bit and get her photo with Santa.  She took one photo were she liked him and another where she was really mad at him, haha.  I think they're both great photos!  We finally got home and had fun with my wife as we cooked a flavorful and healthy turkey chili with three kinds of beans.  My baby really enjoys being in the kitchen and watching everything that's going on.

Now that she's in bed it's time for my wife and I to make some molasses cookies and have a few stiff drinks!

I'm thankful for:

  1. Having a blast with my baby today!
  2. The awesome Santa Photos that we got.
  3. Getting my tire replaced.  It's all about safety now that I have a baby!
  4. A delicious dinner!  I love cooking when I have time.
  5. Rocking out to 80's music in the kitchen with my wife and baby.
  6. My allergy doctor.  The guy is awesome!
  7. My cats.  Allergies be damned, I am a crazy cat person.
  8. Calling my parents.
  9. The funny faces that we all make at each other as a family.  We all love to laugh together.
  10. Tomorrow making a half year of freedom from video games!  It's been one of the best six month stretches of my life!
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Today was a great day, and yesterday was a blast after my journal entry.  I had eggnog with bourbon while my wife and I made Christmas cookies and chutney and took care of the rest of our Christmas preparations.

Today was my baby's first Christmas!  We all had a great day celebrating.  I'm so tired at this point so I'm just going to end my entry.

I'm thankful for:

  1. My baby really enjoying the festivities and her gifts.  It's his first Christmas!
  2. My wife's appreciation for the gifts I gave her.  They were beauty products which is a field completely beyond my comprehension.  I just internet research and got her stuff that people were raving about, lol.
  3. The headband and mullet wig my wife got me.  I got lots of funny looks today!
  4. Having a wonderful breakfast for lunch!
  5. Visiting some friends who also have a baby.  They played together so well!
  6. Relaxing and watching A Christmas Story with my wife.
  7. Being able to take antihistamines again after my test!  What a relief.
  8. Not having any anxiety today.
  9. Being game free for six months!
  10. Being happy with life.
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Today was another good day.  It was the first day of class and the assignment wasn't bad.  The class is 7 days a week for 21 days with an assignment due every day.  Hopefully they're all like today's assignment because that would be very doable.  I'm not working at all this week, and this level of work should be easy enough for it to still feel like I'm taking a break.  I'll be able to spend all week with my baby!

Today was also a big computer day for me as well.  I have used Firefox as my internet browser for about eight years, but it's been making me mad lately.  Today it infuriated me so badly I switched to Opera, at least for now.  I didn't want to switch to Chrome because I don't want to get sucked into Google's world.  I have all my stuff set up in Microsoft's world already (except Bing, I use Google for search), and I'm happy enough to not switch.  I really like Microsoft Edge and may give it a legitimate shot once it has extensions.  I love being able to customize my browser with extensions to suit my style.  Opera seems to fit my needs really well, and I hope it continues to do so because it seems really nice!  It's so much more touch friendly!  I'm willing to hear anybody's opinions on browsers because I can never have enough information.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Making a Gordon Ramsay style breakfast this morning.  It was awesome!
  2. Making a Gordon Ramsay style dinner last night.  That was awesome too!
  3. Having time to have lots of fun in the kitchen.  I'm going to make a Gordon Ramsay roast chicken in a few days!
  4. Playing with my baby off and on all day long.  She's a lot of fun even if she acts like a big baby sometimes, haha.
  5. Not feeling any anxiety and having the chance to decompress.
  6. Getting the chance to take my baby to the doctor tomorrow.  I like being there to do those things.
  7. Playing with my baby's Christmas toys.  We have fun.
  8. My wife for helping make sure that I get to relax.
  9. Having a nice conversation with my parents.
  10. Knocking a few things off of my to do list.
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Today was a really good day.  I took my baby to the doctor's appointment, and she's completely healthy.  The only thing the doctor said is that we should be putting lotion on her legs before bedtime.  That's easy enough!

After the appointment, we both hung out at home all day.  The weather was bad today so there was no real reason to go anywhere.  We got to play, take a nap, cook together, watch a show, read books, and a bunch of other fun stuff.  It's awesome how much better spending a day with her is without the influence of video games.  I had no desire to ignore her and keep my face in a screen.  There was no anxiety or dishonesty about any part of the day.  I'm in a much better place than I was back then and today really affirmed that for me.

I'm thankful for:

  1. My class not being too hard so far.
  2. Getting to take a nap today.  This week has been good for taking a break from the grind so far.
  3. Having time to make breakfast and dinner.
  4. Getting used to using OneNote as a tool for studying.
  5. Enjoying my day for what it was and not wanting to be mentally anywhere else.
  6. Being able to hang out with my wife after she got home from work.
  7. My baby being healthy.
  8. Not feeling any asthma today.
  9. Not having any anxiety today.
  10. Driving safely during the bad weather.
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It's awesome how much better spending a day with her is without the influence of video games.  I had no desire to ignore her and keep my face in a screen.  There was no anxiety or dishonesty about any part of the day.  I'm in a much better place than I was back then and today really affirmed that for me.

Love it man. I share your story a lot with people I meet who are interested in the work we're doing here, especially because many think this is just for "kids"... when your story is a great example of what this is all really about. You're having a greater impact than you realize. :)

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It's awesome how much better spending a day with her is without the influence of video games.  I had no desire to ignore her and keep my face in a screen.  There was no anxiety or dishonesty about any part of the day.  I'm in a much better place than I was back then and today really affirmed that for me.

Love it man. I share your story a lot with people I meet who are interested in the work we're doing here, especially because many think this is just for "kids"... when your story is a great example of what this is all really about. You're having a greater impact than you realize. :)

All I want out of life is to have an impact on others whether through love, inspiration, friendship, go on adventures, satisfy my curiosity, and explore my potential.  It really fulfills me to improve as many lives as I can!

Today was another great day.  My Gordon Ramsay style roast chicken is set to come out of the oven in about twenty minutes, and I'm so excited!  You can see the recipe on YouTube if you search for it.  I can say that the stuffing is out of this world, and we'll see how the chicken turns out.

Playing house husband for over a week has been awesome.  I really like cooking, cleaning, and hanging out with my baby all day.  I feel so rested after a long semester.  People have been telling me I look visibly more rested too.  If my wife could support us all financially, I would love to have a part time job and take care of the home.  Oh well, I can be happy in a ton of different scenarios.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Gordon Ramsay's recipes.  Seriously, go cook one for yourself,
  2. Feeling so rested.
  3. Having picked up so many skills over the last six months.
  4. Not feeling much anxiety today.
  5. Goose Island Bourbon Country.  This is the greatest beer I've ever had.
  6. Being happy.  I've spent way too much of my life unhappy.
  7. Hearing that my story is helping others.
  8. Having a great evening with my wife.
  9. My baby for laughing with me all day.
  10. My class going well.
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Sounds like you've really come a long way, Joe! I'm doing better than I used to in terms of ignoring the influence of video games in the house, but to see how far you have come without them is amazing. 6 months is a long time without video games, and to see such personal development in that time must something to celebrate. Have a Happy New Year Joe!

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Sounds like you've really come a long way, Joe! I'm doing better than I used to in terms of ignoring the influence of video games in the house, but to see how far you have come without them is amazing. 6 months is a long time without video games, and to see such personal development in that time must something to celebrate. Have a Happy New Year Joe!

Happy new year to you and Cam!  I'm lucky that I don't have any gamers in my house.  There is a game that I can't help but see advertised and talked about that really gives me cravings.  I think this is the next step for me in quitting games.  Letting go of knowing all the new games and being okay with not being in the loop is tough.  One thing that helps is that I have the days without games counter on reddit.  It's easier to keep a streak of abstinence than to keep a streak of action.

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Sounds like you've really come a long way, Joe! I'm doing better than I used to in terms of ignoring the influence of video games in the house, but to see how far you have come without them is amazing. 6 months is a long time without video games, and to see such personal development in that time must something to celebrate. Have a Happy New Year Joe!

Letting go of knowing all the new games and being okay with not being in the loop is tough.

This is one of the funny ironies in my life. Since I quit a few years ago I haven't payed any attention to the new games that come out other than ones I see advertised. So 90% of the games people talk about in the forum and StopGaming subreddit I have no idea about. Makes me feel old. :D

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Sounds like you've really come a long way, Joe! I'm doing better than I used to in terms of ignoring the influence of video games in the house, but to see how far you have come without them is amazing. 6 months is a long time without video games, and to see such personal development in that time must something to celebrate. Have a Happy New Year Joe!

Letting go of knowing all the new games and being okay with not being in the loop is tough.

This is one of the funny ironies in my life. Since I quit a few years ago I haven't payed any attention to the new games that come out other than ones I see advertised. So 90% of the games people talk about in the forum and StopGaming subreddit I have no idea about. Makes me feel old. :D

My goal is to reach that level of cluelessness!  I already don't have an idea of many of the games that people talk about because I was aware of their reputation of addictiveness and knew that those games would destroy me.  I have a hard enough times with the games that don't have that reputation.  I really enjoy video games, but they are no comparison for a quality life.

Today was a good day.  We all just got back from the emergency room.  (I realize that these two sentences are not usually compatible.)  My baby kept waking up after bedtime and was really fussy.  When I went to change her diaper, I noticed that she had red splotches and bumps all over her body.  I told my wife and we calmly and immediately packed her up and took her to the ER.  It turned out that she had an allergic reaction to something today.  My wife and I are going to make a follow up appointment with her doctor and work on a list of all the new things she was exposed to today.  I'm really proud of how we dealt with my baby's problem.  It makes me feel good that we're capable of handling unusual situations in a timely and responsible matter.  You never really know how you'll do until you're in the situation.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Getting through 2015 without having to take my baby to the ER.
  2. Having a fun get together with my wife's family.
  3. Having a great family.
  4. Being able to stay on top of my class work.  5 days down and 16 to go!
  5. Having the chance to take an online class.  It's really nice to not have to travel for a class.
  6. My baby feeling better now.
  7. Getting one of my cats to eat a bit more.  He's a little bit on the thin side.
  8. Learning about ethics.  It's actually interesting which is the opposite of what I thought it was going to be.
  9. Having fun toys to play with my baby.
  10. Not having to work this week.  It's been fantastic.
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Today was another good day.  My wife and I were able to get a lot of chores done and go on a date!  It's probably the fourth or fifth date we've been on since we became parents.  We were able to just go out to dinner and take it easy.  It's not often that we're together and not trying to hustle and get as many things done as we can or just sitting on the couch together before bed.  My baby is almost completely recovered from her rashes which is good too.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Having delicious food with my wife.
  2. Going on a fantastic little date.
  3. Finishing day 6 of my 21 day class.
  4. Getting a lot of chores done this morning.
  5. Having time to cook again today.
  6. Playing new games with my baby.
  7. Enjoying another day off from work.
  8. Studying an interesting subject.
  9. Being recharged physically from the last few months.
  10. Being happy.
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