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My Journal - Joe

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It actually feels good to just put that part of my mind out there for all to see. :) Does anybody else suffer from these kinds of thoughts? I really want to be free of them...

?Yes, for about the first three months I experienced them. I think it's totally normal. But I since then haven't really. It's just a matter of rewiring your brain.

So when you do have those thoughts, first off don't beat yourself up over it. Next step is just to move on. Say, "Hmm yeah, that would be cool if sonic ran down that street" or something, but then just move on and let go. Keep doing that and you will be able to live clearly without those thoughts.

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Today was another good day! I had given thought to the suggested modifications to my little experiment and settled on smiling at the people I passed and giving them a friendly "Hello" or "Good Morning" or "Happy Friday". This was actually a ton of fun and filled me with joy! Thanks to all who inspired me to try something new today.

Tofu, I appreciate your words. I look forward to moving on from those thoughts both in the moments in which they happen and as the end of an era in my life. I'm really happy to hear that somebody has beaten this!

I was able to get out of work at a great time today! When I got home, my baby was full and energy and ready to play. We played for a good long while and shared lots of laughs! We called up grandma and grandpa and shared our good times with them too. My baby likes to hold the phone (I always turn the lcd screen off before giving her my phone) while my parents talk to her. I was really happy to share my good times with them.

The last couple of days have been really good for me. I've had happiness flowing freely out from myself. This is a huge thing for a person like myself who has suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life. I really can't believe how much I have grown and changed. I've been thinking about this a good amount the last few days, and I am just left in a state of wonder.

I'm thankful for:

  1. The great results of my modified experiment.
  2. Super fun baby play time!
  3. Getting the laundry done tonight. More free time for later this weekend!
  4. Dinner! I'm making grilled swordfish and roasted brussel sprouts.
  5. Wine. It's tasty, alcoholic, and cholesterol lowing.
  6. Growing as a person. I absolutely love how this site has impacted me.
  7. The sizzle of fish on the cast iron skillet and the delicious aroma that rises from it. I'm cooking and journaling.
  8. Pema Chodron. I think I may have to write her a letter or email soon.
  9. My wife for being a joyful addition to my life.
  10. My cats for satisfying my crazy cat person desires.

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Today was another good day! I had given thought to the suggested modifications to my little experiment and settled on smiling at the people I passed and giving them a friendly "Hello" or "Good Morning" or "Happy Friday". This was actually a ton of fun and filled me with joy! Thanks to all who inspired me to try something new today.

?This is all about being the change you want to see in the world. I'm the same "a little bit friendlier than the normal person" type and people's reactions are so great when you catch them off guard. :D

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Today was a great day! Right now I'm drinking some coffee so I can have the energy to make dinner while banging out my journal entry. My wife and I got a lot of things done today! We wanted to make today as productive as possible so that we could spend the rest of this three day weekend just having fun! We want to go to the zoo and to Federal Hill in Providence as well as a huge farmer's market that's an hour's drive away from us. Also, tomorrow morning is swim class. As I learned from reading the Slight Edge, unfinished business keeps us in the past and prohibits us from being in the present. This is why getting things done has been the focus all day today. The only real chores left for this weekend are to install the baby proofing stuff that we bought today, and for me to just do an hour of homework both days because I'm a little bit behind in my studies. I aced the first two quizzes so I'm not overly concerned as long as I keep my efforts consistent.

My baby is on the verge of crawling! It's so exciting! Getting the living room, kitchen, and stair cases safe has jumped to the top of our priority list so we got all the stuff we think we'll need to make everything safe. Of course, we'll have to be observant and see if we need to do anything else after we get this stuff installed. That should be completed tomorrow morning.

My wife was her usual awesome self and took care of things at home while I spent a couple of hours at the library studying this morning. It's wonderful to have somebody so supportive of my goals. I do realize that my goals cause me to have less family time than is ideal, and I very much plan on making it worth her while in the long run. We've talked about all of this since before we got married, but seeing her be true to our plans from back then is refreshing. There's too many people who back out of a plan once it's their turn to deliver.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Getting my baby's Halloween costume. She's going to be a duck!
  2. Getting a nice discount on all the baby proofing stuff.
  3. Tasty coffee from a French press.
  4. A new record low weight! 30 pounds down and 5 to go.
  5. The fun baby books I got at the library.
  6. The enchiladas I'm about to start cooking once I figure out four more things I'm thankful for.
  7. The grocery store for allowing me to exchange the diapers my baby just grew out of for bigger ones.
  8. Having fun while being productive. It's the magical formula for success.
  9. My cats for cuddling together instead of beating each other up.
  10. A comfortable couch to rest on before getting back to it!

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Hey Joe,

Glad you are having so many good days lately! I really liked the post about your experiment. I myself and trying to work on just making eye-contact in everyday interactions. I realized recently how little I actually look people in the face when I talk to them! So I want to change that. Your experiment was very fun to read about and I could see myself trying something similar. Very interesting the breakdown of how people react!

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Hey Joe,

Glad you are having so many good days lately! I really liked the post about your experiment. I myself and trying to work on just making eye-contact in everyday interactions. I realized recently how little I actually look people in the face when I talk to them! So I want to change that. Your experiment was very fun to read about and I could see myself trying something similar. Very interesting the breakdown of how people react!

?I have always been a shifty eyed person when in conversations. I have been practicing making eye contact and being more comfortable while doing it. It's been getting a little better, but I have to be mindful every time I have conversations because it's not natural for me yet.

Today was awesome and exhausting. We did swim class, farmers market, dinner with the wife's family, installed baby gates, and cleaned a bit. Fun was had and habits have been kept. This is going to be a short entry today.

I'm thankful for:

  1. So much tasty food today.
  2. Getting more done.
  3. Seeing all the beautiful fall foliage.
  4. Feeling satisfied with life.
  5. Resting before bed.
  6. Getting better at sketching.
  7. Laughing a lot today.
  8. Being ready for a mobile baby!
  9. Another weekend day to enjoy.
  10. Being very organized these days.

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Wow, this was a great weekend. We all went to the zoo and had a blast. My baby's favorite part of the zoo was the sparrows that were in most of the exhibits. For whatever reason she just got so excited whenever there were sparrows near. Elephants, giraffes, monkeys, bears... not that exciting, but sparrows were just the most miraculous things to her today. It was just a great thing to spend some quality as a family having fun today.

Meditation wasn't of the best quality today, but that's okay. Just doing it the best I could is plenty for me. There will always be days where it isn't what I want it to be.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Making the absolute most of this weekend. There wasn't a single moment that was wasted.
  2. A great dinner. My wife made a great pot roast with veggies.
  3. Getting some big slobbery baby kisses today.
  4. Heading into this week with no outstanding chores.
  5. Sitting with my feet up at the end of a great day.
  6. Having lots of food for lunches and dinners this week.
  7. Homemade pumpkin bread. I love the pumpkin time of year!
  8. Peace of mind.
  9. Advancing towards all my goals.
  10. Happiness.

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Today was a good day in an unusual way. I got to school a little bit late because of traffic. This was actually kind of nice because there was a pop quiz and I was able to finish it right as the time ran out. I usually have to sit still in there and wait for the quiz to end. Of course I can't read my books during this time because of possible cheating. We're doing midterm review on Thursday which is great. I'm a bit behind in my note taking so that will give me a chance to catch up. I also have to complete one more sketch to complete the three sketches due for the midterm.

When I was driving to work after class I got a small stomachache. I figured I just needed to eat something so I had a piece of that awesome pumpkin bread my wife made. After that my stomach felt awful so I called out and went home to take a nap. A few hours of sleeping later, I got up and felt well enough to play with my baby. I put her on the floor, and she started crawling! It was awesome! I was there for her huge milestone! That was the best stomachache of my life!

I'm thankful for:

  1. Crawling babies!
  2. Stomachaches.
  3. A rare nap.
  4. Making progress on my studies.
  5. Becoming a donor to this site. I believe in what's happening here, and I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is.
  6. Feeling better.
  7. Making sure to get all that baby proofing done this weekend.
  8. Taking pictures that will last a lifetime.
  9. Being fully present in the milestone.
  10. Taking lots of photos.

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Sounds like you had a great day! Big milestones being reached without expecting them can really make your day!

I can't take naps during the day very often, only when I'm very tired. But when I do, it feels amazing afterwards!

I'm glad I'm now in that stage where you're at; we don't even have to mention gaming in our journals because we've started a new chapter of our lives. Nice to know huh?

Well done that you're still posting! :)

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Haha good luck now :D Brace for the next stage: climbing babies ;)

?Actually, the first thing she did was crawl to the stairs and try to climb the bottom one. That stage will be coming sooner rather than later I think!

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Today was tough, but it wasn't bad. I had another stomachache that just drained me of my energy. I got though the day and did everything I had to do even if it wasn't easy. Part of it is that I feel a bit stressed about finishing all my assignments before my midterm. I have to remember that anxiety is not a good motivator. Too many years were wasted by letting anxiety spur me into action. The best thing for me to do is to get my mind and body squared away so I can take care of my responsibilities effectively. Also happiness is the key to my success. I have plenty to be happy about too.

I'm thankful for:

  1. My wonderful baby for crawling for her grandma! I'm so proud!
  2. My wife for stepping up to help me when I have a tough day.
  3. Reading all the great posts here! They're always motivating!
  4. Relaxing on the couch. It's important to rest.
  5. The book on Einstein. It's really cool to learn more about an icon.
  6. Having a short work week. I'm ready to get some rest and get my studies in order!
  7. Being able to honestly say that I'm happy even when things are tough.
  8. Being able to contribute financially and socially to this site. It has changed my life.
  9. My cats. They're always doing something that makes me laugh.
  10. My exercise routine. It's simple, short, and effective.

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What's your routine, if you don't mind me asking? I'm curious xD

  1. ?7 push ups
  2. 10 sit ups
  3. hamstring stretches
  4. Meditate for 20 minutes
  5. 7 push ups
  6. 10 sit ups
  7. hamstring stretches

If it's a work day, I try to climb 50 flights of stairs.

If it's not a work day, I just keep moving throughout the day and try to take walks.

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Today was a good day. I finally got back the results of quiz 2. I got everything correct including all extra credit for 108%, haha. I have a lot to do before the midterm on Tuesday, but at least I'm off to a good start in the semester. I just need to buckle down in the next few days and make things happen!

I went to the doctor today because of my continued stomach pains. It looks likely that I have gastritis. I need to eat blander foods and take it a little easier. Hopefully, I can slow down a bit after the midterm. The food thing is easy enough to take care of, and I got some medicine that will help my symptoms while I get everything else in line. It's not the first time I've had a bout with gastritis so I know I can get through this just fine. Also, I get to do blood work on Saturday to make sure it's nothing more serious. The good thing is that I'll also get to see my cholesterol levels since I started working on them.

I'm thankful for:

  1. My wife sending me the cutest picture of my baby today.
  2. Not suffering even though I'm having stretches of physical pain.
  3. Doing the responsible thing by going to the doctor instead of procrastinating.
  4. Getting close to the halfway point of the semester.
  5. Having a good doctor. I've seen too many poor ones in my life.
  6. My boss not giving me crap about missing time this week.
  7. Talking to my parents on the phone.
  8. Being able to lay back in the recliner and be still for a while.
  9. Having dinner made for me.
  10. My cats for not being too rude when I forgot to feed that exactly at their meal time. They're always nicer when I don't feel well.

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Today was another good, but very challenging day. I've been trying to focus the majority of my weekend on recovery and preparing for my midterm. Unfortunately, I didn't get a lot of things done during the week so they've been piling up. My poor wife was trying to get everything done while I studied, but it was too much and stressed her out pretty good. I ended up alternating between studying and chores all day. It was pretty hectic and stressful at times. What I really need to do is realize that everything doesn't always have to be perfect all the time. It's okay to study but not feel completely prepared, and it's okay to do chores but not get everything done. As long as I give 100%, which I do every single day, I need to smile and know that it was enough. I take on a lot and because of that, there will be times when I can get it all done.

I'm happy that my midterm is coming up on Tuesday! It's exciting because once it's done, I don't have to prepare for it anymore. I'm also thrilled that I have medicine for my stomach. It's been doing a bit better every day. Being back to normal is going to be great. My diet is restricted right now to bland foods which is a bummer, but I've been mindfully modifying my diet for the last few months so it hasn't really been very hard for me to do. I've been able to lose 30 pounds, get my cholesterol to a healthier level, and now I can fix my stomach. It's really amazing how much impact the foods we eat has on our lives.

Since I've been sick so much this week, I've actually had time to read (with my eyes) a book! I've been reading Siddhartha which is a really cool book. I would put it in a similar category as The Alchemist. I'm about halfway done with it and would recommend it as a fun and enlightening read. Has anybody read it and have thoughts?

My meditation sessions haven't been of the highest quality the last few day, but I'm sure that a lot of that has to do with the pain in my stomach. They're still helpful to remember to slow down, and just enjoy the moment regardless of my level of focus. At this point, I think I'm going to be meditating for the rest of my life. It's been such a life changing thing to just get to know myself in a way I never have.

I'm thankful for:

  1. Tom's get better message. It always helps to know that somebody is rooting for you!
  2. Slowly getting better.
  3. I'm only 5 pounds away from my goal weight.
  4. Swimming with my baby this morning. It's soooo much fun!
  5. Being able to sit back and relax for a little while and write my in journal.
  6. Taking my baby's 7 month photos in the autumn leaves!
  7. A wife who is willing to do whatever she can to help me be successful.
  8. Having so many things I want to accomplish in life. With a playful attitude and a joyful spirit, these things bring me joy!
  9. Dinner is almost ready!
  10. Having a warm home. Tonight is the first night where the temperature is going to dip below freezing.

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Yeah, it's counterintuitive but perfectionism is a fearsome enemy! I tend to strive for "80% perfect", then improve if I'm done taking other important stuff to the same level. Still I get carried away so many times that I feel my day is too short, while it's just my perception that is skewed.

I've been reading Siddhartha which is a really cool book. I would put it in a similar category as The Alchemist. I'm about halfway done with it and would recommend it as a fun and enlightening read. Has anybody read it and have thoughts?

?You mean the one by Hermann Hesse? I read it ages ago and I remember liking it quite a lot. My brother too. But then again I love Hesse and I read so many of his books that after fifteen years I'm starting to mix them up. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts ;)

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