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Daniel

90 Days Detox

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Day #38

Today I smelled a perfume which reminded me of the time when I was 12 years old. I used to buy a magazine called Club Nintendo. I remember vividly The Pokemon Snap cover. I used to love that magazine. Videogames were super exciting at that age.

 

Edited by Daniel

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I don't get it. You want to teach chess, but not play chess? Is it because it's a gaming too? 

As a hobby I am dropping it. I am simply not going out of my way to downtown or public libraries to play etc. You are right, makes no sense teaching and not playing, so I ain´t teaching either. I will simply focus on other hobbies and/or priorities.

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Day #39

It seems to me that I must focus on one project and drop mostly everything else. 1 goal at a time. I think today I remembered the game account I sold. Thought a bit about when I used to play. So far I have successfully avoided streams, or gaming news which is good. I used to be into that as well. 

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Day #40

Last night I slept late while sending an email. Then I started watching youtube videos urgh...So I had a bad morning. The day eventually got better but I feel I could have accomplished more. Sleeping late is definitely bad for productivity.

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Day #41

I need to get my finances in order. If I could get a way to get income through the public speaking workshop it would be awesome. A person from a private school tried to contact to get 16 students on the workshop. Let's see where does this goes. I need to set up a tax incorporation scheme so I can become a partner with the public library.

Lately it seems to me that I need more than 24 hours per day. I will keep improving the workshop. I am considering not going to late parties during some time. Getting drunk and sleeping late? Not possible work needs to get done.

 

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Day #36

Need to drink more water, I am currently on high protein and is making me thirsty all the time. Funny thing is it seems I eat more than before and I am actually losing weight.
I miss @Mettermrck insights and post I hope everything is going well for him. I feel dissapointed by not finding an AP for nofap but no worries.

I have noticed that my last entries are always about what is going on my life. I think this is key for a succesfuly detox, to make something out of your life and stop being a thread without an objective.

 

I miss Mettrck too he really made a difference in my detox as well!

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Day #42

Once again I messed up my morning routine. It is extremely important to start your morning with a bang! just like a bullet. Today I rememered an old MMORPG I used to play.

I was about to search it but stopped while typing it. What am I afraid of?

Next week is my third session of the workshop. It is more work than I assumed it to be. Also doing it with quality is more difficult than I thought.

Edited by Daniel

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Today I rememered an old MMORPG I used to play. I was about to search it but stopped while typing it. What am I afraid of?

What are you avoiding to face by searching it? ;)

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Today I rememered an old MMORPG I used to play. I was about to search it but stopped while typing it. What am I afraid of?

What are you avoiding to face by searching it? ;)

Going to mexican IRS and doing all the necessary paperwork.

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Day #43

Last night I found an AP from another forum, he seems to be knowledgeable on addictions. I have been noticing two things. At the afternoons I usually take a couple of mins at my bed and watch youtube. Also later in the afternoon I been having snacks. I am thinking of getting rid of these two habits, it would seem I do them without thinking about them.

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Day #44

My journal entries are getting shorter and shorter. I need to either implement a template or take more time journaling. I have thought about doing an overall journal of my life at word processor and simply copy paste it in both forum.

Today I thought two things about videogames. One was a game I used to play called Colony. I was in my late teens early twenties when I used to play it. It was just a flash game but I remember plenty about it. I also remembered than before the detox a perfect day would be being all day alone at the house just playing videogames, sometimes I would go to the gym just to get a break from videogames.

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Day #45

Current mood:

Light stress

I am grateful for:

My family, not having children, and music

Workout:

No

Cold Shower:

Yes (It barely felt cold, it´s too hot in here)

Minimalism/Declutter:

No (Have a plan for getting rid of most of my books)

Bed before 9PM

Probably not

What went well today:

I finally made a journal template (inspired by Alex The Grape)

What didn’t go well today:

I called too early for a cab to go to church; I forgot my belt, didn´t shave.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Get clothes ready earlier.

What I will do differently tomorrow:

I will watch my personal hygiene.

GameQuitters thoughts:

Today I watched a cinema scene from FFX. It was a craving for the past mostly. I used to be so into streamers of twitch and mobcrush. I am gonna check if those sites are blocked.

NoFap thoughts:

Some time ago I remembered, one could simply join this forum as a member of the opposite sex and start posting pretending to be someone else. Yesterday I saw a movie called “Get out”. There´s an actress called Allison Williams, there was a scene where she is in her underwear, this scene had a light arousal effect on me. The actress seemed more attractive as the movie progressed.

Thoughts:

I been thinking a lot of the past. I have a box full of journals. From time to time I read them. I also received a message from a person I used to wrote about in my old journals. I have been making playlists of old songs I used to listen. I have been digitalizing some journal entries and old love letters, before I burn them away. I do wonder if it would be pointless to burn them since I am getting them on digital format. The love letters are from a past relationship. It was almost 5 years ago. Even thought I have been in a new relationship since two years ago I can´t seem to move on from the past relationship. Maybe I am not allowing myself to do it. I do have a romantic view about that past relationship. The relationship ended in a bad note. I also want to write a book with all those old journals and that past relationship will be likely mentioned. Perhaps a book in the style Of Cortazar´s Hopsotch were there novel is wrote in several layers.

Current Mood:

I feel better.

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Day #46

Current mood:

A Little pissed of at myself.

I am grateful for:

My mind, my health, my freedom.

Workout:

Weightlifting

Cold Shower:

Yes

Minimalism/Declutter:

No

Bed before 9PM

No

What went well today:

I got some things done from my list to do

What didn’t go well today:

I didn’t finish the list, felt I procrastinated to much

What I could have done to make my day better:

I need to tighten up the filters on my cellphone

What I will do differently tomorrow:

I will respect my time for each activity.

GameQuitters thoughts:

Today I remembered the LeeRoy Jenkins video. I also imagine dan Age of Empires version for Game of Thrones, that would be pretty cool, haha.

NoFap thoughts:

I have an entry from sept 4, where I remembered a magazine I used for M. also a remembered soap opera with two models that I found attractive.

Thoughts:

I need to respect my time and my activities. Procastinating needs to get dealt with. I feel like I could get so much more things done but I am not doing it. I also need to Factory reset my cellphone and reinstal filters. I feel a bit angry at myself for not respecting my own time. Today while working out I listened to song that reminded me of my past relationship. I also tried to find out if my feelings are a mix of fear and love. It amazes me the ammount of energy and feelings I still have on that past relationship. What is the meaning of this? During the past days I thought about contacting her. I don’t have fantasies of getting back together. But I do wonder how is she. Sometimes I feel like asking forgiveness for the things I did to her (and the things that I didn’t do as well). I feel so comfortable with loneliness and melancholy.

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Other than feeling guilty, I hope you're not repeating a lot scenes in your mind - the ones where you could have proven yourself right? Like "damn, I should have used that argument there". Sometimes people replay these things IRL in next relationship to be right this time.

(Full disclosure: I was guilty of such thoughts, but thanfully each time I refrained from replaying a quarrel from one relationship in another)

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Other than feeling guilty, I hope you're not repeating a lot scenes in your mind - the ones where you could have proven yourself right? Like "damn, I should have used that argument there". Sometimes people replay these things IRL in next relationship to be right this time.

(Full disclosure: I was guilty of such thoughts, but thanfully each time I refrained from replaying a quarrel from one relationship in another)

I had a similar phase but it was long ago. But it was more "I should have done this for the relationship" "I could have done this for the relationship". 

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Day # 46

Current mood: I feel slightly happy

 

I am grateful for: My grandmother, my aunt and the internet.

 

Workout: Cardio

 

Cold Shower: Yes


Green Tea: Yes

 

Minimalism/Declutter: Got rid of a póker briefcase

 

Bed before 9PM: Probably not, but I am improving

 

What went well today: I did plenty of things of my to do list.

 

What didn’t go well today: I procrastinated a bit in the morning after waking up

 

What I could have done to make my day better: Getting up from bed right away

 

What I will do differently tomorrow: I will keep improving my journal experience, I will improve my sleep schedule

 

GameQuitters thoughts: I been getting rid of some poker stuff. I thought on playing online poker (I always wanted to get good at poker) and thought of downloading poker software but dismissed the idea until I get 90 days, then it can be considered, but I will need to meditate on it a lot.

NoFap thoughts: I have been thinking about pornstar names, I have forgotten some names but not all of them. Last night I felt a craving while laying down in bed with my cellphone. I also thought of calling my girlfriend to we could meet tomorrow, but I didn’t. There’s a persistant memory of a pornstar I really liked, luckily I forgot her name. If I tried really hard I probably could remember it.

Thoughts: A movie helped me understand the reason I felt connected to my past relationship. I am thinking I am spreading too thin. I need to focus on getting myself a place to be more independent. I considering journaling in the morning and the evening and getting a Most Important Tasks (MIT) section. I also added Green Tea.

Current mood:
Slightly stressed

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Day # 47

 

Current mood:

 

Tired and happy

 

I am grateful for:

 

The public library, public transport and the public gym.

 

Workout:

 

Weightlifting

 

Cold Shower:

 

Yes

Green Tea

No

 

Minimalism/Declutter:

 

No

 

Bed before 9PM

 

No

 

What went well today:

 

The public speaking workshop went great, less people but everyone performed awesome

 

What didn’t go well today:

 

Arrived late to the gym. I procrastinated too much in the morning, while working for the workshop. I also saw my girlfriend, she needed to make some time, but I just can’t seem to focus when she is around.

 

What I could have done to make my day better:

 

I need to get that app that measures the time you spent on each activity.

 

What I will do differently tomorrow:

 

I will smile more.

 

GameQuitters thoughts:

 

I was trying to compare the public speaking workshop and the MOBA I used to play but there’s no point. I feel no cravings while I am happy and relaxed. I had small cravings when I am in bed and feel stressed.

 

 

Thoughts:

 

Some days like today, I felt there are not enough hours in the day. I have realized that most conversations I have with my girlfriend I find them boring. When she talks about intimate stuff it get’s me interested. But when she talks to me about news and similar stuff I need to pretend. I just take a Deep breath and try listening to her.

 

Current mood:

 

Sleepy, tired, happy

Edited by Daniel

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"I have been thinking about pornstar names, I have forgotten some names but not all of them. Last night I felt a craving while laying down in bed with my cellphone. I also thought of calling my girlfriend to we could meet tomorrow, but I didn’t."

I wonder why? This alternative is so much better.

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"I have been thinking about pornstar names, I have forgotten some names but not all of them. Last night I felt a craving while laying down in bed with my cellphone. I also thought of calling my girlfriend to we could meet tomorrow, but I didn’t."

I wonder why? This alternative is so much better.

I didn´t want to, as I was very busy that day, but we actually met anyway, we ate together, had some kisses and hugs. I can´t really focus when she is around.

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Day # 48

Current mood:

Excited

I am grateful for:

Email, Phone, and Valentina

Workout:

Weightlifting

Cold Shower:

Yes

Green Tea

Yes

Minimalism/Declutter:

2 items

Bed before 9PM

Probably not, but at leas the laptop will be turned off before 9pm

What went well today:

Got my room cleaned, got 2 clients leads, got a reunion with 1 of them next week

What didn’t go well today:

I am still procrastinating too much for my taste.

What I could have done to make my day better:

Set a youtube filter for my cellphone

What I will do differently tomorrow:

I will wear better clothes

GameQuitters thoughts:

During my cellphone Factory reset I saw some old pictures of the MOBA I used to play. I think I still wish I found a way to get paid by playing it. I sold a couple of game accounts, and I remember considered to keep playing and selling accounts.

Thoughts:

It seems to me that memories of the past, and emotions of the past can give me a high emotion/energy. A long time ago a psychologist told me that my personality was Melancholic/Artistic. I think this theory is obsolete now. I have noticed this personality to be flourishing since I started my detox. I wish I could afford a long therapy program with a psychologist. I need more ways to generate income. I feel excited for next week. Today I got answer from a private university to make a 3 hour workshop, they want to have a meeting next week. The other lead I got from a phonecall from one of my students. I will do my best to give great value in both leads so I can receive proper payment. Listening to awesome music, having your feet soaked in apple cider vinegar, while journaling… is there anything better in life?

Current mood:

Hungry, lol


Pic is from a young Hannigan

alyson2.thumb.jpg.a2a25ccef16ff8b3d816f3

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Day # 49

 

Current mood:

 

Annoyed

 

I am grateful for:

 

My cousin, my girlfriend, my father

 

Workout:

 

Weightlifting

 

Cold Shower:

 

Yes

 

Green Tea

No

Minimalism/Declutter:

 

No

 

Bed before 9PM

 

No

 

What went well today:

 

Finally got a debit card with no fees

 

What didn’t go well today:

 

I also wanted to go to the IRS but took too much time at the bank. Had a nap in the afternoon and didn’t get any job done. I declined to see my family so I could get work done and I ended up sleeping. I had to make my journal entry all over again from scratch, I must admit, it pissed me off.

 

What I could have done to make my day better:

 

Set a 20 min alarm for naps. Be more assertive. Talk louder.

 

What I will do differently tomorrow:

 

I will answer closed questions with a yes or no. I will talk louder.

 

GameQuitters thoughts:

 

Really? I had long writting about the MOBA I used to play, no I don’t wanna write anything. The conclusión was that my temperament while playing the MOBA was aggresive. In chess I also had that style but I adopted a strategic and calm style. Thinking about this makes me think that I should be more aggresive in other aspects of my life. Remembering the MOBA gave me cravings and made me feel bad. I thought about writting a guide for the game but dismissed the idea. I also thought: “Why I can’t be normal and be able to play games in moderation?”

 

 

Thoughts:

 

I am annoyed that I had to write this again. I wrote less than the original. My Schedule is slowly getting more and more activities.

 

Current mood:

 

Tired

Edited by Daniel

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"I thought about writting a guide for the game but dismissed the idea. I also thought: “Why I can’t be normal and be able to play games in moderation?”" 

IMHO, one needs to play moba constantly to do it well because of constant patches. This is what turned me off the genre, I wanted something to let the steam off, not another (odd) chore. 

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Day # 50

Current mood:

 

Ok

 

I am grateful for:

 

My girlfriend, Spotify, and GameQuitters

 

Workout:

 

No

 

Cold Shower:

 

Yes

 

Green Tea

 

No

 

Minimalism/Declutter:

 

No

 

Bed before 9PM

 

Probably not

 

What went well today:

 

Date with girlfriend, bought few groceries

 

What didn’t go well today:

 

Very slow morning, light craving of videogames

 

What I could have done to make my day better:

 

Shave first thing in the morning

 

What I will do differently tomorrow:

 

Take a deep breath and smile

 

GameQuitters thoughts:

 

Last night I slept late due to cravings. Cam’s video was a lifesaver. I started to think about all the responsabilities of the upcoming week. Negative thoughts entered my mind and I thought of taking refuge on videogames. I will face all my responsabilities. I am confident on myself to solve any problema I come across

 

Thoughts:

 

A quote for today…

It is always important to understand the reality of any situation that you might come across. Instead of trying to avoid reality, face it head on and run over it like a freight train. This is called success.

 

Current mood:

 

Motivated

 

 

Edited by Daniel

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