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Moe Smith

Quit it all! Gaming wasn't enough.

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Hello everyone! 

So I thought I would share this, because it's been so fantastic for me thus far. I'm on my 10th day of the 90 day detox. Woo!! 1/9 the way there!!! That's not the point of this post though. I found my magic bullet 10.5 days ago when I decided to quit all of my vices. 

I've been a gamer since I was 3. I'm almost 29 now so that's 26 years of gaming. Since I was in high school, about 14 years ago, I've struggled with motivation and quitting games, and making my life work the way I wanted it to. I haven't had a horrible life by any means, but I always had this idea in my mind that I was meant for more than I was doing. At times I have been depressed and down right loathed myself because of how I was. This has been happening for almost 1.5 decades! That's a lot of time for self hate. 

I had an internal conversation with myself ten and a half days ago, where I realized that even though I had quit gaming innumerable times before, I still fell back into the old traps, and I always relapsed. I figured out that my problem wasn't only my primary addiction, it was also my secondary, tertiary, or even quaternary or further addictions. Video games was certainly main addiction, but every single time that I left gaming, I would just pick up the dopamine highs somewhere else. Anime, Netflix, porn, movies, online comics & manga, browsing the internet, researching games instead of playing, or Youtube would become the new gaming in a "Green is the new red," sort of way. When I realized that these alternate activities felt the exact same way as gaming did, I figured out that they were drugging me on dopamine just like gaming was. There was no difference at all! 

At that moment, I decided that I needed to get rid of all my vices for my 90 day detox. I've quit gaming, porn, t.v. shows, access comics, game researching, and even alcohol. Drinking hasn't ever been a problem for me, but I wanted to cut it out anyways just so I didn't have anything mucking with my brain. Drugs and smoking have never been a thing for me, but I would have done it if they were. 

The results have been AMAZING! I am happy, I can actually FEEL emotions in my life again, and I'm not some dumb robot imitating what I should feel on my face. I'm excited to be productive, I want to do my homework and succeed in school, I'm looking forward to planning activities with my friends. And maybe best of all, I'm not ashamed of myself anymore. I'm happy with who I am, and who I'm about to be come tomorrow, then the day after that, etc. 

This is honestly the best I've felt in my entire adult life. 

So! With that being said, if you're having some struggles with the 90 day challenge and you aren't feeling accomplished or like enough has changed for you, I would recommend taking out more of your vices. Start stripping away more of the things that make you feel like you're lazy and anything that makes that inner little voice say "You're a piece of shit." I'm not saying everyone needs to do this, but if you're like me, and NOTHING else was working no matter what you tried, maybe this can be your magic bullet too. I hope it helps any of you out there! 

Best, 

Moe

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I am very happy for you! You doing great! Be aware of alcohol because this evil thing can make things worse because you have less control over yourself. I feel finally like human being too and its perfect feeling! But be aware when you have bad days or bad mood. In this moment cravings are high AF. And one thing. If you experiencing that you are in control be aware because it is may be a trap! If you start thinking about porn etc run away for god sake from home and walk (Not alway but you know what i mean).When i read your story i pretty well find myself in there. I wish you much strong as you can possess. 

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Moe, you're doing awesome. As someone who's also quitting multiple addictions at once, I can guess at the struggles and withdrawal symptoms you're pushing through while still maintaining such a positive attitude. It's like dopamine withdrawal x10! And you're conquering it...like a boss. 

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Thanks guys! Things aren't as bad as you might think. Obtaining the knowledge that I was low on willpower because of the overdose of dopamine was like an honest to goodness miracle for me. I had spent so many years searching for a way to get past that. Once I had the answer, "Stop doping on dopamine and your willpower will come back," and I was suddenly hooked on HAVING willpower. It's been such an incredible new high to act like the man I want to be, instead of the screen zombie I was. 

That's not to say that things have been easy. I was in a grocery store a couple of days ago with my wife, and I saw a gift card for WoW with a Night Elf on the front of it. Suddenly my mind and heart sprung to the prospect that I wanted to play that. I caught myself and recognized the trigger and told my wife about it. She said she loved me and believe in me, and the urge was gone. But for a few seconds there, I felt like I was back to being an addict. Threw me for a loop pretty bad. 

The most prevalent addiction has been porn. I haven't imbibed in porn throughout this whole process. I've come across a couple of annoying sexy adds that I shouldn't have clicked on, but I decided to stay true to my detox and I backed out quickly. But porn is like the sneaky brain ninja of addictions. There are SO many triggers out there. Commercials, anime, sexy ads, attractive women on the street, my attractive wife, my physiology just feeling horny because Man, I got flashed at a party over the weekend, etc. I think that one will be my biggest nemesis overall. Changing my mindset about women, and eventually losing all these involuntary dirty thoughts is going to be a long slow process unfortunately. I'm still working on it though. Just keeping myself stupid busy right now, hopefully that will help get me through the hump.... uggg... accidental porn pun unintended. 

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Great job Moe. I'm with you on the porn it's the worst of my addictions and I'm glad I'm kicking it. I haven't found it that tough so far. The biggest struggle with me is the same involuntary ads/women you talk about and fapping. Detoxing from that is tooough. Good job again!

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[...]

The most prevalent addiction has been porn. I haven't imbibed in porn throughout this whole process. I've come across a couple of annoying sexy adds that I shouldn't have clicked on, but I decided to stay true to my detox and I backed out quickly. But porn is like the sneaky brain ninja of addictions. There are SO many triggers out there. Commercials, anime, sexy ads, attractive women on the street, my attractive wife, my physiology just feeling horny because Man, I got flashed at a party over the weekend, etc. I think that one will be my biggest nemesis overall. Changing my mindset about women, and eventually losing all these involuntary dirty thoughts is going to be a long slow process unfortunately. I'm still working on it though. Just keeping myself stupid busy right now, hopefully that will help get me through the hump.... uggg... accidental porn pun unintended. 

I'm in the same boat as you. I agree with you that porn seems to be one of the hardest addictions, at least for me. So many triggers.

 

Keep the good job, Moe and Mett. One day we can all say we're free from all these addictions! :)

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Porn has been a very difficult thing for me as well!

I have been using it about 6 to 7 years and it has pushed me down the river.I am on my day 4 without porn and I am facing a lot of cravings and 2 wild dreams within a week.

I used to game a lot of Idle games and I was staying up all night until I was so exhausted then I put a porn on top and after that I thought like 

Oh well then I can keep gaming... ? 

It was screwed up and I talked to my brother how reliefed I am.

A couple weeks ago I had difficulties to sleep because I was gaming gaming through 2  nights. I was worried about me getting not enough sleep. I was extremely sleep deprived...it felt like shit and honestly it began to get dangerous for me personally.

Now I can surely say that I can sleep and there is no force holding me back from sleeping.!!!!!!

 

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That's awesome! Sleep deprivation from gaming can be seriously damaging! One time I stayed up all night gaming, then had to drive 30 minutes to get to school. I fell asleep on the freeway and woke up a couple of seconds before I hit a large paint van! I made them do a 360 on the freeway. A super pissed Russian guy came out, but he calmed down really quickly once he saw how terrified I was. 

No one got hurt, and the insurance and stuff was pretty minimal, but if it hadn't gone so well someone could have died!

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Sounds very familiar. I am on day 70 of the detox, but I still feel like I am drugging myself with other similar activities often with the sole purpose to escape reality or fill the time. 

I tried nofap in the past, but gave it up again. Maybe after seeing how surprisingly easy it was to quit gaming, and the strategies I learned from gamequitters, I can build on this success and apply it to more areas.

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Hey Moe Smith, 

I think I have just the same problem. Browsing youtube mindlessly was something that I have done but now I have stopped it. And I quess that's why my gaming detox hasn't helped like for others. Now I use internet only productive things. But I don't know does it help. Well I can't quit internet overall that's a fact. So I'll try it. 

Also, that's amazing you can feel real emotions. I've also had no emotions, but I hope this helps. I hope. ?

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