No Games, No Reddit. play_time_is_over.

[play_time_is_over]

It's all learning and it's all helping you get to where you want to be. Enjoy the process.

Agreed enjoying the process is a large part of it for sure.

I'm feeling a little hesitant this week - possibly something to do with having a cold. I have opportunities to meet up with girls but I am not diving into them. It's always easier to sit at home and do nothing isn't it?

No excuses though, I've given myself an easy day today to recover. I will sleep in tomorrow to really knock it out of my system then I'm back to it. 103 days game free!! Gotta keep working for that 180day transformation story

I want to be able to say after quitting games I got into shape, got girl(s) and got high distinctions at uni. 

[Cam Adair]

It's always easier to sit at home and do nothing isn't it?

Even with all the growth and progress I've made over the last EIGHT years, sitting at home doing nothing is still very appealing. You just get way, way better at recognizing that temptation and doing the thing you truly want to do.

[play_time_is_over]

Fuck I'm so pissed off. My luck with girls lately has been TERRIBLE. I'm getting very impatient, lots of time wasters and polite rejections. I MUST GET BETTER LOOKING. Recovering from a cold right now doesn't help things. It's just such a slow process that requires patience.

Something is holding me back from going full HAM, like I need to transcend into a new realm of existence. I need to really put myself out there and stop trying to find the easy way, to soft way, the comfortable way.

The only way to be good with girls is to willing to get REJECTED.

The only way to get good with making products is to be willing TO WORK 12 HOURS STRAIGHT.

The only way to get a good physique is to be willing to EAT FOOD YOU DON'T WANT TO.

To just go to the extreme, jump in the deep end, immerse yourself, work so hard at changing who you are you have an identity crisis. Live without reservations and no regrets. Do what you want like consequences don't exist. Stop playing it safe and just go for it. Stop waiting and start doing it. I'm gonna go crazy. Staying away from videos games is really important right now though.

Why do games feel so alluring right now? because they can save me from this struggle. They can liberate me from these emotions, this anger, this frustration. That's exactly why I need to stay away from them. I feel myself hardening up, I'm giving less of a fuck with each passing day. 

[Cam Adair]

I love the passion in your post. The insight I invite you to think about is that to be good does not mean you need to be miserable. Nor does it mean you need to hate the journey, or punish yourself to success. It's more about aligning your actions with your values.

That's where the game changes.

I eat extremely healthy. Top 1% of diets in the world, no sugar, no processed foods, organic everything, veggies, real protein and few carbs other than real carbs (sweet potatoes). I don't drink alcohol, etc. And I've gained a steady few pounds over the past few months, I'm in the best physical shape of my life, and so forth. 

It has nothing to do with eating food you don't want to. It's about eating the food that makes you feel how you want to feel. My food is delicious, and it just so happens that it not only helps me look my best physically, but it makes me feel the best internally as well, full of energy and so forth.

Working 12 hours straight is different than working hard. You can work 12 hours straight on the wrong shit and you'll get nowhere. But working one hour on the right shit probably won't cut it either. 

Anyways, just a few thoughts to throw your way. Your passion and determination to be great is really good. But your results will always come from the amount of responsibility you take for them. Your results will usually be a reflection of your commitment to living in alignment with your values. Luck plays a very small role with anything - especially women. Blaming luck is merely you shifting blame to something outside of yourself. Which unfortunately, also tends to be something you can't control. See how the cycle goes?

Now that doesn't mean you blame yourself. Blame is only one step towards shame and shame won't inspire you to change. Taking responsibility though, that means things are within your control. That may not get that girl to call you back, but it will allow you to learn whatever you can from it, and that learning, over time, is what will get the next girl to call you back. 

The struggle is necessary for you to grow. All of the emotions, the anger, the frustration you feel is helping you grow. If you choose to grow from it. And that choice is always yours. Which is something that is always in your control.

[play_time_is_over]

Last night a girl came over and we got it onnnn haha. Wouldnt get this far if I was playing games.

[WorkInProgress]

 

Last night a girl came over and we got it onnnn haha. Wouldnt get this far if I was playing games.

good for you!

[Cam Adair]

Last night a girl came over and we got it onnnn haha. Wouldnt get this far if I was playing games.

[play_time_is_over]

Day 110 of no games. 

 

feeling like I'm doing well, plugging along nicely. Im going to hang out with that girl again on Thursday. It's wierd i enjoyed the hugging / intimacy more than the sex. I really am a relationship kind of guy. She's not big into texting so it feels wierd not talking to someone you been with. Its hard to know if she even likes me.

Just down helping my parents move, lots of hard work and early mornings. Will make some good money.

 

Also Im quitting porn again (day 4) now that I can get real intimacy I see no need for it.

Edited August 14, 2016 by play_time_is_over

[Cam Adair]

110 days is amazing. Well done man! Be proud of yourself.

[WorkInProgress]

Hey gj on the 110days. I think intimacy is more important then haivng sex too. That beeing said sex is awesome :). Just remember that building a relationship needs as much work (or even more) as getting a girl. But the work is really worth it!

[Mad Pharmacist]

110 Days? Be careful man. It the time, when most people get relapsed after accomplished detox.

And btw. congrats if you know how to handle a relationship with woman for longer than half a year!

Greetings, Mad Pharmacist

[play_time_is_over]

I texted that girl and haven't had a response back in 4 hours. I know I'm being like an insecure little school girl right now but I guess confidence takes a while to build up, especially because 2 girls didn't want to see me again and that is somehow more concerning to me. Even though she came over and she asked me to call her back 2x I feel like she doesn't like me, has found someone else, or just has gotten bored. It's really weird. Only time will tell, either.

1) she texts me back excited to meet up and dispels my insecurities.

2) my insecurities are confirmed to which I feel like shit for a day or two but then toughen up and learn to live in a harsher world.

So far everything has been 2). Which is good because I was too emotionally soft and life is generally one disappointment after another the majority of the time. So one needs to go through the phases of disappointment until they're mentally built up enough to not be concerned with the little things. It's also important to keep going on new dates and meeting new girls in case it falls through.

The good news is my friend from uni called me today and it sounded like he missed me over the weekend haha (no homo). Thats good for me because I really feel like he has more to offer me than I have to offer him and I worry sometimes I'm not on "his level" enough to have a good friendship.

Having a strong friendship or 2 is really important for me right now, even more important than a relationship.

 

What I've noticed over the last few weeks of my no-gaming adventure is that loniliness truly rots the soul and it's extremely difficult to "build" oneself when you're alone / lonely all the time. It's like growing a plant, we clear the weeds and trim the branches that hurt the plant while nurturing it and guiding it forward, but being lonely is as if the plant is rotting from the inside.

Edited August 16, 2016 by play_time_is_over

[Cam Adair]

I had a girl not respond to a text from me today. No sweat man, keep focusing on the goals you have beyond women and it will help you not focus too intently on whether they reply to you or not.

[play_time_is_over]

Absolutely Cam. She did end up texting me back, we're meeting tomorrow. While Im happy with the outcome I realise it could drop at any second. 

 

We should only worry about what is in our control. In the case of women we can always work on our appearance or talk to new/more girls, but we cant control hoe the interaction with any one girl will go.

[d.manuk]

You are really handsome and tall so you should not worry too much about romance.

Edited August 18, 2016 by Shine Magical

[Cam Adair]

Absolutely Cam. She did end up texting me back, we're meeting tomorrow. While Im happy with the outcome I realise it could drop at any second. 

 

We should only worry about what is in our control. In the case of women we can always work on our appearance or talk to new/more girls, but we cant control hoe the interaction with any one girl will go.

Be open to all outcomes and attached to none.

[play_time_is_over]

day 116.

Bad Day, very tempted to relapse. Been feeling a bit down, miss my ex-gf. Miss being in a relationship. Haven't been to the gym in like 5 days, and haven't been to Aikido either - probably has something to do with it. I'll go to the gym today, even though it will be by myself.

I guess lazy Saturday mornings is kind of like that, everyone is relaxing or with their partner and I'm alone here coding. Trying to code at least, going very slowly. Would be great to switch off for a bit and just play a game. 

I realise what makes me happy isn't getting this or that, its making progress. Progress makes me happy, but when you make progress and kind of realise what you're working towards you don't want - its disheartening. 

I guess I've been trying hard to get fit and get girls and now that I'm achieving my goals I realise I already had what I wanted, but at the same time I didn't. It's strange. I guess my dreams break down into 2 scenarios:

Dream 1) I have a fun job in a creative field and an awesome gf.

Dream 2) Rich, successful, attractive, life is my bitch.

I remember the day I decided to dump my gf. She was sitting on my bed watching TV and I was playing GrimDawn on my computer. Back then it made me sick to my stomach, but now I think it wouldn't be so bad, at least for a day...

[Cam Adair]

Have you read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida yet?

[gloriousclover]

Have you read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida yet?

Cool reference. I happened to watch this just yesterday. Maybe you'll find it helpful too as a general summary

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JPV43NCakY

 

[play_time_is_over]

Have you read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida yet?

definitely going to read this cam. Ive found books hugely motivating in the past.

[play_time_is_over]

I'm just at this weird stage where I have no idea wtf I want to do. I'm extremely unfufilled.

When I dumped my gf 3 months ago I said to myself "In 3 months I wont regret this decision". Well it's 3 months later and I still fucking regret it. I'm almost considering trying to win her back. I feel like our relationship would be a lot better now that I'm in shape, and not playing games. They say the best way to get over a girl is get a new one. Well I did and I'm still not over her? It wasn't perfect with her, but I was a lot happier than I am now. Eh, I'm going to see if it's at all possible.

[Cam Adair]

Takes time bro. Took me 8 months to get over my last ex. It's a process.

[Piotr]

I can't forget mine ex after 5 years, but I remember that this is past, this is over. I just focus on other aspects of happiness with my current gf.

[Daniel]

It's hard to forget something you loved. Not sure if it's even possible. I still fondly remember all my past relationships, but I also remember the reasons why we broke up.
Past relationships are not about forgetting them, but overcoming them and moving on. While right now you can think of all the good things, there's a reason (or several) why you are not still together.

[play_time_is_over]

Its hard because I see her all the time at uni. 

 

This weekend I got really down but I think it was a good thing, to work through thise emotions a bit. 

 

I've been slacking off on setting up dates. However I've been making great progress at uni. I did a semi approach on a girl at uni today, dipping my toes in.

 

I remebered something I learnt from my dojo today. Hinokshin or the pratise of helping others. If you only try to help yourself you will be miserable, if you help others while expecting nothingin return your life will be joyful. Thats how you make friends, thats how people like you - by giving value.

 

Gave a friend at uni a pretty good business plan for his sports clothing comoany he just launched. (Free fitness plan to beef up followers + Branding identity stuff) so hopefully it helps.

 

Been going hard at the gym last 3 days.