Duncan's Daily

[notyung]

17th May 2016 - Day 5

This would be my fifth day of detoxing so I will be starting with day 5.

My experience of the past 5 days has been a gruelling one. 

The first steps were far more emotional than I predicted; turning my back on great friends I had been playing games with for years with from across the globe so I could rectify my failing social and academic life and what made it far worse was how understanding they all were. Deleting my various accounts proved just as emotional as if I considered the countless memories I acquired from them, which I could always reflect on with a smile, a contemptuous mistake. In part that is how I feel. 

The decision to ultimately discard the only lifestyle I've ever known is driven by an urge to take responsibility for my own failures and discover who I am without a computer screen glued to my face 8 hours a day. I had previously discovered who I was by chance a number of years a go...

As I detailed my in introduction post, I will be studying in Seoul, South Korea beginning in September. During a placement I got during University I lived in a town popular with eager language students looking to improve their English. It was also in this town that I had to involuntarily give up gaming due to my rented room's dismal internet connection which I required to feed my addiction. However, this apparent nuisance turned into a blessing as I became a much more out-going/healthy person who somehow managed to become friends with a group of Koreans studying at a local language centre. I discovered a new passion in not only helping my friends improve their English but also learning the Korean language and culture from them. This fascination planted the idea of studying in South Korea like they did so in England, and now two years on I have the chance to live that dream. NONE of this would have occurred if I happened to rent a room with a solid internet connection and frankly that makes me scared to imagine my life today if I did.

So now I've detailed my motivation for quitting cold-turkey I'll go into how I've been spending the previous 5 days. Boredom, restlessness, agitation. My concept of day length has changed dramatically. From seemingly not enough hours in the day to a plethora. I've filled time with studying Korean, pacing, walking outside while the famously short British summer is under way, I further comb every detail of moving to another county, I allow myself TV in the evening but make a point to associate daylight with productivity, I've always been a runner so I had that from day one at least, and finally my room has never been cleaner.

Still, I've never felt emptier. I guess that's the effect off-loading what was a huge portion of your identity does to a person. 

I tried to keep it short but it's a start at least and it is a relief to have a place to express myself. If you made it this far hello to you, have a nice day and Ill see you in future.

 

 

[kortheo]

Hey Duncan, welcome to the forum. Props for deleting your accounts already - that was a huge step for me and I didn't manage to do that until 90 days of not playing.

You seem to have the right mindset so if you commit to this I'm sure you'll do fine. Definitely post daily if possible, you will find a lot of support, encouragement, and solid advice on the forum.

It's somewhat ironic that South Korea, perhaps the place where video games have the highest status out of any culture that I'm aware of, is the place that you're going when giving up gaming. Haha, not that it matters much. Just interesting coincidence.

[notyung]

It's somewhat ironic that South Korea, perhaps the place where video games have the highest status out of any culture that I'm aware of, is the place that you're going when giving up gaming. Haha, not that it matters much. Just interesting coincidence.

Yeah it's very ironic. It will be interesting going into bars and seeing the games I obsessed over broadcast on TV

[Paul A.]

Welcome to the forums Duncan!

The first couple of days will always be pretty difficult, you just have to be able to get through the first week and then things will get better. Also, finding an new activity will also help a lot.

Good job on deleting your accounts, it must have been pretty difficult to throw away a part of your whole life. Just remind yourself that it's ultimately for your benefit.

Definitely keep posting, it will help you in your detox, and you will get valuable support from your fellow GameQuitters.

[Cam Adair]

Great job getting your journal up. I hope to visit Seoul sometime, maybe when you're there

[Mad Pharmacist]

Greeting from The Pharmacist!

It's great to see you on the forum Duncan!

I see that you did a lot of progress during last 5 days and the feeling of emptiness will just wear off after some time.

Just continue what you're wrighting and be consistent. That's the best you can do right now.

Can't wait to see your next entries!

Edited May 18, 2016 by hycniejsy
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[Piotr]

It's great technique to make a list why you quit games. This reminder is really helpfull in though moments when you feel urge or cravings.

[notyung]

It's great technique to make a list why you quit games. This reminder is really helpfull in though moments when you feel urge or cravings.

Thanks, I did do this and it works like a charm doesn't it

[notyung]

18th May 2016 - Day 6

The difference between today and the previous is the same difference between night and day. Here's how it all happened...

Since discovering this site I had been trawling through many journals and posts looking to learn from the experiences of others who were far far deeper into a detox than I was. So to everyone who posts their journey a thank you is in order, and keep it up!

So what did I do differently today?

#1 I was quick out of bed. I had a previous bad habit of loitering and browsing the internet on my laptop for a couple hours. Not today. 

#2 Made the bed. Simple but effective. This action alone snowballed into further chores being accomplished which I easily did in the time I would previously have spent wondering what Donald Trump was up to this time or checking out the latest highlights from games/sports. 

#3 Found an app called HelloTalk. The perfect app for anyone who is committed to learning a language. I would describe it as tinder for those looking for a language partner rather than, well, you know. This app alone I've been on for what is now 6 hours and the only reason I've stopped is because it is 2am in Korea and my partners are all sleeping, compared to me cooking at 7pm. The time has flown by as we've been finding out each others goals, learning from each other, and just shooting the breeze. The beauty I think about this app is that it isn't just for people who have a desire to learn a language, but it is also for people who have a desire to help teach their native tongue, or even just make friend across the globe. One girl I've been talking to has been helping me with my pronunciation and conversational skills and is simply happy to do so without anything in return. Her English is exceptional anyway and more comprehensible than most Englishmen I've spoken to (I'm looking at you Liverpudlians ).  

So here I am now writing my entry with an evening a head of me. Which after today you can bet I'm spending it revising my vocabulary, spelling, grammar.

I can't show up empty handed tomorrow can I

On a side note, I packed my desktop computer away to free up more desk space. Since quitting I realised how little I need it and that is a relief. The most difficult part about that was just how heavy the damn thing was; I like to think it had grown fat on all the wasted time I poured into it. 

Cheers, see ya tomorrow

 

 

 

Edited May 18, 2016 by notyung

[notyung]

Great job getting your journal up. I hope to visit Seoul sometime, maybe when you're there

Hell yeah, it's a marvellous city. I don't doubt you'd love it if you haven't been already

[Cam Adair]

Great job getting your journal up. I hope to visit Seoul sometime, maybe when you're there

Hell yeah, it's a marvellous city. I don't doubt you'd love it if you haven't been already

I haven't yet but I'd love to! I really want to see Tokyo as well. So when I do I imagine I will travel around a bit.

[notyung]

19th May 2016 - Day 7

The one week mark. Hard to believe it was last week I was spending my days playing grinding on Runescape. Even after just a single week I can see the difference in my life is staggering. If you knew me before and I described my life to you now you'd think I was a completely different person or maybe the long lost twin of the gaming shut-in. I don't know whether it was a consequence of discovering this website and the numerous posts and experiences of people I could empathise with or not, but since that day I've felt far more driven daily and lacked the emptiness I expressed in my first post.

Today I was an involuntary shut-in due to the heavy rain but I had to pack my things and clean the flat because I am moving out tomorrow anyway; 250 miles south to an English town famous for a certain battle in 1066. It is there I will be working, spending time with family to help them adjust to their new home, and preparing for my move later this year to Seoul. I've been to Hastings many times before. The chalk cliffs and beaches that define the landscape are amazing and I get to spend the summer in their company along with Victorian era piers which spring to life during these months. Summary: Can't complain. 

There are a number of goals I wish to achieve during this limbo chapter of my life so I thought I share them here.

#1 Join the local running club

#2 Work hard in my jobs to save a lot of money

#3 Help my parents whenever they need me around their house to make their life easier

#4 Continue my Korean studies daily

Well, see you in a couple of days depending on how smoothly the move goes. 

Have a nice day

 

[Cam Adair]

Congrats on your first week, really proud of you! 

[WorkInProgress]

Good job man! Seems like you are on a good way.

[Piotr]

Runescape was my life destroyer too. Although I love this game, it's one of the greatest I ever know and I have very good memories with it. I know that this game can take your life. You can read over the internet, how many RS addicts there are over the world and you can easily see that this game contains so many mechanics to make you addicted, that you can think of it as intentionaly designed virtual drug. I couldn't stop playing it, that's why I know I should and started my detox. Now, I'm 74 days Runescape free. And you can be too, you've got my support on this 

[gloriousclover]

Awesome post regarding the HelloTalk. I've used italki before for Spanish but fell off the habit. I'm definitely making a note of that one.