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Yan

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Entry 10.05 (Written on 11.05)

Day 589: No Useless Videos
Day 586: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 190: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 181: Being in bed before 23:15


3 Things I did well no matter how small
-8 pomodoros! !! (Day 😎 - Even though it was the first-time i did one of them after 18, still I completed all 8 so It counts 😉 )
-The bare minimum of 3 hours of deliveries, despite going to brother's BDay celebration
-Even though it took me 2 hours to decide what to buy my brother and find the place that sells it on a weekend (Friday in our country is weekend) eventually pulling the trigger and ordering it for another day, thus allowing myself to nail the goals of 8 pomodoros and 3 hrs deliveries and more than 3 hrs of quality time with the family

1 Thing I could do better
-Having planned brother's gift in advance, It would have probably saved me some 1.5 precious hours plus the gift would have arrived he same day, instead of him having to wait about a week now.

 

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Entry 11.05 (Written on 12.05)

Day 590: No Useless Videos
Day 587: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 191: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 182: Being in bed before 23:15


3 Things I did well no matter how small
-8 pomodoros! !! Day 9 and I placed it over 10 hours of deliveries and just barely did 7 instead
-7 hours of deliveries thus completing 40 overall on the weekend despite celebrating brother's birthday and devoting to it something like 7 hours yesterday
-Cleaning kitchen flor within 50 minutes or so

1 Thing I could do better
-Write weekly schedule first, then look at jobs etc. if needed... it caused me to be about 20 minutes late from this task.. (The fact that I go a bit distrated

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So it is the middle of the night and I thought I'd just write sporadically to take the load off my thoughts.
I have just woke up because I've peed myself.
Physically it happened likely because I drank the usual amount of water I'm used to but did half the exercise ( I did the bare minimum of half an hour of main set (+about 15 minutes of warmup and cooldown together while usually I'm used to doing at least 55 minutes of main set + in the last week and a half at least 3 hours on the bike )

But why did I do so little?
The courier app didn't work today because of a holiday (Day of remembering the fallen soldiers of Israel in the history of our conflicts) so in contrast to the last day when it happened (The holocaust day) where I decided to just keep riding for a few hours without deliveries, I decided to return home as soon as I saw the app doesn't work. 

Last time after I've been biking for 3 hours without deliveries I wrote an entry here that this is what I would rather do, return home once I discovered the app doesn't work, so that I ay instead do more deliveries the next day. And meanwhile do some activity I was supposed o do the next day which I may do even if the courier app doesn't work,

So this is something I deserve a pat on the back about as of itself (Returning home)

I decided to do about 3 hours of job search now, which I had scheduled for tomorrow and then tomorrow do 3 more hours of deliveries instead of the job search (Plus do a 30 minute jog to maintain some calory balance and do some heart activity) 

The trouble is that as you probably know momentum is a strong thing, and it was already evening. So I pooped and thus lost some time, then I dd do an hour of job search, and then... I don't know if it was really because of physical tiredness because I slept for 5-6 hours the last two days, or it was just because of trying to escape reality, but what happened is I dozed off for 2 hours.
Thank god when I woke up I decided to do the minimal workout before the eventual 23:15 being in bed deadline.
And i even managed to squeeze a 25 minute cold shower. But still I did allow myself to doze off as I often do. (By the way in the afternoon I dozed off for an hour too.

I think some of it has to do with me seeing my apartment mate who is 53 years old doing that all the time.

Another part though is because I do not see progress in my marketing efforts.
I have now for a few WEEKS! been just blankly staring at my blog posts with barely any progress. I'm writing some text then erasing it, and researching every little assumption further and further, instead of writing a general outline, writing some Ideas and going to the next post. I end up with a huge amount of data which is probably not something anyone will read, and also confuses myself. But evenif they will read it and it is something interesting, still it is better to concentrate on one thing every post, this will help me gather momentum and get more things done, whereas when I have no commitment to post I just write and rewrite things forever, and really test less things and assumptions.
Because the testing really only occurs when the content piece sees the world.

You see the reason I'm really writing all this is that as I've been cleaning myself up and washing my underwear from the pee A very, very strong urge to play games was present, and I've been trying to understand why it happened.
As I wrote in the diary of Dark a few days earlier, this aging urge is not something that just came today it is likely something that has been gathering up over some time and the current events are just sort of triggers to make this urge stronger.

So I felt I must raise a red flag and change something before it's too late. Because eventually if this urge continues, again and again - It will win most likely.

Self-discipline is not infinite. And as Benjamin Hardy's book title says "Willpower Doesn't Work"
I must find a way to make my environment provide me with the necessary feelings and fulfillment of needs not to have this urge arise as it has been happening for quite some time for me now.

And this is likely due to the fact that I'm stepping in one place.

I mean lets be real here.
My goal was to publish a blog post and video every week. I have not done so for almost 4 months now (some blog posts are published but I haven't finished the cycle that's what I mean)

There's nothing more honest than that.

Shouldn't lie to myself.

It's great that I'm eating and staring blankly at the screen thinking how I should progress my blog and I call that "pomodoro time" even though I actually accomplish nothing. But it is NOT enough.

I must come up with some sort of compensation system for results - Which is actually publishing the content, not just the amount I put in.

Because Imagine what would happen if salesmen were paid only for calls they make.
They could then make 1,000 calls in 3 months and make no sales. Who would benefit? Nobody... This time would be lost and in the end of the day the salesman didn't help the company or any of the clients by helping them reach a decision and use the product which may improve their lives.

So it is with my marketing efforts. I do not want to be compensated for calls any longer.
Of course the minimum of time devoted to it must remain that - This time still has to be devoted to it.
Back to the salesman case - If he didn't make any calls of course he wouldn't make any sales... But the reward should be for the sales, not for the calls.

Here's what I want to do:
The current minimum of 8 pomodoros is cool and should remain that. I also want to continue writing about it in my general journal entries - documenting the length of the streak.

BUT, on top of that I want to have an overall goal of a weekly content cycle.
granted I will probably not nail it from the first time, and that's cool because I do not want to set goals that I'm 100 percent sure I will make, because then I'm not learning anything.

Then I will have gathered some points if I complete it within one week, less points if I do it within two and even less if i do it within 3

Once more thinking out loud the trouble is that I have two god damn goals. One is moving abroad which requires me to do job search and earn more money while the other is becoming financially free which is for a little more long term. 
But It shouldn't hinder eachother.

I may do both. It is just about feeling urgency. I do have an urgency in my "finding job" and moving abroad goal because I've set a mental deadline of 21.7 for the move. I don't even remember why any longer, but that's the date. Even though I am starting to doubt that date since I still haven't gathered the amount of money necessary for the move

After a brief pause to look at my bank account and think how much more money I need, it seems possible that within two months I'll have the amount. The only question is whether there will be enough time to get a visa and find an accommodation and order flight tickets and find a solution for how to move my items abroad... That's what I want to focus on now. First stop is a meeting at the embassy to ask them if we may start the process to speed it up and within 2 months time when I'll have the full sum, finish it.

After yet another pause I'm back after sending a mail to the embassy to ask them the same question, also would like to call them on their working schedule between 9 and 13 tomorrow (Hopefully they work despite the Mamory day.)

Anyway, back to my marketing goals.
I think I found a reward system that might suit me without any indulgences as a reward.
Here´s the plan:
If I publish both content types including the ads from end to end within 1 week, and it doesn't matter if it's flawed - I get 200 ₪ (About 60$) into my "Helping my brother learn how to bike lessons" reward fund. (Just sent an e-mail to find out how much it will cost generally)
If I do the same within two weeks - 100₪
If three weeks - 50₪
Anything after that gets no reward.

Today I'm about half-way there in my current content piece.
So let's say the current 1 week goal mark will be to finish all the content cycle by 16.05 mid-day.
Starting 1 minute after that and till mid-day in 23.05 it's the two weeks reward
1 minute after that and till 30.05 mid-day it's the 3-week reward.
1 minute after that - none.

I think that sums up my nightly rant. Gotta' go get some sleep

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Entry 12.05 (Written on 13.05)

Day 591: No Useless Videos
Day 588: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 192: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 183: Being in bed before 23:15

3 Things I did well no matter how small

-8 pomodoros once more which is cool as a basis Day 10, now lets see if I can nail the goal of tonight's post 🙂
-No deliveries once I saw the app is closed
-Writing the nightly post even though it was at the expense of two hours of sleep. It's a red flag that had to be raised. However, I probably shouldn't allow it to happen very often or I'll harm my sleep and as a result health and well being

1 Thing I could do better
-Evening journal before sleep before whatsapp mail (Finish shower a tad bit earlier)

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Entry 13.05 (Written on 14.05)

Day 592: No Useless Videos
Day 589: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 193: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 184: Being in bed before 23:15


3 Things I did well no matter how small
-8 pomodoros and i feel I've done some progress more than earlier
-27 deliveries, 7 hours of deliveries coompensating for yesterday
-a 1hr and 45 min workout compensating for yesterday' lack

1 Thing I could do better
-Finish shower a tad bit earlier. ' cause I did start writing the journal yesterday but I only had about one minute left and I decided to watch messages during this one minute (Instead of thinking about 1 thing I could do better, 'cause I wrote all the rest already.

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Entry 14.05 (Written on 15.05)

Day 593: No Useless Videos
Day 590: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 194: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 185: Being in bed before 23:15


3 Things I did well no matter how small
-8 pomodoros and I would've finished the analysis post and started the video script, but it wouldn' allow me to add a form so I 've had to tinker with it. I do feel I'm making much more progress now with a sense of urgency, after the post of two days ago
-4 hrs of physical activity
-1.5 hrs job search

1 Thing I could do better
-Still look for a way to journal in the evening. I did leave the time for it in this case but I decided to use it to masturbate. Which is also not so bad, I think it was the right choice. I haven't done that for a long time and it's a great practice for health, especially with the frequency I do it 

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Entry 15.05 (Written on 16.05)

Day 594: No Useless Videos
Day 591: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 195: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 186: Being in bed before 23:15

3 Things I did well no matter how small

-about 22 hr fast 
-4 hrs of physical activity
-cutting deliveries short so that I arrive to pickup the groceries from my apartment mate and get it to home on time.

1 Thing I could do better
-Such a small thing - 5 minutes that I need to designate in the evening to journaling, and i do not do even that.... If I do not accomplish such a small thing how may I expect to accomplish the big ones? Get it done!

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Entry 16.05

Day 595: No Useless Videos
Day 5921: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 196: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 187: Being in bed before 23:15

3 Things I did well no matter how small
-Going to an interview
-4 hrs of physical activity
-8 pomodoros even though i got delayed in interview

1 Thing I could do better
-Try avoid dozing off, or limit it more

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Entry 17.05

Day 596: No Useless Videos
Day 593: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 197: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 188: Being in bed before 23:15

3 Things I did well no matter how small

-8 pomdoros
-7 hrs deliveries 
-didn't accept the last delivery in order to get back home in the agreed time with apartment mates

1 Thing I could do better
-When feeling sleepy do visualization

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Entry 18.05 (Written on 19.05)

Day 597: No Useless Videos
Day 594: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 198: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 189: Being in bed before 23:15
Day 15: 8 pomodoros 🙂



3 Things I did well no matter how small
-Planned the week
-Cleaned two windows and dust on the table
-Got over two energy falls(Sleepiness)

1 Thing I could do better
-Move myself a bit faster especially during food prep so that I'd leave home earlier and come back earlier and wouldn't have to cut shower short

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Entry 19.05 

Day 598: No Useless Videos
Day 595: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 199: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 190: Being in bed before 23:15
Day 16: 8 pomodoros 🙂


3 Things I did well no matter how small
-4 potential job places visit
-Continuing process with 1 job place I want
-Again got over sleepiness

1 Thing I could do better
-Prioritize health - sleep 8 hrs, not 7 6 or 5

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Entry 20.05  (Written on 21.5)

Day 599: No Useless Videos
Day 596: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 200: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 191: Being in bed before 23:15
Day 17: 8 pomodoros 🙂



3 Things I did well no matter how small
-Understanding that it is a problem to tie my mood with an outcome that doesn't depend on me.
-Since the deadline of finding a job I've see to myself has come, deciding to give the only job offer I have pending a try, even though I'm scared it's not a fit. (It is a sales call center of a hotel. I do believe it is a waste of money to go on "vacation" in a hotel. Ubnless you're some sort of a millionaire and it saves you lots of time and it is pennies for you, which most of the people I'm going to talk to are not.
Still it is their decision, and I am there to provide them with information and give them the best possible solution out of other hotels. No lying is going to be involved - that's a red line for me. Other than that providing them with the best information about my product in case that';s what they wish to get is fine I guess (If anyone reads this let me know what you think 🙂 )
-4 hrs physical activity despite lack of sleep for a few days and having emotionally "rough" day since I got rejected on the job I expected to get accepted on, and wanted badly to get accepted on.

1 Thing I could do better
-Expect to not get accepted on jobs unless told otherwise, this is not under my control and act as if I did not get accepted until I did, it is the right way mentally I believe

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Food Schedule Update (21.05-3.6 including)
Stays exactly the same as previous, probably not going to have any days with over 3 hours deliveries, just gonna work on Saturdays and fridays so it will remain the same as earlier (reversing the over 4 hrs physical activity part)

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Entry 21.05

Day 600: No Useless Videos
Day 597: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 201: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 192: Being in bed before 23:15
Day 18: 8 pomodoros 🙂


3 Things I did well no matter how small
-1 hour run, plus first time I ran 3 minutes at a a empo of 17 km/h (at least first time in a long while.
-Woke up early and made it on new job on tme
-withstanding strong tiredness

1 Thing I could do better
-repare dinner beforehand so that olive oil has time to soak, and keep eczema t bay as a result hopefully, cause didn't fee lit for a long time but now that i didn't let it soak - it resurfaced.

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Entry 22.05

Day 601: No Useless Videos
Day 598: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 202: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 193: Being in bed before 23:15
Day 19: 8 pomodoros 🙂


3 Things I did well no matter how small

-About 22 and something hour fast
-Finishing reading the company policies during breaks
-Bringing up the 2 points about bonuses and work time so that it would be written in the job contract which it was currently not

1 Thing I could do better
-Try to be more effective on the way home and starting workout once I'm finished at work

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Entry 23.05

Day 602: No Useless Videos
Day 599: Sticking to Food schedule
Day 203: Eating Only between 06:30 and 19:00 (Last bite before 19:00)
Day 194: Being in bed before 23:15
Day 20: 8 pomodoros


3 Things I did well no matter how small

-Don't know how I do this day after day but completed one more day of 8 pomodoros without naps
-Asked two superiors about how to visit one of the company's hotels privately to better understand it 
-Regular workout

1 Thing I could do better
-:Probably re-plan stuff on Saturday to try a workout in the morning before the job along with more pomodoros, so as to stop doing so many pomodoros when dozing off and losing effectiveness

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