Journal - exBfPlayer

[reader]

Hello Me and anyone who will be reading this content.

In order to keep things in line I've  decided to post from time to time my thoughts and struggles regarding quitting gaming.

A quick introduction to my addiction is here

First day of not playing: 17/09/2021

Yesterday night I have deleted all the games I had on Origin and Steam account. My main addiction is playing Battlefield 3 multiplayer.

Also I have requested in EA to delete permanently my account on Origin.

I am meditating since 2 month - I will be going to continue this activity.

I am focus now on passing a certificate which allows me to be perhaps promoted sooner, or to find a better job in future.

Edited September 17, 2021 by Wojciech S.

[BooksandTrees]

Welcome to the community!

[reader]

Day 2.

I felt craving from time to time. I was engaged in some other activities like chess, learing some IT stuff, reading some news. 

It was good day without playing.

May the force be with you.

[reader]

2 minutes ago, Wojciech S. said:

Day 2.

I felt craving from time to time. I was engaged in some other activities like chess, learing some IT stuff, reading some news. 

It was good day without playing.

May the force be with you.

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[Gundham]

Wow, quitting alcohol AND gaming during 3 month period, that is not an easy feat. 
Welcome to the community fellow newcomer and lets get this done. All the best.

[reader]

On 9/18/2021 at 10:13 PM, Gundham said:

Wow, quitting alcohol AND gaming during 3 month period, that is not an easy feat. 
Welcome to the community fellow newcomer and lets get this done. All the best.

Hello Thanks. Just wanted to add that I wasn't addicted from alcohol luckily ;). And I realised that alcohol does not nothing for me but stopping me. 

Edited September 20, 2021 by Wojciech S.

[reader]

Day 3 

Day gone, but I had cravings all day long

I managed to keep myself busy and engaged with some activities. 

 May the force be with you.

[reader]

I decided to follow a template, so my journal will get some consistency

DAY 4 

Physical task: 

I did some push-ups and crunches. Actually I am doing those since July.

The goal is to continue home - exercising in order to create a habit. 

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 30.09)

2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

~ Didn't think of playing for almost all day

~ Get learned some IT stuff

~ Helped a colleague from work to get promotion

Summary of Day 4:

It was a good day, full of some activities that kept me distracted. I was glad that my contribution in my colleague's career matters as probably soon she will be promoted. Also I had a good talk with my wife. 

What I am grateful for today:

~ That in spite of cravings I was able to distract myself and simultaneously doing something useful and productive. 

~ That I have beloved wife that supports me

~ That I can share my thoughts - it really helps

May the force be with you

 

 

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

 

 

Edited September 20, 2021 by Wojciech S.

[reader]

DAY 5

Physical task: 

No physical activity made today

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 30.09) - Continuously learning

2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be preparing in October

Summary of Day 5:

I wake up afternoon as I had night shift. It was very lazy day without any significant initiative

 

May the force be with you

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[reader]

DAY 6

Physical task: 

I did some push-ups and crunches. 

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 30.09) - Continuously learning

2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be preparing in October

 

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - I started planning in detail the next day. It is working. I am having much more time now.

Summary of Day 6:

I felt so free today. I did realise how I was stacked with my life when playing, never had enough time for staff  I planned to do, my daily-routine was never finished  too.
I was in shock a little bit when it occurred to me how many time I do have now.

It is great feeling when you did all your activates and still have enough time to do even more, and furthermore you have a power to do that .

 

May the force be with you

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[Gundham]

Hey there, glad you are feeling well! Also I like your template, colours huh. Can i borrow that idea? 😄 
But I can agree with having power to do stuff. It feels so nice. Do you have any background you do your workout from? I want to get into it, but have little experience and dont want to get demotivated before i get somewhere.
All the best

[reader]

Hello Gundham 😉  

Regarding template- I actually borrowed it myself from here: templates

When it comes to workouts. I actually have some background in exercising on gym but I recommend you the app (available on android) - GymRun. You can find plenty of exercises there.

I am doing it since more than 2 months, and it requires some motivation, but once you keep regularity it become more natural. Also the goal  is(at least for me) to make it as daily /weekly routine, a habit let's say. The moment that it will happen, you don't need any motivation at all, as workouts become part of your life.

Good luck bro.

 

Edited September 22, 2021 by Wojciech S.

[reader]

DAY 7 & 8

Physical task: 

I did some push-ups and crunches. 

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing postponed) - Continuously learning

2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be preparing in October

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - none

Summary of Day 7 and 8:

Those were tough 2 days.

Yesterday was a day full of cravings - but I managed to be persistent

Today I learned that I am insufficient in knowledge to take the exam on the end of September. It occurred to me today, when I was viewing some samples of questions from previous exams. There are more than 2k questions, where I knew only a 300 of them. It depressed me a little. I came up with a plan though.

I had to postpone the exam a little bit

 

May the force be with you

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[reader]

DAY 9

Physical task: 

I did some push-ups and crunches. 

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 15.10.2021) - Continuously learning

2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be preparing in October

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - none

Summary of Day 9

It was good day with some cravings and doubts of all of this...but eventually I did not play

May the force be with you

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[reader]

DAY 10, 11, 12

Physical task: 

I did some push-ups and crunches during that 3 daystime

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 15.10.2021) - Continuously learning and it is looking good. So far so good.
2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be preparing in October
3. Getting back to learing IT Security staff

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - Today I have managed to fully exploit all day, without wasting any single moment. 

Summary of Day 10, 11, 12

I did not post on last few days as I had cravings and really bad time.  I had them so badly, that I started playing other game(F1 rFactor) which I used to play like 9 years ago. I stopped it immediately as this was my problem too. Back then I had been preparing to high school diploma, and I almost failed bc of that game(f1).

Yesterday I thought it through and cam up with an idea to distract myself with something useful to do. I decided to add another task on my Project list - to get back to security training(participating at my work place via training platform) 

So that’s all from those 3 tough days. Eventually I am good, still don't want to get back to play BF3

May the force be with you

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[Gundham]

Well hello there.
You got me worried a little seeing you not post, glad you are back. IT security is another of my little goals that was buried by gaming in the past, but definitely an interesting subject, hope it helps you overcome the cravings. May the force be with you too.

[reader]

DAY 13 and 14

Physical task: 

I did some push-ups and crunches during that 3 daystime

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 15.10.2021) - Continuously learning and it is looking good. So far so good.
2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be preparing in October
3. Getting back to learing IT Security staff

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - 

Summary of Day 13 and 14

2 weeks of abstinence from playing passed. Time is running fast. It was difficult time and still is, but today was the first day where I didn't even think of playing.

I am going to thy gym tomorrow after 2 months of doing push-ups and crunches, I think that physically I am well prepared.
I studied al lot today and just finished my work. Also tomorrow is the big day, as I had my last stage of job interview - and the role is what I am dreaming of from months. The security It specialist. Keep fingers crossed for me. 🙂  Thanks 

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[Jason70]

Ey,

Congrats on 2 weeks already! Also good luck tomorrow!

Best 

jason

[reader]

DAY 15, 16, 17 

Physical task: 

-

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 15.10.2021) - Continuously learning and it is looking good. So far so good.
2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be preparing in October
3. Getting back to learing IT Security staff

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - 

Summary of Day 15, 16, 17 

I did not write anything as I was busy almost all the time, and was away the entire time from keyboard. I am doing well, almost forgot that was addicted from gaming. 

I think I had a good interview on Friday, however it wasn't  the last stage. I will have known more details in following week. I think the reason for that is, that there are many candidates competing for the position and they want to choose the correct one. 

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[reader]

DAY 18, 19, 20, 21

Physical task: 

-

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 15.10.2021) - Continuously learning and it is looking good. So far so good.
2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be taking classes
3. Getting back to learing IT Security staff

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - 

Summary of Day 18, 18, 20, 21

3 weeks of not-gaming passed quickly. Today I had a desire to play, but only because my colleague was saying news and his excitement about the new Battlefield 2042, which will be released in November this year. I thought what a nice present it would be for me. But then I realized that I am not like normal dude who just that sits and plays. I would play constantly for hours, forgetting about the whole world. So I felt very sad for a moment, but then  OI occupied myself with something else, and the craving just gone.

It doesn’t change the fact that I feel awful most of the time, and I sense that I’m lonely with my commitment, I feel boredom too. As much I am keen to do other staff(like learning more, etc…), I don’t feel like I have any entertainment in my life.

 

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[reader]

DAY 22, 23, 24, 25

Physical task: 

- I have started attending gym since today. I  did my best today. I had full muscle's tension.

Projects: 

1. To get IT certificate(passing on 15.10.2021) - Continuously learning and it is looking good. So far so good.
2. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be taking classes
3. Getting back to learing IT Security staff

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - Starting gym,

Summary of Day 22, 23, 24, 25

I still didn't receive feedback from my interview which I had on 1 of October. I am having more cravings lately. I can't get rid of the fact, that I am unable to find an entertainment for myself, something that could replace gaming in satisfying way. Reading book isn’t the same. I want to do something useful and be plunged in at the same time.

I am afraid that It might take a time, till I will find something.

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

Edited October 11, 2021 by Wojciech S.

[reader]

Week 4

Physical task: 

- 

Projects: 

1. To start classes for getting CAE certificate - To be taking classes
2. Getting back to learing IT Security staff

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - I have passed the ITIL 4 Foundation Certificate yesterday.

Summary of Week 4

I decided to post weekly as I was already posting less than once per week due to latest increased engagement with my goals. Those last few days were full of some activities. Mainly I was preparing for passing the exam. When it comes to gaming, I am getting cravings from time to time. But I am trying to keep myself busy somehow, doing something productive useful for me.

 

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[reader]

Week 5

Physical task: 

Started Gym. Plan for muscle's inreasing created.

Projects: 

1. To start classes for getting CAE certificate
   1. Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepar in terms of grammar , before starting classes with natives
2. Starting master's degree next year. 
   1. Formulating and elaborating the given questions (600): 50 of 600

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - I have recently started planning my day, and it looks good. Living the day as per given schedule makes my life less complicated. Also I focus more on important endeavours.

Summary of Week 5

Regarding the plannig the day. I am not saying that, my whole day is planned, like every detail. I have general main task each day, and I focus to proceed with them accordingly, in that way, I just functionate better. 

It was quite good week. There were some minor cravings, however it wasn't that but then before, like few weeks back.

May the force be with you guys. Take care!

 

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

[reader]

Week 6

Physical task: 

Continue attending gym

Projects: 

1. To start classes for getting CAE certificate
   1. Scrutinizing the book: Advanced English. It will allow me to prepar in terms of grammar, before starting classes with natives.(13 out of 100 units done)
2. Starting master's degree next year. 
   1. Formulating and elaborating the given questions (600): 81 of 600

Miscellaneous accomplishments: 

 - 

Summary of Week 6

It was a crazy time. On the beginning of the week, I had lot of cravings( didn't realize that right away) and as a result I have installed a strategy game on my phone (I had been playing it for some time a few years ago). It's called ROK(Rise of Kingdom) and I was plunged into it completely. I didn't want to allow my reasonable thinking - which tells me that I started playing it bc of craving for BF3 - to be that important, as I have been convincing myself that it’s all good, a little time spent on playing doesn't hurts anybody that much... but It wasn't that simple. I realize again, that I am not able to play without plunging fully,  without using all the possibilities that game is giving me. I just can't play because i moment when I like the game, I am completely plunged - and nothing is more important, but gaming that particular game . So I have installed it just 2 days ago, it occurred to me eventually that, this is nothing more than wasting my time again for playing. I neglected many endeavours that I had planned before even thinking that  I will came up with an idea to play some games on my phone.

On Friday afternoon I decided to make an back up of my files. When looking for important files to  copy I came across the old capture videos of me playing BF3(2019). I watched for some time and it was really close to relapsing. I thought; why not playing?, why even bother will not-playing in first place?, what am I think, that  I am wasting my time? Is it really that important for me? Bc I am that smart, hence wasting my potential?. I realize that it all bulshit. The true is that I've always felt dumber form others. And perhaps this all endeavour of quitting gaming, quitting alcohol, are just another things that somehow my ego needs so I can be convinced that I am smarter.

If anyone reads that, I hope you guys are ok and have some different reasons of not-playing. Because I just realized that, if the above is true I am just  petty and probably I will start playing soon, just back to square one, and It is sad.

Take care.

Quit gaming on September 17th, 2021 Quit alcohol on June 16th 2021

Edited November 1, 2021 by Wojciech S.

[Gundham]

Comparation can really be a bitch sometimes. My goals fell from being better than others to just not make problems... both of those are not enough to really stop me from gaming. Try not to be harsh on yourself... keep in mind, that you are doing what you are used to and changing that is a long and tough goal. Am sure are doing your best, 6 weeks is a lot of days and i can see lot of reflecting from your actions. Hope you do hang in there somewhere!