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NEW VIDEO: I Replaced Gaming With Real Life (Nicco Transformation)


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  1. Okay, uhm, hi This will be my last post here until next detox, which i hope will happen around January/February, but probably way later. In the meantime I shall embark on a goal/dream-hunting journey so I actually have other reasons to quit gaming apart from not dying. I feel like I focused too much on how to make things right but not really on what should i actually do. My future is looking empty still. I know how to overcome every obstacle i can think of, but there are not any obstacles. Need to put some there. Starting with job (new opportunities), school (finding assigments I actually enjoy) and relationship (make it great, not just good. Also find my own way to go through and not just what should be done). I dont know if i should include hobbies into all this and i hope i will find out. I plan to consult all this carefully as I hope there are people around me that actually do care. If not... well, I shall worry about that later. Cheers to you all and cheers @Wojciech S.for sparking this idea. I shall be back with not only my divas, but hopes and dreams as well.
  2. Comparation can really be a bitch sometimes. My goals fell from being better than others to just not make problems... both of those are not enough to really stop me from gaming. Try not to be harsh on yourself... keep in mind, that you are doing what you are used to and changing that is a long and tough goal. Am sure are doing your best, 6 weeks is a lot of days and i can see lot of reflecting from your actions. Hope you do hang in there somewhere!
  3. Thanks for the reply man! I will probably share development in the department of both future and relationships here. Glad i have somewhere to share it and that there is somebody that actually cares about my thoughts. It really means a lot.
  4. Heyo, I am starting to feel better. Might even take my life seriously again, maybe... okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves. It still took me a bit, not gonna lie. It is amazing how little things drastically improve the way i can control my time. My self care sucks, but even if I am miserable i know what to do to get my brain to, like, not get lost in it and do stuff so i do not die. Good job me. Also, the progress from the "addiction to games -> addiction to success -> living too much through my problems -> now" is currently in the state of trying to figure out why do i want to fix my problems in the first place. To be more precise, it feels like part of me (probably closest is my brain) wants to get myself sorted out to have time to do something better, but the other parts (linked to emotions mostly) are constantly asking about what the fudge that better thing actually is... and i am unsure about that. Hobbies are nice, but they just do not have the right... boom shaka-laka in them. Life feels like something lived to be preserved, not like something i really want to push towards the future. I need some form of development, creation, movement, speed, stuff like that, but i just cant link it to my feelings, to what i really want. I also feel betrayed from being given sense of freedom that i cant utilize, because nobody told me there are rules i need to fulfill to be able to embrace the freedom in the first place. So in the process of adjusting to the rules i kind of neglected the process of sorting out what do i actually want to do with my freedom. @IkarI also stumbled again upon this comment and you talking about relationships in your own diary and I feel similar to development in this department... Again it is like part of me wants good sex with all the partners, other part is just happy with the one relationship i actually do have, other part just likes to chill with women and discuss the matters from different perspective then I usually do with men... I just get lost with what to listen to. And it is getting more noisy last few days over meeting a girl I find myself very interested in recently. Stay strong people, you are awesome. I shall be back
  5. Hey there, some dark days happened. Today is my first day accounting and i actually found myself some free time to write... not that i didnt have time, free time is controlling me again tho. Past days were... i do not really want to talk about it, way too much gaming, bad self-care, dunno, it just all merged together into a time I am sad i lived. There were some bright moments tho, routines didnt die, I still managed to go to most of my appointments and therapy was inspiring too... I probably need it more often. We had a disagreement with my therapist, I wanted to talk about my problems, she kinda neglected it with me being way too much focused on my problems and let them define me... And she cant really understand me, because i talk through my problems and not through my strengths, or my dreams, like, my dreams are to be free of problems. Cant stop thinking about it. In this light, gaming could be an escape from those problems (and it would make another problem itself with gaming being seen negatively by most of my surroundings...) @Wojciech S.I will check the podcast out, it looks like a thing I could need right now tbh. Thanks for the tip! Stay strong people, I shall be back
  6. Hey guys, still here. Just needed to share some things, even tho I am still in state of relapse. Routines are still holding strong. No night playing since the start. Also no oversleeping. I made good progress with work, my personal assistance boss was super understanding and let me change my time schedule to minimal, so the plan of having 2 small jobs is becoming a reality. Therapy is taking an interesting turn. Looks like being addicted to games is a byproduct of being addicted to success. Need to do more research on the topic but it feels right. I dont feel like my life plan is to become successful (or at least, successful in hecking everything I do), it just I feel like I am in a cage of having to do that or I will just die. I am kind of lost in the topic though, its very new... does anyone have any insight, literature, anything that could shed some light? It feels like nonsense a bit, success is something i should want to follow, isnt it? Cheers to all of you for being awesome, stay strong!
  7. @ChewyChickenBones I am playing Genshin Impact. Its not only the game is addicting (well made gacha system), I also really like the game, even with staying f2p (which I will never break). Other games I didnt even think about starting yet. Not sure if I dare not to just restart the detox, my favourite character is coming in rotation soon and i fear i would just relapse again and with harder impact. I made some progress in work department, looks like I will be able to cut time in personal assistance and do some accounting job with it. It feels good, just about to keep me occupied but not that energy demanding, I also like the feel of making chaotic documents look all sorted out and nice. All that I need to do is to not fall into rabbit holes and keep my head up. Cheers and good luck, I will be back.
  8. Okay, i think i should just swallow my pride and post here. Relapse happened. I feel like I brought it to myself, got my body too exhausted to support me against the pressures of my cravings. I dont feel bad tho. 22 days is a good number for first try. I shall be back soon, not planning to do it now as i still feel exhausted and would probably fall to relapse cycle. I dont think I am cured, my brain is still full of cravings, but I have more control now. It shall be easier to control myself and get myself ready for another try. Good stuff that happened during this detox: - got my morning and evening routine set up and they stand tall even with games. - I have my weekly schedule set up and running - Rekindled some activities (cooking, board games, swing dance, philosophy, music, exercising) and currently do not feel any intention of stopping although my development will probably slow down. - I find it easier to dodge yt videos and not kill time with mindless internet scrolling (not that I am free of it, but it is easier) - Finally learned how to properly spell the word exercise - Generally my overthinking diminished as I am more free to talk with people and with myself about random things. Heck I even went out with my girl at 4am in the rain for a bit and it was amazing. Things to note towards future attempts: - fix my limits. Cant concentrate on myself without energy. (Any tips/books/methods? Am lost in this department) - set some safety nets to help me if things get ugly - be more careful about talking to people about games. I probably did it too much, cause at the start of detox I was alone outside of it and it felt horrid. Now I have more people to talk to, so hopefully it will be easier - find less energy-demanding work That is all from me for now. I will still be lurking the formus and maybe occasionally post, although I dont feel I have the privilege, since games are currently back in my life. Maybe will post about how/if I manage gaming, dunno. Thank you all for your support and I shall be back!
  9. Day 22 "Speak the name of evil and it shall appear" - Gundham Tanaka, Ultimate breeder, Rightful ruler of the earth, Overlord of ice and Master of four Dark Divas of destruction! (hi) Short summary. Sad day divided between work i hated to do and free time I didnt want to live through, urges were overwhelming me today. I put on a nice face mask for the clients, cant let my anger get into my work, but when I was with myself i just crumbled. Didnt start a game, watched a bit of speedrun and a couple gaming videos tho. I call that a small loss that i want to use to fuel my way forward. Gather experience, stand up, go on. As always. Also I probably need a job change. Why today was great: - Managed to eat at least something - Songs helped to ease at least some tension - Isolated myself so I dont do anything stoopid to people i care about - Managed to let my girl know how i was feeling Notable points: - The job change thing comes from several things. I dont want to be personal assistant with elderly, it was just comfortable to get work at a place i know from my school placements and it was easy to play games with it/turn down services if I needed. The work is giving me close to nothing, expect keeping my schedule somehow consistent. And finally, I dont think I am good assistant to most of elderly clients, although I kind of got to like them... I look too much like a game character from the world they do not understand and I dont understand theirs. There have been too many services turned down just because of my actual looks or not looking schooled/responsible enough. Am tired of this. How can I show that I actually mean to be kind when I am bad at expressing it/bad at looking like a kind person. Probably need to grow a bit outside of games, but I am contemplating how/where. Oh well, I still have time, although I need stable income to keep the place i live in. Lets set up a plan to figure up new work in 2 months, shall we? That sounds like a reasonable amount of time, for starters... I dont think I will survive in this job much longer Good luck mate, you can do this
  10. Day 21 of detox "Do you feel like everything seems unreal lately? Not in a bad way though" - Abigail Another saturday and i was dreading this one after the mess of the day yesterday was. Turned out pretty ok tho. Woke up at 6am completely refreshed (no clue how) and generally had a pretty chill day, even though I had to cancel the trip i was planning. I am sure it was a good choice. Cravings didnt turn up until evening, so now everything is stoopid again. Trying to be chill about it. Not working, as I am drowning myself in sugar. Sigh. I wish my brain functioned normally. Thinking has been feeling really weird lately. Maybe i can just... not think maybe? Sounds unreasonable though. Wait, thats thinking again... aaaa, this is not working out. Why today was great: - Decent day regarding movement+rest balance - Visited cat café - mooooore board games (nope, not getting bored or boarded) - I actually think me and a guy from board games group are becoming good friends. - Great food throughout the day overall (maybe too much sugar, but I dont care today) - Did setup basic schedule for the next week and it is actually looking decent Notable points: - I am pretty sure I am not trying to be funny, these are the thoughts my brain offers me. It is useful when dealing with things, it gives me calmness and time to fix stuff (it does probably cost seriousness tho). If i think to much i tend to just overthink, the decisions are more accurate to present tho. Need to balance this. - It is nice how I am surrounded by people playing computer games but actually make time to spent with me outside of those. Gives me hope I will be able one day as well. Maybe even without the playing computer games part. Well, one can always dream. Good luck mate, you can do this
  11. Hey good luck with your assigments! I am also trying to get to do daily exercise and recommend getting to stretch daily first before fully start working out, so your body does get used to movement (I do 10 minutes yoga stretch in the morning and 10 minute wrist stretch in the evening every day). Also stretch routines can be done even when feeling sick or tired, which helped me stay in movement last couple days after catching cold, so exercise was out of question. Although to be honest I am still learning how to exercise properly, so if you have any tips or maybe bad experience with this kind of stretching, I am all ears. All the best.
  12. Day 20 "Stupid fool" - Nekomaru Nidai I am angry at myself. a) I am going to sleep late 3rd day in a row. This time with addition of waking up early tomorrow. b) I am still sick, cant care about my health and I will probably miss tomorrows program cause thats the only way to get at least some rest. c) Just generally for continuing this stupid existence (might be a bit excessive, as I tend to exagerrate my emotions... it feels real right now tho) Its not like today wasnt productive. Its just my thought processes feel like a total mess. Future feels like a spooky tunnel. Past feels like a lot of work done for nothing and lot of poop done for... i dont even know what for. Probably for more nothing. I am not breaking the detox. I cant. But got heckin dammit, can I just calm down somehow. Why today was great: - board game session - one service got cancelled so i got to just lie down and listen to podcast for good hour and a half. (Still feels like i would need 3-12 more) - wrist stretch felt less painful - Nice talk with uncle Notable points: - Imagine being able to think straight enough to note anything. Good luck mate, you can do this (...........)
  13. Day 19 of detox "Stop struggling!" - Maya Ikar - one of my main motivations for maintaining my life is to be able to not live there. Its strange, the place is welcoming and so are the parents and there is also a cat, that is like my 3rd sibling. Still the drain happens so fast and out of nowhere. Also 2 and a half years is a big number, i didnt even realize. Great job man. Still sick and still staying awake too long. Not to game or anything, I just preplanned stuff and now I am kinda overwhelmed. I love it from one side, forgot to preplan free days one the other... might decline saturday plans (spiritual silent walk that i actually look forward to) to chill at home for a bit and finish healing myself. Throat got well, the body still needs to clean itself tho. I am trying to maintain some kind of physical activity (today it was morning and evening stretch and my work involves a lot of walking), am bad at estimating time to stop myself and rest tho. I am in full speed and want activities, if I dont have any, I get cravings (and the voices saying "its okay, go rest and play" are still iritating). Funny thing is I actually found some activities I can rest with, I just forgot to leave time to those. Well, next week is a week as well and I shall be smarter Why today was great: - had a guitar session - got motivated to do them hikings, I miss guitar around campfire - lunch was great - girl helped me with making schedule and she is actively supportive today - talked with up until today unknown female classmate (...and I already have our future planned. I dont understand this.) - morning stretch completely released my full nose. For sure best feeling of the day Notable points: - my head got dizzy when returning home in the evening, so I focused myself on memes. First time voluntarily from start of the detox. It helped me, but i still feel bad about it. - I keep doing my morning and evening routine no matter my mindset. It is super helpful to not have to wonder how to start/end a day and have it kinda automatic. Good luck mate, you can do this
  14. Day 18 of detox "The world is smaller than you think" - Zote (Percept no. 46) Uhh, this was a hectic day. Its already way past my usual bedtime, although not a spot of today was wasted. I argued a little with my girl, eventually settled it, it was my tension bursting a bit and I finally got to name that feeling. She accepted it, although not really well... I hope it will not make our relationship worse. Swimming went surprisingly well, i got to know couple guys there and classically felt stupid around girls... How do you even make normal contact with those. I feel like everytime I try to talk its automatically flirting. Why today was great: - Went running for the first time in foreever - Went swingdancing and randomly met a friend i didnt see for a couple years there - The relationship tension has been lifted... for now - Saw a cute bunny Notable points: - I am super grateful we have something like park to go running to nearby our flat. I like evening city walks, but not city running. - I actually used argument "just go game to show her how she hurt you" on myself during argument with girl and it actually scared me. Like holy s***, how far does it want to go. I shut those voices up, but... uh, probably better to not think about it. Good luck mate, you can do this
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