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About Me

Found 10 results

  1. Like many other people here, I am addicted to gaming. It's something that has affected me for years, and wasted away countless hours of my life along with thousands of dollars. It's costed me so many relationships and opportunities, to the point where I'm no longer truly young (26 in 2021) and yet haven't achieved much of anything in my life. I've tried many, many times to quit. Sometimes I lasted for just a few days, sometimes several months, but ultimately the siren call of gaming always drew me back, screwing me over and undoing all the positive progress I worked so hard to build. On the surface my life honestly isn't too bad. 2020 was a bad year for many people, but it was pretty great for me. I moved out of my mom's place, got a job, and started working full time to take care of myself. I recently went back to school full time as well, and am looking forward to graduating in February with a 4.0 GPA and credentials that will allow me to work in an industry that I'm passionate about. And I have an awesome girlfriend who has stuck with me through some truly tough times. So why am I trying to quit gaming now? Because while I'm doing enough to get by, I know I'm falling so far short of my full potential. My room is a mess. My body and mind have both become incredibly weak from years of sedentary living. Most importantly, I have so many dreams that I want to achieve, and the opportunity to do so diminishes with each passing day, as I piss away my free time playing games and watching TV. I want to get fit, travel the world, make a lot of friends, and be involved in my community. I want to have a job that doesn't just allow me to get by, but that allows me to truly make a difference in the world. I know I can reach every single one of these goals, but I also know that it won't be possible unless I start growing up and leaving gaming behind. 2020 was a great year, but here's to 2021 being an even better one. Cheers.
  2. Hello (again), It has been almost 3 months since my last post and I had my biggest relapse yet. Just before the school started (no more online classes) I got really depressed to the point where I couldn’t find motivation for anything anymore. I thought maybe playing one game for a few hours could help my mood.... Well I was wrong! I got back into a game called Planetside 2 (a very grindy game) where I somehow still had an account with hundreds of hours on it. I got addicted again immediatly and until the school started I didn‘t even leave the house once. And then school didn‘t really make things better. Because I was way to lazy to learn during lockdown, I had to learn all of the stuff about 1 day before each exam. That was one hell of a lot of stress. To cope with the stress I played everytime I got a chance and only started to learn at night (luckily my grades ended up being pretty good ) Hundreds of hours wasted on games later It feels like I have flushed all my progress down the drain. I have to start over completely. I deleted every tiny gaming account I had left (except a few I couldn‘t) and I‘m up for a fresh restart. I really want to start enjoying the progress, that was a big problem for me all the time. I‘m just too much used to having instant gratification instead of focusing on long term results, when something didn‘t work in a few days I already got frustrated. I hope i can be more patient this time. I‘m motivated to start again, going to keep you guys updated!
  3. Hey! My name is Max and I’m 17 yo Russian guy. A little intro how I fucked up my life. I wasn’t big fan of computer games until 13. That year I decided to move from regular school to online education. I thought that education system in my country is a mess and I’m wasting time on things that aren’t important to me. Thought that I could better manage my time. After I started studying online indeed I had much more free time, lessons and homework were taking only 2-3 hours a day. But instead of filling that void with something healthy and meaningful I started playing games on PS4. That wasn’t really the issue back then. I was playing casually a couple of hours a day and after that managed to reduce it to only 1 hour a day (I set a timer every time I played). I was learning programming and electronics, and even tho I didn’t communicate with others a lot I didn’t feel the need at all. I was happy with what I got in general. And then Overwatch open beta came out... I installed Overwatch on my console just because everyone in gaming community was talking about it, and beta was totally free, so why not give it a try? And I liked that game, it felt so fast, gameplay on every hero was different. So I started to play overwatch casually for a couple of hours a week alongside other games I had. After half a year or so I lost interest in other games and switched to Overwatch. After a while I felt that console is holding me back because all good players and pros were playing on PC. I bought Overwatch for my laptop and it felt a lot better aiming on mouse compared to controller, but my game was lagging a bit so after half a year I raged and broke my laptop with a hammer (I still despise myself for doing it). But instead of quitting and investing my time on something else I was thinking only about playing Overwatch and after 3 months of suffering without gaming I built my own PC for Overwatch. I played like this for 2 more years, my rank was slowly improving (I was trying to get better at the game, constantly trying to climb on another rank, after that setting my goal on rank higher etc. Every win gets you rank points and I became addicted to them). All that time I was barely studying, not interested in anything but Overwatch. Constantly watching streams of good players and thinking on what could I improve in my play. I was more than addicted, Overwatch became my reality. After reaching master (second best rank in the game) I joined a team of players of my skill level. We were practicing together and playing tournaments. At that period of time I was thinking about being a pro player despite my dream of being engineer. Nothing else mattered to me. One year ago I became grand master (best rank in the game) and then reached position in top 500 players in Europe. I was playing with teams and solo. Always in need to reach rank higher than my current. Last 2 years sometimes I was getting angry on myself for wasting all my time on useless game instead of studying and talking to people, making friends, working out and doing hobbies. I uninstalled the game more than 30 times past few years, but I always relapsed. Sometimes I managed to stay clean for a month, sometimes relapsing in less than a day. When I am not in a game I realize how lonely I am and how empty my life is, so I start to think about the game and good moments I had in it. I reached the point where I’m not even having fun in the game anymore, Overwatch is toxic with trash community, people are always insulting each other in the game, so I rage all the time when someone in my team is playing poorly or insulting me. I’m just playing it to fill my life with something, I don’t know how to live differently. I tried to play other games instead, like The Witcher 3, Sekiro or even Minecraft. And every time I am getting bored after a couple of hours, they remind me of Overwatch and I’m ending up playing it. So I am not addicted to computer games in general, I am addicted to Overwatch. I guess it’s because I’m good at the game and don’t need to learn anything new or because Overwatch is the only place where I interact with people. So, I guess the main reasons I’m addicted to Overwatch are: 1) Interacting with people 2) Being good at the game which makes me feel happy 3) Ranking system without skill ceiling 4) Competing with other players 5) Escaping real life where I’m miserable 6) Killing time But everything’s changed recently, 6 days ago I uninstalled [again]. I made a promise to myself that this time I won’t relapse. I gave away my gaming 144 Hz monitor and bought 60 Hz instead. I’m thinking about selling my GPU and buying something not powerful enough to run Overwatch. I also think about getting rid of Windows (I use Linux as my main OS, but I have Windows installed alongside on another hard drive). I uninstalled all games I had even tho I didn’t play anything but Overwatch. I deleted my twitch and unsubscribed of all gaming channels on youtube. So yeah, now I have a lot of free time and I need to do something with it, otherwise I’ll relapse again. Currently I’m reading a very good book about how computers work (on transistor level in a chip). And I have a couple more good books to read about electronics and computers. I bought online courses to learn Java programming language as well. In a week I’ll resubscribe to my workout and nutrition program. I’m not really struggling with talking to people so I think when I’ll start going outside (maybe find some interesting courses or something like that) I’ll make some friends for sure. I have a lot of experience in relapsing (30+ times lol) so I think it is important to keep track of your time. I started using an app where you can set a timer for certain tasks, so in the end of the day you’ll have an idea what you’ve done. Ah, and it’s my last year in school so I need to prepare for exams properly this time. Special thanks to @Marek and @BooksandTrees. Your stories inspired me to write my own. I guess that’s all I wanted to tell. Think I’m gonna update it weekly just because I feel like daily style is not for me. Wish ya’ll a nice day! Max
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  5. Hello, My clean date is 11/25/19. This is My Story. It’s 11/14/19 and I decided to recommit to quit today after just thirty minutes of gaming. I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that I’m 31 and single. I’ve wanted to be stable with someone forever so it’s dismaying for me. I just feel like it’s really difficult for me to find someone. I have a job but haven’t saved much money. I’m kind of thin and don’t have the best skin. And I have schizoaffective disorder. That’s a combination of depression and schizophrenia. It means I’m at risk for getting depressed and sometimes have delusions that people are out to get me. My therapist recommended me to a group for people who are chronically mentally ill because I was continually having suicidal ideation for months while working with her. I’ve really got to continue with that group. Anyways. Things didn’t workout with a couple of romantic prospects and I got pretty down. Then I was playing a game and realized. “Playing isn’t making me feel better. It’s making me feel worse.” That led me back on here and now I’m adding to the forums. I've never been an online poster, I don’t even use social media. But for some reason this site has given me the power to quit gaming when I felt completely hopeless. When I get paid I’m thinking I’ll try to complete the respawn guide. If you read my intro you know I’ve been on vacation trying to quit again. It’s hard, it hurts and I’m not really sure what my identity is. “Who am I?” Is a question I’m trying to answer now. I am a Christian. I workout, I practice yoga and mindfulness. I love to read, especially the Bible. I love my family and even though it’s challenging for me to get along with them sometimes. I keep trying. I’m a counselor and I hope to become a licensed therapist some day. I used to be a gaming addict. I just feel like my whole life is at risk when I play a game for even a second. It’s a pretty intense reality, but I think it’s true for any gaming addict. The only solution for me is to stop gaming for life. Sincerely, Erik
  6. My Sobriety Journal - Retaining Sobriety - Hello to all fellow Gamequitters, my name is Neil, and I am in my mid-thirties. I am from & currently live in Louisiana with my Mom & Dad who allowed me to move back in after I chose an honorable discharge from the US Air Force after 6 years of service. I did not have a problem making the promotion cycles and for that reason I believe I would have continued my Air Force career had I found sobriety and a little more confidence in myself before or even during active duty. To be clear I feel way more confident in myself now than before beginning sobriety, LEARN FROM THIS! ☺️ TRASH THOSE GAMES! Just because you don't feel addicted doesn't mean it won't develop into a life crippling dependency, it will. You can read my full personal introduction here that includes the events this last year leading up to my decision to quit video games for good. It would be great if my lifelong gaming addiction never was there to begin with but it was - and for that I am very grateful to be here to share a little bit of my sobriety as the days go by. I do not expect I will exclusively post with these template formats below but I find a bit of comfort in the structure they offer to help guide me. Comments to my journal entries are quite welcome let us simply be sure to follow the forum rules. This is just as much for maintaining my sobriety as it is to help & inspire the community as you have found your way here, enjoy!! My Daily Sobriety Journal Template is here .. My Gamequitter's "LTS" Journal Template is here .. Everyone is welcome to use ✌️ Respectfully, Neil, Ex-Gamer Addict, Gamequitters Member My Introduction, My Mission, Newcomer Help Goals, Affirmations, Habits, Gratitude, Web ReduxMy Nutritional Values no forum debates please direct message only!
  7. Day # 1 I have my 6th sem exams in 9 days and I didn't study anything and I just wanted to play dota 24/7 I realized how much i have changed after i discovered online gaming and how little i care about things and how i stopped socializing , so i decided to change and uninstalled my games and i will start going running from tomorrow. PS: I have never written anything outside exams and i suck at it .
  8. Never in my life would I expect to find myself on a forum like this but. I guess life truly has no roadmap. I'd normally use an Alias but...seeing as how that usually ends up, I'll keep this personal and use my Real Name only and the names of those if permission if given and I apologize if it's hard to read. I tend awful when writing from the heart at times. With that out of the way, let me introduce myself. I'm Giancarlo. A Highschool Junior In the Big City who's trying to crawl his way out to freedom after realizing what gaming is doing, I started off on PS2 But slowly transitioned to other platforms and stuck as a multi-platformed gamer. I got into gaming at an early age since I lived in a bad neighborhood and my parents feared the worst. I was autistic and back then was often bullied and targeted...so I was kept in a small safe haven of the Nintendo Gamecube and PlayStation 2. The Nights of NSX and Simpsons Home And Run, happy memories of youth and killing time until My Uncle picked me up to visit my grandmother or playing against my cousins until dinner time! It was a time when gaming was that. A Simple game to kill time and then put down. But that's not where my story takes it dark turn. That happens sometime around middle school. This was when my hobby started to turn into the addiction it once was. It was when I was finally allowed to go online and interact with the world. This was the PS3 Era. When Bo1 and CoD MW2 Were the Games to have and own. I was this pudgy and F A T. Kid Growing up, so I was often bullied and left alone. at the time. My Parents finally decided to put the internet into the house for work purposes and by looking up videos online hooked my PS3 Online and Got a Headset from my cousin and soon I was on a fast track to talking and making friends. It felt...nice. Finally being able to hold an actual conversation with someone outside of my Special Ed Classes. Talking about common interests and having good laughs over the smallest and dumbest things...It helped my escape my brutal life in school. My Parents were naturally concerned but my father got into tech and supported it...from 5th Grade to 8th. It was Video Games Every Night and Day. Talking to the Same Peeps and finally feeling greatful. Then...I started to make them my priority. After All. It was just a simple algebra assignment. What's one little missing HW. Thing is. They tend to stack when you look at the long term. Little did I know the first stages were setting in. I became irritable when the internet was down, I stopped leaving the house and just scootering around in the park. I became a couch pillow and liked that way until high school started. I'll skip 9th and 10th Year as they were much of the same but worse...It nearly costed me to be held back and lose my position within my cohort. 11th Grade Year. I found what I thought was fucking impossible. A Girl who actually liked me...for me. I learned alot about putting up a front but...when I was with her. I didn't want to mask up and shield. I wanted to be a naked mind for her, just as she was for me but...gaming after so many years took its toll, I was socially recluse and often ghosted when we chatted on discord. Usually paying attention to a War Thunder Match or CS:GO Match, I was doing what had been done on to me...and little did I know at the time that I was hurting her. I let my internet persona take the lead and act like this giant Brochado, when she loved my sensitive and intelligent side that came and went in flashes. She eventually left me after I caused her "Stress" but we remain close friends. It wasn't until the last few months that I started to realize that I needed to lose the systems as I had bigger dreams. I found a school I wanted to go to (USNA!) but My grades after years of gaming, hold me back and after a heavy conversation with my Ex. I realized something... A Decade in my life was coming back to bite me with no punches pulled...My Safezone was really my Gas Chamber. I was poisoned and living in my own reality instead of being apart of the real world...the world with her, the world where we watched movies, the World where I left and explored New York City. I lived in a Virutal World. Devoid of Life. I need Help. I know what I want out of life...and I don't want to cross the Rubicon and become a shell... I want to fight this and finally be free.
  9. Vera

    Moving on

    Hello everyone! Some of you definitely know me because I'm a member of the Discord chat under the same name (my previous nickname - Farant). For those who don't - my name is Vera, I'm 25 years old, female, from Russia. My English isn't particularly great, so don't mind my mistakes, please. I felt the need to start journaling after something bad happened in my personal life just yesterday. I've been journaling for more than 10 years on paper, so I know the drill. I'm afraid to touch my journal right now, I'll get back to it later when I'm ready. I've been a gaming addict for several years, abandoned gaming and the internet entirely for a couple of months, but it didn't really help a lot. Games were my escape from reality. I think I started thinking about it seriously last spring, became familiar with GameQuitters on Youtube. I used to play very niche online game with the toxic community, servers that died every now and then, the game was very addictive. I quit only when I got really angry at myself for wasting so much time on nothing. As time went on, I've joined Discord, did about 40 days out of 90, relapsed multiple times and eventually decided I want to play, but only one game because of my boyfriend. But the game gave me strong motion sickness, I didn't like it and I already deleted it, so I have nothing on my hard drive. I enjoy keeping an aquarium, knitting, programming, reading, journaling (obviously). I’m into Stoicism, I’m far from perfect but I’m using every opportunity to learn more and apply it in my life. I can’t say my life is empty, but I feel empty right now. I have the chance to turn it 180 degrees. I decided I’ll go to the gym once again and just try to be social, let it be the first step. It will help me hold on and not give in to depression right away. I’ve also asked my friend to go to the cinema with me when the new How to train your dragon comes out. The more I reach out to people, the more I realize I have friends I can count on. So here I am, day one. I’ve prepared things I need for the gym, tried to eat (not very successful, but better than nothing) and it’s time to go to sleep.
  10. Hey guys, My routine in life isn't super efficient at the moment and by reflecting on what worked in the past I figured out that journaling was one of the best things I could do. I don't game at all anymore, but I don't know any other forums like this, so if it's okay to post on here I'd gladly use it! My life as it stands today Not too healthy -> Medicine for Acne (only 3 days left) and not working out that often / lost some weight. I have my own company -> VelzenMedia (marketing company) I'm judging other people too much, because I see myself in them. And I don't like myself right now Bad sleeping cycle / habits. Where I want to be in 90 days More energy, strenght and healthy eating habits again. VelzenMedia @ 3 clients paying me each 1000 euro's +. Not judging other people. Talking in terms of other people's interests and making people smile ? Less entertainment / internet / social media. Only use it for growth. Better sleeping cycle / habits. Where I want to be at 25 years old Extremely fit, energized and healthy. Successfull companies helping people all over the world. Be a millionaire, but don't buy things to show off. Re-investing all the money to provide for myself long-term. I want to be the one who makes entertainment. Not the one who consumes it. These are my current targets. It all starts with this 90 day challenge in which I want to take back my health, energy and obsession. I'll be posting once a day to summarize my day and efficiency. If you don't see me posting anymore it means I've quit and that I'm a talker not a do-er. How am I going to succeed? -> Planning, planning, planning. I believe that to be my keystone habit.