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About TimetoWalkAway

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  1. UPDATE: Lasted Till Day 50 Taking a Step Back, I realized Gaming was simply a chink the issues that have been affecting me for a while. I've learned how to cut people out of my life and finally saw my grades spike, Naval BGO Spoke to me, Called me a "Diamond in the Rough". Funny. For my whole life, I've always been one...just trying to find the right jeweler to refine me. I'm glad I've been finally able to grow and finally make progress. Special Thanks @Ikar @30_yrs_of_gaming Without you guys. I wouldn't have been inspired enough to just back away and truly look in the mirror.
  2. At the very least, you knew it's a part of the problem, if you had no idea where to start digging, this is the path to ground zero, delve in your other behaviors, see where you went wrong as well, look at behaviors where your Hindsight was clouded and you were acting in the heat of the moment, this can sometimes reveal a rabbit hole of problems that need to be dealt with before you can truly mend the bonds, Fragile communication is communication at the least, treasure it and as all pilot's say. "Watch your Airspeed." I'll send you some other videos that go into the origins of game/internet ad
  3. In my Prospective. It seems to be a similar situation to mine as well. Sometimes we develop a love for a person but we don't care for ourselves enough for the other person. She wants distance to slowly put her life back together as well...but this gives you the opportunity to build a bond and friendship between you and your spouse Don't take it as a personal attack. Butn as opportunity to reflect on your actions and growing as a person. I'd be happy to send some great videos your way to help you!
  4. Growing up as autism certainly delayed that lesson for the longest time. When No one loved me, I desired external gratification to find acceptance, I lost the ability to look at myself and say. "I am good enough." I fell into a dark pit of gaming and RP to help stem that depression and find acceptance, I let the internet and gaming numb my emotions to the point of sociopathy until this pain brought me back to reality...I needed to learn to love myself before I could even consider loving her and In the course of this hell, I'm slowly learning to love myself as I discover other things about mys
  5. Likewise, my friend, My chances at righting my wrongs with her are slim and distant, I feel my closing in when I know I should make distance, I believe that this is a sign that My battle is not over yet and the time for complacency is not now...I must tend to myself before I tend to others as I can't make anyone happy if I'm not truly happy. I must tackle the insecurity and sadness that plagues me. But...I recommend Frederich Nitzche's take on life as one must give meaning to the meaningless. Life is simply a strange constant and we are no different to the average animal in terms of maint
  6. Day 30. Time. Everything in this world revolves around it and the actions we take within it have it as an either a subtle of unique factor...as I sifted my internet history and everything out of boredom, I noticed the toxic environment I put myself in...This lovely youtube channel, the pursuit of wonder has given my advice I wish I was given earlier but...it's still advice that I can carry on within my upcoming journey. I reflect and notice the anomalies that would've normally set off internal red flags but were mistakenly taken as false positives. If I found these chan
  7. Day 29 Had a good talk with K. After having a nice and personal talk I got a bit of an overview of the damage, I had truly caused, the aggression, pain, and suffering I dragged her through etching scars into me as I realize what my toxicity has caused, I realized that it's not just gaming that has dragged me down this pit. Gaming Addiction was just the chink in my demon's armors as see more and more coping mechanisms that formed the Goliath of my imagination, my persona made to deal with my bullying and powerlessness as a kid became a power fantasy and I realize how abusive I ha
  8. Take each day with stride and don't give up. You'll find your path.
  9. Day 24 Happy 17th Birthday to me. Today felt like a perfect birthday despite my obligations. My girlfriend spent time with family while I tended to my school's tour. Representing my school and bringing home silver for Beginning Band. I then celebrated with my stepmother and father, detached from my phone and enjoying friendly and cheery conversation over Dallas BBQ. After that My Father got me some new sport and sleep shorts. It felt nice to savor those precious social connections and just enjoy life. Complacency is for those that feel as if they reached the summit be
  10. Day 22 Ladies and Gentlemen. We've crossed the hellfire and I reaped one of the best rewards I could...I got my darling, back. Seeing the message of Love you, too lifted a weight off my chest as everything falls into place. I feel alive and free again...The only thing that would've made this moment was a fairy tale kiss on the lips and a gentle embrace as our bodies rest on each other...Those Small Moments that I'll never take for granted again as the 24th Day Marks Two Important Days. One being the eve of a T-5 countdown of a 1 monthDetox and the other being my 17th Birthday...The New Y
  11. Day 20 Climbing and Teasing~. Had a nice and calm day after spring break. Got my assignments of the week and I'm just putting myself in cruise control as I get back into the flow of things. My Ex and I started to flirty and things got a bit heated. She's a bit of tease with signals but I think the gates are slowly starting opening again...I'm taking control the seat this time and well. If things go through...I might have an additional gift for my birthday evening. My work pattern is stable and A-Ok. Looking back on this month, I can safely say that I've made considerable progress!
  12. Day 19 Mood: R E A L N Y C H O U R S Had a really good weekend and despite the lack of travel. A Fulfilling Spring Break. I recently got to see my sister get inducted into an undergraduate honor society before her graduation in May. After that. I'll have someone in the house to help me keep my father in check and a shield to allow me to be more mobile around the city. Me and My Ex have been talking more and I realize it's way more fun to be relaxed around her...I occasionally reach for my mask but...It's a thought in the back of my mind at this point. I've made peace with J and we
  13. Day 16 Took the Opportunity to head the gym and did some cardio and some boxing, Did a Standard 12 Round Fight before heading home and relaxing. I felt completed and felt as if I earned my meal. Had a good video chat with my Ex and I realized her father had some of the worst and I mean the worst Christmas sweater.
  14. Personally, I like the Military as it opens a variety of career doors depending on your field, I'd likely find myself going into Piloting or Medical. Both fields having easy transitions into the civilian field if want to work as most airlines and cargo airlines like those with experience flying military aircraft. Personally, the US Military has one of the best Pensions, Paychecks and Benefits. Allowing me to further my Education after my service or simply Retire at 40. It's a Mixture of Passion and Options that makes the Military My Option. It opens the doors that I want to go through and I'm
  15. Day 13. I recently found small group of friends to play with on the Nintendo Switch. Surprisingly. I don't feel the same energy suck with PC Gaming and It feels nice to compete and talk with them again...I realize Gaming is still apart of me but I've found a way to control it and turn it into a positive experience. Spring Break is here but I have little to do besides study and deal with assignments...Hopefully something comes up.