Kam

I relapsed on September 4th. I figured that posting on GameQuitters for two weeks helped me get my gaming habits in check. If I can easily go without gaming for two weeks, then I should be able to only game for a little bit each night and avoid competitive games, right? Wrong. I lied to myself again. I gradually went right back to staying up all night playing competitive games. Tonight was a low point for me. I played the two games I said I would avoid but I always gravitate back to. I got furious over losing, had a meltdown, and then tossed all my gaming stuff back into the drawer. I can't control myself and it's extremely frustrating to me. I still don't understand why I can't casually game. If I could just not play competitive games, I think I would be alright, but somehow I always end back up in the same shitty position. Until I figure that out, I need to stay away from gaming entirely. Today (September 16th) starts Day 1.

✅ Day 15 (Sept 2nd) Thanks @BooksandTrees. Yeah, definitely seeing improvement. I'm progressing further in the areas I want to grow in

Day 14 (Sept 1st) done. Already passed two weeks! I'm not sure what my long-term goal is with this. Gaming wasn't debilitating for me, it was just a serious time waster when I played games that made me angry or stressed. I'd like to return to gaming at some point, but I would need to either avoid competitive games entirely or figure out a better way to manage my emotions while playing them. Easier said than done. I also want to get to the point where I enjoy other hobbies just as much as gaming, if not more. That way, I don't automatically default to gaming when I have spare time. I want gaming to be a way to relax only when I need to relax. I'm apprehensive about returning to gaming any time soon, though. I think 90 days is a good objective, and I think I've seen that recommended on this site somewhere. The past two weeks have been noticeably different. I've read more, practiced creative hobbies more, and have been more focused. The only downside so far is that I still haven't found a way to relax effectively. I've felt tense, especially when work and home life are busy (which they usually are). The pros definitely outweigh that con.

Day 13 done! I have certain friends and coworkers who I relate to via gaming. Most of our conversations are about games. I haven’t told anyone that I’ve stopped playing, either. I’ll need to find new topics to talk about with them. Otherwise, talking about games will pull me back towards them.

Day 11 complete, Day 12 going alright. It's a Sunday afternoon and everyone in the house is napping except me. I was going to try to be productive during this time. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have urges to game right now 😅 Going to just put it out of my mind and do something slightly less productive than working, but way better than gaming: reading a book.

Thanks @BooksandTrees! Nothing major planned. Weather has been pretty crappy so likely staying indoors most of the weekend. I'm currently working on a side project, and plan to read more of a new book I picked up - Flash Boys. How about you?

Day 10 complete. Hope everyone has a good weekend 😀

I had a dream last night that I was playing video games. Interestingly enough, the dream-version of myself was disappointed that I had relapsed. I was relieved to wake up 😀. Day 8 in the bag, and Day 9 going alright. I've been getting a lot more exercise and doing other healthy habits during this time, so I feel focused and alert.

Yesterday went okay. I had my first strong gaming urges since I quit a week ago. The good news is, I discovered a trigger: drinking. I had a beer in the evening after finishing up with work and I felt the pull into the old routine of grabbing a beer and hopping on Rocket League (a common pattern for me after the wife and kid are sleeping) I managed to curb it off and occupied my time with something more productive and creative. Day 8 going well so far!

Day 5 (Sunday) and Day 6 (Monday) both went smoothly. No strong urges so far, but I know they'll come soon. Along with writing in this journal, another is avoiding gaming videos on YouTube. I've managed to replace that idle time with other activities, mainly reading. Today is Day 7. Almost done with a full week!

Day 3 (yesterday) was a success. Work kept me busy! Day 4 going well so far. Worked on some personal coding in the morning, and getting outside for the rest of the day. No strong urges to game.

Thanks for the feedback! Day 2 of no gaming is going well. Of course, a friend I haven't talked to in a while reached out and wanted to play a game together online. I found an excuse to decline. I'll definitely miss the social aspects of gaming. I also picked up a book I had been putting off reading for a while. I used to strive for reading 10-15 pages a day at a minimum to keep up the pace of reading a certain number of books a year.

Hey all, Today starts day one of no gaming. My introduction can be found here: I've started the morning off well - I woke up early, got a quick workout in, and now I'm starting this journal. My gaming PC and Switch are tucked away inside a cabinet in the basement. Last night after I wrote my introduction, I also wrote a letter to myself and placed it on top of my gaming PC. I'm hoping that the letter will help prevent me from relapsing. I don't have any urges to game right now, but all it takes is one stressful day at work and I know I'll be itching to install games on my iPad. If anyone reading this and looking for a fiction book recommendation, I read the His Dark Materials trilogy earlier this year. The first book is called The Golden Compass. I highly recommend the series! The author is currently writing the final book of a follow-up trilogy. I'm thinking about picking up the first two books in the new trilogy this week, as recently I've been trying to read some fairly dry non-fiction, and I don't consider that to be relaxing. Thanks for reading. I wish everyone the best of luck.

Hey all, My gaming addiction isn't as severe as some of the others I've seen on here, but it's negatively affecting my life and I've repeatedly hit "gaming lows", and so it's time for me to talk about my addiction. I'm 28 years old. I've been addicted to video games all throughout my teenage and adult years. I've had some great memories with gaming - I played Everquest and WoW a ton as a teenager, and as an adult I've switched to playing a lot of competitive games, mostly Super Smash Bros and Rocket League. But gaming has always been a problem for me. As a kid, my aunt once shut off the power via the circuit breaker in the room just so I'd stop playing PS2 and go outside. As a teenager, I remember blowing off my friends and rushing home so I could hop on Eve Online. In college, I discovered Minecraft and got horrible grades one semester because I constantly skipped classes to play. Now, I've got a wife, a toddler, and another kid on the way. I have a career in software engineering and I'm beginning to take the next steps into leadership. I don't have a lot of free time anymore, and I can't afford to waste what time I have with gaming when it doesn't make me happy or help me relax. I've had numerous moments in my life, many recently, where I've been playing a competitive game and I've raged so hard that I hate myself for playing games in the first place. This is the cycle that always happens: I'll stop gaming for a few weeks I'll convince myself that I can get the same enjoyment and relaxation from other non-gaming activities, like piano, drawing, watching TV, reading books, etc. I'll start to be "on edge" all the time and allow the stress to build up without an effective way to decompress. I'll start to snap at my wife and coworkers I'll convince myself that I can game again, but I need to keep it under control. I'll adopt some methodology to limit how much I game or incentivize other "productive" activities to allow myself to game (e.g. HabitRPG was the most recent one) I'll follow this new methodology for a few weeks I'll hit a point where I'm not supposed to game (e.g. I haven't gathered enough coins in HabitRPG to "buy" gaming time), but I end up gaming late into the night anyways. Sadness follows, but I'll recoup from it I'll slowly stop following the new methodology until I ignore it completely and begin gaming more and more frequently I will continue until I reach a critical mass, where I explosively tear out all of my gaming stuff, throw it all in the basement, and swear off gaming. Self-hate follows. Repeat. This just happened tonight with Super Smash Bros Ultimate. My gaming PC was already packed away in the basement, but now I've tossed my Switch down there as well. I can't bring myself to just give all my gaming stuff away but I keep feeling like that's what I need to do. I haven't read or watched any Game Quitters resources yet but I plan on doing that tonight. I'm sure there are better ways to address this addiction. Thanks for taking the time to read this.