Day 55. 35 days til detox done. I am teetering real close to breaking the detox, to be honest.
So, as an exercise, I'll write out how I expect things will play out if I break the detox:
I'll set a schedule and time commitments for gaming. I'll use timers to both set an end time, and to set regular breaks to stretch my legs. The benefit is that I have something fun to look forward to during the week, and I'll have a signal as to when things are going wrong (e.g. gaming on off days, gaming outside time commitments).
That schedule will go well for a month or two
I'll encounter stress in my life, e.g. work or family. I'll excuse myself to gaming on off-days to help "relieve stress".
I'll start to lose focus on other things. I'll think about gaming the majority of time. The quality of my work, relationships, etc. will all slowly deteriorate. I'll be less present in conversations.
I'll start to lose sleep. Poor sleep negatively impacts just about every area of my life.
I will teeter on this for a few months.
I'll hit some breaking point, where I am so exhausted and fed up with myself that I will declare "that's it! I cannot have a healthy relationship with gaming. I need to take a long break"
I will revisit this journal.
I wish I knew the secret to just... stopping at the second bullet point. I am hopeful that a long detox will embed in my brain positive memories and habits that aren't gaming, so that I don't have to abstain fully from it but I don't rely on it either.
I'm glad I wrote here - that's enough fuel for me to keep going on the detox.