Kam

I moved my journal to the discord channel

Starting this back up again, Day 1. I have such mixed feelings at seeing the 90 day detox celebration and the strong feelings around it, but being right back in the same spot now almost a year and a half later. A fair amount has changed (for the better) in my life. Promotion and new responsibility at work, started a business on the side, building a new house, having kids who are growing. The detox did a lot for me. For a few months, I was able to go back to gaming in a healthy and sustainable way. I have a lot of new stress in my life, mostly due to work, and it's caused me to slip back into very unproductive habits over the past year. I've hit a low point, where I'm sitting here with ~4 hours of sleep, unable to focus on anything work related, and all I want to do is play games. It's been like that off and on for months. One of my habits is journaling, and I have about ~13 years worth of journals. I went through them this morning and, to no surprise, I've been writing about my struggles with these bad habits for the entirety of the time. So many journal entries filled with self-loathing thoughts about staying up late gaming (along with other bad habits). The journals are enough evidence for me to know that: I have core issues with dealing with stress and anxiety in a productive way Gaming is, and always will be, something that I will struggle with moderating while I have responsibilities that cause stress in my life Abstaining from gaming is the most productive thing I can do about the situation (like I saw last year) Hope all of you who have posted in the past are doing well with your own journeys. Here's to starting mine back up!

Day 90! Feels great committing to something and then finishing it. I have to jump right into work this morning, I'd like to write my thoughts on the detox more in depth when I have time in the next few days. Plus, talk about my plans from here. Thanks to everyone for the support 🙂

Day 87. Last day of house work. It's the weekend. I'm absolutely exhausted. 3 more days until 90 days is done and I can give myself a big ol' pat on the back.

Day 86: same update! half of the work was done on monday and tuesday, the other half is being done tomorrow. so every night has just been busy moving things around to prep for all of it. no time to think about games but I don't think I would be thinking about them anyways. new book: red rising. great so far. 4 more days until 90 day detox is complete

Welcome back to the forum! I agree with Yan. There's plenty of games that scratch the same itches that DOTA does. I remember when I quit Super Smash Bros and I ended up falling in the same trap with Rocket League. Lots of online competitive games that end up being massive time sinks and destroy your focus. So that's the main thing to watch for during your detox - something else taking the place of dota.

Day 83: house work is well underway and has taken up 90% of any free time I have. it'll be most of this week but by this weekend it should be wrapped up. 7 more days! 💪

Hey Dean! Welcome to the forum, glad to have you here. It sounds like achievement / showing progress is important to you. It's one of the "needs" that gaming fills and is called out in Respawn, the guide attached to Game Quitters. The 90 day detox will force you to find hobbies to replace the needs that gaming filled. It's not just a mentally engaging activity that shows progress - there's also low-energy resting and social aspects of it too. Gaming fills a lot of needs, and you'll need a few hobbies to fill the void It's worth committing to a firm detox. I'm just shy of 90 days in and I'm now reading more books, more engaged and present in my relationship and with my kids, able to focus way better, and sleeping way better. 90 days is enough that you'll hit stressful moments in your life and be forced to deal with it without resorting to gaming as a crutch. After that, you can choose if you abstain longer or how to gradually reintroduce it into your life in a healthy way instead of as an escape. Best of luck, hope to see more journal entries from you, Kam

Day 80: 10 more days! excited to complete the detox. putting together a plan of how I want to approach all of this after the detox is done

Such a great point here, Yan. I love the use of "push and pull". Pushing is hard, getting pulled feels a lot better. I remember days where I didn't think about gaming because I was so engrossed in a personal project. It's hard to come by those moments now, mainly because with young kids I'm exhausted by the end of the day and just want to relax, but it's still possible. I do need to set some new long term goals. I'm at the point I want to be in my life (great job, family, kids, etc.) but there's still more I can do to continuously improve. Especially with exercise! Day 79 looking good!

Day 78: I spent a lot of time yesterday writing about my view on negative habits and escapism. I've learned a lot from this detox... and I've learned that it's not just video games that can cause these types of issues. The obvious one is doom-scrolling on Tiktok or Reddit. Any kind of artificial dopamine hits for surface-level entertainment. You can't just think your way out of this problem. There is no way I would have gotten this level of understanding while still playing video games. I needed to detox to see what the real problems were. Avoidance and escapism are cemented at the top of the problems in my life. I've caught myself trying to engage in other bad habits that do the same thing. Now, I've learned (the hard way!) that the solution for avoidance and escapism is to address the root of the thing causing your stress head-on. You can solve any problem you face.

Day 76: Trip went well! No urges to play during it, which was great. Now it's time to prep for house construction work, so that will keep me busy. 14 more days until the 90 days is complete!

Day 66/90: last night before my trip. It'll be over a week until I post again. The only thing I'll need to stay vigilant against is getting bored at night and downloading games on my phone - but I'm confident that I won't relapse, as I've never really played phone games (except for Chess) and I'll be exhausted from the day's activities. Good luck to all here on your own journeys!

Day 65/90: no urges. just very, very tired from kids being up all night!

Well of course, losing focus on the goal / getting complacent puts you at a higher risk of relapse. On the other hand, being confident and really seeing a vision for the end goal (like I described) is not losing focus or being complacent! Day 64/90 going well. Just got done with a run and a cold shower, feels fantastic