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About OptimisticMalcontent

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  1. I'm going to go against the tide on this one and say it will to some degree. Gaming sets a high threshold for enjoyment of a task or activity, pretty similar to other endorphin releasing activities like cocaine use or consuming sugar. Your brain likes to balance itself out, so It will reduce the endorphins released, or reduce their effect. The result is you need to game, JUST TO FEEL NORMAL. You may not even enjoy it anymore. This also makes it difficult to enjoy every day activities, like studying because again, the threshold is set so high. So while you may not immediatel
  2. Thank you for sharing those insights. That'll probably save me a lot of trial and error. Thanks for chiming in!
  3. Thank you, that really helps. You went into how you use these platforms to benefit you and connect you to the real world. Could you tell me more about how you control your use of tech for entertainment?
  4. Thanks for chiming in. Feels good to know that I'm not the only one.
  5. Day 0 - Wrestling With God Today has been... hard. I'm having issues at work and wanted to numb myself. I decided to order and Xbox controller to play games on my computer. Ultimately I made the right decision, cancelled the order and returned here to get a sense of accountability. I graduated into the worst possible job market with a Masters degree in marketing. But, I did myself a disservice by not looking as hard as I could and settling for a retail job(which i took initially just to survive). I've also robbed myself of opportunities to learn and grow socially, creatively, and aca
  6. It's endless web browsing, reddit, youtube, and social media scrolling that terrify me. It almost feels like I'm a balloon. I squeeze on one end of my vices, and the other grows proportionately. If I get the slightest bit uncomfortable or frustrated with a task, I put on Netflix or Hulu, or Prime video. Feels like I always have to have a podcast or long form youtube video or SOMETHING going on in the background. How have you guys dealt with this?
  7. Day 0 Quote of the Day - With your personality, ability to work on a team, and motivation, you will definitely find a job - My Career Coach Hey, guys. I'm back. I RELAPSED Around day 11 or day 12, I realized that I would never be able to play my favorite games again. I have a love hate relationship with these online games. They kept me sane during my traumas, depression, and even thoughts of suicide. But, ultimately, they added to my isolation. I changed so much during my 30 day media fast and 90 day detox, that I wondered if games and media-consumption were REALLY problems
  8. Ideal therapy is between you and a mental health professional (Preferably a Psychologist or Licensed Clinical Social Worker), but when these options are not available it could be talking to a friend who's nonjudgmental and a good listener. It could also be expressing yourself through writing or music or art. The idea is that you face the challenges you have in your life and unpack them in a healthy way.
  9. Day 10 Thought I'd start the day out with a quote that stuck with me You've got what it takes! - My therapist encouraging me : D Today was a tough one. Not really as productive as I would have like to be, browsed the internet more than I wanted to (but no social media), did job research but didn't put out application etc. Feel trapped by my lack of vehicle, finances, job, and professional experience... but I still have just the tiniest bit of faith. Thank you for the support. I love you all! Goodnight
  10. @BooksandTreesThank you! I love the guy and his wife and my nieces and nephews, but he seems like the type you have to keep at arms length. Honestly, these are the hardest relationships. Where you know somebody 'cares' but they're likely to attempt to push your boundaries if you're not attentive.
  11. Day 9* Thought I'd start the day out with a quote that stuck with me The number of funerals is going up because of the Coronavirus. I find out about these funerals and invest in them - My younger brother describing his investment strategy Today was mundane and unusual at the same time. I spent the majority of my day helping my mom with mortgage paperwork. After that, I cleaned my bathroom. My younger brother had a hernia and I myself have had repetitive strain injury in my wrists which makes cleaning our shared bathroom difficult. The place was a mess and I couldn't take it any
  12. Day 7* Day 7 was good. Found myself connecting with family and old friends over the phone. I had a conversation with a friend who was working together with me on a video project before he gradated and left the city 6 months ago. We had only reached the conceptual phase of the product. Yesterday I was editing some footage he featured in and decided to give him a call. He was glad I called and we shared an intense conversation about the socio-economic race-wealth and equality gap. We later talked about continuing the project, and making it more raw and authentic. I was reluctant to call him
  13. If you're 30 years old and the average life expectancy is 82 years, then you have 52 years to practice. You don't have to make huge time investments, just consistent and incremental improvements. Yes, it's usually good to force yourself to go out, when you're just feeling a little bit lazy, but when you're running ragged it can be a good idea to power down a bit and let yourself recover. You're not lazy, you're human and you're going through a lot right now.
  14. Day 6 Today felt easier than the day before. I'm currently taking a hiatus from digital media (screens basically) and doing the 90-day gaming detox. I've been having a bit of trouble with the digital media detox. I put on a show for my brother to watch and ended up watching 7-8 minutes myself while I was (supposed to be) doing something else in the room. I've also been looking over his shoulder and watching/ listening to some of the youtube content he plays. I'm not going to lie... I feel a little guilty about that lol. I'll try to limit future transgressions to 2-3 minutes. My brot
  15. Hey man. I can relate to feeling so crushed by your ambitions that you don't have room to make mistakes, to even BE human. My therapist calls it obsessive compulsive personality disorder. I think the important thing to realize though is you are not the artist or engineer you'll be a year from now, or ten years from now. Assuming you're still practicing these crafts, your skills will grow, and you'll be able easily perform tasks you struggle with today. But you need to give yourself the freedom to practice and make mistakes until you get there. My 'thing' is writing, shooting, and editing vi