mokeboy

Day 1: June 6, 2020 I want to quit so badly. Frankly I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll relapse. I'm also afraid that I won't be as productive as I could be. I want to unlock my full potential. I want to achieve my goals and gaming is holding me back. I'm also afraid that even if I do somehow quit gaming I won't be able to achieve the goals I set for myself. I'm getting a flood of emotions that I normally don't feel and I am having difficulty processing them. I feel anger, anxiety, hopelessness. I feel a great deal of stress also. My life feels stagnant and I don't know how to progress. I'm taking summer courses for college but I still have about a year left before I can maaaybe graduate. My gpa is so low I need to get like all straight A's if I plan on graduating by next summer. I'm 27 years old and still living with my parents. I have a dead end job that I hate and I just don't know what to do. Everything moves so slowly and to top it off I feel like I have no talents. The only positive things I have going for me right now is that I'm very fit and I do high intensity training workouts 5-6 times a week and run on average 10 miles a week, with sprints mixed in. I guess that's one thing I'm proud of. I just need to eliminate my constant gaming. Whenever I finish an 8 hour shift at work and come home all I can think about is jumping on my computer and playing League of Legends or some sort of rpg. I want to stop. I want to improve my python coding and my information technology. I want to get better at messing with Archlinux and I want to be able to do CTF things eventually. Anyway this is pretty long so TL;DR: I am so uncertain if I can ever live the life I dream of and I feel like I'm going no where.

Hello, my name is Josh and I want to quit! I live in Hawaii and gaming has had way too much control over my life. I've wasted too much of my life playing video games and I want to be better.