BooksandTrees

Background art then loops for stuff like birds flying

Did a lot of drawing this weekend and finished all of my characters. Very exciting.

Happy new year to everyone! Let's be kind to ourselves and stay hopeful. Create our own destiny.

Thank you!

I live in a countryside now. I grew up in the country and then went to the city for college and disliked it after a while. Less stress out here.

Does focusing on your posture seem to help? I never focus on mine and wonder if I should.

Perfect mindset.

Today was much better. I got all my tasks done at work, cleaned my apartment, meal prepped, and got rid of some stuff I don't really need anymore. I feel like I vindicated myself from yesterday.

Today sucked. I went to work and just had no interest at all. Extremely hard to focus. I left early and just did nothing for most of today. I did clean my house and throw out some stuff but I didn't read, barely played the drums and didn't draw or do puzzles. I just kind of lounged. I made a very nice dinner and cleared out some space in preparation for moving in with my girlfriend. I'm very, very excited for this. I'm very grateful. Tomorrow is a new day. I would like to just stay on task and find positive things to do if I can't focus.

It seems like you've been spiraling down a bit. I don't mean this in a malicious way, but even if you look back at the structure of your posts, they just become big blobs with no organization and a sense of panic. I think it's time to reset a bit and not let one bad decision spiral into another. If you get the bad sleep and feel bad the next day, try to do something that day to help you rather than say the day is gone anyways so I'll keep going with porn and games and YouTube. That's just gonna lead to a big avalanche. I tried doing the club life for a little after quitting video games because I thought I could socialize but it was similar habits of staying up late and escaping life. I don't think you enjoy these things. Try to look back at your journal and see what daily and weekly things really work for you. I think you thrive on structure more. When something goes bad try to do some exercise or yoga the next day when you can't sleep, or journaling etc. It seems boring but it will slow down your mind. If you notice in the posts on this website when you're not doing well you have no paragraph structure and it's one blob written very fast. This shows you need to slow down and be more in the moment during these times of panic. Meditation, yoga, exercise, stretching, journaling, or something like that can help. Even a bath or shower. You're doing fine, you haven't failed. You feel bad from poor sleep. Video games give dopamine. You feel drained after games, porn gives more dopamine than games. You're looking for the next big fix because dopamine won't be as strong the more tired you become. You're doing fine. Takes a pause and regroup.

I think these are great steps. It's nice that you wrote your own draft article simultaneously with doing collaboration with others. I think it helps you identify your working style and what you like or dislike in team members. Good learning experience for your future work. I'd say keep setting up dates but not make them formulaic on dates per month but rather formulaic on emotions and life feeling week to week. Sometimes things vary so instantaneously and change fast.

That's a great quote. I just think humans are more relatable than we think and it's so important to have a sense of community for so many reasons.

Welcome to the forums!

Good job! Just be patient, be yourself, and put your morals and goals for yourself and children first and you'll meet the right guy who lines up with those ideals.

Thanks! Yeah, I find that many of us share the same core qualities as humans so I've always tried to be extremely transparent in my findings and thoughts regarding recovery and stuff. Figure it might help me relate to others and vice versa. Merry Christmas and glad you're here!

I've been very drained this week. Work has been boring and I've been less involved. Most people are on vacation and I finished my work. I'm looking forward to the 3 day weekend and just resetting. I've been doing a lot of bad habits and being lazy. I just need some time to relax and get away from this environment. I've been binging junk food, sleeping poorly, etc. It's because I'm so bored during the day and have no drive that after the day ends I don't feel like being productive after 9 hours of non productive time. I think I need a new strategy for breaking up the day when that happens. Instead of trying to push through the boredom maybe I just break it into sections.

My biggest take away is the mental freedom from the pull of gaming. Not feeling like I need to play. I can enjoy the moment now and relax.

I read my book today and had a good therapy session. I'm gonna commit to my better diet tomorrow. I've just been consuming food a lot from stress and I'm going to direct that stress into something positive like exercise.

Sounds like you did some meal prepping! Great job.

Start thinking about why you want to play when you get cravings and think of alternative activites in different environments.

I didn't have a very productive night yesterday. I kind of lounged a lot. I missed my girlfriend and was bored after kind of an easy day at work. That happens though. We'll be moving in together soon and work is picking up. We're allowed to have off days. I did manage to read 30 pages of my book so I enjoyed that. I also cleaned. Today i will read more and see if i end up drawing or drumming or both. I'm kind of leaning towards drawing but I have 6 hours or so. I'd like to exercise a bit too.

Look at the job and see if it will solve some of the workplace issues you're frustrated with at your current job. It might improve your life. As for a motto, I think you gotta find something that rallies you from failure to success and have that be the motto. Mine has always been success is measured by how high we bounce after hitting rock bottom.

That's great news. I'm assuming it's the 4 of you now and you're out of that situation? Congratulations on being very determined and never giving up. The world is a better place now for you and your children.

I did the same thing with tracking porn usage and weight loss and it helped. I should probably track weight again lol.

Glad to hear from you and hope you're doing well.