WorkInProgress

Hey soon you'll have the 3 weeks done.

Not playing games improved the relationship with my wife so much. Especially if you have a full-time job they'll take so muhc of your focus and energy. Why did you decide to quit? Where die games influence you in a bad way? If your able to see the WHY of this detox clearly it is easier to realize the HOW. Best of luck. I hope this will be the start of an awesome year for you!

Welcome. It gets easier after the first two weeks. Finding activities (like that jog) to evade gaming at all means for the first time is a good strategy to get over this first hump. Later on it becomes more about not lying to yourself (aka. I did so good for a month now. A little game won't hurt me now...) Fighting off the urge is a huge win. You only need to do it one day at a time and you'll finish this detox and stick to your commitment. Why did you commit to this? Any reasons why you want to change the person you was for the last years? Thinking about this stuff can motivate you a lot and improve your decision makeing in the future. Best of luck! I am rooting for you.

Awesome that I decided to comment right now then Use this as a chance to make what you want to do. If you always wanted to have a whiteboard were your goals are visualized: now is the time to get one and place it prominently in the midst of your empty flat. If you wanted to de-clutter and feel more zen: Now is the possibility to see how live would be with that little baggage. It isn't depressing by itself but you are (understandably so) depressed about it. Things are just things. Experiences are just experiences. They aren't good/bad by them self. They become good or bad because you evaluate them. This is normal but something important to realize. Because it enables you to see things how they are and not how you feel they should be. For example you could think: I don't even have a table anymore. I are a pathetic human being without even the basic things necessary for a civilized live. How would anyone be proud of someone so miserable. My life is in shatters. People can only pity me. I can only pity me. My back will hurt because I sit on the floor/bed all the time. I will fail studying because I can't sit anywhere comfortable anymore. Life is such a bitch. Or you could think: I don't have a table anymore. (And face any real problems when they occur. For example build/buy a basic table and chair. Or buy sitting cushions or whatever). This was only an over exaggerated example but it is a fact that emotions oftentimes don't let us see things like they really are. Look for the reality and most of life's problems aren't that complicated. That is also the reason why we usually can give really good advice to other people while failing to the right things ourselves. We aren't as emotional about other people problems. We are detached.

Week 3: 6. January 2017 - 13. January 2018 Goal one: av. 5/6 pomodori/day (not achieved) 29. : 3/430. : 4/4 (with some hours of work without pomodoros. Forgot the pauses) 31. : 1/2 01-05 : 1/1 06.: 8/8 My first goal wasn't thought through and went against my priorities in life. This was the last week I have at home before starting my new job and so I wanted to help my wife as much as possible and spent as muhc time with her and my son as I could. This priority with some more organisational things we did this week took my time this week. Yesterday at the 6. I cleaned for the first time as much as I wanted and did 8 pomodori of 30min with 5min breaks. felt awesome afterwards because this is somehting I would continually fail in the past. I will pause this goal but try to include pomodori in my new job and keep logging them here. I will use this week to figure out my new life balance with ca. 10 hours away at work and then will decide on a new goal next week I am roking towards. I don'T want to commit anything not realistic but can't really know right now what is realistic. So this will be a reflection week.

Detox: 16.10.2017 - 16.01.2018 (Porn and unproductive Youtube added for last month) Week 10 + 11 (31.12.2017-13.1.2017) The brother of my wife said he did a no sugar phase too and then started to eat it again at special occasions. This was the beginning of the end for him and now he is bad to his hold habit of eating. This made me think if this plan of mine to go back regulation is a good one. I don't wan't the only result of this detox to be a weight loss. I want it to become a change to a healthier lifestyle. I think I'll set a fixed limit of special occasion where I can eat sugar. I only eat sugary desserts it it if someone else made a effort to do something nice for me. I only eat sugary desserts at most at one day a week. This rules are simple and should prevent me to slip back after my detox. I am also making a reading list on nutrition right now. So if anyone reads this and has read good books on nutrition or the biochemistry of the human metabolism which he recommends I would appreciate it. I don't want to follow a nutrition hype blindly but educate myself. This means that pop-science books are welcome but I will read only one per buzzword (vegetarism, paleo, low carb, low fat, etc.). Right now I am reading "Good calories, bad calories" which seems to be biased a lot towards low carb. I think I will next read something more substantial about the metabolism because the scientific basics of nutrition will be helpful to evaluate the soundness of the diets around. Some things I try to achieve right now are a good balance of saturated and unsaturated fats and lesser carbohydrates(especially sugar/starch) ones. I try to cut down a bit on my bread/pasta intake and eat more fish and nuts. This seems to be pretty doable right now. If I find any other improvements I'll add them gradually.

My word for 2018 is Manhood. For me this means not being a child anymore, but a man. Becoming a man for me is about being confident in myself and doing the hard things. I want to stick to my commitments, be authentic with my environment, develop a stronger mind, body and willpower. This includes thinking things through before I commit to them and then give them my all. This includes being thankful for all the great things in my life and also for the bad things because they challenge me to become better. This include facing my emotions instead of detaching from them and still do the things which are right and not the ones which feel pleasant. It is time to stop playing around and complaining. It is time to become a man.

Not drinking besides one some rare occasions helps a lot with better sleep in my experience. Since I am a father now too I make it a habit never to drink when I should take care of my son. This way I am absolutely sure that I am able to react to whatever happens in the best possible way and with a clear judgement (and coordination!). In my mind this is part of my responsibility as caregiver for a baby who needs my help with anything. The only way to deal with him waking up I found is going to bed early. This way I have usually around 2-3 3 hour windows of sleep which is enough for me to feel pretty ok to well rested. I go to bed with my wife and the baby at around 20:00 and sleep usually around 21:00. This way we also have some time together where the baby is surely not waking up for around 3 hours which helps a little bit with the limited time we spent together at the day.

Hey I read your new journal from time to time but haven't made time so far to comment. Good job on working on your issues. Like making a study plan and actually studying a ton(!). Or figuring out that your ex has to leave for a new start. These things seems logical from the outside but if your in the situation it can be incredible hard to make these sometimes harsh decisions. I wouldn't freak out too much about morning routine and stick to that what worked. Meditation seems to help you a lot so this seems like a keeper. Jogging/Working out can be an awesome start but if you'll just need some activation in the morning a brisk walk in the fresh air does the same trick. Don't fall into the trap of optimizing to much in regard to the morning routine. It only helps you if you actually follow through with it and it actually enhances your mood and/or productivity. I did think and try a lot of stuff in the past and set myself under pressure to find a good routine. But I didn't do the work afterwards which should be facilitated or improved by the routine, so it was without purpose and senseless. It is good that you'll catch these thoughts right now. If your alone it is hard to stick to your promises and commitments. I struggle with this too. Whatever your depression/monkey.mind says: You are worth that you'll keep your word to yourself! Do it and you'll start believing this sentence.

It is strange if you realize that not only your behaviour but your perception of things has shifted. This is when you realize that yourself has changed. If you did everything right hopefully to the better

Made the same experiences as I tried out to game after my detox. Binging instead of having fun. All these bad habits returned pretty fast. I decided not to game anymore after this unpleasant experience.

i'll can't edit the old post anymore. Seems to be a bug. I keep count in a txt-File and summarize my pomodori next official post.

So better not have a hang over tomorrow ?

I though a bit about authenticity and how my connection and contributions to gamequitters.com fit into the picture of me. I haven't shared this journal on gamequitters with many people who know me personally. My wife and my best friend read it. Nobody else. I am right now safing my old journal in a txt-file and am wondering why I never made it public or shared my full contact details or picture. I never totally engaged with the community besides writing over 1,5k (!) posts. Why is this? I was ashamed for a long time. But I don't feel shame anymore. It is just who I was and am. This should be nothing new to the people who know me. This train of thought lead to thoughts about writing an inspiring story about my "journey" and share it with other gamequitters or even linking to my journals in my social media accounts. But I pondered some more days about the question and I don't think that shame or fear of bad professional reputation are the reason that I don't want to share more. It is just my private life. It is ok for people I know to have a look inside my private thoughts and I am not ashamed to have them and to did what I did. But nobody has a right to look into me with just a few clicks in the internet. I don't want to be a public person right now. I won't hesitate to share my story in person if someone is interested but I am not obligated to share it with anyone if I don't want to. Publishing this under my real name will enable anyone to read my private thoughts and feelings. Whilst I can defend them I don't want to have to defend myself. My private life is just that: private. I like it that I can share this here semi in public because I get feedback on my more or less anonymous account. And this sense for privacy is ok and is who I am. I don't have to be actually out in the open with everything if I am not ashamed of it. This is in fact no contradiction to beeing authentic. This leads to some consequences though. I won't be sharing more details of the real me. I won't become a official part of any role in the gamequitters team. I won't share this part of me with the world. I won't be as vulnerable in public. I won't make any public content (writing, video, etc) which deals with that part of me in detail. I most likely will not bond with other gamequitters in person (maybe if they contact me with pm's). @Hitaru @Mhyrion@giblets How is your approach to this? Did/Do you even think about it?

Yeah I always enjoy your entry's too.

You could plan to smile at a number of strangers every time you go out. Maybe even nod or greet them if they look into your face. In Germany this has brought me 70% strange looks and 30% happy greetings. But well southern Germany especially swabian people aren't known for their outgoing nature . It helped me to get my face away from my feet and watch people around me closer which I count as a good thing. Seems natural to do this by now. I can really recommend this practice. Maybe you'll notice something nice at acquaintances if you look at them more open and find an original and nice compliment.

Week 2: 29. December 2017 - 5. January 2018 Goal one: av. 5/6 pomodori/day (not achieved) last week: av. ca. 2/4 pomodori (planned to less even on the few days I hadn't free because of Christmas) I did some pomodori last week. But I planned to little activities because I didn't communicate my goal well enough with my wife and also wanted to take time to relax over Christmas. There were a lot of social events which made it hard to make time for focused work. Still the time where I went to work focused went great. I am motivated to do better this wek How do I want to achieve this goal this week? I'll update this post everyday with my daily pomodoro count. I'll talk with it about my wife that I want to have a productive week and will take every time I have to complete tasks in this focused way. If needed I will stay up longer. I'll make a todo list with things I can do besides cleaning/cooking and working on my project. so I#ll have no problems in finding work to do. 29. : 3/4 30. : 4/4 (with some hours of work without pomodoros. Forgot the pauses)

Detox: 16.10.2017 - 16.01.2018 (Porn and unproductive Youtube added for last month) Week 9 (23.12.2017-30.12.2017) No sugar / No porn / no unproductive Youtube I stayed strong over controversial which even earned me a wow from my sister. I spent more time with my wife and didn't plan anything for these days. I also failed to do enough of my focus work when I would had the time. But all in all it was a great time and I enjoyed the time off the grid. I also stopped every thing on my mobile phone which demands my attention. I finished my English vocabulary app which sent notifications every two hours ( I learned every word). I de-installed a tech news app and the curiosity app because I used them mainly to divert myself not to learn new things as I had hoped. Instead I focused more on reading and it was relaxing not have to wade through 10 notifications before I do something. I told last entry that I would focus on my health and nutrition but instead did explore the concept of manliness more. I listened to " The way of men" and checked out some content from the Art of Manliness. I found it fascinating even besides the political implications where I somehow disagree. Especially the author of the way of men seems to have some controversial political views which I don't necessarily share. This made it even more interesting to listen to because I could challenge my way of thinking. A unrelated concept which I found useful the last days is the way of thinking about the detox. I wan't to be authentic. This means that I want to do only things I could defend if everyone would knew I am doing them. Just be myself and be ok with it. I am working on the grey areas where I am not proud but not really ashamed of. Porn is one area. YouTube-Usage another one. Also my trustworthiness. That's why I don't just stop gaming for some time until I can handle it or eat not sugar and fall back into my own ways. My own ways change instead. I become someone who doesn't game and waste time. I become someone who reads self-help literature to become a better man/husband/friend/father/person. I become someone who lives healthy and doesn't need dopamine rushes to evade problems because he is able to feel bad and still be proactive and do the right things instead of the things who feel right in the moment. This is a progress which changes my personality and the way I am. As soon as I realised that I am not that old person anymore it feels almost easy to do the right things (no porn/no games/no procrastination). I finally believe that change to the better is not only possible but my reality. And I am far from finished.

Week 1: 21. December 2017 Challenge one: Give 100% at my current task. If I commit to anything I want to give it 100%. I won't work all the time but if I do I want to focus as hard as I can. Right now I try a lot of things but my intensity is usually low-mediocre. I think of other things which could be more productive. Instead of following a preset plan I often deviate from it which in most cases distracts me from beeing productive. It is a hard thing to measure my progress but I will do use the pomodorro technique to be focussed. I will also plan every week how much time I'll invest in different goals and projects and will measure the amount of the time where spent in pomodorro work mode without letting myself or others distract me. Only time will be counted which was spent in a successfull pomodorro. Even if I did 90% of my pomodorro time undistracted it won't count. I'll try to implement this at work to if I start to work. That also means no distraction, no audiobook no music, just raw focus and short breaks if the pomodorro is over. It will also require me to plan better. I will achieve my goal if I spent at least 1 week with a productivity percentage (as above defined) of over 75% and with a planned work amount of more then 3,25 hours (or 6 pomodorros).

What do I commit to? I will keep this journal on a weekly basis to evalulate my progress and to invite like-minded people to give their input and their advice while I strive to reach my goals. I will invest atleast 15min in this journal every week not matter what happens. What will this journal be about? It will be about myself. About where I am, where I want to go and what I do to get to that place. I will use it to write out my (s.m.a.r.t) goals and projects, my progress, my failures and my successes. I will also write out my reasons for every goal I want to reach. It will be as specific as possible and goal oriented. It will document my progress over atleast the next year. It will motivate people to do as well or better then me and communicate with me over similar goals. What will this journal not be about? Rants about my private life or my fears. This will not be a tool of reflection of feelings. This will not be an intimate journal. It won't be personal or aimed to be entertaining. Why don't I write in a private journal? Because I want the approval of my peers and love feedback. It motivates me to improve and keep the commitments I make for myself.

Hi it is important to grow up and to grow into a man. I am right now explore the meaning of it and listen and read material and books with that topic because in some way becoming a father makes you realize you need to grow the fuck up. This video could be interesting for you too thats why embedded it here.

I listened to this video and it hit home with me. I think it could be interesting for you two. Look into it if you'll like.

Yeah I took it easy because in reality it is no processed sugar with a few exceptions (I still eat some ready made sauces once a week or every two weeks because some dishes just taste right if they taste like my mother mad it :D). I eat some fruit sugar but because of the fibres it isn't as stimulating as sweet snacks. So I still eat sugar in reality. Just not the classical fast processed glucose/fructose mix which is added to every fix-made meal. I cook more for our family and don't do desserts or sweets beside sometimes fruit salad. This makes it pretty doable. I am tempted to continue after the 90 days with some cheat days. Maybe sunday pancakes from time to time. Or at a social event if someone made a special dessert.

https://bebrainfit.com/increase-dopamine/ Great article about dopamine and things we can do to increase the amount and effectiveness of dopamine. It basically explains wiht a lot of sources every good habit I tried so far Check it out for motivation and information.

Makes sense!