WorkInProgress

What do I commit to? I will keep this journal on a weekly basis to evalulate my progress and to invite like-minded people to give their input and their advice while I strive to reach my goals. I will invest atleast 15min in this journal every week not matter what happens. What will this journal be about? It will be about myself. About where I am, where I want to go and what I do to get to that place. I will use it to write out my (s.m.a.r.t) goals and projects, my progress, my failures and my successes. I will also write out my reasons for every goal I want to reach. It will be as specific as possible and goal oriented. It will document my progress over atleast the next year. It will motivate people to do as well or better then me and communicate with me over similar goals. What will this journal not be about? Rants about my private life or my fears. This will not be a tool of reflection of feelings. This will not be an intimate journal. It won't be personal or aimed to be entertaining. Why don't I write in a private journal? Because I want the approval of my peers and love feedback. It motivates me to improve and keep the commitments I make for myself.

Hi it is important to grow up and to grow into a man. I am right now explore the meaning of it and listen and read material and books with that topic because in some way becoming a father makes you realize you need to grow the fuck up. This video could be interesting for you too thats why embedded it here.

I listened to this video and it hit home with me. I think it could be interesting for you two. Look into it if you'll like.

Yeah I took it easy because in reality it is no processed sugar with a few exceptions (I still eat some ready made sauces once a week or every two weeks because some dishes just taste right if they taste like my mother mad it :D). I eat some fruit sugar but because of the fibres it isn't as stimulating as sweet snacks. So I still eat sugar in reality. Just not the classical fast processed glucose/fructose mix which is added to every fix-made meal. I cook more for our family and don't do desserts or sweets beside sometimes fruit salad. This makes it pretty doable. I am tempted to continue after the 90 days with some cheat days. Maybe sunday pancakes from time to time. Or at a social event if someone made a special dessert.

https://bebrainfit.com/increase-dopamine/ Great article about dopamine and things we can do to increase the amount and effectiveness of dopamine. It basically explains wiht a lot of sources every good habit I tried so far Check it out for motivation and information.

Makes sense!

This feeling crept on me over a while (even before I quit all games). Games doesn't seemed fun anymore and I felt always bad if I played them (couldnt't stop to either though). As I commited to the detox and actually managed to stay away from most of my binge habits (did some anime/youtube/random stuff) I felt like I could not only feel stuff again but actually think for my own for the first time in a long period. Like the autopilot was off and I had to steer my emotions and brain on my own again. Great feeling to have :). That was what drove me back to not gaming even after I played a bit after the detox again and again. I just feel better if I am not gaming at all.

Welcome to the forum. Such changes in life bare the possibility to change yourself for the better. If you don't know how to start besides deleting your games here are the fundementals explained: https://gamequitters.com/video-series-1/ Do you plan to have a daily journal rhytm? If yes I would advise your to plan a specific time for it (after breakfast, before going to bed, something else which suits your lifestyle). THis way it becomes a habit and way easier to follow through. As I did this detox over 2 years ago I found especially LoL hard to quit. Instant gratification and the possibility to dig myself in another world and subculture and escape from the things I feared I couldn't do, had become automatic. Especially the relationsship with my wife did really suffer under this. Use this shitty experience of getting dumped to become the most awesome version of your self. If you'll need anything feel free to ask here or somewhere else in the forum and I'll be happy to lend you my brain. I try to look especially often in the new journals to give feedback, because it helped me so much as I got feedback from people who don't get payed for it.

Detox: 16.10.2017 - 16.01.2018 (Porn and unproductive Youtube added for last month) Week 8 (15.12.2017-22.12.2017) Still no sugar. I am more productive then I was before and using my time more efficiently lately. I use the time I have mostly to spent time wiht ym family and doing chores which is fine by me because my family is still priority nr.1. If I have some free time liek right now I should do more programming to finish that damned skill before christmas. But right now I think posting on gamequitters for half an hour is a quite good past time for relaxation. Soon there will be christmas. We allready have a beautiful christmas tree standing in our living room and I am really happy to have our first christmas as three. Things are still sometimes challenging and especially my mobile usage has to decrease. I often think I am productive (with reading ebooks on my phone or listening to audiobooks) but in reality it leads to me beeing not present and taking longer for easy chores or not paying enought attention to my wife. I try to read on kindle app with an audiobook playing on 2* speed if I have some time for for it. Maybe this will help to remember topics better (because two senses are used). I didn't do porn and wasn't really unproductive wiht youtube but isntead selected the content I consumed pretty well. Still room for improvement there though. I think if I keep getting tougher I can spent time consumed in time producing more content (programming writing). Especially the realisiation that to teach is a good way to learn stuff and keep it in memory should empower me to produce more (tutorials or summarys of content I consumed). Next year I'll have a fairly big commute to work. I think I'll use my new laptop then to write things out without internet. Will need some planning though (downloading sources etc.) I am pretty active wiht housework and helping my sister renovating and carrying my babyboy around so I am feeling ok with my missing excercise right now. I also loosing weight ( am around 78kilo) right now. So I feel like I am doing not optimal but not bad either on the fitness front. It feels like I am on track and I just need to steer a bit from time to time that I end at my destination.

Missing you

I did the same after a few months of posting in secret. Was really liberating and brought us closer.

Yeah that is sometimes the thing. It has it benefits but it can also suck dick if you don't like that admin/bare bone stuff. Linux Mint is awesome. Their are other similar beautiful and low maintenance distros like elements os or many others. Windows can be a fine choice and has some nice software developer programs. These zealots of any technology are just annyoing. For some cases some linux distros are better for some ohter cases Windows is a great choice. It is just a tool not a vengeful god people!

I know this feelng just to well. Fater studying for arounc 7 years of an engineering subject I am afraid that I know nearly nothing of the subjects. But I am sure it would come back way easier now if I needed the knowledge. And iI did some career switiching anyway and it seems to workout without me knowing anything of this stuff again:) If your job doesn't pay enough to be sustainable search something else. You cannot forget to fear the opiton where every thing stays the same. It is sometimes riskier to do nothing then to do something bold.

You get stronger if you go through tough days. Not the other way around. Make a plan for the next time you would usually binge and do something else. It doesn't have to be productive. Maybe go for a walk or visit some friends or family. Anything but these bad habits you build over time. This isn't the way out but you plan with the cognitive part of your brain an alternative in front and then you'll need less willpower to evade your negative behaviours. If your able to do this a few time it gets easier and easier. The key is to plan in front when you are still in control so it is very easy to follow through with it. A side effect is that you'll become more mindful of your own behaviour which is always a good thing.

Sry to hear about your relapse. What happened? Was their a specific trigger? Thinking about the relapse can help you to prepare for future similar situations.

That is exactly what I have done so many times. Escaping from stressful things and feeling shitty about it afterwards. It is hard to face the fact that yourself aren'T what you want to be. Not the one who is easily doing the things you want to do. It shouldn't be a surprise but somehow it feels bad everytime again and again. The thing is that this fear of failing is a root cause of procrastination. Seems illogical but it is still true. You'll need to look at these exams and challenges as a way to test your knowledge and to motivate you and not as a exam which evalulates your. It truly doesn't. It just evalulates your knowledge in a distinct topic. That has nothing to do with you beeing awesome or shitty. It is a chance to see where your knowledge needs to be improved and give you the chance to improve it. And be it only your studying habits. See the benefit in the challenge and don't be afraid. There is so much to gain and in reality very little to loose.

Good job. Now it is time to do a great study plan and start small with it. Otherwise this will overwhelm you. Don't postpone starting that is the most important part

It seldom helps to see the bad things gaming did to you even if this isn't intuitive you'll need to see the good things that come from not gaming. You want to become another person. A person free from clutches or addictions. Free to do how you like. Free from having to do things only because the are comfortable and you are used to it. A person with high self-esteem beeing in control of his own body and mind. What your feeling right now is just the detox. It is normal to struggle. But this will pass as soon as you are able to accept that this haven't to be you anymore. Sitting around drinking and playing meaningless games just that you don't feel lonely. Thats you only you if you choose to be that person. You can be the proactive person who uses the free time to do something awesome. Or you can choose to relapse. It is your choice. Everytime you choose against relapsing, everytime you try again after you relapsed you stop beeing that person who is ruining his life with addictive behaviour and becoming this second awesome person. Btw. this doesn't mean that your accomplishiment your clan or your time gaming was bad. You took a lot of great things out of it and it helped you in your past. But you can honor this in your mind and choosing a different lifestyle for tomorrow. I like the time I had playing with friends online and competing for endless hours. I liked how I felt if I watched these replays and beeing part of my little niche gaming culture. I am still so much happier how my life is now after I freed myself from the burden to have the pressure to game all the time because nothing else felt satisfying. These things aren't contradictory. Remember the good but make your decision anyway. Not because you have to, but because you are free to choose it. Because you chose it at the start of your detox. You owe this to yourself.

I know this feeling. Sometimes prioritization works great sometimes you just do a little bit of everything and need to get back on track to see improvements. Still a little bit from everything is better then doin nothing. I wish you success at going into productive mode again.

Not gaming is a win even if it sometimes doesn't feel like it. Hope you become well again soon.

The reason why you should quit the detox and my biggest problem in self-improvement summarized. https://simpleprogrammer.com/2014/12/29/want-accomplish-goals-become-finisher/

Welcome I am looking forward to check out your daily journal

I also do my "coding" on Linux. I learned a bit of C in University so I thought it would be good idea to start with C/C++. I did some object oriented samples and semi-useful projects but never produced anything real. I also tried some pyhton and bash scripting. But after I found a job as a atlassian software consultant I reorienteted and right now just do learn by doing projects. Right now I am programming an alexa skill for my echo which will give me the age of my newborn child in weeks (I am always struggling to remember :D). To do this i learn some basic javascript and node.js. I recently am in strong favor of doing small projects and learning on the fly what I'll need to know instead of trying to "master" a programming language which is in the end an impossible task. This way it hopefully sticks because I apply it immediatly.

Also have these friends and coulnd't understand it either. BUt well I just can't play normally or in moderation. I always binge and obsess and owuld still do if I would still game. Some peopel have healthy relationship with gaming others don't. The same goes for alkohol.

I am very interested in software development and do some programming myself. What language/tech stack you did programming in the past?