Hitaru

Almost there @Zala. Everyone has their own stuff going. Other people's reactions are their own. If you live with honesty, awareness and a genuine desire to improve yourself and yet other people react with hostility, you're obviously not the bad guy there, but them. You shouldn't spend any of your precious time around people who pretend to be perfect and flawless. And all of this assuming this person you mention would react badly to finding out your struggles. And that, in my experience at least, is a very big and improbable assumption. The majority of people actually want to connect, and nothing works better for that than vulnerability (which is a very distinct thing from "drama").

"This is your brain on Jesus Christ"

Kudos to small steps, ice-cream boats and the aussie GQ Squad (I'm a right-footer myself, though I must say my running technique is utter garbage ) Stay positive man, you can't choose how to feel but you always have the option on how to react. Everything that happens from the outside of your brain to your skin is your domain.

So close indeed!

As @giblets also said, closure is important. Forward to the next level!

Welcome back @Piotr! How have you been?

The best advice I can give you is to stay calm for a moment and focus. You seem overwhelmed by many emotions right now (which is completely normal on the other hand). Don't take it too harsh on yourself if you trip, but don't use that as an excuse to be complacent either. Simply don't obsess over "what should I be doing", you're discovering that right now. First observe, then theorise, then apply. These first days are just for you to see how are you feeling, when do you feel good and bad and why, and then plan over that self-knowledge. Makes sense?

Vas muy bien, sigue así

So excited and happy for you! You know yourself and what you need to do to succeed, now you just need to enforce it. You can do it!

Awesome ideas.

Procrastination and escapism my friend, one of the main reasons why people play video games. What could be other forms of dealing with stress while still meeting your obligations?

That's the point I was trying to make, you probably wouldn't be telling me this if I was a woman. I had the impulse to exert aggression towards her regardless of gender. And there are really violent women out there who don't control their impulses because they are not socially reprimanded. Specially against men, and that's no misogyny but a plain fact. Violence is violence no matter the subject or the object. Or it should be at least. That's the problem man, she should know me by now, but doesn't. Never made a real effort to observe the reality of who I was and adapt (like I've been doing with her and myself with tremendous struggle), but instead she kept hitting her head against a big wall of "What a son should be". Not even the perfect son, just a 'normal' son. Expectations my friend. Don't fall for them. Comic is complex to understand, to be honest.

I was always attracted to the idea of becoming a real life version of this weird NPC who wanders around leaving cryptic pieces of life advice. You could begin to work towards that

Make it 7 actually! I was able to squeeze another of those youth exchanges in the last minute. December's full of travelings, excellent! Intriguing. Please do! Edit of day: Great workout! Only one personal training session until the test. My, my! The intrigue.

Awesome to hear that! I have the impression your friends have the potential to help you a lot in this journey. The culture I was raised is all about getting by two or four months of menial work and then lazy around the rest of the year in festivals and the beach. Really sad. Surround yourself with people who empower you.

Welcome Uaskar! I did the same and I don't regret it. Change requires initiative and initiative sometimes requires an economic investment as a form of commitment (this goes against the average spanish cultural context, so it's a good thing to challenge the mainstream view). Also absolute support for your intention to focus on daily work. I'm also a big fan of overanalizing and sometimes what folks like us really need is to say "Fuck it" and jump straight to what we have right in front of us. I wish you the best of lucks. (We)'re not, hah. Awesome to see that you are. Also you know, your grandparents are praised because it's generally considered they were on 'survival-mode', everything they did beyond not starving was a plus. People our generation is supposed to go to Uni like an identity-defining duty.

Thanks for the advice! Escape is a human need, and it would be completely fine if you just liked to take a walk or something equally "non-productive" (per se). Identify your needs and look for the solution that works best for you, no need to "be productive" just because. Unless that's what you want of course

Boy, if you talk the way you write it must be crazy to be around you! Your enthusiasm is contagious! Just... give me a bit of time to process in my head everything you've been talking about

Day 2 as good as any other It's normal if you feel weird or empty at the beginning of a cold turkey streak. Breathe it away man. It will pass. You know how the dopamine circle works and how you are supposed to feel bored as hell right now, so don't worry. It's a good moment to plan what you want to do next. By the way you write you don't seem very motivated right now, do you think it's because games were numbing you, or maybe some changes should be made in your life? How should a normal day look for you if you could do anything in your current capacity? What can you do to improve yourself, right here and now?

Insert NASA countdown voice-over?

Welcome! Don't worry if you don't feel like dropping walls of text now. Set your own pace. A million times this. Those moments of 'clarity' when we know what we need to do are the times when we should set things up for future success. And it works

I've installed Rescue Time on my laptop and... Oops. I didn't know I spent my time THAT badly. What a blunder. Well, knowledge is power in any case. This last week of training is being a roller-coaster of emotions. Yesterday was the shit, today was great. Tomorrow a mystery. Anxiety has been making my life a chaos and I'm not happy in the slightest about it, but I must carry on and work with what I have. It's just a handicap, I can make it work anyway. Family life ok. Cat may be allergic to something but his sick eye is acting weird. No idea. Grandma's mental state is on free fall. I've been feeling more 'weak' towards my SO and despite how silly it may sound, it worries me. A dangerous feeling of sensational (from sensations) adoration that doesn't tamper my free will but leaves me vulnerable to heartbreak. Chilling just to think about it. Uncomfortable. Weird. His presence alone is soothing. I don't particularly need to talk about anything with him, though he's competent. Only his company goes just fine (literally, without innuendo). Statistically speaking, it's only 4 more months of this state and yet I don't worry about the future in the slightest. If where to place him in my life is a question, I feel strangely confident in my ability to figure it out at any time. Man, I wish the rest of my life was like that, it somehow feels like I have a shitty house with a golden roof. I wonder what am I doing I'm this particular aspect that I'm not doing in the others...?

Welcome to the forum! As an aspiring (Spanish) Navy myself I can relate a lot with your motives back then, I'm also looking to join to 'grow up' past my previous (and still kind of current) NEET-couch potato state. I'm aware there's gaming inside the military as well and if I enter I'll have to keep an eye on those lonely and boring 24 hour shifts. Thank you for your honesty, it's not so easy to admit mistakes that could harm professional reputation. It's a great sign that you do, don't lose that. You've made a great job reflecting on the impact gaming has made in your life. It has influenced your career decisions that keep you fed and under a roof today, and by the way you write, it also gave you loads of fun, so not everything is bad. There's nothing wrong (if anything the opposite) in acknowledging that games have served a purpose and they did their job well, you shouldn't think less of yourself or compare with other people. Your friends had their own experience with gaming, you had yours. Now, you've clearly identified your reasons to quit. If you want to leave games behind forever (I'm not saying it's the only option, but maybe it's the one you prefer), you have to think of it as a phase. Games had their place in your life and they did their part in what makes the you of today you. Thanks games. Now it's time to begin a new stage.

Welcome! Thanks for the visit If you've been without games for 90 days or more, you're more than welcome to write a case study and tell us about your experience (You can also write in the "Celebrate" sub-forum). The more the better! For anything else, you can open your own journal or post in the other sections, you know, the usual of a forum. Feel at home!

@WorkInProgress I gotta go right now but I'll come back and consider your opinion.