Mettermrck

I completely agree about the quality relationships. Having quit gaming, the most important thing in my life right now is forming and strengthening relationships.

I am a stuff policeman! I absolutely getting rid of stuff I don't need or use, so good on you, giblets!

I have a daily checklist but wasn't sure about Habatica. I like checking off tasks on my list. Did you find it hard to set up?

I just started reading Slight Edge. There's been so many recommendations on this website that I had to get it.

Thanks, onlysoul and Tom2, I love finding your encouraging posts on my journal. ? Day 36/90. And 41 for soda/porn (figured I'd give an update). I met with the priest yesterday morning. It was a nice meeting. I was honest about the things I'd done wrong in the marriage due to my addictions. He said he'd be glad to meet with my wife and I. I called her and we talked after work. She's still set on a divorce and adamant about it, but surprisingly open to meeting with the priest. At first, I thought, why bother if she's set in stone? But I thought about it and if she has left that door open, I have to go through it. Whatever happens, I don't want to have any regrets on what else I could've done in these last months. What was nice was that I went to the gym right after our talk. If I had any anxiety, I killed it on the treadmill haha! And I talked with friends and family that night and had a lot of support. I also slept great in my own bed. It's probably a combination of exercise, meditation, and meds that are helping. I'm probably also coming to terms with those boiling emotions that I had suppressed. Gratitude: 1. I did meet with the priest 2. I did call my wife and ask her to meet with him 3. I have encouraging friends and family

I used to tinker with Oblivion mods on the PC. I spent more time putting together the ideal mod setup than actually playing the game. Yeah I can see how falling back into playing Oblivion would be a sinkhole. For me, I focus on the positive changes that have happened since I quit, like reconnecting with friends and family. If I resumed gaming, I would lose that. Maybe you have a positive change to focus on?

Yes, cravings come and go if you let them. I do hope you are safe with the fasting. I know what it's like to have a lot of body fat and wanting it gone tomorrow. I have to be patient with the process. Just be careful, Jess.

That sounds like a wonderful weekend with your friend, spending quality time, eating together, helping around the house. You had an awesome experience there, Watermelon.

I call it "turbulence" when I dip back into old habits (eating, gaming) that make me anxious or fearful about going back to a bad place. If I experience this kind of turbulence, then I know it was right to move on from the habit.

That's a long term goal for me, I think, as I walk more and lose weight. I'd like to take up hiking and see some beautiful places.

I'm excited for you to break that 90 days, giblets! You're next target can involve finding your passion, set running goals, who knows?

I'm glad you're not experiencing the cravings and nostalgia, Tom2. Generally, they hit briefly and unexpectedly. If you don't indulge them and weather it, they go away.

Great, onlysoul! You had a lot of positive things happen. You are on a roll...

Welcome aboard, Jeff! Look forward to reading your journal

@albrechtjess, @Onlysoul, @Pierce, @Tom2, Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. Well, a podcast is likely at least 6 months away. I'm waiting to see if I could return to school next year first, which I'll know at the end of this year. That would take precedence over podcasting as finishing my degree is a long delayed dream of mine. But I can still do research in the meantime. Day 35/90. Yesterday wasn't bad. I worked out in the morning first thing with weights because I had a counselors appt after work. I'm enjoying the gym so much that I didn't want to miss a day on the machines hehe. That's a good sign. Car battery light came on and off on the way to my appt. I know it's my alternator. I'm hoping it'll survive until I get to my cousin's shop in a week and a half. I don't have the money for it now. But I'll ask for help if it dies early. The appt was good. As we discussed, I will be a whole different person next year and as anxious as I get sometimes, that is getting to be very exciting. The more weight I get, the more muscle I gain, the more I feel myself slowly transforming. And that helps cancel out the fear of no money, the fear of loneliness because I am slowly going to combat those things as the "new me". Today I have an appt with my priest to talk about my marriage. I'm feeling mixed about it. I know I have to do it so that I can say I did everything I could to save the marriage. Actually, what I dread is not the appt but if it goes well and I have to call my wife and ask for us both to meet with the priest. I dread her saying no and then the pain that comes from that rejection. But I have to go through that. I have to have real closure on this. Gratitude: 1. I slept 8 hours in my bed! Either the meditation or meds are helping. 2. I have a counselor who normally charges $50-$75 an hour and has charged me nothing for 3-4 yrs. 3. Old friends. I talked to one yesterday I hadn't spoken to in maybe 16 yrs. And it was like we talked just the other day.

Yes I can identify with this one. Being a God in those worlds was something I pursued too...I played Elder Scrolls too and I loved it when you steadily became powerful enough not to fear anyone. But I only craved that because I had lost control in my real life. The more I fell apart in reality, the more I craved greatness in a video game.

Wow I couldn't fast for 19 hours haha. I have to have a tiny bit of food every 2 hours so that I don't feel deprived. But I'm not as busy as you so I'm guessing it's not so bad for you.

It takes time. I second guess myself all the time even though I can see positive changes in my life. You said you are still making minor changes in your life, which is great. Do you have a long term vision for yourself? Or hobbies that bring out passion in you? If not, you can always experiment or do a project like Cam says, to see if you can find it. Glad you posted, Deep Space! It's good to see you again.

Sounds like you're off to a great start Hitaru. Yes I go everyday. 2x for weights and 5x for cardio. I started walking really really gradually. Literally 5 minutes the first week and then I increased it by 5. I never really had sore muscles, just sweat and normal tiredness hehe. When I did pushups, I did 1 a day haha and added 1 a week. Now I do 16. Slow and steady.

Wow 86 days...you're so close! That's something to take pride in. I think you're having gaming thoughts because you're approaching that milestone.

I hear ya. I get a twinge in my right foot from walking that makes me nervous but just gotta monitor it and rest when need be.

I'm sorry you got rejected. You should be proud of yourself for trying. Just don't give up. That's the right path.

I don't think I could manage vegan myself, but I don't mind eating less meat. Good on you, Super!

Wow this is an excellent journal format and entry. You truly accomplished a lot and I am impressed! Well done, Karisu.

Good to see you back, Shine! It sounds you've been having some great days overall with your friends.