NEW VIDEO: I Quit MMOs and THIS Happened
giblets
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Posts posted by giblets
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So I have been going boots and all into my study this week. The more I did research the more I felt overwhelmed, which triggered my 'fight/flight/freeze' response. Lately, over the last month or so, I have preferred the flight reaction which means that I have not progressed my study or personal development, which is why I am in this predicament.
I have traditionally been using the 'just sit with it' concept that I got from Cam, but it hasn't been working. Part of me wanted to get depressed that I might have regressed from the efforts of the last year, but another part said there was nothing to be depressed about. I am far more self confident and very rarely get anxious this year, so I have not gone backwards. I think it is more of a case of cycling through what works, trying something new, in case I plateau with one method or mindset. This was solidified with a surprise conversation/session with my work-provided leadership coach, which forced me to reflect on how I am feeling and how I want to move forward. It re-energised me which I have been using to push myself to study.
I had kept several Preston Smiles videos on my phone to keep me going, so I started looking around and what other clips or quotes I could use. I discovered Motivation2Study, which I have now started watching/listening to regularly, every 2-3 hours or when I feel my motivation or productivity beginning to falter. I am finding it very effective to get me going in the morning (which was a challenge post-ultra trail) and to keep me going in the longer sessions. One thing that really hit home was "if you are willing to sacrifice sleep, you will find success". That has spurred me to set a deadline for myself, that today, no matter how long or what it takes, I will complete a draft of my assignment. I will not allow me to leave it to the last minute like I did when I was mindlessly gaming. I want to get it done early so I can get it critiqued.
While it will cost me sleep in the short term, in the long term I will have more fulfilling and restful sleeps, as right now I am so stressed that I keep tossing and turning.
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This weekend is great reminder on how effective changing your environment is, no matter how small.
I have swapped the configuration of my desk and cleared all the clutter from it, so now it doesn't feel like such a chore to sit here and do work. I have also started to listen to some different music to help me study - I usually listen to chill out or classical instrumentals in between cognitive therapy tracks. This weekend though I have tried electronic music (something like this) and I think my productivity has doubled.
Spent a large amount of time tinkering with electronics and spending time with family yesterday as well so I think I achieved a nice balance. Hoping to repeat it today. I'm at around 3,000 words out of 5,000 after this week, so some more work that needs to be done before next weekend. It's going to be a long week, but bring it on!
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I too find reading books boring, but I have switched to audiobooks. Now I can't get enough of them, I always want to be listening to them. If you find a library that has access to Overdrive, then it's free as well. It surprisingly makes simple chores such as washing dishes or taking the rubbish out more enjoyable. You could also combine them with walking like @Philipp suggested.
I tend to have two books going at once depending on what I am doing (if I want to concentrate on it or not) - right now I am listening to the The Hobbit and The Bitter Road to Freedom.
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So I survived the ultra trail! It took me far longer than I would of liked, I was aiming for 18 hours and took 23 for several reasons, but what it boils down to is I underestimated how difficult it was going to be. I am not sure if I could have estimated it correctly - it was a mental and physical battle. While I was training a lot over the past year, what I did not do was train more on hills and steps and rocks, which is where I came undone. My endurance was fine, I did not feel exhausted until afterwards, but my body was not prepared for the challenging terrain (avoiding saying it held me back as I am not a victim, I am in control).
Now that it is over I feel so much more relaxed, the huge ball of anxiety is starting to go down. Now what remains is my assignment due for this semester by next weekend. I am still quite anxious about that, so much so that it is hard to motivate myself to even look at it because it is so daunting, but thanks to Jocko's meditation clips I am at least working away at it slowly. Chipping away at it, one step or word at a time. Now its a balance of trying to do as much as possible every day and not overdoing it and being frustrated about being a couch potato. I am looking forward to next week where all the sources of anxiety will have gone. I need to work on how to handle them better still, as I think right now I am just dealing with the symptoms rather than the cause, so there is some research to be done.
Back into it!
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Good to hear you're trying something new mate!
All I can say is when you give up caffeine/sugar, you'll probably have to try to get more sleep! I was so permanently wired from caffeine and sugar that when I started cutting it out of my diet I crashed pretty hard. You just need to prioritise with your schedule!
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Before I even pressed play I knew it had to be one of Jocko's clips. If you haven't read his book Extreme Ownership I recommend it.
Do note however that Jocko is also an advocate of knowing when you need to sleep in and get rest, of recognising the most effective thing you can do is to have a break and let your body recover. He talks about it in one of his podcasts, which I can't seem to find in my favourite list right now. But it takes self awareness and dis'icpline to recognise which one is the best choice.
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Interesting to note that one of the main researchers for polyphasic sleep is Piotr
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Such a great topic. I dabbled with this so much at university - for a combination of so I could stay up all night gaming or so I could leave my studies until the very last minute and still get everything done.
Since then in my last job I trialled to see if I could break one big sleep into two smaller ones. I know that there have been studies on this and trials and such, but my reasons were purely selfish, I knew I could accomplish more at night when there was no external (people calling, notifications, e-mails, knocks on the door) or internal (when you know you're voluntarily giving up sleep, I tend to be a lot more hyper focused as to make it worthwhile (no point giving up 3 hours of sleep just to chat on facebook for example)) distractions. I think a few TV shows have covered this in different ways - the one that immediately comes to mind is Seinfeld.
I have found there is a balance. I can go 3 days on about 5 hours of sleep, but then my productivity drops to a point where I would get more value out of sleeping and starting work again afterwards than I would from continuing to push on. A pseudo point of diminishing returns. If I want to maintain a high level of productivity for an extended period - like right now when I am trying to study and balance other commitments - I aim for 6 hours a night, going to bed as early as possible and getting up as early as possible (10pm-4pm is my usual routine). This is because you will tend to be more productive in the morning as you are refreshed and have a clear mind, as well as everyone else is still asleep so will leave you alone. I'd push to go earlier than 4am but I find that I fade too quickly in the afternoon and/or feel like I have done a full days work before I have even got to work, therefore impacting my productivity when I got there (and the diminishing return point). Plus, now when I think of getting up that early I think of Rives.
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You've got this
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Stress levels haven't gone down which is starting to impact a few different aspects of my life. On Friday I was so stressed out it felt like I was physically in pain, but I am sure it was all in my head. A contributing factor is how poorly I have been sleeping as a result, as soon as I don't get enough sleep my resilience or ability to be able to cope is severely reduced. I tried chamomile tea, one or two alcoholic drinks, meditation, cognitive therapy, it all doesn't seem to be working. I keep waking up with nightmares either about my studies, work or the upcoming run. I have begun trialling a herbal sleeping tablet, and at least for last night it worked. I don't care if it s a placebo or not, at least for today I felt relaxed and much more refreshed and able to focus. I am sure my family appreciated me being not so irritable as well, which seems to be a regular occurrence the last few weeks. The downside is I have not achieved as much today as I would have liked to, only an hour of reading, but I am definitely recharged and ready to take on the week.
I ensure I capped how many pomodoro's I spent studying yesterday, stopping at 6. Seemed like a good number, and I got them all done before 1pm so I still felt like I had the day to do other things rather than being chained at my desk again and getting cabin fever. Now to try and get 2-3 per day to keep that time free on the weekends.
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Mate, I learned so much from my relapse. I listed them all in my relapse post which I will try to find, but the main ones were I recognised my triggers - a level of self awareness I have since been able to apply to other aspects of my life. It looks like you are doing a similar process with your girlfriend, not allowing yourself to be triggered and making things worse.
The other big point I learned was that I was doing the right thing with the detox - it makes you realise how much you don't achieve by just sitting at your computer/screen for hours in the day. While you might be entertained, I found all the little things that I was on top of didn't get touched, for example clearing my inbox, doing dishes, etc. All those small details that I am sure would be falling to your family or others to do for you while you stay chained to the screen. Both of those were enough to kick me back into the detox again, and I never looked back.
Don't think those days were a waste or you have let yourself down. See it as a learning experience, what can you get from this situation and implement to make the next attempt even better?
Here is my relapse post. Not as interesting as I remember, as maybe I kept the majority in my head, or I picked up a lot of my lessons in reflecting rather at the time.
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On 5/7/2018 at 7:27 PM, karabas said:
I can relate to this too! When I was gaming or watching movies and my wife would come to talk to me or ask me for something, I'd get angry, because she was preventing me from my entertainment. I couldn't tell her that this was the reason, so I'd just be super impatient with her and lash out for no reason. I've been a better human being since I stopped gaming because it removed this aspect of my character.
I can relate to this too. You're spending more time in the moment rather than for distractions, and therefore you're looking for more things to enjoy. What will make this even better is if you search for things to be thankful for. For example, when I am standing in line at the post office instead of getting angry about standing in line and what a waste of time it is, I focus on being thankful for actually having the time to get to the post office as there are thousands of people who can't because of work or not having a post office at all.
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Thanks @16030669g and @Tux! Its not an exam, but an assignment due in three weeks that is worth 50% of my grade. I tend to get really stressed out when these deadlines are looming, which causes me to be so stressed I take no action at all. In the past it would have been to play games instead to escape, but now I will just find excuses to do nothing at all.
@16030669g I have been trying the library but every time I have gone there (when I say everytime... twice) there has been no room to study. I like getting away from my desk and getting out of the house and changing my environment as it reduces the distractions and makes me think "well, you have gone to this effort to go somewhere new, better make the most of it".
The best thing that came out of the weekend is this realisation that a) I need new stress coping strategies with my studies to stop letting it get to me, and b) I cannot just push through and do 8-12 hours of study a day. I like to think I used to be able to do it, but maybe that is looking in my past with faded memories and there were significant breaks in there.
I had a really good chat to my wife about it, which is another big step. I'm not one for talking about my weaknesses and vulnerabilities, but after listening a lot to Jocko Willink, I am starting to think it is a trait we need to have, as it is identifying where we need help and allowing those around us to step in and contribute. While I still don't have a way ahead for my stress coping strategy, I do have a new plan for my study. I know that I can only do 2-4 hours a day of study on the weekend before I start to go mad, so that forces me to look at the rest of the week to make up those hours rather than thinking "oh I'll just work more on the weekend". This will push me to be more productive during the week, bringing to the forefront that my time is finite and I need to make every second count (which most likely is why the majority of us are here on the website to begin with). With the pomodoro technique and some cognitive therapy music I am confident I can get this routine working for me, rather than coming home from work and feeling like I am too tired.
The other side of this as well is that by only doing 2-4 hours of study a day on the weekend, I can have it all finished by 10-11, letting me spend the afternoons with friends and family. I have been neglecting them quite a lot the last few months and it makes me feel quite bad, so I think this will solve this. I have talked to my wife about it as well, and she seems enthusiastic about the fact I will have dedicated afternoons with them, so will do what she can to help me in the mornings.
All great outcomes I think.
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You've established some very clear boundaries, which is most likely why you are more focused! Before when you would play games endlessly or watch netflix endlessly you didn't have a clear target or stop point, which was a lack of will or self-discpline. You're doing really well now!
My experience with the focus piece is quite similar - if I know I only have a 20 minute break during the day, then I work really hard until it comes around, then make sure I maximise the break time (no distractions etc) so I can recharge as much as possible.
You'll gain a lot of value out of tracking your time and where it goes - as @Cam Adair said to me once, "what gets measured, gets managed". Very powerful. I haven't found an effective time management tool that works for me though so unfortunately I don't have any recommendations.
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On 5/4/2018 at 5:11 PM, Mhyrion said:
(Yes, I can kick yo ass but still be too shy for simple human conversation
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How good does that bun look
I do recommend even though you don't want cheat days, that you incorporate some "me time" as a break from the 100% grind. This could be in the form of meditation, walking, gardening, reading a book, etc. Otherwise I think you'll find you will burn out and it will all become too hard very quickly. It can be for 30 minutes a day or a large session once a week, or if you are good at recognising your triggers only when you think you need it.
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On 4/29/2018 at 5:04 PM, Tux said:
Anxiety seems to put me in a state of avoidance, where I don't do work. However I still manage to do a few things study related.
This happens to me sometimes as well, so I am open to suggestions of how you overcome it. I was so overwhelmed by the amount of work, study and chores I had to do on the weekend that I chose to do none of it at all - it was like I was frozen into inaction. Then it becomes a spiral because there is 2 more days lost that could of worked towards those areas.
One solution I have been trying to do is break everything down into smaller and smaller tasks - at least then you can cross items off of a to do list or give yourself kudos for actually seeing progress.
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On 4/30/2018 at 9:18 AM, Cam Adair said:
Have you checked out any of Thomas Franks’ videos on YouTube? He’s like the Game Quitters of studying.
I find him very click-bait-y (how many times does he say starbucks and audible?), but I have downloaded a few of his podcast episodes so will see if they are any different.
So I again have come to the realisation that I need to take 'me time'. This happens every so often as I am not very good at recognising when I need a break. This week I have been so tired and I can't shake it, no matter how much I sleep or rest (and I am not running right now either due to my foot). Well last night I was watching a comedy video (one of those down the rabbit hole moments) and had a laugh and afterwards I felt a lot better. That's when I had the 'ah ha' moment. While I enjoy pushing the boundaries and stepping out of my comfort zone, I need to remember (or recognise) when I need to pause and have a break to recharge. My self awareness of knowing what it is better, but if I can recognise what the triggers are earlier then I won't spend two or three days in a daze like I have this week. Need to do some research on symptoms of being worn out and hang them next to my screen or something similar.
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Today is all about trying new ideas to study. Didn't get the mark that I would like on my last assessment (results were given on the weekend) so my pomodoro-TTS strategy must not be working as good as I have hoped. I am trying to read and listen at the same time now and alt-tab to write notes. Lets see if this is more effective.
Today is going to be a good day, I can feel it. Several people are returning off holidays/vacation today so some new/old faces in the office and I am feeling motivated with trying out new study techniques. Maybe I need to change them regularly (every 2-3 weeks) to keep myself interested? I wonder if there is any data on the effectiveness of this.
The library yesterday was advertising Studiosity.com - has anyone tried this?
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39 minutes ago, Bugg said:
Then had my first bath in 4 years! (I do shower tho, honest :p)
On the bright side, you've been saving water for 4 years!
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That's awesome, thanks for the heads up!
Nice default Unity install
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I'd like to recommend an app - Overdrive.
I got onto it through work, but have since dabbled in it quite a bit and signed up to a new library on the weekend to access more books.
It's essentially access to a library's collection of ebooks, journals and audiobooks for free (well my 2 libraries are free!)
It's a great alternative to Audible to save a few bucks. I have been comparing the selection of Audible to Overdrive in the last week and I have been suitably impressed.
The biggest difference is how you obtain books. I have tested this primarily with audiobooks, but with Overdrive, after you login with your library it will tell you how many copies of each title are available (1, 4, etc) and how many are borrowed. If for example one title is completely out, you can place a hold on it, so then you automatically borrow it when another member has returned their copy. I see this as similar to eBay's max bid option - where you can set a price and forget about it.
The app will also tell you where you are in the queue, for example if 3 people have a hold on the book before you, and how long until you can expect to be able to borrow the book. For example, if your library's default loan time is 1 week, and there is 3 people in the queue before you, then you can expect to have the book in 3 weeks. This allows you to plan out your reading schedule.
Of course the advantage Audible has over Overdrive is you can have any title you want when you want it - but I guess money talks. I have been using the hold system to map out what to read and give myself deadlines for it - and as a result have read a lot more books this year than I anticipated (I have read 5 books so far in a little over a week and have 5 more on the horizon).
I am not really sure how Libby works, if that is just a search function for libraries within your area or not, but I will investigate when I am through some of my study.
Check it out, you have nothing to lose!
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Stocked up on my new tea of chice - Camomile - in order to avoid caffeine this week. I have a bit more time to find an alternate gel to run with as well, as I have a stress injury in my foot from running so much so the physio has banned me from running or long walks for a week - the pool only. It's too cold for the pool! Not really sure how I am going to find my exercise outlet for the moment, or I just need to suck it up and get in the pool. As Jocko would say - just get on with it. Use some discipline.
Today I am kicking it in the local library to try and kick start my studying away from distractions. I thought this place would be like a ghost town - boy am I wrong. So many people here that I couldn't get a desk in the quiet area so I am at like a coffee type spot instead (well, what I vision would be a good spot for a coffee and a novel in the sun). See how I go after this.
Made my first entry in my 'pocket' journal on Friday after a very interesting interaction with my boss. I initially got really angry and gave up discussing/debating with him rather than allowing my emotions to dictate how I reacted (and not responded). He then came and saw me a few minutes later and we had a really long talk and got a lot of things out in the open. He saw me stopping conversations and not debating with him that I was avoiding confrontations and lack self confidence. I laid it all out on the table and said that I stop conversations with him not because I avoid it but that I don't see the point and all it does is get me reacting poorly because I get annoyed or frustrated. It will be interesting to see what comes of that conversation now that we know how each one operates a little better - but one thing is certain I felt very accomplished; I don't think I could have had a conversation like that before my path of self development which was spurred by this website. Cam making an impression yet again.
Onto readings! Journal articles here I come.
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Giblet's Journal
in Daily Journals
Posted
So the assignment is done! The anxiety/stress of trying to complete something worth 50% of my grade when I felt I was behind the eight ball due to procrastination and work has subsided, and been replaced with anxiety about what the mark/result will be. The difference is though I can't influence this one so I need to let it go and move on. I have a few other bits of study to do to round out the semester but that is essentially done for a few months now. I am excited and hesitant at the same time; excited because I get to attack some of the jobs/chores I have wanted to deal with for a few months but kept putting it off so I could prioritise my study, but hesitant as the breaks between semesters generally result in frustration of not achieving anything. I will overcome that with some clear goals and targets to work towards, I think I am going to do it via pen and paper now as well rather than on my phone or computer, which I either tend to lose or not track as closely as I should. I seem to be far more productive when I was writing down my to do list every day.
I was surprised/reminded yesterday with how much people waste time. A few of my mates were wasting time just staring at random YouTube videos about non-productive topics. It is no wonder they can't achieve what they want to, and I am using it as a great reminder to refocus on my prioritisation. These 3 and 5 minutes here and there throughout the day can be all lumped together and to achieve another task at the end of the day or even get some more sleep. I keep this in mind when I want to have a gaming session - there are so many more things that need to be done that should not be a lower priority, whether it is something small like paying a bill or sweeping the floor, or something bigger like running or reports for work.
Hope everyone is doing well! I haven't been on here very much lately so I will ramp this back up over the next few weeks.