giblets

Day 9 So facebook is gone, or at least from my phone. Looking forward to one less reason to look at my phone. Have been spending a lot of time today thinking about how I seem to try and do so many different things at an ok level, rather than only choosing one or two things and doing them at a great level. It has been a trait through my whole life, maybe it's a bit of ADHD, maybe it's a bit of being too scared to commit to something too deeply, maybe it's a part of thinking I am invulnerable and can do everything. Well I really don't feel invulnerable after my 2019-2020, and as a result I seem to not have an area of expertise or hobby/task that I am really good at. Food for thought. Today went well, I feel more productive than yesterday, and I am hoping to up the ante tomorrow and become even more productive. I don't like going into full 100% productivity mode because it feels like I wear out and become the closest to playing games or wasting time, but at the moment I feel like I don't have any other option with the amount I need to achieve in shorter and shorter timelines. Bit of a quiet post today, I think I left my journalling far too late so I feel very tired and lack motivation as a result. I will try to aim for an earlier post tomorrow.

No sites specifically. If anything, it would be the genre of "news" or "information" by searching for or reading things I don't need to just to pass the time. I am going to go back to getting my news via podcasts to keep me from looking at screens. I have looked into those parental controls in the past but being a concern about privacy I don't feel comfortable installing something that would track me online. I have tried to take a step towards not being so nervous about this with RescueTime, but I haven't been impressed with the data so far. Day 8 So I missed a few days since I went out camping, but I still really liked my progress, as there was no phone coverage where I was staying. It was great to really spend more time with my family, and I took a "mental health" day by going fishing for half a day as well. It was amazing, I have come back feeling refreshed. I have also changed a few things which I think has improved my productivity. I have swapped out using my phone late at night and early in the morning to wake up/wind down with my kindle. I have been reading Born to Run which is not something that I usually read (instead I focus on personal development and research essays) but it has been great to fall asleep to and to get my mind kicking first thing in the morning rather than mindlessly scroll. I have been combining it with drinking electrolytes just before bed and as soon as I get up, and I definitely feel a lot less sluggish, though I wonder what it does for my teeth. I had a dentist appointment last year where they pointed out the amount of acidic sports drinks I had been drinking was wearing away the enamel on my teeth. This is a different brand and isn't gels, which has that going for it, but I am sure there would still be somewhat of a similar impact. I am starting to feel the "productive side" waking up in me much like when I gave up games so long ago. I enjoyed tracking my hours and keeping myself productive back then but it did drop off because it was a bit of work to maintain on a daily basis. I have tried RescueTime but it isn't as seamless as i thought so I don't think it is really helping much at all. One thing I have come to the realisation over the last few weeks is I need to start accepting a "good" solution rather than the "perfect" solution in order to use that extra time for other things. I picked this up from the The Producitivity Show, where they talk about paying for gardeners etc as a solution to free up time for something you value more. For me, I always like to tweak the software on my phone and my computer to make it perfect, but I would spend way too many hours tweaking it and then keeping it tweaked. Now I am going to accept a state where I can do what I need to and spend my time on other projects or my family. Hope everyone else is having a cracker weekend!

Avoid twitch, YouTube and news sites about gaming. It's stopping you from rewiring your brain onto new things, as it still keeps you thinking about them and how much fun they were to play rather than focusing on what you can do now. From what you are describing I would say you also have anxiety. Whenever you overanalyse or overthink about something or what somebody has said or is thinking, the chances are it is all in your head and you're creating a storm in a teacup. When you feel yourself going down these paths, try to change your environment or do something else to take your mind off of it. For example, when I get anxious about something someone has said to me or something that I let slip in a conversation, I force myself to have a new conversation with them to see if they had either given it a second thought or if there really are any of these bad feelings that I am imagining. Chances are they are not. I recommend a good habit to start everyday is exercise. Start by just walking, to get some fresh air and get those legs moving. Once you have established a routine, then you can start introducing something more challenging, such as jogging or going to the gym or even trying to meet new people so that you're not lonely through fitness classes or social fitness clubs. I am not the fittest person in the world but I enjoy the social running clubs or social bike clubs. Let the competitive people go to the front while you chill out at the back having a laugh.

Try CloneZilla. I set it up as a live OS on a USB, reboot your PC into it and then follow the prompts. It is free as well. Day 4 The longest journalling streak for probably six months! Baby steps. The detox is a lot harder than I anticipated, I somehow remember giving up gaming to be easy (the second time around). Not really sure why it is so much more challenging, I am sure it is because there are less barriers to wasting time than there was of having to sit down in front of a computer. I forgot how much my brain tries to 'justify' why I should be able to waste time or use my devices. "You've been working hard" ... "It's quiet and you don't get much time to yourself" ... "Being relaxed will make you more focused". It's all bullshit. The only thing it does is stress me out because I am losing time that I need to spend doing chores, running, or studying. Bill Nye just said it one a podcast I just listened to, "time only moves in one direction". So I need to think how I can up the ante. Maybe I need to have two separate phones. Maybe I need some kind of punishment for myself. Maybe I need some new type of mantra to keep me focused. I do need to look into buying some Theanine (I think it was called). Maybe a new hobby?

I feel you mate. Having a family was the final nudge I needed to give them up once and for all. I remember the exact moment. I was playing WoW, doing some random quest and had to kill X amount of mobs. Then my son started crying, so I flew up in the air and went to comfort him. By the time I got back to the PC and sat down, I just stared at the screen. I asked myself what am I doing. Why am I just doing the minimal amount to comfort him so I can get back to gaming. Instead I should have laid with him longer, been present with him, provide him everything he needs as a child to grow and develop in his own way. I deleted everything off my computer that instant. Since then it has been a bumpy ride. I few re-installs and a couple of devices later, I finally kicked the habit. I am now trying to take it further and kick mindless screen staring in front of him as well, so a similar process (though I find this one much harder). What I can say to you is you will not regret your decision. I enjoy the really solid relationship with my son and his teachers comment about how confident and articulate he is compared to other kids, because it is evident we spend so much time talking to him and setting the environment to do what he wants and pave his own path. Then I see other parents using screens as the 'digital babysitter' and having little interaction with them or building their imagination outside of over the dinner table (assuming there is no screens). You've got this, and we're here to help.

Giving ultimatums is a dangerous space to work within. Ultimatums can be seen as a "lose-lose" situation. Either he chooses to continue to play video games and MandyPandy loses, or he chooses MandyPandy and he feels like he lost because he had to give up something he valued to keep her happy, therefore building resentment. The way I understand interventions work is to focus on building their awareness of how much their behaviour is impacting other people and therefore how it is wrong, rather than telling them to stop. By planting the seed of wanting to change and getting their buy-in in the plan, it is far more likely to take hold than being directed to change.

Day 3 This detox is going to be a lot harder than I thought! Ok, at least I am on the path and aware that I need to change, but the actual effort to make it change will require more effort than what it felt like to give up games. The difference is I just changed my environment when I got the cravings, but that is not possible with your phone. No matter how great I'll fight some urges when I am paying attention to it, subconsciously I will reach for the phone and waste time, then realise what I am doing and stop. Rinse repeat. Maybe with a different job I could leave my phones behind, but while I need to stay contactable the itch is going to be there as I can feel it in my pocket. I have had great results from leaving them in a central place in the office/house, and then only coming back to it if I get a call or message. I am going to try to use my smartwatch again to read/dismiss notifications, so then I shouldn't need to look at it very much. RescueTime indicates I had 6.5 hours of screen time today, including working on my laptop. That's not too bad, though most of it was spent on e-mail. I will never forget a quote I heard on a podcast - "your inbox is a to-do list that anyone can write on". I used to only have my inbox open in the mornings so then I could conduct deep work in the afternoon, I think I might have to try doing that again and see if I can see/feel a difference. Back running today after hurting my ankle. It is still not full recovered, so not confident I can get another marathon in this weekend, but I will at least try to get a half marathon. I hate that my distances are down, but I am juggling so many concurrent activities right now that it is a necessary sacrifice. It is also forcing me to train better in the time that I have rather than phoning it in, which is timely as there is a race coming up that I would really like to do well in, so it is forcing me to pay close attention to my pace. Don't forget to back up your computers!

Can't say I have ever had that thought! 🤣

Have you considered gamifying your progress towards your hobbies such as music/programming/biking? In the long term I don't recommend gamification but it might help you overcome the barrier of thinking its "boring" because of a lack of dopamine/feedback loop. For example, I took up Pokemon Go to get myself running and walking more instead of being so sedintary. It worked in the short term, I looked forward to running to different gyms and seeing if I could get there in time for raids and the such. After a while though, it become more and more about the running and I found Pokemon Go was getting in the way, so I uninstalled it. By that time, the new habit had stuck.

I signed up for the 14 day free trial, and set a reminder in my calendar to cancel it in 12 days if I don't like it or don't get much out of it. Looks good so far, I have had 3 hrs of screen time today and only 22m of that was not productive. Good start for the weekend!

Mate I know that feel. Those clickers made me feel like a sucker, "oh I'll just have it running in the background while I do something productive". NOPE. I end up not paying attention at all to what I was supposed to be productive on and my "5 minutes" timer would always just get ignored. Going cold turkey is definitely the way, especially if you are resilient from doing it before with smoking. TimeRescue looks amazing, definitely an app I have been looking for. I wonder if there is a free/open source alternative though?

All the old regulars seem to have disappeared! I have watched their journalling slowly drop off over the years but you're still going strong, congrats. Studying takes some practice, when I went back to studying after I think was a 5 year hiatus, I found it really hard to sit still and just read journals. I used Cam Adair's philosophy of "just sit with it." I would refuse to let myself do anything else until I did my study. Quitting social media will help you in that aspect. I also find a lot of value from the pomodoro technique, as it lets my brain have a prize after forcing it to stay focused and learn. I have now migrated that method across to work now after reading about "deep work", and achieve far more in my day than I did before. Day 2 So today's detox not going so well, while sitting in the car waiting for some food with my kids in the back seat, I found myself mindlessly scrolling some information that was not important. My brain just thinks "oh I've got a few spare minutes, I'll research that now", where really it is not urgent. Because I tend to be very forgetful these days (which I feel is a result of having such a stressful life for the last 5 or so years), I am in the habit of when I remember to do something I want to act on it right away (someone else highlighted to me that it might be the Buffet 5 minute rule). What I should try instead is carrying around a notebook to write down my tasks to get onto later. I am going to look into a to do list app on my computer to try to help with that as well. I did hear on a podcast a while back that this tendency to always have information at our fingertips has reduced our desire to try and remember things (how many times have we heard "Oh I'll just Google it later"), which may contribute to my poor memory. So aim for tomorrow is to start carrying around a notebook again. I decided to stop drinking alcohol as well. I don't drink very often, maybe once every two weeks, mainly because I hate how tired it makes me which reduces my productivity. But now, I don't like how sluggish it makes me the following morning, even if I have only had 2-3 drinks. I really like to exercise in the morning as I find that is the only time of the day that I can consistently do it, so anything that makes me sluggish in the morning really impacts that. I've combined it with trying to drink 6 litres of water every day, achieving it yesterday. Let's see if I can get a streak of that happening as well as with this journal.

If you're trying to go porn free, have you heard of the PornFree podcast? The host has been pornfree for several years now and looks into why we find it addictive and how to overcome the urges (and/or distract yourself). It is very valuable! I enjoy listening to hearing why we can get addicted and apply that to my issues with digital media, so it's not just for porn addicts.

Day 1 Guess who is back, back again. I've been lurking on the forums for the better portion of the last two years, commenting now and again when I thought I had value to add to other people's process, but it's time to make another journal. My previous journal was such a success to give up games, and really gave my personal development a huge boost. Now though, I want to go for a significant digital detox (DD) on myself (127.0.0.1). I am becoming very self conscious about the amount of time I spend on my phone around my kids, and I don't want to set that example for them. I was going to buy a LightPhone or a feature phone to swap to instead of a smartphone to help limit my usage, but neither of them are an option. So, I need to be held accountable. So here we are. It's a bit ironic that I am doing a digital detox journal on my computer, but I find it much quicker to type, and by making smaller shorter entries when I feel urges to mindlessly surf the web or excessively check the news or send people random texts, then I will post here instead. Listening to Penn Julliette's podcast (Penn's Sunday School), he mentioned he has journalled every single day with about 4-5 missed days for over 10 years. I always feel sharper and more relaxed (read: less anxiety) when I journal, but it continues to fail to be part of my daily routine. I think it has been about 70 days since I have journalled properly. I figured this should help keep me accountable, and help me stay grounded by reading how everyone else is going. I have ordered a new phone as my current one is starting to show issues (it is 3 years old - I was going for 5 years), but when it arrives the first app I want to install is one of those screen monitoring apps to give me alerts or restrictions from spending too much time on it. The other thing as mentioned briefly above is I want to text people less. I suffer huge anxiety spells when people don't respond to my texts. I can't control what they do when they get my texts or how they respond to it, but I can control how many texts I send out, to make them more powerful or worth while, or force myself to call people to discuss things instead, that way I can't misinterpret tone or language. So here we go!

Hi mate from across the ditch! Glad to see you are still pushing through with your quest. You haven't updated whether you ditched discord or not, what was the final verdict? I can 100% recommend you walk away from Discord, twitch, YouTube Gaming, or whatever else that you track gaming information on. It will trigger you, even subconsciously, and will especially warp your thoughts if you look at it straight away when you wake up in the morning, setting the tempo for the whole day. It will just make this process harder!

It's important to understand the difference between nostalgia and desire to play games. I played a lot of emulation for that reason - anything newer than 16bit I really wasn't interested in. Give me Tetris and Super Mario all day (like, literally all day...). It wasn't that I wanted to play them, it was I used to enjoy them so much when I was a kid, and I thought I was way happier when I was a kid. Adult life is full of responsibilities, pressures, anxiety, and loneliness. It is not as simple. Maybe a step in the right direction is when you feel nostalgic, rather than firing up a game or buying something off steam, you watch a video on the making of it or a documentary? For example, when I want to play emulators I used to watch A Fistful of Quarters or The Ecstasy of Order instead. Yes it still wasted a few hours, but it was the lesser of two evils in my mind - waste two hours, or waste a whole day? Walk away feeling great about the 80s, or be preoccupied for a whole day?

Great to see another Aussie on the forums! You must be driven and determined to get into Med school, so using that resilience to get you out of this hole is going to be a breeze.

That's another trait we gamers can pick up; perfectionism! It's all those hours spent min/maxing, especially from WoW where you are judged from the get go if you're not min/maxed. It's almost like peer pressure or socially acceptable; you're not allowed in certain groups if you're not perfect or you are judged as being "carried". I've done a lot of therapy on this subject, and you need to get rid of the "should' mentality. I should be better, I should be perfect, I should not fail. All this thinking does is put extra pressure on yourself, which makes artificial stress, and you feel overwhelmed and want to give up or reach for an escape. Rather, acknowledge where you are. You have given up games, you have started something new and productive, you have made progress in it. There was a great quote I saw on these forums many years ago that still resonates with me when I have those should moments - "The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."

If you only focused on the symptoms (gaming) without dealing with why you want to game all the time, then naturally you are going to be inclined to replace the space with another activity of similar nature. This is why Cam talks a lot about avoiding mindlessly scrolling etc. Use the 90 days to focus on why you feel like you need to game/procrastinate. Are you avoiding something? Are you escaping from something? Even if you are on the other side of the detox, I still recommend doing it. The cravings for me never went away and I thought I was "broken". I found when I cut gaming out I still was not productive, so I thought well stuff it, if I am not going to be productive either way then I will not be productive while having fun. But it required a mindset shift. Every time I was getting cravings (or still get cravings), I sit with my emotions and reflect on why I am feeling like that. The majority of the time for me it comes down to two things - 1) I am feeling overwhelmed with life so want to escape from it all, or 2) I feel like I am not achieving enough in life so wanted some instant gratification/achievements. By knowing what the underlying causes were and dealing with those, rather than the symptoms (gaming), I felt my life really took off on another level. Now when I feel overwhelmed I sit down with my to do list and try to break everything down into the smallest possible task to make myself feel like I am making progress. When I feel like I am not achieving enough, I reflect on the good things that I am proud of in the last few weeks/months. The cravings disappear quickly. Quitting games is not the end of personal development, it is the beginning! In 5 years time, you will not recognise yourself if you stay on this path!

The worst time to do this is tomorrow. The best time to do this is today.

What does everyone's morning routines look like? I listened to a recent podcast with Penn Juliette (from Penn & Teller fame) where he talks about extensive journalling and reflecting every day. The part that stood out to me the most was that he allocates time every morning to go back through his old journals - 1 week, 1 year and 10 years in the past - and reflects on how much he has grown, the issues he is still battling with and general grounding on himself before tackling the day. I forsee the biggest challenge for me doing this is finding the time to jam it in - especially in the mornings. I am really sluggish in the mornings and generally lose about 30-45 minutes after I wake up to get my body going. That time is usually spent arguing with myself over how much I want to go back to bed or trying to get my body going (mainly ready for a 10km+ run). This time would be the ideal time to claw back and use for this journalling/reflection. So, what do you do to get going quickly in the morning? I don't do caffeine anymore, but I drink a litre of water as soon as I wake up, and start moving around to get the blood flowing. I won't be able to read the responses for a few weeks but I am looking forward to the discussion.

Yes - perfectly normal. Addiction is the inability for someone to self-regulate regardless of the outcomes/impacts/punishment. I am not so much a console gamer but a huge PC gamer. After spending so many years I have tried so many tricks to get games working or bypass rules etc. As I told @stablish once, "Give me enough time, I'll try to play games on a toaster." I got around it by downgrading. I packed up my PC, gave away my graphics card, and bought a $190 laptop and put linux on it. Now if I really want to play games there is extra steps between me and doing that - which usually ends up with me giving up or getting distracted by something else. You're not crazy mate, just feeling the symptoms of addiction. You will have a completely different perspective after 90 days.

I feel you mate. This is a tough nut to crack - and why people then fall back into gaming as the easy option. I too go through some days where I wonder where am I going with my life because there feels like there is no enjoyment. From my experience, all I can say is you need to be more present in the moment. When I stop looking for something more, something to entertain me, and just take each moment or each environment for what it is, I feel a lot better. It's an easy thing to say but hard to really subscribe to, so will take some practice. A really good example of where it works for me quite well, is when you're in a queue. I always see people on their phones as the people who are getting agitated for having to wait so long. But standing there, without a phone, just taking in the moment and their environment, are the people who are calm with waiting. Rather than "trying to find something", you need to reframe what you are doing now. Yes of course have a hobby or two, but the thought of always having to find something enjoyable for you to recreate means that you will never be fulfilled with what you have.

That's a good pace bro. You would achieve the dream of a marathon in less than 4 hours with that pace. Wrong mindset hombre, you didn't make time for your Spanish Lesson. A person who says they are too busy is a person with unclear priorities.

When you get to the 20 day range, things become a lot easier because your new routine will have taken root. That's when you start getting a whole lot more clarity and begin making plans for post the detox. Be careful of having too much spare time - that's an opportunity for your brain to tell you that it's ok to game and you have nothing to lose - just like @EpicJ0J0 said. Until then, keep changing your environment!