Zarvic

Just about 20 days since I last played any games.. well games I didn't create while learning C++. I have been getting my studying done, I have finally had a few days in a row of actually meeting my goals of pages read. My journey learning C++ has been.. interesting.. Now I may be doing something hypocritical, or at the very least dangerous but I found it very hard learning C++, particularly as the subject got deeper than writing a few cout and cin lines to make a simple program. I have found that learning while making games keeps me engaged, and much more willing and enthusiastic about learning some of the more difficult concepts. So far I have made a guess the code type game, where you have to guess a three integer code, and you get two hints, the sum and the product of the three integers. The game progressively gets harder as you guess the code correctly. Not sure how others would view this pursuit of mine, but I do not feel it is a dangerous slope, my interest is in learning to code, not play games. For the past 20 days I have not had as much of a struggle not playing as I imagined I would. Sure I had a real hankering for Doom after watching some videos, but after watching some lore videos that hankering went away as I was mostly interested in the story. I also have had a real hankering for playing an arpg recently, like Diablo 3 or Path of Exile, not sure why or how it came about, but I expect it will pass as the Doom kick had. Anyways all is good thus far, looking forward to the 1 month no games day. I feel as though not as much has changed as I initially expected, I still waste time on Youtube, have not gotten as far in my classes, and my financial situation has gotten worse. Perhaps my hankering for an arpg is due to my desire to escape my reality to the virtual world. Youtube doesn't fill that need and I have been feeling quite a lot more stress.

I wouldn't doubt it lol, watched a couple lore videos this morning before studying and got what I wanted and moved on. Anyways I am trying to figure out a good programming language to learn, I was chugging along with Python, but I will be learning it again for one of my courses, which is great as I will be able to blow through that course quickly, but I have been doing some research on some more, I guess relevant languages, while python is #1 for most it seems that learning a language like C++ as a first language can go a long way in establishing solid understanding and methods for learning other languages. The end goal would be to learn some C and some C# as well as a plethora of other languages, form what I have read is C++ is easy enough to learn, but still challenging and bare bones enough to teach important lessons not taught by other languages. Anyways lots of things to consider and weigh before I dedicate myself to learning it, still got lots of class work I am slacking off on and maybe this whole learning to program is just a nice diversion for me. Still trying to find that fun rewarding thing to replace gaming, nothing really replaces that reward system, maybe truly learning to create something would.

Another journal entry: not sure what day it is since I have quit, but I have not been having any urges really, I mean some here and there, earlier today I was wanting to try DOOM, never really played it before but for some reason I came across a youtube video of it and have been wanting to give it a try sense. Today was my sons 1st birthday! I really enjoyed it, we celebrated with my parents and my in-laws which was a lot of fun. I have been under a lot of stress recently, all due to my work/ financial situation. I have been applying for jobs in IT, it is hard to find anything paying a livable wage, that doesn't require years of experience. I have two fairly low level certificates, a Google It Support Professional, and ITIL 4 Foundations, and I aim to be getting the Comptia A+ by the end of next month so maybe that will help land me a job. I think other than the stress, frustration, and sprinkle of depression due to my financial state I am doing pretty good. Just about all my current issues could be solved by getting a new job, but then I am in fear of what new problems would arise at that point. I also have this desire to always change direction, I am currently pursuing a degree in cybersecurity, but I want to develop some programming skills and pursue work in programming, almost like it would be a faster solution to my current issue. Perhaps it is more fear of working a help desk role for entry level IT, programming seems like a less painful, but more rewarding junior position. I don't know, my brain feels jumbled and maybe I need to write a private journal to get things figured out.

Was a long weekend, Friday I flew out of state to help my father-in-law move, we drove over 14 hours and had to unload two uhaul trucks at a storage so I have not had time to write. This is my first chance I have had to sit down since Thursday night and I am exhausted. A part of me wants to play some games for a few hours as a reward for all the hard work of this weekend, but I know I just need to find something enjoyable to do for a few hours as a reward/ wind down activity.

Day #4 Not too much has happened, mostly working on setting up some good habits and replacing some bad ones. I am really wanting to get a better job, I think the biggest driver to wanting to escape is that I am very far from my career goals so I believe getting a job that is in the field I want to be in would remove some of the desire to escape into games. Yesterday after work as I was driving home I had a slight desire to game, felt I deserved a reward for going to work, pretty silly thought process as I had not yet achieved anything that deserved a reward so that is a thought process I need to change. However it did highlight a concern for me going forward and that is, what can I do to reward myself, I need something that felt as enjoyable as gaming, is as accessibly as gaming was, and that I can do independently. Maybe i am working out how I can later justify gaming again when I have serious urges. Anyways, Monday and yesterday I did not get the amount of class work I needed done so today and tomorrow will be more catching up on that than anything. Woke up feeling a little down so going to turn that around before heading into work, got a lot of sporadic thinking going on today so need to get that sorted out as well.

Welcome! Glad to see you made the decision as well!

Day #3, still no urges to play, but yesterday I did spend the day at my parents with family so didn't have a chance to even think about gaming. Going to be a busy week as Friday I will be flying out to help my fiance's father move out of state. I have lots of work to do so losing the weekend doesn't put me behind on my studying or anything. I have a few goals for the near future I aim to complete before Christmas, first of which is to quit eating ice cream, and to start working out every day. I have been eating a cup of ice cream each day for about two years now almost religiously and have only recently begun to see the effects. Just another addiction i might as well kick. I also want to find a new job, more in line with my chosen career I am studying for. The hard part is covid-19 has created an employer market with the number of unemployed looking to work again, companies are re-hiring staff they laid off at lower wages and more responsibilities. This all may just be an excuse I am actively working to find and maintain that belief, but it is sometimes disheartening to go through job ads and see what they are offering versus what they demand. Anyways, cheers to another day off gaming!

Hey, just read through your journal here, can you narrow down what sites you spend most of your time on? Maybe you could use parental controls to limit what you have access to? Maybe you could also turn off you phones data and internet, this will create enough of a barrier that when you go to turn it on again you can catch yourself and think "is it really necessary that I turn on my data right now?" Also, we put too much reliance on email I believe, schedule yourself a very limited time to check your email each day, if something is so important people should be calling or texting you, email is more of a "when you have a chance," and to ensure people understand this put in your signature line what days and times you check your email. Even have an auto reply saying "Thank you for emailing me, if this is urgent please call as I will not be checking my email until x." Just a couple suggestions, I know some places use internet to make their calls and texts but not where I am from so turning internet and data off on my device is plausible.

Thanks for the suggestion, I had initially planned on just doing some paper trading as a proof of concept, and would cross the bridge of the limitations when i got to the point of wanting to throw in some real money. I had not even considered all aspects of it, nor had I considered cryptocurrency but I will certainly consider it a more logical start point to focus on!

Day #2 here, yesterday was good, less productive than I had hoped, today is labor day and I will be going to my parents with my fiance and son. I have some class work to catch up on, last night I bought a Udemy course on python programming, I have dabbled with it before while learning penetration testing and IT automation, but I never took the time to actually learn it. I want to make some simple programs, maybe a couple algo trading bots to play with and maybe lose some money on the stock market. Hope to get some class work done over at my parents today, got my week planned out on the calendar as well. Got lots of work to do today, so gunna close here, goodluck anyone that is reading this!

Thanks for sharing your story, it definitely resonates, unfortunately I have done it multiple times of just doing the minimum to get him calm and happy to run back. Perhaps once I kick the gaming I too will kick the screen time, when i play with him we usually play upstairs where there are no screens, I just need to leave my phone downstairs during play time otherwise I tend to gravitate to looking up random crap. Downstairs we usually put on music for him, his favorite song is Money For Nothing by Dire Straits, he particularly loves the long intro when the drums peak and that guitar starts. I often see parents bringing there kids in to their appointments with them at my current work, and they always have got a screen in their hands not paying attention to the world around them. It is sad, and makes me worried about the generation currently being raised with a strong dependence on screens. I do not plan on using devices to distract or preoccupy my son, I plan to teach him how to utilize devices to create things through programming though, if he shows an interest that is. Would be great if he takes it up and doesn't need an allowance!

It is very difficult to be in the position you are in. I am sure you have, but if not, have you had an honest hear to heart with him about your fears and your feelings? Not a yelling match or a blaming match, but just being completely honest about your concerns, this isn't to blame or shame him but to make him realize the way he is leaving you feeling the way you do? Addiction is really difficult for all those involved, particularly when it becomes destructive and violent as it appear to have. Often times things just escalate to more destruction and violence, unfortunately it pours over and becomes abuse. I experienced this, just wrote a lot about it but deleted it as it is long and I would not want to worry you about it but I just had a bad experience growing up with an alcoholic step father. I too am with my high school sweetheart, we now have a one year old baby boy and I have come to realize the damage, and potential damage video games have cause, and will cause in the future if I do not get them under control. My girlfriend has expressed her concerns before and I swore to change, sadly I did not change enough, she may be happier with what little I did but I since decided I needed to completely quit to save our future. The only suggestion I can give is to have a very honest, and real heart to heart, the goal is not to make him feel bad, but to make him aware of the pain he is causing you. Perhaps you can turn him on to this website, and lead him to make the plunge. The hardest thing is getting an addict realize they want to quit, because they will not quit unless they want to. I have an alcoholic family, all are sober now (step father is now gone thankfully but I imagine he is drinking away.) There has been enough pain caused by addiction to go around. I know your hurt I can only say that things will get better, even when they feel like they are considerably worse, they will be better, you just have to be supportive and try to give him the right nudge like many of us have needed to get on the path.

Hello, just posted my introduction and motivation a minute ago. So to start this is not the first time I decided to "quit" gaming, it is I believe my third, but it is by far the most real. Last night after wasting a few hours playing after having spent the day with family, I got this very desperate feeling of time I have been wasting playing games, and the wasted opportunity to have leveled up my real life skills. I should be in a better position, financially and professionally. On a somewhat sporadic hunch I decided to delete all the video games off my computer, (all that free space for new hobbies maybe?) and I hopped online to look up this game quitters program I came across during a previous attempt at quitting. Remembering what i had read online this time I decided to put some money on the table and go for it, truly go for it. So here I am, day #1 of no video games. I aim to read some more of the Respawn material today and get caught up on my class work for the week. I also wan to look into a few replacement hobbies I can look into trying out. Most importantly I want to set myself up for success when I get that inevitable urge or craving to re-download some game and play for a short hour or two in the future.

Hello all, my name is Chris and as far as I can tell I am a video game addict. I have played video games since I was a child, and it has always been my main hobby, crutch, escape, you name it. I never got very competitive at playing, though I did always enjoy the micro improvements of leveling up, getting a new piece of gear, unlocking a new gun or attachment etc. I believe my addiction really set in throughout 2018, I was 22 living at home and had decided I would be moving to a new state with family in January of 2019. My girlfriend was also living with me at home with my mom and my brother at the time. I had decided I was going to quit my job as a machinist (hated the job because I did not enjoy the work, boss was great and tried to teach me but I let the opportunity slip) and start an online drop shipping business (youtube entrepreneurs caught me at a vulnerable time and I drank the kool-aid.) After having a couple different ideas an business models fail (because I would spend 8 hours playing games and 2 hours looking at my lazy website and work) I decided I would try to justify playing Old School Runescape like a full time job to eventually make enough gold to sell online and have some income. Stupid I know but it was how i justified me playing video games all day to my girlfriend and family, never made a dime and just played to enjoy it. This is where I believe the addiction really set in and I just ran with it, once I was tired of osrs I went on to other games and played them just as much. I have always allowed video games to be between me and achieving my goals, I have used them as an easy win to avoid having to do any real work. I use them to escape the reality of the situation I allowed myself to be in and have neglected my responsibilities to improve my situation and get my life together. My girlfriend and I are still together, we live together, and have a soon to be one year old son. Video games are a reason she is still my girlfriend and not yet my wife, not that she has said no, but that I have been to lazy and preoccupied to ask her. We do not have a rocky relationship currently, but I fear that if I do not quit video games, and continue down this path it will tear our family apart. It has already cause me to neglect my responsibility as a provider, and has gotten me in a situation of stress and desperation as many are feeling right now. My biggest motivation to quitting video games is my desire to remove the barrier between the right now, and my professional goals, I believe that video games are the key factor in my success as a father, a husband, and a provider. I apologize for the long read as it is sort of a brain dump. TL;DR I have played games since a child, recently it became an addiction causing me to neglect my responsibilities and I believe video games are the key obstacle to me being a successful father, husband, and provider.