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The Masters Journal


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Day 1-

Hey!  I know what you are thinking.  Who chooses that name for his journal.  I did, because, its a title that I earned years ago in the martial arts.  Though, I have not put in the energy that I should or could, and I often don't feel like being called that.  Matter of fact, I often don't let people call me that, because I feel like a fraud and a liar.  See, My game addition has kept me from being what I could be, far from it.  It has made me out of shape, surgeries in (due to playing games), lying to find more time, and not doing the work I know I need to do in my life.  

I want to be worthy of the title.  Its time for me to make some changes, and it starts today!  

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@Master WilliamsI totally feel you! I'm very nervous for my upcoming school break. One thing I recommend is... rather trying to put in a lot of activities and such to keep yourself occupied, I would try to literally write down/imagine the whole day, in detail, going without you playing games. But in a realistic fashion- if you think you'll have urges, make sure to include that in the overall picture too. In other words, imagine how you will spend your time without playing games but also without pretending like they don't exist. Imagining realistic scenarios coming out in a positive way is an effective way of making such scenarios a reality- that is a common technique for preparing for job interviews. Duh. 

Okay, I'm really brainstorming for myself as well right now lol, cuz I need lots of ideas to keep myself from relapsing. Another one I recommend is to try and take out as many "triggers" as possible- do you still have any connections to gaming on your social media, and if you have a console, is it far away enough to be unreachable? For me, clearing my social media from gaming content and also putting my gaming PC in the guest room rather than the basement are such examples. 

Alright alright, last one 🙂 Imagine yourself going through the process of relapsing again, and really try to think about how unpleasant it is and why you would not want a relapse to happen. This one helps me every single time, I do it daily. 

Best of luck this weekend, but also keep in mind please that success comes from progress, not perfection. 

Hope this will help you stay determined,

Po

Edited by Pochatok
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@PochatokThank you for the feedback!  It helps a lot in that aspect.  I am a busy body, which I know is one of the reasons I enjoy MMO's.  They keep me feeling like I am accomplishing something, ...even though, I know they aren't.  Crazy right!  What I figure in my mind is that I need to reset my day and my habits.  I need to refocus on developing me, and my martial arts, like I did prior to online gaming.  Once I can reprogram that, I have no doubt I'll grow and rid myself of the games.  

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Day 3 -

 

Hey all.  

Today I am struggling.  Yesterday was ok, but I really felt the urge in the morning, and late into the evening. My wife was working, and usually I take that time to get on my game for an hour or two when she is.  I stayed off, got the kitchen cleaned, and then cooked dinner to occupy my time.  I felt better about myself for doing so, and even felt satisfaction that I would from the game, in having a clean home and nice dinner.  This morning though, I am REALLY struggling.  Mornings are when I usually start my day with some sort of video game, and I have Friday off... Must stay strong and focused.  

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So, Friday I reinstalled my game, logged in, did the daily crafting quests in eso, then just sat there.  I sat there and wondered what drew me back in.  I contemplated what I was doing, and why was I on.  I didn't even enjoy the game.  I did it, out of habit, boredom, not really sure why.  I Uninstaller again, and said to myself, let's start this again.  

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Day 1, Saturday, March 13th...

 

I am off today, and spent some time yesterday finding a new way.  The only way for me to deal with this demon, this monkey, this evilness that has controlled me for 20+ years, is to get others involved.  I need to be open about the problem, and grab it by the horns.  Last night I spoke at length with my wife about my decision to stop gaming.  I spoke about my goals, ND about how I need her support.  It also let me have someone to help keep me accountable.  It's for real this time.  

Tomorrow is our 22 year anniversary.  I decided to spend some time taking care of some things I've neglected.  I took my dog to the dog park, and spent an hour and a half training her.  She's smart, and I because I've been gaming, I haven't spent the right time training her to be the dog she should be.  I also spent the time walking.  I got 10,000 steps in today, more than I ha e in many many months.  

I spent some time working on my home.  I decided I needed to fox the garbage disposal that's leaking under the cabinet.  I have neglected it for some time, and need to get it done before my cabinets need to be replaced.  I took my dog with me Daisy.  She did great!

Tomorrow is our anniversary, and both my wife and daughter went shopping, so I'm going out shopping too.  I usually use the time they are gone to get in some game time, but I'm staying strong.  My wife knows as well, and even offered to take my laptop with her so I wouldn't be tempted.  I love her.  I bought her the other side of her wedding ring, so it's now complete.  She's wanted it for some time.  I did struggle briefly in the mall when I passed a new video game facility, but stayed strong and on task.  

Today I found that by taking time away from gaming, and focusing on the things I've been missing, my day has been more fulfilling.  I'm excited for Sunday.

 

Thank you for listening 

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Day 2, Sunday, March 14th.  

Today is my anniversary with my wife.  With yesterday being so fulfilling, I want to keep the momentum going.  We went to the gym together, and did a great work out.  Then got massages.  Back to the house for a nice lunch, and she talked me into getting a pedicure with her and my daughter.  Evening spent with friends and family grilling!  Overall, a great day, and I didn't miss playing the games at all.  It really was a very nice day!  

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Day 3, Monday March 15th. 

I'm not going to lie, today was tough.  I had a meeting schedules that got canceled, and I already planned 2 hours specifically for that meeting. Having the slot opened up made me want to fill it with some game time.  

I spent the time taking care of some tasks I have been putting off, and vented to my wife about wanting to play.  I used my task lists to fill the time in more productive ways and finished the day without playing, and happier because of it.  

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Nice job getting through the day! Getting busy with other things usually prevents us from wanting to do what we're trying to avoid. 

Best 

Jason

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Day 4, Tuesday, March 16th.  

Today was better than its been in a while.  I cleaned house a bit, and spent some time working on my business website.  I journalled and just spent some quiet time alone thinking.  One of my problems is, without motivation to play I am sleeping longer than I should be.  Tonight and into tomorrow, I am going to be more disciplined and get up at a reasonable time.  Let's just hope I can stay off of the am games.   

That was always one of the things I really enjoyed, getting up at 4 am, and spending a few hours before any other distractions playing some games.  What to do with that time now? Maybe I'll go to the gym.

 

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  • 2 months later...

I am not sure if anyone bothers to follow the journals, or misses anyone that relapses, but I have been back on gaming for some time, and decided to try a restart today.  Its time to work harder and really get the job done this time.  Today I am cancelling all of my games, deleting characters, and moving on.  

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On 5/28/2021 at 11:07 AM, Master Williams said:

I am not sure if anyone bothers to follow the journals, or misses anyone that relapses, but I have been back on gaming for some time, and decided to try a restart today.  Its time to work harder and really get the job done this time.  Today I am cancelling all of my games, deleting characters, and moving on.  

This is my 2nd time back posting on the forums and I definitely remember the names of people who have been on here the same time as me. So yes, while I don't know anyone in person, I do notice and appreciate the people here making the same commitment to not gaming that I am.
Good luck with your 2nd time back and journaling again.

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On 5/28/2021 at 12:07 PM, Master Williams said:

I am not sure if anyone bothers to follow the journals, or misses anyone that relapses, but I have been back on gaming for some time, and decided to try a restart today.  Its time to work harder and really get the job done this time.  Today I am cancelling all of my games, deleting characters, and moving on.  

It can be quiet in the forums sometimes but it's a dedicated community. I relapsed about 4 pages into my journal and recommitted after that. 

Why are you playing games? What are you missing in life that they provide? What's going on in real life? 

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On 5/28/2021 at 11:07 AM, Master Williams said:

I am not sure if anyone bothers to follow the journals, or misses anyone that relapses, but I have been back on gaming for some time, and decided to try a restart today.  Its time to work harder and really get the job done this time.  Today I am cancelling all of my games, deleting characters, and moving on.  

Heck yes, keep that attitude! I am totally following your journals, they brighten up my day, or at least make a good relaxation session 🙂 What you are choosing to share is very valuable to people who are completing a similar journey!

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