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Do you know what you Really want?


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some of you may know that i started writing my journal its day 18 and so far i think im doing really good . Lots of good changes , learning self control and etc . I know for sure i did them because i want my life to be better , i want to be better . But i dont know what do i really want to be and who i want to be . I feel like i am in a road that slpits to some dark roads but i only know the "posibility" of what this road ends , idk if u get what i mean . Part of me just want to get to the end of the road no matter witch way because its far better than where i am right now . Part of me wants to chose an specific way to reach . My mood is constantly changing . Again , so far im doing really good but my mind is frustrated . I write a sommery of the ways i see(might be ambitoius tho) :


road number 1 :after passing university entrace exam i study nutritios science meanwhile learn programming . After bschelors i apply to study aboard ( canada ) and move on with my life . Kinda embarresed to say it but one of my goals in life is to create a familly of my own , its too important to me . I want to first have a gf then take it to next lvl . Here its not posible to have a gr , date or move together before msrriage . Its s gamble .


road mumber 2 : study medical science , tooks 7 years here . Then i apply abroad and prossess i wrote above .

defference between road 1 and 2 is in road 1 it takes less and i love it more but being a doctor seems have a more stable job but takes more . Besides in road 1 i can learn programming witch i love too .


road number 3 : stay here . Study in medical school . And just move on here while im sure i will not be happy here .


i just want to find my passion and what i want to achieve . Because with how i study and act now i can set my goals for somewhere ik im going to get  makes me feel comfortable

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  • 5 weeks later...

I'm 44 and I can honestly say that I'm still not sure what I really want. That likely has to do with the fact that I played video games religiously until a few weeks ago. 

As for you, wanting a family of your own is nothing to be embarrassed about. That's something to be proud of.

As to Road number 3 - if you know you won't be happy don't do it. Why even consider that option?

It sounds like you've got a lot of work ahead of you but you also sound confident in your abilities. All the best in  your studies and I hope the road you pick leads to happiness!


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Having a couple potential paths is good. 

Now, what I would advise you do is sort out the different pros and cons for each and determine where you want to go from there. 

Getting a decent pay for a job is good and both programming and medicine are both really good fields that pay well. 

It ultimately is up to you what you want to do. If your interests line up more with one over the other, you will love what you do.

Even if you start off with a lower pay, the passion and love of what you do for a living will show and can give you potential promotion and career opportunities. 

Good luck on decision making and I hope you find a path that will make you happy. 

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I'm 59 and I loved this post.  A couple of things:

1. Don't focus on what you want to "be", focus on what you want to do.

I have met a lot of people who want to be a writer (for instance), but they hate reading and sitting down to write.  They are enamored with the notion of being a writer, but the actual hard work of it is not something they can ever actually do.

Same for doctors:  I have met people who want the clout and prestige of "being" a doctor (I even know a few who just want to write themselves drug prescriptions, but let's not go there), but they are not down with the whole mess and goo and slicing people up that comes with the job.  Personally I get lightheaded when I see blood, so it would never be for me.

Choosing what you want to be is one thing - it means planning out the whole course of your life.  It's daunting.  But choosing what you want to do only involves picking an activity for now.  I know a guy who was a great electrical engineer, and in his 40's trashed it all and went to nursing school.  He did really well at it too.  

Anyhow - hope any of this helps.  

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