Jump to content
×
×
  • Create New...

NEW VIDEO: Psychologist's WARNING About VIDEO GAMES

Reset 2.0


Jordan2020
 Share

Recommended Posts

Well I am proud of myself today even though I relapsed yesterday because it has been the longest streak again. I hit my 9th day which I normally before I would hit 3 and relapse. I was feeling really depressed, socially I secluded myself, I was thinking about all the friends I don't have. I look on Instagram and seeing people that I hang out with at school that hang out with each other outside of school but when I want to hang out with them after school they have to think about it and when it's just them they just hang out which really annoys me. I was telling myself that I am not going to do anything with my life and my Dad kept telling me not to think that way and that I am just fine but I am not. I feel out of place in anything I do in life and I feel like I am by myself in this walk in life. I feel super isolated to anyone in my life. There have been times that this isolation has brought me close to actually committing suicide but I am able to work through and keep pushing then there are other other days where I just tell myself that I should've committed suicide when I had the chance and quit honestly being a pussy about it and just do it. Last summer I came close to committing suicide because of how depressed I was. I took a bunch of sleeping pills and the next thing I knew I was awake in a hospital and I had to go through a lot of therapy. That is the closest I have ever been to actually being dead but now I can't do that because I sit there and think maybe something will change and I killed myself for nothing and that is the only thing stopping me. Nothing has changed though and the more time that passes the more hopeless I feel. But anyways today is my 1st day again. Let's see how I do this time.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jordan,

You have my recognition and everybody else’s here who supports you. You have your family and people that depend on you, even your dog. Focus on things within your control. 

When I read about what a great day you had, I was so pumped I followed through on all of my tasks on that day.

keep moving even if it is just a crawl. I am going to have my boxing session now and just pummel that punching bag.

Edited by Amphibian220
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today is my 2nd day of my detox and I am feeling really good. Yesterday for the the most part of the day I was really productive. I worked a lot on a program I am taking to create huge amounts of wealth if I am willing to work my butt off. Also I ran 3 miles and that felt really good considering for the past years I would just sit around in front of a tv. It took my brain fog away and made me feel accomplished and mental clarity. I also decided to do a detox on another thing because of the all the benefits I read and watched, and was told online last night which I am decided along with this and they are both on the same day streak so since this is my 2nd day of no gaming then today is also my 2nd day for nofap. I decided to add it to the no gaming because of the benefits. Some of the benefits are the same as no gaming benefits so that'll double the benefits if I do both.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

21 hours ago, Jordan2020 said:

Today is my 2nd day of my detox and I am feeling really good. Yesterday for the the most part of the day I was really productive. I worked a lot on a program I am taking to create huge amounts of wealth if I am willing to work my butt off. Also I ran 3 miles and that felt really good considering for the past years I would just sit around in front of a tv. It took my brain fog away and made me feel accomplished and mental clarity. I also decided to do a detox on another thing because of the all the benefits I read and watched, and was told online last night which I am decided along with this and they are both on the same day streak so since this is my 2nd day of no gaming then today is also my 2nd day for nofap. I decided to add it to the no gaming because of the benefits. Some of the benefits are the same as no gaming benefits so that'll double the benefits if I do both.

Hey Jordan, I've been reading through your posts and I think what you have been doing is amazing. Yes you have fallen many times but you keep getting back up and that is amazing! Keep going and you will achieve the life you dream of!

I look forward to seeing your future posts and hearing of your triumphs!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well today is my 3rd day of my detox for no gaming and semen-retention. I feel pretty good. I woke up today and I decided to declutter everything around my room, the dining room table where I eat, and the kitchen. Now that everything in my house is organized I feel more clearheaded. Then I took it a step further and caught up on all my school work, reading list, and planner stuff, and my priority list and now I feel like I'm ready to conquer the world and know where I need to go from here. I think today is the most clearheaded I have felt in forever. I know my goals and what I am going to to today, tomorrow, and everyday for awhile. Instead of the day coming and I am curious and my head is everywhere on what to do for the day. Also I still haven't really seen the benefits of the no gaming or semen-retention yet but I hope to seem them really soon.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I want you to carry on with this mentality Jordan. Its ok that the success will not come in a week, month, maybe 8 or 10 months of grinding work, loving your interests, being open to people, perfecting your skills, you will become a great person. 

Im feeling very strange, I sort of know what to do every day, but.. What does it mean to love yourself? Looking after your hygiene, physical fitness etc. yet Glover says this in his book:

”The irony is that no one really values Cal for his attachments. Further, his dependency for external validation actually prevents people from getting to know him just as he is. None of the things have to do anything with who he is as a person. Nevertheless, they are the things he believes give him identity and value”

So what should I love myself for if not for the things I do? Love my culture? Or does he mean loving certain things about myself irrespective of what others think?

Edited by Amphibian220
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yesterday I was busy so I didn't post but today I am feeling pretty good. Each day I go I keep getting more and more clearheaded and I finally realize what I want to do and where I am heading with my life. Today is my 5th day of nofap and the no gaming. I have not really seen any improvements yet except for being a little more clearheaded as I said earlier. There are tons of videos that I have seen the past few days talking about the benefits of semen-retention. The big ones that I saw are increase in testosterone levels, Increase in confidence and self-esteem, increase in attractiveness. They are saying that if you don't fap that you will become very attractive out of nowhere from the opposite sex, and increase in energy. I haven't seen any of that yet but I hope it is true and I am not doing this for nothing. I want to fap really bad but I am staying with it. It takes a lot of discipline. Also I found out the biggest area I need to work on right now on myself is my self-esteem. For years I have had very low self-esteem and I want to increase that and doing this nofap I have been told that it'll be the best way to naturally boost your self-esteem out of nowhere. You don't have to really put any effort except to just not fap and your good. I hope this works. I am also all caught up on school work, reading list, house chores. I just am feeling better and better as the days go. lets keep this streak up. I have not felt this good I don't think ever. Later today I am going to do another 3 mile run and lift a bunch of weights and then go home and be more productive on my other life goals. lets keep this ball rolling. Big things to come. I hope all you are feeling great as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I will give a tip that I have given countless times on this forum.

After jogging 3 miles, the craving for the fap will go away completely. Tell me if its true or not afterwards.

Just any good cardio where you a break a sweat and temper your eating habits. You dont need to battle a craving after this.

Edited by Amphibian220
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Today is my 6th day of nofap and no gaming and I don't really feel different yet. I am hoping that'll change. I am nervous about my dog right now because she has to get her leg amputated today while I am in school. I hope to come home and hear goods new. Other than that today is mostly just a waiting game.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel horrible, but not completely horrible today. If I had to give a word to the feeling I would say confused and nervous. Last night I didn't relapse on gaming but I did relapse on nofap. It got very uncomfortable and I couldn't take it anymore. I was getting any benefits from it so I said I ain't going to put myself through so much pain to get no benefits. Today I almost stayed in bed and didn't come to school but I told myself to get up and go. I could really use a coffee right now though too but I don't have any cash because I don't have a job and I am a senior in high school. How sad is that to be a senior in high school and you don't have any money saved, no cellphone, no car of your own (I am using my Dad's car.) I really feel awful not having really no money of my own. I have had 5 jobs and I can't seem to hold any job I get for very long. I get burnt out and I quit. I have a hard time committing to anything that I do. The other thing that is bothering me is that the girl that I like that doesn't like me back anymore I still can't get over her and she broke up with me back in October and I feel awful every time I see her at school and I keep thinking she will turn back around but nothing has happened. It makes me really depressed. Another thing bothering me is I have been thinking yesterday and today to get back into gaming in moderation but I keep telling myself to go through the 90 days first. Also I don't know about doing the nofap and trying to go longer and not give in again, but I don't want to do it and the benefits never kick in. Also I am going to try to come back to my Christian faith that I have been pushing away for awhile because of my major depressive episodes. Also I kinda got off and on my meds so I am going to try to get them going straight again. That'll make me feel a little better. Also I want to start working on my self-esteem. I think my super low self-esteem is the cause for my being awkward and nervous in social situations along with my super depressive episodes and it could be part of why I have been single and can't get a girlfriend for the past 4 years. I don't want to be single but It is super hard not to be. Out of all these issues the biggest one bothering me is the fact that I am still single and I have been trying to get a girlfriend and I can't do it. It is like the universe wants me to stay single and I hate it. I would say this contributes to me being so depressed all the time. It makes my PTSD worse too. I just want to fix all these issues one by one so I can be more fulfilled in life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First of all: I still don't see the problem with nofap as long as it is not porn. This is a normal desire, which is the main reason, why we reproduce and therefore survive as humanity. So avoiding it does not seem logical to me. Instead, you should enjoy and embrace it. Now porn again is a different animal. It is a monster that needs to be avoided at all cost, since it can fuck up your expectations, your brain and your libido, which creates a vicious cycle. 

Regarding jobs, I had several of them before and was trying out quite a bit. And I always learned something. Even if it is just this: I don't want to do this ever again. I had some of these jobs. One job probably produced the most horrific week in my entire life. So what? To the next one. You will find an enjoyable job eventually. I am sure.

And please stop this universe stuff that it refuses you to have a girlfriend. For people like you and me, it is that we have never learned to behave in settings with people of our age. We don't know, how to do good small talk, hate this awkward silence and are nervous in social settings. Ofc stuff like hygene, being overweight etc. also can play a role. But guess what: It is a skill. The other people, who just have not wasted their time gaiming a lot, they have a headstart and learned the stuff years ago, what we are still missing. So working on that should be the priority. I am doing a course about this right now. Let's see, if it helps.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well today is my 8th day of no gaming and my 2nd day of nofap because like I said I relapsed on it 2 days ago. Today I am depressed again and tired. I for some odd reason had pretty bad insomnia last night. It has been that way the past few nights and I don't know why. I was happy coming to school but then I went in and felt depressed while sitting at a table with friends while the girl who once told me she liked me but no longer likes me and it has been that way for 4 months. I saw her very well dressed and I keep thinking she was going to look at me with how close we were and give me a smile but she just continued ignoring me. It made me feel horrible. Some days she is completely cold and acts like I am not there and other times I will be walking somewhere or doing something and she will stop and smile at me or even look at me. When she does that I feel amazing and I start thinking she will come back around and a few weeks later I lose hope again and it really hurts and I start to think negatively of myself or I want to throw in the towel about my life. I don't want to work super hard to become majorly successful if I can't even get into a relationship with someone to share it with. I would probably say the biggest reason I have been depressed for the past 4 years is because I am single and can't get a girlfriend no matter how hard I try and it really, really hurts. It makes me want to give up on life and sometimes I honestly start thinking about committing suicide because of it. When she told me the day she liked me I was so happy that I can't even describe how far away my depression went and to know that being in a relationship has that much control on how I feel makes me feel worse. I have tried being like those people you see telling guys to just work on themselves and their lives and not to think about girls or a relationship but I honestly can't. I will try it over and over and it don't work for me. The only way I am going to fix this super depressive state that has been with me for years is to find a way to get into a relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am worried about you. Don't you talk about suicide man, I will not allow it 😮 

What exactely is it that you are trying so hard to get a girlfriend? I mean what kind of strategies? Are you constantly asking girls out for dinner? Trying to work on your social skills to be charming and a gentlemen?

And there is a pretty straight forward reason, why some people advice to improve yourself indepdentently of women: A relationship will not help you overcome negativity and bad feelings. Instead of making your happiness dependent on some future event (money, cars, girlfriend), you should start working on yourself now. It you are not happy and content with yourself, why should women want to be in a relationship with yourself? 

Btw. I did not have a relationship in my entire school time. It sucked ofc. For some people it just not happens in school I guess. I mean I was a bully victim and kind of a loner so that did not help regarding relationship stuff. ^^ I had a relationship during my university time. Did you think that I was happy with it? At first sure. For like half a year, but then some problems started. Long story short, I stuck to the relationship for 3 years. I wish I had finished it earlier. Too late now, so whatever.

So all what I'm saying: You will have a relationship eventually. Be patient. The more you work on yourself, your behaviour and your skills and confidence, the sooner it will probably happen.

Ps.: If you are having suicice thoughts, you can always talk to me if you want. I will talk it out of you! Or better, talk to someone you can trust, talk to public service hotlines there are many options. But don't let it grow in your stomack. You are not alone.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That is the problem @Alexanderle. I have worked on every other area such as confidence, energy, working out, eating well, reading books to improve myself. I watch teachingmensfashion videos for style, grooming, and fitness. I am still not getting any attention from girls at my school even with all the changes these past 2 years to myself. For the most part I am ok with social interaction. I am not the best but I am pretty good. I am getting tired of working on myself to not get anywhere with women. I am not going to continue working my ass off to get nowhere. I am content with everything else. The only thing left that I am not content with is the girlfriend part. That is the only area of my life that makes me super depressed to the point of almost not being able to function. I am not happy. The girlfriend will complete it. Like I said I am content with everything else but the girlfriend, but also like I said earlier I am not going to continue. I am running out of go juice to keep going. The depression is continuing to get worse. No girls at my school will talk to me. I only have one friend that is a girl but she has a boyfriend and she said she liked me before she met her boyfriend but she couldn't find me before they got together. She said she tried to find me. She even tried to find me on facebook but I am not on facebook. Today is my 9th day of not gaming and my 3rd day of nofap. The cravings aren't as bad to fap and there are no gaming cravings for some reason. I would say the biggest reason for not having gaming cravings is I am more concerned about trying to get a girlfriend right now and they takes up my time. I would also say the part that contributes to my low self-esteem and social anxiety is not having a girlfriend because then it makes me think it is me for the reason I don't have one.

Edited by Jordan2020
Adding
Link to comment
Share on other sites

What do you think, is the reason that you have no girlfriend? Try to answer that with objectivity. I saw on your picture, how you look like. You are not ugly. ^^

I mean right now it appears to me, as if you think that this is a one way street: You makek a couple of changes and then you are at your goal, where infinite happiness awaits you. That is not the case. We are designed not feel annoyed, because certain things, which we want. Once we have it, we are contained for like a couple of days then we want something else. Our desire for more, to improve and to get better is the reason, why we are on top of the food chain. And not elephants for instance. 

And let me tell you something about change: You should not change and improve yourself to get girls. You should do it for yourself. Take care of yourself, as if you were another person. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

Last but not least regarding girls: If you are "needy" and have this attitude "I desperately want a girlfriend", then let me tell you: Girls notice that. Do you want a girlfriend that is clingly and needy and is not contained with herself and wants you to do it? And girls will not make you happy or reach the magic tree, where eternal happiness lies. After a couple of months, you are used to it and new problems appear. 

 

And once again: School is a horrible place. Once it is over, your life will drastically improve. It is like a magical formula. xD I promise. 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Alexanderle I have tried to find a girlfriend but no girls show interest in me or even talk to me. No girl will ask me out and they all mostly ignore me. If a girl showed interest I would ask them out but none of them show interest so I don't even asked. I have asked out maybe 2 girls in the past year and a half. The one I didn't even ask out she just told me she had a crush on me and she was going to tell me but she never followed through because when we got back from spring break trip she found her boyfriend and they have been together for almost a year now. The other girl that I asked out I asked her out because she was flirting with me and touching my arm when she passed me in the halls. She gave very clear signs she was into me. Out of nowhere though one day she told me she loved me and then I got all excited and that very night she broke up with me and it still bothers me and I still don't know what happened. I mean you don't tell a person you love them and then 6hrs later block them on Instagram and never want to talk to you again. That really hurt. Other than those 2 girls I have had no luck with finding girls who are interested.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Want to hear how often I had girls showing interest in me like you described, when I was in school? Zero. So I guess you are already able to do more then I was able back in your age. You can build on that. And you already able to ask girls out by yourself. I am still struggling with that. Mightly.

So I advice you to just keep going. Ask out more girls if you feel comfortable, focus on getting more relaxed. The less needy and more self confident you appear the more it will attract nice ladies. Those who treat you bad (saying I love you and then break up) they can go fuck themselves. Not worth your time.

Again, be patient. Your time will come.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

From my ripe age of 22, I can attest that @Alexanderle is right on the money and gives good insights.

I have a feeling that dating for most young males is always the same strugglebus, simply because there is no way of telling how well are they doing in their life objectively. All they have is potential and except those few guys who have been subjected to some external discipline (e.g. football clubs, so they get good physique). There is no telling what happens with them next.

Females sense that. If a serious relationship in some cases implies sex and sex in some cases implies kids, they better be bloody sure who are they in a relationship with.

Keep doing your thing and find your passions. And be extremely aware if you start doing something to primarily get girls, e.g. working out. If you work out to get a girl and then stop, guess what. She'll notice and she'll go away! But if it helps you to get started on a positive habit, any motivation is a good one.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I second Alexanderle’s post.

Something else i picked up on you are overconcentrating on getting a girl. Ideally, you want to develop your values, skills, profession and personal power (showing yourself that you can take responsibility and achieve great results) in order to get some bearings of where you want to go in life.

Right at this moment you may not even know who you want to be your SO! Good looking is good, but what happens if after some time you realize that your values mismatch? Imagine how costly a break-up will be if you enter a relationship prematurely. It will stifle your efforts just as it has done before. 

 

Edited by Amphibian220
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I saw this youtube video last night it was an ad before the actual video I was wanting to watch. The ad caught my eyes. It was a guy talking about how there are many men out there who have the success they want and they have the job, they have their values understood. They are all set in the health and wealth category except he still can't get a wife or girlfriend. Many of you guys are saying that I need to work on myself to become the best version of myself which I am already doing and I am still getting nowhere with the girls. I hate it. The motivational people out there along with many successful celebrities say that the only reason guys work their asses off to be successful is so they can have that girl or whatever they want. I am happy in my wealth and health where I am at right now in High School. The only thing that I am not happy with and that causes my life to be depressing and I fall apart everyday is the fact that I still can't get a girlfriend. That is why I am losing self-esteem and I am starting to reevaluate myself. I tell myself I am happy and doing amazing in every other aspect of my life except for the relationships part so I tell myself it must be because I am ugly or this thing, or that thing. The other thing I found out moving on from girls...I am able to play games in moderation. I realized that when I play a game now I get bored pretty quick because I am not committed when I am only playing 30min to a few hours on days here or there. When I do that to myself it makes it so I am not committed to the game I am playing because I know I am going to get off soon so I am not going to obtain the goals in my game that I want so it gets boring really quick. I have realized my addiction comes back when I become committed to the game I am playing and I get sucked into it, but If I keep doing what I am doing I won't go back to being committed and it'll allow me to play in moderation. So the only other thing I am tracking right now is that I am on day 6 of nofap and I still don't see any benefits yet but I hope to soon. Right now though I am super depressed and I really want a relationship and I know it is impossible so until something comes I feel I am going to continue being miserable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

2 hours ago, Jordan2020 said:

I saw this youtube video last night ...

Stop, that’s when you gave yourself away to the enemy.

Internet is the most perverse form of advertising and programming to date. When you want to recover from sadness, dont go to it.

Edited by Amphibian220
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share