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CornishGameHen

Escaping a Virtual World

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9 hours ago, CornishGameHen said:

But point is, I met them in an environment that was an atmosphere for building relationships.  At school, you saw them often.  So, heck...you start a friendship, get to know each other, and start going out!  lol.  I guess It was easier then.  Nowadays, you post your profile and selfie, and play a game of 'go-fish-for-a-potential-match'.  No thank you.   It is not for me.

I'm not sure how your workplace looks like, but assuming you had the ability to choose your job, you also chose what people you see and how often. I wouldn't consider the classic 9-5 office job to be naturally hostile towards building relationships - high schools have schedule similar to them and even unis are not total anarchy schedule-wise (if you don't want them to be!).

Myself, I teach English a few times a week. But since I am not a classic school teacher and instead I teach in a company, I don't have any colleagues and I see my students once a week. It took some adjustment for me to learn to live with that, but everything has its pros and cons.

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@LordArjuna Hey there, I reread your response and understand where you are coming from about labeling ourselves. I do think that people can be adaptable and can oscillate between introversion and extroversion in their lifetime.  However, there is a difference of how much energy one derives or depletes from social interaction, hence the description of introversion versus extroversion.   Not as labels or how people interpret their environment,  but more of a sensory input phenomenon.   For example,  I can be extroverted at my job for the purpose of building rapport with colleagues and patients, but I have noticed how fatiguing it is at the end of the day.  I just want to get away from noise, the sound of phone rings, and be in solitude for a long time.  I have to recuperate and I do not feel like socializing at all.  I retreat into the safety and comfort of my shell, so to speak.  Now, some years ago I read the book The Introvert Advantage.  It really appealed to me because I always wondered why I felt wired like this; my sensory input during socializing was different than the more outgoing people.  Why did I require more solitary time to myself than others?  Neurologically,  I believe that I may be quite sensitive to sensory stimuli as well.  Much like experiencing a silent migraine in which sensory stimuli is amplified.  So just think upon this for a moment.  There are physiological influences that may predetermine how one interacts with others in the real world.  

Edited by CornishGameHen
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Quit Gaming

  • Day 6
  • no urge to login to my games

Sleep

  • went to bed at 10:30 pm last night, woke up once or twice at 1:30 a.m. and 3:30 a.m.
  • reading a boring sewing technique manual helped lull me to sleep lol.  I think I was asleep within fifteen minutes.
  • woke up today at 6:45 a.m.
  • approximately 7 hours of sleep, possibly less as sleep was interrupted

Exercise

  • yesterday I walked for an hour around race track in the early evening
  • I tried going to the gym too after work, but was very noisy, loud music.  I had to leave.  Maybe next time I'll bring earplugs. 

Reading

  • I seem to like reading books about information rather than novels
  • Currently I am reading The Fleece and Fiber Sourcebook
  • Concentration with reading is about 30 minutes, I hope to increase this

Computer use

  • 1 hour browsing GQ forums and responding to posts, lots or reflective thinking going on
  • 1 hour watching documentary on Youtube

Hobbies

  • made some turkey soup yesterday
  • 1 hour knitting
  • 30 minutes reading

Social Activities

  • none yesterday, but all good. I enjoyed my resting time in solitude. 

Other Tasks

  • 1 and 1/2 hours house cleaning; vacuumed, dusted, sorted out things to donate, gathered up plastic bottles to recycle, laundry, dishes

Positive Thoughts

  • I am grateful for free time to finish projects

 

Edited by CornishGameHen
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13 hours ago, Ikar said:

I'm not sure how your workplace looks like, but assuming you had the ability to choose your job, you also chose what people you see and how often. I wouldn't consider the classic 9-5 office job to be naturally hostile towards building relationships - high schools have schedule similar to them and even unis are not total anarchy schedule-wise (if you don't want them to be!).

Myself, I teach English a few times a week. But since I am not a classic school teacher and instead I teach in a company, I don't have any colleagues and I see my students once a week. It took some adjustment for me to learn to live with that, but everything has its pros and cons.

That's true, @Ikar.  Work can be a great way to meet people too, or at least net-work through your coworkers.  I had a few crushes only to discover that they were dating someone already lol.  I wish there were more males where I work too.  Unfortunately, there are more women where I work.  But you never know, I could end up meeting a coworker's friend or family member, etc.  I will keep the possibilities open. 

Oh I understand about your job setting.  Yes, pros and cons.  I'm assuming that you find social outlets somewhere else, like in hobbies, or sports, etc? 

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14 hours ago, goodvibes said:

Only you can decide how much you need to commit without gaming and whatever you write in your journal is above all a help to you, I have no doubt the majority here supports that. This place has never really enforced an all-or-nothing mentality when it comes to quitting games as I understand. I am always happy to see new folk check in to share their progress and I welcome you to stay however long you like this is a really good forum.

@goodvibes Thank you for this.  Very thoughtful response.  Yeah, I'm here to hash out some personal demons too, I suppose.  It will come out in my journal.  It's a form of therapy for me.  Processing all of my thoughts and emotions related to them is a lot of work, and it's not done over a short period of time. 

Yeah I came across some posts from people who are also casual gamers, or game moderately.  You're right, this forum is a mixture of both.  I think it would be cool to have a sub-section for people who aren't necessarily addicted to games, but who want to quit due to negative experiences with gaming.  Or people that just want to keep their gaming in check. 

And I love this forum.  I can't believe how many insightful people post here.  It's beyond inspirational and uplifting to me.  I know that people may also disagree with some things I write, perhaps, but that's a learning curve for me too.  To not react badly if people don't necessarily agree. 

Thanks for the input, it is greatly appreciated!  :) 

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10 hours ago, CornishGameHen said:

@LordArjuna Hey there, I reread your response and understand where you are coming from about labeling ourselves. I do think that people can be adaptable and can oscillate between introversion and extroversion in their lifetime.  However, there is a difference of how much energy one derives or depletes from social interaction, hence the description of introversion versus extroversion.   Not as labels or how people interpret their environment,  but more of a sensory input phenomenon.   For example,  I can be extroverted at my job for the purpose of building rapport with colleagues and patients, but I have noticed how fatiguing it is at the end of the day.  I just want to get away from noise, the sound of phone rings, and be in solitude for a long time.  I have to recuperate and I do not feel like socializing at all.  I retreat into the safety and comfort of my shell, so to speak.  Now, some years ago I read the book The Introvert Advantage.  It really appealed to me because I always wondered why I felt wired like this; my sensory input during socializing was different than the more outgoing people.  Why did I require more solitary time to myself than others?  Neurologically,  I believe that I may be quite sensitive to sensory stimuli as well.  Much like experiencing a silent migraine in which sensory stimuli is amplified.  So just think upon this for a moment.  There are physiological influences that may predetermine how one interacts with others in the real world.  

What you describe applies to me, too. About appearing to be much more sensitive than other people to external stimuli.

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20 hours ago, CornishGameHen said:

Hi @LordArjuna.  I know you meant well despite it bordering on psycho-analysis. 

Yes I also know that introversion is separate from shyness or social anxiety; I do not relate these terms as being identical.  

I really am an introvert.  I'm not ashamed of my nature either.  I don't feel energized socializing.  I like my own company too.   But yes I also cope with social anxiety and I understand my social anxiety very well.  Please read my post about social anxiety in the General section, which I posted earlier today before your response here.  I have had therapy and have learned from it.  Which is why I'm using that therapy now to cope when my SA acts up.  In my career I do much public speaking, as I teach classes for patients awaiting surgery.  I feel very confident about public speaking but my SA does creep up especially if I isolate when I'm experiencing depression.  I feel like I have to defend myself but it is what it is.  I know my triggers and I have the tools to cope.  Not all days are good but when I succeed I feel good about myself.   Like my attempt at socializing with people yesterday was, in my eyes, a success.  

Fair enough,

I guess I was talking about myself but thought that my ideas might help you specifically. What I should have done is post a comment into my own log that didn't specifically point at you. Than if you read it you would have "liked" and agreed or ignored it if not.

I have removed the post

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1 hour ago, CornishGameHen said:

That's true, @Ikar.  Work can be a great way to meet people too, or at least net-work through your coworkers.  I had a few crushes only to discover that they were dating someone already lol.  I wish there were more males where I work too.  Unfortunately, there are more women where I work.  But you never know, I could end up meeting a coworker's friend or family member, etc.  I will keep the possibilities open. 

Oh I understand about your job setting.  Yes, pros and cons.  I'm assuming that you find social outlets somewhere else, like in hobbies, or sports, etc? 

I guess daycare jobs of any sort are carried out by women rather than men from a purely statistic viewpoint, but it's always a good idea to keep your eyes open!

I also attend university classes once a week, so I meet my classmates there as well. Other than that, I am generally able to go out at least one more time per week, either with some of my other friends or family. I generally exercise alone, but I've been thinking about some collective sport recently. I also want to get back to drumming, but only on a local amateur scale with a bunch of beginners.

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On 10/16/2019 at 12:16 PM, LordArjuna said:

Fair enough,

I guess I was talking about myself but thought that my ideas might help you specifically. What I should have done is post a comment into my own log that didn't specifically point at you. Than if you read it you would have "liked" and agreed or ignored it if not.

I have removed the post

@LordArjuna I didn't mind if you kept the post up.  I apologize, I think I over-reacted too.  

I haven't read your journal yet, and maybe it would have been better if I did, so that I could understand your perspective better!  I understand now when you explained what you meant.  I extend an olive branch to you, my friend.  ? 

Edited by CornishGameHen

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Random Thoughts

  • Personal Blog

I am thinking about starting my own personal blog which can be viewed by family and friends only.  The blog will be about sewing or knitting projects.  I like the idea of a blog because I can post pictures of what I'm crafting, and over time I'll be able to see how I've improved.  

Also, I'd rather not post too many pictures of what I sew on this forum.  

  • Less time on GQ forums

It feels like I've done a crash course in GQ forums the last few days.  I've read as much as I can absorb in such a short period of time.  I'm considering cutting back on the forums significantly, which ultimately means that I won't be posting on others' journals that much.  I can easily spend an entire afternoon just reading journals.  It's been amazing to read, however, and I am still amazed at this community's support system.  But I think I want to peal back a bit for now.

Having said all that, I'm going to post irregularly to this journal, up to my 30 day no-gaming mark.  It won't be a daily thing.  

I'm keeping busy with a handful of projects that are long over-due.  I don't want to procrastinate on them anymore.  ? 

 

Edited by CornishGameHen

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Quit Gaming

  • Day 7
  • no urge to game

Sleep

  • slept poorly, kept waking up
  • went to bed at 9:30 pm last night, woke up twice
  • woke up at 7:45 a.m. today with a head cold

Exercise

  • stretched yesterday, still sore after doing a brisk walk outside the night before
  • got a massage instead

Reading

  • currently reading The Fleece and Fiber Source Book, lol I'm weird I like to read about sheep and the process of making wool!  
  • 20 minutes skimming through book, 1/4 of the way into it

Computer use

  • 45 minutes on Game Quitters, much improved compared to 1-2 hours, cutting down on journal reading and other topics.  
  • 1 hour watching documentary
  • 20 minutes watching  three sewing tutorials.  Thank God I found tutorials that are less than five minutes long.

Social Activities

  • none yesterday, still unwinding from meet-up group this week, and also a long day at work
  • enjoyed my solitary time to do projects

Other Tasks

  • 1 and 1/2 hours of sewing, and re-doing part of a botched project arrrrgggghhh!!!
  • 30 minutes knitting

Positive Thoughts

I'm grateful for my job, as it allows me to live a comfortable life, with a roof over my head, food on the table, and a small measure of financial security.  I have a feeling of contentment.  Everything else is the cherry on top.  

Additional Thoughts

I think I found a very good balance with indoor and outdoor activities. This is a considerably different lifestyle compared to my university years.   I went to school far away from home, and thought I could forge a new 'me'.  So, I joined many different social clubs, hiking (I really loved this group), attended all sorts of interesting school theater plays, listened to some interesting special speakers,  joined in a few pub crawls, shared an apartment with a super cool roommate, and just had a ball. The first couple years of university were an amazing and unforgettable experience.  I did not play video games throughout my university years.  During that time I didn't even know much about video games.  

Yeah, so that was my late twenties;  my university days.  ?  

Currently, I'm a bit more settled down.  And I think this is a good thing.  Perhaps it's a maturing with age.    I also began to understand myself more, and what makes me tick.  I have an introversion in my genetic make-up.  It's a physiological phenomenon.  I enjoy my own company, I need more time to recuperate after socializing, and I don't like noisy places or bright flashing lights.  I even have a preference for certain sports.  I enjoy badminton, ping-pong, tennis, hiking, and speed walking. 

This meant developing a strategy in adopting these hobbies and physical activities into my life, without jeopardizing my internal equilibrium, for lack of a better phrase.  I discovered that I enjoy solitary hobbies, while listening to relaxing music, or listening to an audiobook.  It has a very calming effect.  I also make sure my home is comfortable.  I like cleanliness and orderliness.  I often keep a fragrance candle burning in the background.  Right now, my fave candle scents are associated with the Fall season;  pumpkin spice, apple spice, cinnamon, vanilla, etc.  I like a cozy atmosphere too, and a natural-aesthetic;  hard wood floors, natural textiles, soft shades of blues and greens, very earthy tones in my decor.  This is to calm my visual senses too when I come home after a long day at work.  It truly is a 'home'.

As for activities, I made sure I joined a social group that is close to home, and within a familiar environment again.  My knitting group is only five minutes drive away, and the event is no longer than two hours, once a week.  I am looking into joining a hiking group soon, but will do this only once every two weeks.  I do not want to over-load myself with activities and burn out.  I think this is the proper balance for me.  Plus I love going outside and walking, versus being inside a noisy gym.  Or I'll do yoga at home in my cozy environment.  I'm happy as a clam.  ? 

Speaking of social activities, my coworkers invited me to go across the border to a casino after work this Friday.  I agreed to go.  I don't gamble, but it's a night out with a couple of people that I get along with at work.  Why the heck not?  I don't want to spend my money gambling, so I'll put in a $20 bill, and watch them play.  The environment may be a bit noisy too, so I am preparing myself for this, and expect myself to require more time to recuperate afterwards.  

 

Edited by CornishGameHen
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5 hours ago, CornishGameHen said:

Quit Gaming

  • Day 7
  • no urge to game

Sleep

  • slept poorly, kept waking up
  • went to bed at 9:30 pm last night, woke up twice
  • woke up at 7:45 a.m. today with a head cold

Exercise

  • stretched yesterday, still sore after doing a brisk walk outside the night before
  • got a massage instead

Reading

  • currently reading The Fleece and Fiber Source Book, lol I'm weird I like to read about sheep and the process of making wool!  
  • 20 minutes skimming through book, 1/4 of the way into it

Computer use

  • 45 minutes on Game Quitters, much improved compared to 1-2 hours, cutting down on journal reading and other topics.  
  • 1 hour watching documentary
  • 20 minutes watching  three sewing tutorials.  Thank God I found tutorials that are less than five minutes long.

Social Activities

  • none yesterday, still unwinding from meet-up group this week, and also a long day at work
  • enjoyed my solitary time to do projects

Other Tasks

  • 1 and 1/2 hours of sewing, and re-doing part of a botched project arrrrgggghhh!!!
  • 30 minutes knitting

Positive Thoughts

I'm grateful for my job, as it allows me to live a comfortable life, with a roof over my head, food on the table, and a small measure of financial security.  I have a feeling of contentment.  Everything else is the cherry on top.  

Additional Thoughts

I think I found a very good balance with indoor and outdoor activities. This is a considerably different lifestyle compared to my university years.   I went to school far away from home, and thought I could forge a new 'me'.  So, I joined many different social clubs, hiking (LOVED this group), attended all sorts of interesting school theater plays, listened to some interesting special speakers (like Ian Rankin!!  This guy is hilarious for a mystery writer!!)  joined in a few pub crawls, shared an apartment with a super cool roommate, and just had a ball. The first couple years of university were an amazing and unforgettable experience.  I did not play video games throughout my university years.  During that time I didn't even know much about video games.  

Yeah, so that was my late twenties;  my university days.  ?  

Currently, I'm a bit more settled down.  And I think this is a good thing.  Perhaps it's a maturing with age.    I also began to understand myself more, and what makes me tick.  I have an introversion in my genetic make-up.  It's a physiological phenomenon.  I enjoy my own company, I need more time to recuperate after socializing, and I don't like noisy places or bright flashing lights.  I even have a preference for certain sports.  I enjoy badminton, ping-pong, tennis, hiking, and speed walking. 

This meant developing a strategy in adopting these hobbies and physical activities into my life, without jeopardizing my internal equilibrium, for lack of a better phrase.  I discovered that I enjoy solitary hobbies, while listening to relaxing music, or listening to an audiobook.  It has a very calming effect.  I also make sure my home is comfortable.  I like cleanliness and orderliness.  I often keep a fragrance candle burning in the background.  Right now, my fave candle scents are associated with the Fall season;  pumpkin spice, apple spice, cinnamon, vanilla, etc.  I like a cozy atmosphere too, and a natural-aesthetic;  hard wood floors, natural textiles, soft shades of blues and greens, very earthy tones in my decor.  This is to calm my visual senses too when I come home after a long day at work.  It truly is a 'home'.

As for activities, I made sure I joined a social group that is close to home, and within a familiar environment again.  My knitting group is only five minutes drive away, and the event is no longer than two hours, once a week.  I am looking into joining a hiking group soon, but will do this only once every two weeks.  I do not want to over-load myself with activities and burn out.  I think this is the proper balance for me.  Plus I love going outside and walking, versus being inside a noisy gym.  Or I'll do yoga at home in my cozy environment.  I'm happy as a clam.  ? 

Speaking of social activities, my coworkers invited me to go across the border to a casino after work this Friday.  I agreed to go.  I don't gamble, but it's a night out with a couple of people that I get along with at work.  Why the heck not?  I don't want to spend my money gambling, so I'll put in a $20 bill, and watch them play.  The environment may be a bit noisy too, so I am preparing myself for this, and expect myself to require more time to recuperate afterwards.  

 

I love how balanced you are and how aware you are with your emotions and mentality. This is something I've been developing for quite some time and I really appreciate reading your introspection. 

Not many people here are introspective and honest about it and I feel that's why they relapse with gaming addiction. I'm not trying to look down on them either. I just think you need to make a concerted effort to understand yourself, why you game, and why you act certain ways. 

I appreciate it!

Your hobbies seem correct. I think you're off to the right approach. Keep experimenting and you know you'll be ok based on your self awareness. 

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@BooksandTrees.  I admire that you are out there dating, to be honest.  Whether you choose the online method or meeting women in a natural environment.  I haven't been on a date in seven years.  The last date I had, well, it was rather weird.  All he did was talk about his truck!  lol.

My last two boyfriends I met in a natural environment;  school.  My workplace is 90% female, and either I'm not attracted to my male coworkers, or they are already in a relationship. Pickings are pretty slim!  lol

So, I'm contemplating about what to do  to improve my chances at finding a life partner.

First things first, though.  I pretty much had to pull myself out of my home-body shell, and get accustomed to socializing again.  That's the main foundation.  I hope to continue down this path, and eventually start dating again.  

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Quit Gaming

  • Day 8
  • no urge to game
  • still miss my online gaming friends, however

Sleep

  • went to sleep at 12:30 a.m.
  • woke up at 7:30 a.m.
  • 7 hours sleep

Exercise

  • nada

Reading

  • reviewed journal articles related to my work, have to do a presentation next week
  • read for about 20 minutes

Computer use

  • worked from home this morning to complete a project that I'll be presenting at work next week
  • 1 hour researching journal articles online, used my association's journal database

Hobbies

  • no time

Social Activities

  • Will be going to a casino tonight with two coworkers, I'll post later about the event.

Other Activities

  •  

Positive Thoughts

  • I'm grateful for sleep.

Random Thoughts

I wish I had more time to write, but I've got to get going.  Today I had to visit a client in the community for follow-up, so I was able to jet back home and do some charting.  I always feel frazzled on Fridays because I'm in and out of the office, driving to clients' homes, and then back at the office in the afternoon.  

I'm looking forward to socializing with my coworkers tonight.  I'm not a gambler at all, and they wanted to go to a casino.  I'm wincing right now just imagining how much money they'll throw into those machines.  One of my coworkers has been gambling for many years, whereas the other coworker and I are pretty 'green' at it.  That's not an activity that I'd like to pursue in my future.  I'm going because I get along with them at work, and we haven't hung out at all outside of the workplace environment.  Maybe next time, I'll invite them over for dinner to watch a movie, or something.  

Anyway, I gotta go!  I'll post more about tonight's events tomorrow.  

Blessings to you all in your road to success!

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2 hours ago, CornishGameHen said:

@BooksandTrees.  I admire that you are out there dating, to be honest.  Whether you choose the online method or meeting women in a natural environment.  I haven't been on a date in seven years.  The last date I had, well, it was rather weird.  All he did was talk about his truck!  lol.

My last two boyfriends I met in a natural environment;  school.  My workplace is 90% female, and either I'm not attracted to my male coworkers, or they are already in a relationship. Pickings are pretty slim!  lol

So, I'm contemplating about what to do  to improve my chances at finding a life partner.

First things first, though.  I pretty much had to pull myself out of my home-body shell, and get accustomed to socializing again.  That's the main foundation.  I hope to continue down this path, and eventually start dating again.  

I'd suggest never dating a coworker as it will lead to one of if not both of you leaving your office. 

I'd try to meet someone while doing a meetup hobby or have friends take pictures of you during your hobbies and get a few photos of you. One is a good photo of just you from the waist up looking directly at the camera, a couple hobby ones, a travel one, and one with friends. That's my suggestion if you ever decide to try it eventually. 

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I had a nice time with my two coworkers last night.  We went across the border to do some shopping at a craft store, had dinner at a restaurant, and headed over to a nearby casino.  This is the type of group I don't mind hanging out with.  It's a small gathering, unlike a large group wherein I'd feel completely zoned out due to too much going on at once.  It's like being at work;  there is a busyness or a buzzing atmosphere that doesn't seem to stop.  Whereas if I'm with a smaller group of people, two to three at the max, it just feels more intimate and relaxed.  

The car ride was a good opportunity to talk about other things besides work.  We were all just excited to 'get away' for a while from the daily grind.  They shared a few things with me about their lives which struck me as a surprise.  You don't really know people until they confide in you about personal troubles.  I sat and listened, didn't give too much advice.  I think that's all they really needed, was somebody that would listen and not barge in on their venting.  I totally understood and nodded when needed.  

So after the car ride, we got out and went to a craft and home decoration store.  It was cool.  Never been there before.  We didn't spend too much time there, probably about twenty minutes to get some basic Halloween and Christmas decorations.  I love craft stores.  They give me so much inspiration.  I didn't spend much at all.  I bought a yard of fabric for a Christmas gift project, and...yup, another ball of fingering yarn to make a shawl!  In total, it came to about sixteen dollars.  This year, I've really curtailed my shopping and only buy things that I would really need.  Especially in craft stores; it's so easy to go wild with spending.  So, sixteen dollars spent wasn't gonna break the bank!

After the brief shopping break, we went to a restaurant, and chatted some more as we ate our food.  Good times.  ?  

Then we jetted off to the local casino.  

No offense to those who frequent casinos, but I could not stand it.  This part of the night wasn't too pleasant for me, in regards to sensory input.  Dang, there was so much second-hand smoke.  Everything reeked of smoke.  I swear, my throat was so dry and my voice became raspy.  I was gagging for air, and had to step outside every so often despite it being cold and rainy.  The music was loud, and it was packed.  

I decided to be a good sport and play a few slot machines.  It was a constant battle to find any source of tolerance to the smoky air, the noise inside, a dry throat, and dry eyes.  I felt like a walking dried-up cigarette butt.

Fast forward to SIX hours later!  My coworkers were still gambling somewhere in the casino, and I had just lost a chunk of $70 that I dared to put into those damn machines!  Never again.  Heck, $70 could have paid for my gas, plus a carton of milk, eggs, cheese, and meat.  Dang!  This was not fun at all.  I approached my coworkers one at a time, as they were on different slot machines.  But I swear, they had this dazed look in their eyes.  Man, slot machines are like video-games on steroids!  This  is one addiction I NEVER want to have.  You're freakin' throwing your money away!!

So, after freakin' six hours in that place, we finally left.  I came home with $130 from a small win, and my coworkers left with nada.  I didn't bother asking them how much money they spent, but I'm pretty sure it was enough to create another wrinkle on their foreheads.  They certainly didn't look happy, and the long car ride home was rather quiet.  After all, it was like 3:55 A.M. in the MORNING, by the time we left the dang place!

Never again.  I will never go to a casino.  It's the pit of HELL.

So, they dropped me home, and I thanked them for the invite.  I said, "Hey maybe next time we can all go see a movie?".  They both nodded and laughed.  The long-time gambler said, "Hon, I coulda seen twenty movies with what I spent in the casino, so yeah sure!".  And that was that!

?

Anyway, I'm looking forward to finishing my sewing project today, and knitting as I watch a movie, or listen to an audio-book.  I totally need my solitary down-time after yesterday's social gathering.  Thank God for the weekend!!!!!  

Blessings to you all, and keep up the good fight.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Signature:   Hello, I am a casual gamer who still enjoys video games.  I do not have an addiction, but I did have to stop playing video games to reassess my life.  I'm happily creating a somewhat balanced lifestyle which will still include gaming on occasion.  But this time I'm focusing on my social needs outside of the realm of computer technology.  I hope this does not discourage people who are addicted.  We are all here to improve our own well-being, to challenge ourselves, and to live a life that we desire to have.  I am doing a 30-day withdrawal from video games and am keeping a journal on GQ too.  Much peace to you all, and blessings!  ? 

Edited by CornishGameHen
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When you have a public journal, you open yourself up to responses that you're not accustomed to.  The reality is that it's the internet.  It's basically a free-for-all.  The really weird thing I've observed is the psycho-analyzing that pops up.  I know people mean well, and are trying to help, but it often comes across as being too intense.  At least that's my perspective.  

I'm not holding that against anyone.  

I think the best thing I can do is to ignore it, or respond with a polite 'thank you'.  

I'll never figure out why people tend to do this.  Most of the time people just want others to relate.  

?

 

 

 

Edited by CornishGameHen
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Hi!!!

So glad to see you are doing well!! I have found this community to be much more compassionate then some of the other forums I have been a part of. Another forum I was on basically said I had an addiction and I needed a mental health professional. They basically just made me feel worse!!!!!

 

I think people pysho analyze truly because they are trying to help. Even if the help is not asked for!!! Everyone has their own perspective and lens thru which they look at the world. ?

 

Sorry about your trip to the casino. I can totally relate. I always felt so out of place when visiting. All the lights and sounds were over stimulating and everyone looked pretty sad. But at least you tried a new experience and now you have learned!!! 

 

I love reading your journal. So proud of you my friend!!! ???

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25 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Hi!!!

So glad to see you are doing well!! I have found this community to be much more compassionate then some of the other forums I have been a part of. Another forum I was on basically said I had an addiction and I needed a mental health professional. They basically just made me feel worse!!!!!

Sorry about your trip to the casino. I can totally relate. I always felt so out of place when visiting. All the lights and sounds were over stimulating and everyone looked pretty sad. But at least you tried a new experience and now you have learned!!! 

I love reading your journal. So proud of you my friend!!! ???

Good to hear from you!!  ?   (((virtual hugs)))

Your energy reminds me so much of my sister!  I love it!!!  I bet if we met in person we'd get along just fine.  ?   

Yeah I'm doing pretty well!  Life is becoming balanced again, and I'm socializing a bit more.  I think I'm content with the level it's at for now.  After my 30 days is up, I won't be posting anymore on this forum.  So far it's been an eye-opening journey and I"m learning more about myself as I go forward.  I'm glad you like reading my journal, though!  

I hear you about the experience on another forum.  Sorry it wasn't very supportive to you.  It's like, "Yeah, I know I have an addiction, Einstein.  Thanks for being super empathetic."  It just makes you feel like an outsider from the group.  

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I agree with @Icandothis that everyone has their own perspective. Everyone is wired differently. I'd say both "feeling alike" - emotional compassion and "thinking alike" - intellectual compassion are ways of relating to others. I'd plant myself firmly into the second realm, but I make sure my comments and insights are put in a manner that I don't give people advice, because everyone absolutely hates unsolicited advice, as I've already found out in my life.

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2 hours ago, Ikar said:

I agree with @Icandothis that everyone has their own perspective. Everyone is wired differently. I'd say both "feeling alike" - emotional compassion and "thinking alike" - intellectual compassion are ways of relating to others. I'd plant myself firmly into the second realm, but I make sure my comments and insights are put in a manner that I don't give people advice, because everyone absolutely hates unsolicited advice, as I've already found out in my life.

Hm.  I never thought about it that way; feeling alike versus thinking alike.  I don't mind people analysing their own lives that way, but it's really off-putting when it's thrown at me.  It's really intense.  Anyway, different strokes for different folks!   

Yeah I hesitate giving people advice when people don't ask for it.  I see that many people just want to vent on the forums.  Advice can be viewed as being told what to do.  

I'm also going to move my introspective writings to my private journal, along with descriptions of my social experiences.  

 

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Quit Gaming

  • Day 10/30
  • no urge to game

Sleep

  • 8.5 hours, went to bed 11:00 p.m., woke up 7:30 a.m.

Exercise

  • started 30 minute interval training at gym in the afternoon

Reading

  • finished reading five more journal articles for workplace presentation, 1.5 hours

Computer use

  • spent most of the day completing power point presentation

Hobbies

  • no time, busy with work at home

Social Activities

  • went to brother and his wife's home for dinner

Positive Thoughts

  • I am grateful for God, my friends from work, and my amazing family.  

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Quit Gaming

  • Day 12
  • no urge to game

Sleep

  • went to bed at 3:00 a.m. yesterday, sick with flu
  • 8 hours sleep, non-interrupted

Exercise

  • nada today, very fatigued, flu

Reading

  • newspaper - 15 minutes
  • 15 minutes sewing manual
  • 30 minutes The Shipping News

Computer use

  • 1 hour documentary Youtube
  • 25 minutes sewing tutorials Youtube

Hobbies

  • 2 hours sewing - finished skirt
  • cooked two meals for the week
  • watered plants
  • baked dessert - chocolate chip cookies and ginger snaps

Social Activities

  • resting day from social stuff

Other Tasks

  • vacuumed house
  • washed dishes
  • laundry washed and folded
  • set up what to wear for work this week and next, matched clothing items and hung them in closet

Positive Thoughts

  • I'm grateful for the wisdom to let go the things that I cannot change

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Hello dear journal,

I felt good completing my sewing project yesterday.  I was sick with the flu but I kept going.  I think I'm addicted to it.  (laughs to self).  Two to three hours later, I finished it.

I've always been a creative person, or at least somebody who likes to make things.  I get that from my dad who is a pretty crafty guy himself.  I derive a great sense of pride and also accomplishment from these sort of projects.  Sometimes I just stare at what I made in awe that I was actually able to do this.  I'm not a fast knitter or sewer either.  I take my time, and make sure that every stitch is done neatly and correctly.  Often, I'd have to redo something if I made the slightest error, especially when knitting.  One stitch off can completely mess up the end-result, as I have regretfully discovered over and over again.  So, attention to detail is foremost.  

And I almost never get bored of my indoor hobbies.  I get into this 'flow-like' state, I think.  It's like I can't wait to complete the project, and each stitch forward is the momentum to keep me going.  It's not instant gratification either.  It's a continuous process that may seem like forever, but there is an end-goal to achieve.  

I also started making a personal blog for my sewing and knitting projects.  I'm so excited about this.  I'll be able to view my projects over time, and assess how much I've improved.  Lately, I have been looking at others' sewing blogs to get some ideas, and also to learn from them.  So many people are newbies to sewing, and I've observed how far they've come with their expertise, and eventually mastery of the craft.  I'm really looking forward to this.  ?

 

 

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