Ikar's Diary

[Ikar]

 14 Aug - 18 Aug:

Had two family meetings on Friday and Saturday - one with my girlfriend's family and the other one with my own. Probably caught a virus on one of those, so we spent the whole Sunday at home just lying around in the flat and talking or watching stuff online. Definitely feeling better today.

On 8/13/2024 at 3:05 PM, Ikar said:

When I turned 21, I quit gaming for good. I had a lot of free time, as I was unemployed at that time. I learnt how to be my own friend, colleague and also boss. I started scheduling my days, started working on rediscovering my hobbies, started looking for work, exercising, reading etc. I made sure my days were meaningful, no matter what they consisted of. When I wanted to work, I worked. When I wanted to relax, I relaxed. When I wanted to go somewhere, I did. In a state of mind like this, having a "work holiday" is superfluous. I have nothing to run away from and I'm already living a content, balanced and sustainable life.

The same is not true for my girlfriend's work-life balance. Her job is boring and passive. She often has nothing to do besides having to sit in an office. Whenever she has holidays (5 weeks, plus public holidays), she wants to get away from it all. Vent all the pent up energy from being passive. Reset and challenge herself physically.

This lead to a clash in our relationship. While traveling/holidays stress me out (as I don't get to do my usual stuff - routines), traveling relaxes her (because she doesn't get to do her usual stuff - at work). She loves to "physically destroy" herself while hiking. I can handle it to an extent, but to do trips like that back-to-back means I get to do exactly nothing "useful" for me, as after such a trip, I don't have the energy to do anything requiring mental effort. This weekend, after one of the trips, I had a headache so bad I couldn't even watch YouTube video.

Maybe it was just bad luck with the headache, but it just really seems I have a bad time whenever I go on holiday with her. I can't care for planning the holiday (as I really don't care), so she plans it, tries to make sure that I can "handle it" and perhaps even enjoy it a bit, something bad always comes up. I'm trying to be a good boyfriend, but I don't know if there's a solution to this problem that also includes going to holidays together.

I found out I was partly wrong. I knew my girlfriend was more active physically/more sports-oriented on the second date we had. Maybe I thought I was too, but needed a little nudge to get me going. Even if I didn't like sport at all, regular exercise is healthy and everyone should do it, so that should be my motivation as well. Anyway, she also told me that she'd like me to be more active in the relationship overall. I took it to heart and I have already planned and did a thing or two. I'm happy that we can be straight with one another.

[Ikar]

19 Aug - 25 Aug:

I visited my doctor on Monday and had one more bad night, because I couldn't sleep, but I got better after that. I'm happy I feel well again.

I went for physiotherapy on Wednesday after... well, after a few years of planning it. I've known the guy for maybe a year, so I decided to just go for it. I got some exercises and I'm looking forward to my next visit this Wednesday.

I also finished the business book, although I will come back to it over the next few days, as there are some things I haven't done/processed yet.

Went for a walk to the nature and an army museum with my girlfriend on Saturday. Also watched a historical film about the 1968 occupation of Czechoslovakia. We went shopping for new shorts and shoes yesterday too.

Gonna do some business work today, as I just have one lesson in the evening and no other obligations.

[BooksandTrees]

On 8/26/2024 at 2:27 AM, Ikar said:

19 Aug - 25 Aug:

I visited my doctor on Monday and had one more bad night, because I couldn't sleep, but I got better after that. I'm happy I feel well again.

I went for physiotherapy on Wednesday after... well, after a few years of planning it. I've known the guy for maybe a year, so I decided to just go for it. I got some exercises and I'm looking forward to my next visit this Wednesday.

I also finished the business book, although I will come back to it over the next few days, as there are some things I haven't done/processed yet.

Went for a walk to the nature and an army museum with my girlfriend on Saturday. Also watched a historical film about the 1968 occupation of Czechoslovakia. We went shopping for new shorts and shoes yesterday too.

Gonna do some business work today, as I just have one lesson in the evening and no other obligations.

Sounds busy in a good way. I'm glad things are getting better from the sleep perspective. I can tell you sleep deprivation is torture. How was the museum? There's a ww2 museum near me I'd like to visit some day. 

[Ikar]

6 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Sounds busy in a good way. I'm glad things are getting better from the sleep perspective. I can tell you sleep deprivation is torture. How was the museum? There's a ww2 museum near me I'd like to visit some day. 

Thanks, I feel much better now. I'm happy my sleeping rhythm is back in order now.

The museum was OK and modern, so it was also quite interactive. It was mostly focused on the region of Czechia I am from. It was "just" OK for me, because I already know/studied a lot about WWII in general and visited other museums, but I still wanted to visit this particular one. My girlfriend was quite angry though, as she felt that a lot of the important context was missing, especially how the Soviets turned from liberators in 1945 to rulers in 1948 and later. This was better depicted in the Polish museum we visited a year or two ago. Over the years, I came to the conclusion that the Soviet regime was almost as equally horrible as the Nazi one. It was a miracle that there was no direct confrontation between the East and the West.

[Ikar]

26 Aug - 31 Aug:

I got new shoes, did some physiotherapeutic exercising, went to workout with other guys, worked on my website development, got more knowledge to exercise better financial self-control, went out to see an improvisation show with my girlfriend, visited my family and met up with friends twice this week.

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Some good news. My girlfriend reunited with a friend who cut contact with her after we started dating. We also cleared up the topic of sports and traveling a bit more. I'm trying to come up with things to organize, plan and do together, though it's not always easy. We're best friends and living together is great.

Incidentally, me just being me, I created one such event. As I wrote above, the job she currently has is not exactly exciting, to put it mildly. It's a local government job, where she is idle for half the working hours. I've known her for long enough to know she needs to do something about it and that she's wasting away there career-wise. I was tough on her about it, perhaps too much, because I made her break down in tears - (this is something I need to be able to handle better in the future; I hardly ever lose my cool in tense situations like this, but I think I can get the message across in a less crude way) - but I think she herself knows she should not go forward with another yearly extension of the contract there. She's a hard worker by nature, but she's lost in what she could potentially do. We came up with a sit-down next week to discuss some possible paths of development. So far, she's already tried a few things, but I want to encourage her further and to help her be more resilient.

[Ikar]

  I'm using the template I used the last time. 26/7/24 - 2/9/24

"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.

I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.

 

Books/Reading articles/Learning:

L: Really the whole month of CELTA. It was intensive. I hope to apply at least a part of it into my lessons.

T: I finished the business book and did extensive work of putting it into practice. I am currently working on improving the financial management of my business.

I wanted to go through the CELTA materials again, but I didn't have time. I at least met with my coursemate twice and discussed it.

There were some opportunities to visit the speaker's club, however I feel the pressure to prepare and rehearse something beforehand and to be honest, I don't want to and can't find time to do that.

Possible direction/goals:

(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.

 

Family:

L: I had a call with my family a few times and some messages, but I didn't see them during my time on the CELTA.

T: I met with my family twice and with my girlfriend's family twice as well. I had two separate meeting with my brother too. I'm currently organizing, planning and mobilizing myself for more work in the grandma's kitchen.  

Spoiler

Since October, the project of my grandma's kitchen has been my responsibility. Some progress has been made, however I know that half a year is just too big of a time-frame to justify. I'm gonna lay out the plan:

Weekend of 11th/12th March: Ask my grandma to give me a "free hand" in the reconstruction of the kitchen. She was hesitant regarding the scope of the reconstruction, which made me hesitant in turn, because I didn't know what to do. I want to convince her that she has nothing to worry about and that the whole operation will be fast.

Weeks 11 and 12:

Consult my father and brother as to the design of the kitchen and use the IKEA kitchen planner to help me out. Show my grandma the plan for the kitchen at the end of week 12 and get a green light.

Weeks 13 and 14:

Go to IKEA to get the furniture and other shops for linoleum and other smaller stuff. There's no need for new electronic appliances, so there's no need to get involved with electrical thingies. Transport the furniture to my grandma's flat.

Weeks 14 and 15:

Plan a weekend with my father/brother to help out with the reconstruction. Removing old furniture, a bit of demolition, painting, putting in the new furniture. Get it done well and ASAP.

NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.

Possible direction/goals:

Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.

Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.

 

Business/English:

L: I am 99% safe to say that I am a CELTA qualified tutor at this point. I'll probably cancel the rest of the agency courses from September, but I'll see in August.

T: I started some important projects in August, among them are: setting higher prices, contacting old students with offers for re-engagement and the website improvement project. We'll see how they go.

From the numbers below, it's clear that I didn't have many language school courses during the summer. Many companies cut language school courses during the summer completely. For my financial stability over the summer, it is really better when I have my own courses, because individual people only cancel the lessons when they are on holiday (2 or 3 weeks, but not 2 or 3 whole months like companies).

I even got a pay raise in one of the language schools, but the gap is just too big at this point. I can earn 20-35% more on my own even on their best paid courses.

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11 (15) hours last week in August: Category A 91% (68); B 0% (5); C 0% (0); D 9% (17); E 0% (10). Brackets are % values from previous month/week.

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I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses:

a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging

b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group)

c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day)

d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality

e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality

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NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.

Possible direction/goals:

With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.

Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.

Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.

Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. - check university offers after CELTA

Create a learning plan for myself. - going to CELTA

Go through "lecturer academy" materials.

Networking and business events.

Past projects:

Questionnaire - June 2023

Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.

Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).

Got minor pay raises from language schools. - summer 2023

Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.

Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.

Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".

Lecturer academy Brona. - fall 2023

Sample business contract on my website. - update the web with new ideas before July

Google sheets system for students. - update it

Questionnaire part 2 - January 2024

Canceled agency courses - March

Taxes - April/May

60/55 minutes online transition - April/May

Questionnaire part 3 - June

CELTA - July

Contacted old students with offers - Aug/Sep 2024

Raised prices - from Sep

Website improvement project - from Aug

 

Exercise/Movement:

L: None of that this July. I went for a few walks, but no heavier exercise. I might want to set up a GP's periodical examination soon though.

T: I was more active this month, going for trips with my girlfriend and cycling occasionally. I also started going to physiotherapy and visited my GP, everything seems to be OK.

NOT: I don't want to become fat.

Possible direction/goals:

I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.

Keep in shape.

 

Blogging:

L: I actually got a spur of inspiration and wrote an article in two days. Wow 😄 

I had an idea for an article and I wanted to write it, but then I did something more urgent and I haven't had the time since. Oh well.

T: I had another burst of inspiration some day in the late evening and managed to push out an article in about an hour and something.

Possible direction/goals:

Find a suitable UI/web template.

Set up emailing for subs.

Post two articles a month.

Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones.

Finish articles in concepts.

 

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What to do if I am bored?

Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters

Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging

 

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Additional thoughts/activities:

My porn use got better in August, but it's still rather haphazard.

I'm now more open to working abroad now after taking the CELTA. I also met many new and interesting people and managed to meet a few older friends.

 

My priorities for the next six weeks:

Prepare for the CELTA English teaching course that starts in six weeks. - done

I want to work on the questionnaire part 3 in May/June as well. - done

Reconstruct my grandma's kitchen.

 

My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.

This month, I did these cool activities: going for trips with my girlfriend, watching films with my girlfriend, meeting with friends, playing billiard, going to the shooting range, writing a blog post, working on my business, starting physiotherapy, going out with my brother twice, finishing the business book.

 

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Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:

Main must-have plans for 2024:

Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.

Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.

Move in with my girlfriend in April.

Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.

Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:

Re-start my financial blog in February.

Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.

Habits:

Stop watching porn (again).

Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.

Establish flossing at least once a week.

Exercise regularly.

Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.

It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

[Ikar]

3 Sep - 7 Sep:

The last few days have been tough on me intellectually and mentally.

I have taken some steps towards better money management in my business (and in my life as well). I haven't made terrible decisions or spent money stupidly, but I have to rethink the allocation rather. It's mostly a question of planning, but it's still a challenge.

It's not easy to write this, but I don't know whether my girlfriend and I will be together. I'd love to, and I will absolutely hate it if we split, but there's obviously a limit. Traveling and sports are such a large part of her life that even with effort from my side, I don't know if I can keep up. I'm not writing this to blame her (or perhaps to show that my choice of a girlfriend was poor), but to show the differences. Our relationship is built on such a tremendous amount of respect and tolerance that I think is really without many parallels in today's world. She motivates me to do more exercise though; I generally cycle, run or workout at least once a week for an hour or so, I also started physiotherapy and got shoes that by themselves improve my posture.

On the bright side, she started looking for a potential new job and I'm happy to assist her with that, even if nothing comes out of it. She feels stagnant and bored in her current one, although she's more unhappy about the above. We came up with a plan though and we'll try to find a compromise.