Ikar's Diary

[Ikar]

 14 Aug - 18 Aug:

Had two family meetings on Friday and Saturday - one with my girlfriend's family and the other one with my own. Probably caught a virus on one of those, so we spent the whole Sunday at home just lying around in the flat and talking or watching stuff online. Definitely feeling better today.

On 8/13/2024 at 3:05 PM, Ikar said:

When I turned 21, I quit gaming for good. I had a lot of free time, as I was unemployed at that time. I learnt how to be my own friend, colleague and also boss. I started scheduling my days, started working on rediscovering my hobbies, started looking for work, exercising, reading etc. I made sure my days were meaningful, no matter what they consisted of. When I wanted to work, I worked. When I wanted to relax, I relaxed. When I wanted to go somewhere, I did. In a state of mind like this, having a "work holiday" is superfluous. I have nothing to run away from and I'm already living a content, balanced and sustainable life.

The same is not true for my girlfriend's work-life balance. Her job is boring and passive. She often has nothing to do besides having to sit in an office. Whenever she has holidays (5 weeks, plus public holidays), she wants to get away from it all. Vent all the pent up energy from being passive. Reset and challenge herself physically.

This lead to a clash in our relationship. While traveling/holidays stress me out (as I don't get to do my usual stuff - routines), traveling relaxes her (because she doesn't get to do her usual stuff - at work). She loves to "physically destroy" herself while hiking. I can handle it to an extent, but to do trips like that back-to-back means I get to do exactly nothing "useful" for me, as after such a trip, I don't have the energy to do anything requiring mental effort. This weekend, after one of the trips, I had a headache so bad I couldn't even watch YouTube video.

Maybe it was just bad luck with the headache, but it just really seems I have a bad time whenever I go on holiday with her. I can't care for planning the holiday (as I really don't care), so she plans it, tries to make sure that I can "handle it" and perhaps even enjoy it a bit, something bad always comes up. I'm trying to be a good boyfriend, but I don't know if there's a solution to this problem that also includes going to holidays together.

I found out I was partly wrong. I knew my girlfriend was more active physically/more sports-oriented on the second date we had. Maybe I thought I was too, but needed a little nudge to get me going. Even if I didn't like sport at all, regular exercise is healthy and everyone should do it, so that should be my motivation as well. Anyway, she also told me that she'd like me to be more active in the relationship overall. I took it to heart and I have already planned and did a thing or two. I'm happy that we can be straight with one another.

[Ikar]

19 Aug - 25 Aug:

I visited my doctor on Monday and had one more bad night, because I couldn't sleep, but I got better after that. I'm happy I feel well again.

I went for physiotherapy on Wednesday after... well, after a few years of planning it. I've known the guy for maybe a year, so I decided to just go for it. I got some exercises and I'm looking forward to my next visit this Wednesday.

I also finished the business book, although I will come back to it over the next few days, as there are some things I haven't done/processed yet.

Went for a walk to the nature and an army museum with my girlfriend on Saturday. Also watched a historical film about the 1968 occupation of Czechoslovakia. We went shopping for new shorts and shoes yesterday too.

Gonna do some business work today, as I just have one lesson in the evening and no other obligations.

[BooksandTrees]

On 8/26/2024 at 2:27 AM, Ikar said:

19 Aug - 25 Aug:

I visited my doctor on Monday and had one more bad night, because I couldn't sleep, but I got better after that. I'm happy I feel well again.

I went for physiotherapy on Wednesday after... well, after a few years of planning it. I've known the guy for maybe a year, so I decided to just go for it. I got some exercises and I'm looking forward to my next visit this Wednesday.

I also finished the business book, although I will come back to it over the next few days, as there are some things I haven't done/processed yet.

Went for a walk to the nature and an army museum with my girlfriend on Saturday. Also watched a historical film about the 1968 occupation of Czechoslovakia. We went shopping for new shorts and shoes yesterday too.

Gonna do some business work today, as I just have one lesson in the evening and no other obligations.

Sounds busy in a good way. I'm glad things are getting better from the sleep perspective. I can tell you sleep deprivation is torture. How was the museum? There's a ww2 museum near me I'd like to visit some day. 

[Ikar]

6 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

Sounds busy in a good way. I'm glad things are getting better from the sleep perspective. I can tell you sleep deprivation is torture. How was the museum? There's a ww2 museum near me I'd like to visit some day. 

Thanks, I feel much better now. I'm happy my sleeping rhythm is back in order now.

The museum was OK and modern, so it was also quite interactive. It was mostly focused on the region of Czechia I am from. It was "just" OK for me, because I already know/studied a lot about WWII in general and visited other museums, but I still wanted to visit this particular one. My girlfriend was quite angry though, as she felt that a lot of the important context was missing, especially how the Soviets turned from liberators in 1945 to rulers in 1948 and later. This was better depicted in the Polish museum we visited a year or two ago. Over the years, I came to the conclusion that the Soviet regime was almost as equally horrible as the Nazi one. It was a miracle that there was no direct confrontation between the East and the West.

[Ikar]

26 Aug - 31 Aug:

I got new shoes, did some physiotherapeutic exercising, went to workout with other guys, worked on my website development, got more knowledge to exercise better financial self-control, went out to see an improvisation show with my girlfriend, visited my family and met up with friends twice this week.

---

Some good news. My girlfriend reunited with a friend who cut contact with her after we started dating. We also cleared up the topic of sports and traveling a bit more. I'm trying to come up with things to organize, plan and do together, though it's not always easy. We're best friends and living together is great.

Incidentally, me just being me, I created one such event. As I wrote above, the job she currently has is not exactly exciting, to put it mildly. It's a local government job, where she is idle for half the working hours. I've known her for long enough to know she needs to do something about it and that she's wasting away there career-wise. I was tough on her about it, perhaps too much, because I made her break down in tears - (this is something I need to be able to handle better in the future; I hardly ever lose my cool in tense situations like this, but I think I can get the message across in a less crude way) - but I think she herself knows she should not go forward with another yearly extension of the contract there. She's a hard worker by nature, but she's lost in what she could potentially do. We came up with a sit-down next week to discuss some possible paths of development. So far, she's already tried a few things, but I want to encourage her further and to help her be more resilient.

[Ikar]

  I'm using the template I used the last time. 26/7/24 - 2/9/24

"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.

I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.

 

Books/Reading articles/Learning:

L: Really the whole month of CELTA. It was intensive. I hope to apply at least a part of it into my lessons.

T: I finished the business book and did extensive work of putting it into practice. I am currently working on improving the financial management of my business.

I wanted to go through the CELTA materials again, but I didn't have time. I at least met with my coursemate twice and discussed it.

There were some opportunities to visit the speaker's club, however I feel the pressure to prepare and rehearse something beforehand and to be honest, I don't want to and can't find time to do that.

Possible direction/goals:

(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.

 

Family:

L: I had a call with my family a few times and some messages, but I didn't see them during my time on the CELTA.

T: I met with my family twice and with my girlfriend's family twice as well. I had two separate meeting with my brother too. I'm currently organizing, planning and mobilizing myself for more work in the grandma's kitchen.  

Spoiler

Since October, the project of my grandma's kitchen has been my responsibility. Some progress has been made, however I know that half a year is just too big of a time-frame to justify. I'm gonna lay out the plan:

Weekend of 11th/12th March: Ask my grandma to give me a "free hand" in the reconstruction of the kitchen. She was hesitant regarding the scope of the reconstruction, which made me hesitant in turn, because I didn't know what to do. I want to convince her that she has nothing to worry about and that the whole operation will be fast.

Weeks 11 and 12:

Consult my father and brother as to the design of the kitchen and use the IKEA kitchen planner to help me out. Show my grandma the plan for the kitchen at the end of week 12 and get a green light.

Weeks 13 and 14:

Go to IKEA to get the furniture and other shops for linoleum and other smaller stuff. There's no need for new electronic appliances, so there's no need to get involved with electrical thingies. Transport the furniture to my grandma's flat.

Weeks 14 and 15:

Plan a weekend with my father/brother to help out with the reconstruction. Removing old furniture, a bit of demolition, painting, putting in the new furniture. Get it done well and ASAP.

NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.

Possible direction/goals:

Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.

Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.

 

Business/English:

L: I am 99% safe to say that I am a CELTA qualified tutor at this point. I'll probably cancel the rest of the agency courses from September, but I'll see in August.

T: I started some important projects in August, among them are: setting higher prices, contacting old students with offers for re-engagement and the website improvement project. We'll see how they go.

From the numbers below, it's clear that I didn't have many language school courses during the summer. Many companies cut language school courses during the summer completely. For my financial stability over the summer, it is really better when I have my own courses, because individual people only cancel the lessons when they are on holiday (2 or 3 weeks, but not 2 or 3 whole months like companies).

I even got a pay raise in one of the language schools, but the gap is just too big at this point. I can earn 20-35% more on my own even on their best paid courses.

-

11 (15) hours last week in August: Category A 91% (68); B 0% (5); C 0% (0); D 9% (17); E 0% (10). Brackets are % values from previous month/week.

-

I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses:

a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging

b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group)

c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day)

d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality

e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality

-

NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.

Possible direction/goals:

With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.

Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.

Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.

Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. - check university offers after CELTA

Create a learning plan for myself. - going to CELTA

Go through "lecturer academy" materials.

Networking and business events.

Past projects:

Questionnaire - June 2023

Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.

Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).

Got minor pay raises from language schools. - summer 2023

Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.

Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.

Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".

Lecturer academy Brona. - fall 2023

Sample business contract on my website. - update the web with new ideas before July

Google sheets system for students. - update it

Questionnaire part 2 - January 2024

Canceled agency courses - March

Taxes - April/May

60/55 minutes online transition - April/May

Questionnaire part 3 - June

CELTA - July

Contacted old students with offers - Aug/Sep 2024

Raised prices - from Sep

Website improvement project - from Aug

 

Exercise/Movement:

L: None of that this July. I went for a few walks, but no heavier exercise. I might want to set up a GP's periodical examination soon though.

T: I was more active this month, going for trips with my girlfriend and cycling occasionally. I also started going to physiotherapy and visited my GP, everything seems to be OK.

NOT: I don't want to become fat.

Possible direction/goals:

I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.

Keep in shape.

 

Blogging:

L: I actually got a spur of inspiration and wrote an article in two days. Wow 😄 

I had an idea for an article and I wanted to write it, but then I did something more urgent and I haven't had the time since. Oh well.

T: I had another burst of inspiration some day in the late evening and managed to push out an article in about an hour and something.

Possible direction/goals:

Find a suitable UI/web template.

Set up emailing for subs.

Post two articles a month.

Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones.

Finish articles in concepts.

 

---

 

What to do if I am bored?

Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters

Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging

 

---

 

Additional thoughts/activities:

My porn use got better in August, but it's still rather haphazard.

I'm now more open to working abroad now after taking the CELTA. I also met many new and interesting people and managed to meet a few older friends.

 

My priorities for the next six weeks:

Prepare for the CELTA English teaching course that starts in six weeks. - done

I want to work on the questionnaire part 3 in May/June as well. - done

Reconstruct my grandma's kitchen.

 

My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.

This month, I did these cool activities: going for trips with my girlfriend, watching films with my girlfriend, meeting with friends, playing billiard, going to the shooting range, writing a blog post, working on my business, starting physiotherapy, going out with my brother twice, finishing the business book.

 

---

 

Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:

Main must-have plans for 2024:

Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.

Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.

Move in with my girlfriend in April.

Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.

Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:

Re-start my financial blog in February.

Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.

Habits:

Stop watching porn (again).

Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.

Establish flossing at least once a week.

Exercise regularly.

Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.

It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

[Ikar]

3 Sep - 7 Sep:

The last few days have been tough on me intellectually and mentally.

I have taken some steps towards better money management in my business (and in my life as well). I haven't made terrible decisions or spent money stupidly, but I have to rethink the allocation rather. It's mostly a question of planning, but it's still a challenge.

It's not easy to write this, but I don't know whether my girlfriend and I will be together. I'd love to, and I will absolutely hate it if we split, but there's obviously a limit. Traveling and sports are such a large part of her life that even with effort from my side, I don't know if I can keep up. I'm not writing this to blame her (or perhaps to show that my choice of a girlfriend was poor), but to show the differences. Our relationship is built on such a tremendous amount of respect and tolerance that I think is really without many parallels in today's world. She motivates me to do more exercise though; I generally cycle, run or workout at least once a week for an hour or so, I also started physiotherapy and got shoes that by themselves improve my posture.

On the bright side, she started looking for a potential new job and I'm happy to assist her with that, even if nothing comes out of it. She feels stagnant and bored in her current one, although she's more unhappy about the above. We came up with a plan though and we'll try to find a compromise.

[Mohammad]

Hi Ikar, 

I just came back to game quitters after a couple years and I quickly remember your name. You are such a motivation for me. May I ask how long have you been game free?

How do you keep yourself accountable and committed to this? I appreciate some piece of advice. 

I can completely relate to your situation on your relationship. In fact, I am getting separated from my wife after 12 years of married life with a six year old boy. It is not easy and I am not 100% sure if this is the right choice, but we could not reach a compromise in our relationship. 

 

You mentioned that you cannot keep up with her sport and travelling. May I ask in what sense? You don't want to travel as much or play sport, or that it is out of your budget and distracts you from you financial goals?

 

Regards, 

Moe

[Ikar]

2 hours ago, Mohammad said:

Hi Ikar, 

I just came back to game quitters after a couple years and I quickly remember your name. You are such a motivation for me. May I ask how long have you been game free?

How do you keep yourself accountable and committed to this? I appreciate some piece of advice. 

I can completely relate to your situation on your relationship. In fact, I am getting separated from my wife after 12 years of married life with a six year old boy. It is not easy and I am not 100% sure if this is the right choice, but we could not reach a compromise in our relationship. 

 

You mentioned that you cannot keep up with her sport and travelling. May I ask in what sense? You don't want to travel as much or play sport, or that it is out of your budget and distracts you from you financial goals?

 

Regards, 

Moe

Hello Mohammad, thanks for your praise 😄 

I really haven't gamed since 21st April 2019. That said, I had a few occasions where I randomly came across a random browser game or watched an old stream of mine, but those are really isolated events.

@BooksandTrees once said that after a certain point, he stopped caring how many days has it been since he gamed and that he stopped counting them. I came to the same realization. Games are not something I instinctively think about. When I quit, I really saw it as a closed chapter of my life. I understood why I did it and moved on to activities that were better for my needs. In fact, I never even blocked Steam or did anything else than to uninstall the games. I just knew I was through and knew I just needed to do something else.

I'm sorry to read about your separation. I think it's OK with sport; sure, she does more exercise, but I rationally know it's good for me to do more sport. I think it would be OK to exercise twice or thrice a week instead of my rather random once a week now. She also motivates me to move more. Plus it's something I can opt out of easily, if I don't have time because of work, feel bad etc.

Traveling is a more complicated. It's just not as fulfilling to me and I don't see much of a point in it to do it as often as she'd like. It's not about time or money in this case; I'm happy to spend the time with her and I have enough money saved up to not work at all for a few years, plus the travels she comes up with are fairly cheap. The main issue is that I feel as if every time we go and walk/hike somewhere, I start feeling physically ill. Maybe I stop drinking or eating enough, get tired faster than her... I really don't know. But it's really hard to keep a smile if I get a bad headache, which I got while on holiday hiking, which I did mostly because of her. And obviously when we're out in a different place/country, I can't just pack up and go home to take care of myself. The argument then becomes "Why be together then?", if I can't travel with her even to a minimal extent (she sometimes travels with others too). I don't think it's an entirely fair argument, as I don't push her into my hobbies/interests either, but I understand the fact that there is a point where the partners are just too different. I'm still willing to keep the communication open and perhaps the next two trips with her will be OK, we'll see 🙂 

[Mohammad]

19 hours ago, Ikar said:

Hello Mohammad, thanks for your praise 😄 

I really haven't gamed since 21st April 2019. That said, I had a few occasions where I randomly came across a random browser game or watched an old stream of mine, but those are really isolated events.

@BooksandTrees once said that after a certain point, he stopped caring how many days has it been since he gamed and that he stopped counting them. I came to the same realization. Games are not something I instinctively think about. When I quit, I really saw it as a closed chapter of my life. I understood why I did it and moved on to activities that were better for my needs. In fact, I never even blocked Steam or did anything else than to uninstall the games. I just knew I was through and knew I just needed to do something else.

I'm sorry to read about your separation. I think it's OK with sport; sure, she does more exercise, but I rationally know it's good for me to do more sport. I think it would be OK to exercise twice or thrice a week instead of my rather random once a week now. She also motivates me to move more. Plus it's something I can opt out of easily, if I don't have time because of work, feel bad etc.

Traveling is a more complicated. It's just not as fulfilling to me and I don't see much of a point in it to do it as often as she'd like. It's not about time or money in this case; I'm happy to spend the time with her and I have enough money saved up to not work at all for a few years, plus the travels she comes up with are fairly cheap. The main issue is that I feel as if every time we go and walk/hike somewhere, I start feeling physically ill. Maybe I stop drinking or eating enough, get tired faster than her... I really don't know. But it's really hard to keep a smile if I get a bad headache, which I got while on holiday hiking, which I did mostly because of her. And obviously when we're out in a different place/country, I can't just pack up and go home to take care of myself. The argument then becomes "Why be together then?", if I can't travel with her even to a minimal extent (she sometimes travels with others too). I don't think it's an entirely fair argument, as I don't push her into my hobbies/interests either, but I understand the fact that there is a point where the partners are just too different. I'm still willing to keep the communication open and perhaps the next two trips with her will be OK, we'll see 🙂 

It has been a while. I am wondering why you keep journaling even though you are not concerned with gaming anymore. Is it just a habit, or do you find it as an essential part of your game-free life?
You mentioned you felt physically ill when you went on a hike on holiday. What was the elevation gain and distance? I am trying to understand the situation. You don't have to stay in a relationship if you are not happy. Did you have a conversation with her about all of this?
I am separated after 12 years of marriage with a six-year-old. We should have moved on way earlier in life, but we tried to stay together and wasted so much of our lives. 
Making no decision is making a decision, so try to bring clarity to your life and make sure you know if you want or do not want to stay with her. 

 

 

[Ikar]

3 hours ago, Mohammad said:

It has been a while. I am wondering why you keep journaling even though you are not concerned with gaming anymore. Is it just a habit, or do you find it as an essential part of your game-free life?

There are more aspects to it now. I just always drop in after a few days to reflect on what is new in my life. I also have monthly reports, which help me reflect in a more general way and plan for the future. On top of that, I also keep an eye out on spam on the forum and ban bots.

3 hours ago, Mohammad said:

You mentioned you felt physically ill when you went on a hike on holiday. What was the elevation gain and distance? I am trying to understand the situation. You don't have to stay in a relationship if you are not happy. Did you have a conversation with her about all of this?
I am separated after 12 years of marriage with a six-year-old. We should have moved on way earlier in life, but we tried to stay together and wasted so much of our lives. 
Making no decision is making a decision, so try to bring clarity to your life and make sure you know if you want or do not want to stay with her. 

I don't know for sure. I wrote: "Maybe I stop drinking or eating enough, get tired faster than her... I really don't know." We talked about it already and that's why she started going to trips with others too, so it's not all on me to satisfy her traveling/nature hiking needs.

But really aside from this, there's no other big challenge that would make us separate. We can manage all the practical aspects well, always come to an agreement and I can say my girlfriend makes my life better and she even makes me a better person 🙂 

[Mohammad]

16 hours ago, Ikar said:

There are more aspects to it now. I just always drop in after a few days to reflect on what is new in my life. I also have monthly reports, which help me reflect in a more general way and plan for the future. On top of that, I also keep an eye out on spam on the forum and ban bots.

I don't know for sure. I wrote: "Maybe I stop drinking or eating enough, get tired faster than her... I really don't know." We talked about it already and that's why she started going to trips with others too, so it's not all on me to satisfy her traveling/nature hiking needs.

But really aside from this, there's no other big challenge that would make us separate. We can manage all the practical aspects well, always come to an agreement and I can say my girlfriend makes my life better and she even makes me a better person 🙂 

I see. It seems that you are happy in your relationship other than feeling the pressure to follow her hobbies. Being in a healthy relationship requries lots of compromise from both sides and continued efforts to improve things for the better. I hope you find the balance between the two. good luck 

[Ikar]

8 Sep - 13 Sep:

It had been a busy, but otherwise uninteresting week. I put together the final parts of my revised financial plan, went for a fun with my friend, spent time with my girlfriend, went out with friends. I had many lessons and admin-related stuff.

[Ikar]

14 Sep - 19 Sep:

My friend and I put some good work into the reconstruction of my grandma's kitchen and managed to achieve some pre-final results, so some of the shelves are on the wall already. Spent some time with my girlfriend and friends and work. Nothing special.

 

[Ikar]

20 Sep - 26 Sep:

I did some admin stuff, put again some work into the reconstruction of my grandma's kitchen with my friend and cycled at the weekend to visit my family. I also spent a lot of time with my girlfriend, going to seminars and watching films.

I had a call with an experienced English lecturer who works for one of the language schools and who did a few observations. I wanted her advice on some language-related jobs that she works, how to get into them, some tips for beginners really. We randomly started talking about marketing after that, but I was sort of surprised that her business know-how was lacking. It was a reminder for me to take advice from people only in those areas that they are good at.

[Ikar]

27 Sep - 2 Oct:

I went running twice with my girlfriend this week. I met up with a few of the guys who used to live at the dorms as well. I've been busy with learning new stuff professionally - reading and chatting with colleagues, as well as with some writing for my website. I also managed to check out some Mememan comics/videos after a long time 😄

[BooksandTrees]

12 hours ago, Ikar said:

27 Sep - 2 Oct:

I went running twice with my girlfriend this week. I met up with a few of the guys who used to live at the dorms as well. I've been busy with learning new stuff professionally - reading and chatting with colleagues, as well as with some writing for my website. I also managed to check out some Mememan comics/videos after a long time 😄

I always found it interesting how my friend circle evolved from college to professional life. Have you noticed any swings?

[Ikar]

4 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I always found it interesting how my friend circle evolved from college to professional life. Have you noticed any swings?

Definitely. I came to the university knowing next to nobody. I didn't have many childhood friends and the guys from the army didn't live in my hometown. Being at the uni/dorm exposed me to many different people and over time I realized which relationships suit me the best. My primary friends still come from the university background, but I've met a lot of new/interesting people over the last two-three years, be it through business (business partners or students) or through hobbies. I also think students are a big part of my social life. I even meet with my former students sometimes, if I feel we connected on a more personal level during the lessons. How did it change for you after college?

[Ikar]

3 Oct - 6 Oct:

I spent the weekend out with my girlfriend on a trip to another city. The weather was bad, but I think we managed it well and had a good time overall.

[Ikar]

I've been sitting here for about half an hour, wondering what I am going to write. Truth is, I already wrote it all above on September 8, so there's no point in repeating myself. I however do think the situation improved since then; I do more sport, the sex life is better and the trips this month went well, including the one at the weekend. It's OK to have a shit day in a relationship every now and then. There's not much to write/think about when it goes well after all 😄 

[Ikar]

I'm using the template I used the last time. 2/9/24 - 8/10/24

"L" will stand for the (last) plan/notes for this term. "T" will stand for done this term.

I added "Future goals/direction" to better reflect on the things I am trying to do and to add specificity. I will copy it and stick it somewhere where I can see it to remind myself whenever I feel aimless. I will also use different colors: blue for newly added goals/habits, green for completed/successful, orange for ongoing/some progress and red for ones I haven't worked on in that period.

 

Books/Reading articles/Learning:

L: I finished the business book and did extensive work of putting it into practice. I am currently working on improving the financial management of my business.

I wanted to go through the CELTA materials again, but I didn't have time. I at least met with my coursemate twice and discussed it.

There were some opportunities to visit the speaker's club, however I feel the pressure to prepare and rehearse something beforehand and to be honest, I don't want to and can't find time to do that.

T: I didn't borrow any books this month, because unfortunately the library is in reconstruction. They should open it in a few weeks though.

I however do think I made good progress in educating myself through chats, meetings and Reddit with other English lecturers. I feel more confident at what I do and how I do it and that's a good feeling to have.

Possible direction/goals:

(Borrow) and read one book until the next monthly report.

 

Family:

L: I met with my family twice and with my girlfriend's family twice as well. I had two separate meeting with my brother too. I'm currently organizing, planning and mobilizing myself for more work in the grandma's kitchen.  

T: My friend, my girlfriend and I made significant progress in the installation of the cabinets. The upper part is pretty much done and the lower cabinets are waiting to be installed. We're more than half-way through the project (including the planning - mostly done by my brother and father) and I'm very happy thanks to that. The installation of the lower cabinets will be more challenging, as we also need to deal with several pipes and the sink, but I'm confident we'll manage it.

Spoiler

Since October, the project of my grandma's kitchen has been my responsibility. Some progress has been made, however I know that half a year is just too big of a time-frame to justify. I'm gonna lay out the plan:

Weekend of 11th/12th March: Ask my grandma to give me a "free hand" in the reconstruction of the kitchen. She was hesitant regarding the scope of the reconstruction, which made me hesitant in turn, because I didn't know what to do. I want to convince her that she has nothing to worry about and that the whole operation will be fast.

Weeks 11 and 12:

Consult my father and brother as to the design of the kitchen and use the IKEA kitchen planner to help me out. Show my grandma the plan for the kitchen at the end of week 12 and get a green light.

Weeks 13 and 14:

Go to IKEA to get the furniture and other shops for linoleum and other smaller stuff. There's no need for new electronic appliances, so there's no need to get involved with electrical thingies. Transport the furniture to my grandma's flat.

Weeks 14 and 15:

Plan a weekend with my father/brother to help out with the reconstruction. Removing old furniture, a bit of demolition, painting, putting in the new furniture. Get it done well and ASAP.

NOT: I don't want to get alienated from my family.

Possible direction/goals:

Work on getting the new kitchen for my grandma.

Continue work on maintaining the relationships with my family.

 

Business/English:

L: I started some important projects in August, among them are: setting higher prices, contacting old students with offers for re-engagement and the website improvement project. We'll see how they go.

From the numbers below, it's clear that I didn't have many language school courses during the summer. Many companies cut language school courses during the summer completely. For my financial stability over the summer, it is really better when I have my own courses, because individual people only cancel the lessons when they are on holiday (2 or 3 weeks, but not 2 or 3 whole months like companies).

I even got a pay raise in one of the language schools, but the gap is just too big at this point. I can earn 20-35% more on my own even on their best paid courses.

T: I have the CELTA certificate at home now! I also improved my financial planning by implementing new tools. I also worked on writing some of my new website and worked with my web-designer. I wrote about the teaching-philosophy change above.

The good news also is that I won't need the numbers below from the next month. I now officially have only 2-3 hours of lessons for the language schools a week, meaning tracking this metric is has become redundant! It will come down to just 1 hour in November too.

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20 (11) hours last week in August: Category A 81% (91); B 4% (0); C 10% (0); D 5% (9); E 0% (0). Brackets are % values from previous month/week.

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I've done a bit of an analysis of my courses and categorized them based on what they provide me. I earmarked five types of courses:

a) my own - well paid + generally more motivated students (as they pay the courses themselves) + more challenging

b) premium - language school courses paid at a premium compared to my standard LS courses for various reasons (roughly matching the a) group)

c) flexible - courses from LS that don't have a fixed schedule, meaning it's on me if I make time for them or not (though I mostly do, as can they plug the gaps or can start my day)

d) challenging/fun/prospective - standard LS courses with an added quality

e) neither - standard LS courses without any added quality

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NOT: I don't want to have a job that I don't enjoy. I don't want to have a job that is not well paid.

Possible direction/goals:

With my job position and student demand secure, I'm more able and willing to reschedule or even cancel classes in case I want to do something, mainly in the evening and for holidays. I enjoy having this option thoroughly.

Keep classes at a stable 20-25 hours a week.

Keep asking for reviews or recommendations from students.

Look into strategies to become truly self-employed by skipping the agencies in between. - check university offers after CELTA

Create a learning plan for myself. - going to CELTA

Go through "lecturer academy" + CELTA materials.

Networking and business events.

Past projects:

CELTA qualification - July 2023

Questionnaire - June 2023

Fixed logos on my website for better visuals.

Updated the pricing section of my website. Variable/tiered pricing (do in July/August).

Got minor pay raises from language schools. - summer 2023

Did evaluations/testing of my students, if required.

Attended one networking event and one marketing seminar.

Introduced "phone call" classes. Update website/business profiles with "phone calls".

Lecturer academy Brona. - fall 2023

Sample business contract on my website. - update the web with new ideas before July

Google sheets system for students. - update it

Questionnaire part 2 - January 2024

Canceled agency courses - March

Taxes - April/May

60/55 minutes online transition - April/May

Questionnaire part 3 - June

CELTA - July

Contacted old students with offers - Aug/Sep 2024

Raised prices - from Sep

Website improvement project - from Aug

 

Exercise/Movement:

L: I was more active this month, going for trips with my girlfriend and cycling occasionally. I also started going to physiotherapy and visited my GP, everything seems to be OK.

T: I visited the physiotherapist a month ago, but I still do the exercises from time to time, mainly the main three I got during our very first meeting. I can now also say that I exercise once a week, either running with my girlfriend or going to the workout playground with other guys. I also cycled and went for some trips.

NOT: I don't want to become fat.

Possible direction/goals:

I enjoy the fact I do not have to be "actively" dealing with this area of my life, as it's technically a part of my job. I just have to be on lookout if that was to change.

Keep in shape.

 

Blogging:

L: I had another burst of inspiration some day in the late evening and managed to push out an article in about an hour and something.

T: -

Possible direction/goals:

Find a suitable UI/web template.

Set up emailing for subs.

Post two articles a month.

Polish links in articles. Interlink new articles with old ones.

Finish articles in concepts.

 

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What to do if I am bored?

Replacement activities for 1 hour: reading books, cleaning, washing the dishes, reading newsletters

Replacement activities for 2 hours: going for a walk, work on my business, blogging

 

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Additional thoughts/activities:

I'm now more open to working abroad now after taking the CELTA. I also met many new and interesting people and managed to meet a few older friends.

 

My priorities for the next six weeks:

Prepare for the CELTA English teaching course that starts in six weeks. - done

I want to work on the questionnaire part 3 in May/June as well. - done

Reconstruct my grandma's kitchen.

 

My hobbies are: personal finance, graphs/projections/statistics, gunnery, GIS/statistics, reading/videos about (modern) history, English, working on my business, blogging/writing, geography.

This month, I did these cool activities: going for trips with my girlfriend, watching films with my girlfriend, meeting friends, going to the shooting range with my girlfriend, working on my business, starting physiotherapy, finishing the business book.

 

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Goals/resolutions/aspirations for 2024:

Main must-have plans for 2024:

Prepare for (Feb-June) and successfully make (July-August) the CELTA certificate course.

Finish the university in January. In case something goes horribly wrong, then in May. I've got this.

Move in with my girlfriend in April.

Set up the new kitchen for my grandma.

Optional nice-to-have plans for 2024:

Re-start my financial blog in February.

Learn how to type with all ten fingers on the keyboard.

Habits:

Stop watching porn (again).

Start getting up when my alarm rings = Put my alarm across the room.

Establish flossing at least once a week.

Exercise regularly.

Continue: planning, walking/exercising, writing/journaling, reading, working on good life/work balance.

It's a short list, but if I manage all of it, I will be happy.

[Ikar]

9 Oct - 14 Oct:

My girlfriend is away for holiday with a friend for a week. I took her to the train station on Saturday. We had a call today to check up on one another. It does feel strange to be alone in the flat though.

Last week we attended a pub quiz, had my girlfriend cousin's family over for a visit (with their 1-2 year old), had a photo-shoot (for my new website and a few pair photos too).

I met with my friends - one quite smart IT guy, who has a smart home. My other friend and I put together a cabinet from IKEA. I also visited my family, met a colleague - English teacher. I also learned a bunch today about AI and I also attended a seminar on tech in education.