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dwalk77

[SOCIAL] Your Thoughts on Social Media

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I've felt sort of torn about social media for quite some time, particularly Facebook.  I had Facebook until a few years ago, and I deleted it, b/c I found it distracting and I used it as a substitute for real communication.  And, to be honest, I tended to linger on profiles and pictures of attractive women, and that didn't help me much either.  So on one hand, deleting that account was very liberating, and I like not being attached to it anymore.

But, I still feel tension, especially when now I'm trying to connect with other people or groups that use Facebook.  I do believe friendships and communities can be built around it.

So, that's my dilemma.  Maybe I was being too hard on myself when I deleted it, and it could help facilitate some more connections for me.  Or...maybe it was the right move, and if I really want to get to know and connect with someone, I can have real conversation with them and ask for their cell #.  

What do you guys think? Do you use social media? Has it been an overall positive or negative effect for you? 

Edited by Regular Robert
Moved the thread since it seems to be highly relevant. Changed the title. - Robert
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I use it on the PC but only use messenger on my phone, I won't have the actual facebook app on my phone or any other social media as it gets too distracting. Sometimes I'll reinstall it so I can add someone on the go or post a photo, but usually it gets uninstalled pretty quick when I notice myself getting sucked in again. 

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I have completely dumped it from my life. I initially found it frustrating due to how many people I had as friends, because I felt really constrained with what I could say or upload. Half of them would think it was good, and the other half would criticise whatever it was. So I stopped posting at all. Then I realised when I was looking in the timeline I was either getting jealous or angry at most people, either because they were out there living their life, or angry because they are just drama queens who won't take responsibility for their own lives. So I stopped looking at the timeline. I occasionally logged on every month or so to clear notifications, but then during the detox I became hyper aware of how much time everyone around me wastes on the site. They tell me how busy they are and how they can't achieve any personal development, but then immediately open their phone and sit on the site or just talk about what "so and so put on facebook".

I was initially anxious that I would lose contact with a lot of people by not using the service, but as soon as I told people I was getting off the service they just reverted to contacting me by other means (WhatsApp generally) and the people that haven't contacted me were people I don't talk to anymore anyway, so why were they my friends? The connections and conversations I have now are much more personal.

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In the past week (I'm on day 25) I've done more facebook surfing than in the past 3 years.  I definitely need to get this under control again.  

I still sit at my computer, instead of gaming, I'll look for updates.  From anyone I know.  From ads even.  It's pretty embarrassing.

I will get out of the house more.

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23 hours ago, Kreedo said:

It's pretty embarrassing.

Try not to judge your behavior. Instead, when talking about it, start describing it, like you did in the phrases before. "I do this. I do that." What you do is real. Embarrassment is what your mind tells you, you should feel, judged by what others might think about you. And especially in this environment here, everybody knows that your behavior is completely understandable, since you are compensating the lack of gaming-stimuli with other sources of excitement. Bur you are already aware of it and changing it. In sum, a process we all have been through.

If you allow yourself to label your behavior as embarrassing, you label yourself as an embarrassment. But somebody who tries to overcome addiction to improve his life in many ways is not an embarrassment, is he? Descriptive language instead of judgemental language. Won't always work, but it helps reducing the pressure when you do stuff and it does not immediately result in the desired way. You are human and you are doing fine!

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I think Facebook from an intention point of view started good...it used to be about connecting with friends primarily. I stopped using it after I left uni, as I realised I was binging on it and becoming depressed by comparing myself to others 'happy' moments. 

It's also gotten out of hand with the advertising and endless content structure. You click, one picture, and your sent to another, constantly providing the casual peruser with unlimited sources of dopamine. Its very similar to gaming, and heck they actually have games on the website.

I can appreciate others being able to use it for social activities or meetups but I'd rather use Meetups.com/app or plain email/text/call to get in touch with people. Facebook is too loose of a socialising app, its akin to turning on the TV and being exposed to everything.

I occasionally check a person I'm curious about from my Uni days but am quickly reminded of how depressed I get using it and X out of it. Obviously this isn't Facebook's fault but my own issues.

Edited by Arch
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