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BigOlBeartic

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Ahhh everythings going well, but I regret going to the gym x_x every time things are going exceptionally well I try to add a new thing in there instead of using that extra time to further what I already have going on like my programming club/academics/my own personal program. I realize that now b/c my plan was to do at least an hour of coding everyday and it hasnt turned out that way so far in february... so yea no to the gym. But I had a good day, 3H spare down to 2.5, not much, but its something!

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Haha hi! that made me lol, and thanks for checking up on me :P

I've been posting like once or twice a week just cause there hans't been anything really significant going on! I'll start posting more frequently again. I just came on rn to post actually. Had 2 tests tuesday and a phone interview this morning for a developer job. Its actually co-op season so I have 6 interviews all next Thursday, which is scary. I messed up my phone interview a little this morning b/c the interviewer asked me "do you prefer android or ios operating systems, and why?"  =T My answer was somethign along the lines of "android, because iOS operating systems have a steeper learning curve for new users" and I started off the interview with a cringy "Its nice to talk to you" lmaoooooooo ... i guess my brain was stuck on saying "its nice to meet you" but its over the phone so.. thats what I ended up on. 

My programming club is going well too. Learning c# with unity. I like it so much I kinda want to find someone else over the internet to work on some small game together. Sometimes I the fact that I'm new becomes really glaring because I feel like I post soo many questions on reddit.

Anyway, the rest of this week i'll be preparing for those interviews + working on my next public speech really. Oh and I have a test next friday lel : -( but the biggest thing is those interviews, I really need something this summer for my resume!!!!

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2/24/18 Saturday Feb 24

Things going good, need to work on maintaining my daily plan habit. Cuz i'll get on little sidetracks too often. I attended an honors society meeting and learned about goal setting following the s m a r t acronym: specific, measurable, achievable, realistic timely. My goal is to kill these interviews and also churn out a unity game with my club and maybe something on the side. I'm either gonna post on the unity forums or finish all the official tutorials I can

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Currently studying at starbucks cuz couldnt focus at home :]

Prepped for interviews and did some hwk yestrday, This was a lazy weekend. I really need to get out of the house at weekends >_<

Edited by BigOlBeartic

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Monday 2.26

I have 6 interviews this thursday! Eeep  ><

Someone share their favorite songs with me! I need some new music. Here's one from me: Leon - Surround me

Just finished my programming club meeting oh god i'm so socially inept its cringy, like.. I'm 21 get it together... :I

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Less than 2 days until interviews! >_<

Pretend there's a transition here.. This certain insecurity I have as been fine so far b/c of what I think is a long lucky streak. However, I forgot it rememerges when I get little sleep. And it re-emerged T_T  It could get worse tomorrow, its very sensitive and volatile once there is a possibility of it getting worse. I guess we'll see!

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GUYS!! I had my 6 interviews today!!!! One of the interviews I seriously messed up. The first two interviews went very well in my opinion. The third interview, ironically, is the one i wanted the most. However, I had a class in between the first two and the third. I kinda got psyched out b/c I was thinking about the remaining interviews and feeling lost in class. WELLL, i walked up the interview table, shook hands, and as I was taking my hand away, accidentally bumped one of their glasses of water all over my suit. WELL. GEEZ. Later, I messed up one of the simplest fucking questions they could have asked me T_T (it was a super simple programming problem)!! *CRY FACE EMOJI* FUCKING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D= . Well, I didn't get it totally wrong, but still... this is really giving me a heavy burden b/c this is my second chance at everything and messing up 1 interview like that really hurts my chances in my eyes. THere's competition in all 6 already, and messing up that one to that extent feels like I destroyed an opportunity.. Then again, maybe they'll take into account that I was nervous and have some mercy b/c I did spill their water and whatnot, i dunno.But I did great on the other 3. so 5/6 were pretty good. (At least imo)

 

At the end of the day after alls said and done, I was extremely upset earlier, however, I am now feeling a lot better whiel studying for a test I have tomorrow. I am grateful that I am doing well thus far, I made it to my interviews on time at least, I spoke in a professional manner (in my opinion) and I made sure that all of the interviewers knew that I was passionate and eager to learn (even the ones I messed up with). I hope I get at least 2 offers out of the 6. Anyway, back to studying for my test =P I hope everyone here is doing well!!

Edited by BigOlBeartic

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I made an error in the two thank you emails i sent :I Im literally crying rn this week has been so stressful and i made this stupid mistake. Its a small error but nonetheslss it could really hurt my chances. fuck this shit like forreal.

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i gamed today ._. restarting 90 days sigh.. gamed for like 6 hrs a stupid onlien game uggghhh fml.. probably happened b/c i was so stressed yesterday and I have so much to do this weekend..

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5 hours ago, BigOlBeartic said:

i gamed today ._. restarting 90 days sigh.. gamed for like 6 hrs a stupid onlien game uggghhh fml.. probably happened b/c i was so stressed yesterday and I have so much to do this weekend..

Man DON’T it’s just a slip, it happened, ok, make it doesn’t happen anymore. I read your journal, and you’re doing GREAT. I think that your mistake was stopping to count the days. Why don’t you just resume it? You gamed a day, this doesn’t spoil all your progress unless you do it again. And you won’t, because you care about your life.

I’d like to hear @Cam Adair‘s opinion on this, maybe I’m giving bad advice.

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I think i have to start over =/ it was really bad.Im going to Starbucks to study. Im just emotionally dead right now.

I think I realized I have to leave the house on saturdays. Usually the saturdays are the worst. Being in the house is the worst.

Day 1

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Thanks so much :)

Day 3 Tuesday 3.6.18

Feeling better, I got a second interview offer for tomorrow afternoon.

Also got my first rejection e-mail. so that leaves 6 possibilities out of 7. Feel like I'll get one! =)

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Day 4 Wednesday 3.6.18

My hard work paid off! :) I got offered a year long paid internship in computer science which will alternate with my school semesters!! ITS LIT!!! XD =D

Starts this fall. So i'll be taking summer classes. Honestly I feel like I just changed my life. AAH :D

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Sorry to hear about the slip up but from your journal it sounds like you were doing really well!! Good luck this time around, like Cam says; Learn from it! :) 
Your journal is really inspiring though, but I do get the impression you can be a little hard on yourself, which I can relate to - a habit I'm trying to break. Maybe try to be a little more compassionate towards yourself, you're only human and you can only do your best, which in your case is already really good! 

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Thanks Bugg! :) That is something I need to work on.

Day 6 Friday 3.9.2018

Spring break is around the corner, can't wait!
Today I thought about the cost of staying in college longer, and what thats costing me and my parents.

(I'll be graduating in 6 years b/c of my major change instead of in 4 years) It really goes to show the value of time and the value of planning out what you want and knowing how to get there. One day when I have kids, I'm gonna do my best to make sure they know what they want to do before they start college b/c of this reason. 

However, thanks to this sub, the improvement I've made keeps me from beating myself up over this wasted time. Also, I know things arent clear cut. Who knows about the "what ifs"? Before I went into college I was thinking about doing something else, but caved into everyone convincing me go to college. Sometimes I wonder about what might've been.

Anyhoo, the past is in the past and I love what I'm doing right now. Things are finally turning around because of the efforts Ive put in and the amazing helpful resources out there like this awesome website. So I will keep looking up and enjoy my Spring Break =) I'll be working, and I'm going to start reading 'Life 3.0'.

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13 hours ago, BigOlBeartic said:

omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omomg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg wejustgotadog.

This just made my day xD Massive congrats :P

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