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Posted

Day 1

I actually started this a month ago, relapsed for 1 week, and am starting again a few days ago. I don't remember, so I'm just gonna treat this as day 1. I stopped quitting because I want to be a good boyfriend because of my career, and to experience the world.

90 Day Goals

  • No streams 
  • No videogames at ALL
  • Talking to my girlfriend everyday
  • Write a manuscript
  • Improve my business in a tangible way
  • Read an entire book
  • Get involved in a club
  • All A's in classes
  • Start getting up earlier

Here is what I wrote on reddit about what I wanted to accomplish today:

"Tomorrow, I'm getting up, working at the library for a few hours, working out, reading more papers, and updating the website for my business."

What I actually did: I woke up, got dressed, made my bed, did some dishes, eat breakfast while I talked to my girlfriend on the phone. Then I went to the library to run some of my code. It took me about 3 hours to write a fairly simple script, I feel pretty rusty since I haven't programmed seriously in a while. But I'm glad that I wrote it so I could easily change it for future projects, instead of just writing it applicable to this project. Then I ate my lunch, some lentils and spinach I had made in the crock-pot a few days ago and fixed up the website for my business, though I'm still not completely satisfied with it. Then I ran 4 miles through the campus. I was originally going to go to the gym, but it was closed for Labor Day. However I'm really happy I got to run again, even if I was slow (around 11min/mile). It felt good to be outside and I think I would like to do that again. After that I came home and sent some emails to people I'm meeting with next week, and also I sent 2 emails about joining some clubs on campus that will help me further my career goals. Additionally, a long term-client emailed me with a job for my business, and I felt proud because I was able to respond within minutes, instead of the hours it would have taken to notice if I had been deep in a video game binge. Then I talked to my girlfriend a bit, and now I'm writing this, as my first post.

I felt like all in all it was a good day, but I do feel like I can improve. I did everything on my goals except for reading a paper that I needed to look over, but I did a lot more than I anticipated, so I guess it works out. Particularly, I woke up late, around 10:30, and I browsed reddit too much. I would like to move to just posting here I think instead of the r/stopgaming, not that there's anything wrong with it, but because I tend to get distracted more easily. Plus, I like the idea of documenting my progress day-to-day. 

Tomorrow my plan is to wake up at 9:30, get dressed for a successful day, eat breakfast, clean the house, head to the library, and review the job and begin working on the job my client gave me. He's got a tight deadline, by Friday, and I always try to finish a couple of days before, so I'm really looking at 36 hours to finish. I would like to be pretty much done with the project by the time I go to sleep tomorrow, so that means I'll likely be working all day only on this. I want to try to run a 5k in under 30 minutes tomorrow for my workout. 

Posted

Welcome! Remember to enjoy your life and don't get burnt out too soon. Plus Ultra!

Posted

Plus Ultra man!

Don't focus on too many things is my suggestion. That way you will maybe get burned out yea and escape from reality in gaming again. Just do what feels right for you. Stopping with gaming is the first step. That way you will have sooo much more time and you can experience what life really is.

We will be here along the journey. Just don't give up. Ever. What the hell would Deku do huh? HE WOULD FIGHT FOR IT! hehe

- Velzen

Posted (edited)

First of all, I want to thank both of you for responding! You guys both made my day. You guys are kinda cheesy, but I woke up today and I reall think because of you guys, I had an amazing day. 

I appreciate the concern for me burning out. I really don't want to. I think I'll need to schedule myself some break time, otherwise I won't get around to it. I think this Saturday I'll go out hiking or something.

Day 2

Today was ridiculously busy. I'm super tired (it's 2am and I need to wake up at 7am) but I feel like I need to write this.

I woke up at 9:30, after having extremely bad insomnia, staying up until 4am. I want to start waking up earlier. I read a study that showed that CEOs only sleep on average for 6 hours a night, and 80% of them get up before 6am. So I want to start modeling myself like that. Even more impressive to me than getting up though was how I immediately got out of bed. That's new for me. So i get dressed, grab some yogurt for breakfast, pack my lunch for the day (more lentils) and I head to the medical center to request a parking pass. The security guards were out, so I ended up just answering a few emails and set myself a meeting with somebody really important for helping me get into an MBA program- that was awesome! I'm meeting with him Thursday, I'm a little nervous.

So the security people get there and I turn in my parking paperwork, then I head for the library. I sat down and coded for about 4 hours, which ended up not being as productive as I wanted. There's still so much I don't know, but I finally figured out a breakthrough to parallelize my program, so it'll take days instead of months to run. So, even though I didn't quite accomplish anything here, I still managed to wrap my mind around a way.

 My client who proposed an offer to me didn't get back to me until around 6. Around this time, I decided to get my workout in as it was getting dark. Unfortunately, it started to rain a lot, so I ended up just going to the gym and running two miles and doing some ab exercises. I wish I had run more but I am not going to beat myself over it, I still went so I count that as a success. Then I went the grocery store to get some food for the week. I came home and started making some crock-pot mozzarella ziti, which was really good! I made enough to last me the next few days too, so eating will be pretty easy. While it was cooking, I cleaned my whole apartment, and I sat down and did around 3 hours of work for my client, and even managed to finish a prototype of a graph, something I didn't promise until tomorrow night. I promised him a Thursday 4pm deadline, but I always want to finish early. My real deadline is midnight tomorrow night.

I ended up doing way more than I set out for myself yesterday! 

Tomorrow I will: Wake up at 7am, get ready, eat breakfast and pack my lunch and meet my friend at his apartment at 7:45 (I told him 8, but I have a bad habit of being late and I'm trying to be more punctual. So, 7:45). He's giving me a ride to campus (because I don't have my parking permit yet) to go through an EXCITING all-day lab safety orientation (which is especially irksome as I only work on my computer but I still have to go). I don't think I'm gonna work out tomorrow, I'm gonna let my legs rest so I don't over do it, and have a long run day on Thursday. After the orientation, my friend will probably give me a ride back, and I'll go back to the library and won't leave until I finish the project (which shouldn't be that bad - I've already got the code for the prototype, and I'll just make any edits and move on). 

Everything I do tomorrow will be PLUS ULTRA.

 

 

Edited by imquitgaming
Picture of ziti too big :(
Posted

sounds like you have plan but like others I m afraid you will burn out too soon. Being detail is good and all but I have done this type thing before where I had everything planned out and it will work for maybe a week or to then it kind dies out, so it may not burn out now but it will. I would suggest doing one thing at time then start adding things to it,

If it your work then understandable of the deadlines you have to keep but for yourself do one step at a time.  

I'm still new to this experience myself. 

Posted

 

As I've said zeke365, I appreciate the concern. However this is nothing new for me. This was what I used to be like before gaming took over and nearly ruined me. I graduated with highest honors in a STEM field from my undergrad while working 35 hours a week, first as a dishwasher then as a tutor, got a master's in 1 year, and am now getting my PhD. During my master's however I became lazy and addicted to video games, which is why I'm here. Even though everything on the outside was fine, I had a full scholarship, a good relationship with my girlfriend, even got into the PhD program of my dreams, I wasn't satisfied with the direction my life was heading. I knew I could do better. I needed to do better, for myself. I've been trying to progressively take back my life and I find that work is the thing I get the most meaning from. I enjoy it. There isn't anything I'd rather do to be honest. The thrill of being able to help people (I work with biomedical data) and work towards being able to provide for my family eventually by founding a company. I love what I do and I wouldn't trade it for anything. To be honest my career is the main reason I want to quit gaming. If I didn't care about my career, I would just keep playing and skate by school, barely get a PhD, find a good job working 40 hours a week paying well and game all day after. But I would hate that, I would be so depressed. I want to keep working for my dreams. I guess you could say I'm a workaholic. I saw the negative effects of gaming most pronounced in my career, and that's what I cared about most.

Thanks BigPete247! I really appreciate the words of encouragement! 

 

Day 3:

Today I had an easier day - still productive, but very relaxed. Even though I got a lot of stuff done, I still feel completely relaxed. 

I was proud of myself - I got up early after barely any sleep and arrived early to my friend's place to carpool to the orientation. We went to the mandatory lab safety orientation where I had the realization that I had to value my time as a CEO would. So I ended up multi-tasking and working for a couple of hours on the project my client had given me. I made plans with some friends to go hiking on Saturday, then to a steakhouse after. Should be good! I'm looking forward to it. The orientation got out way earlier than expected, so i ended up coming home and taking a much needed nap for 2 hours (no regrets!). After that, I worked for around 5 hours to finish the project, sent it in (16 hours before deadline), then I skyped my parents for a bit, which was nice.

Towards the end of the night, I read a chapter of a book about growing a business start-up, and It's really good. It's giving me some great insight into refining my business idea towards growth. I think I need to really start looking more seriously at software development as opposed to consulting and begin generating products, most valuably for customer feedbacks. The first tool I will create is a non-linear least square regression GUI using C++ as a proof of concept, as well as a landing page to take the place of a subsidiary. It's something (relatively) simple that I know there's a demand for. This will be the business idea that I will use to improve in a tangible way.

Tomorrow, I will: Wake up at 7:00am. I will prepare for the day, make coffee, send some emails, then head out to the medical center where I have a meeting with somebody from the computing services to make sure I don't break the server when I run my code. After that, I will work on getting my code submitted to the server, then around 2 I will make my way to the business school to talk to an administrator about joining the MBA program at 3. After that, I will go home, eat, and change into some running clothes, leave my car at my friends and run 5.6 miles to a mandatory ethics seminar from 6pm-8pm, and get a ride back with him. Then, I will complete 2.5 modules of a C++ course I'm taking.

 

Posted (edited)

Day 4:

 

Today was a terrible, awful day. Very unproductive. I think I need to take care of my sleep better. But really it was just mental stuff bothering me. From the start of the day I was bothered by self-doubts. I went to my morning meeting, and found it unproductive. I realized that the project I was working on wasn't worth pursuing. I was exhausted. I took a nap. I don't like me taking naps. Then I met with the professor who runs the MBA program. I realized that I had so much I needed to do in order to accomplish my dreams. I need to work 10x harder than I am now. I'm in last place right now comparing myself to the people I'm around. I felt very demoralized talking to him and realizing what I need to do. However, I will do it. I will work my way from the bottom.

I took the rest of the night off because I knew I was not in the mental state to do work. I had a nice 5.6 mile run and attended a mandatory seminar. After, I came home and watched some Code Geass. I like anime because it's positive. I feel very unproductive right now because I can't go to the library because I don't have my parking pass and I have so much fucking bullshit to do like all these stupid fucking seminars I need to attend and waste my time with. It's bothering me so much. I just want to have a place I can do work and I can't find anywhere that either 1) doesn't close super early or 2) I can park even remotely close to. I can't get work done at my house because I get too distracted and I just feel very aggravated.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better. But even today's shitty day was better than my best day gaming.

It's hard even to write my plan for tomorrow because I won't be able to be in a place where I can do work. However, I hope I'll get up at 8:30AM, eat breakfast, maybe try paying for parking to go to the library for a few hours to work on c++, then go to my friends' to bike with him to another mandatory orientation, then go back. I'd like to find somewhere to just sit and work after that. I might risk getting a parking ticket as it's Friday night, but I don't know yet. Man, I just really wish I had my parking pass so I could go somewhere to get work done. It's driving me insane.

 

Edited by imquitgaming
forgot to add tomorrow's plan
Posted (edited)

Day 5:

 

Much better day!! I was extremely productive and happy.

I woke up later than usual (9:30 am) and I think that was the key to me. I think I have to stop trying to wake up early just because other people do so. I am most productive between 6pm-12 midnight, so why would I try to do early work? I think I should shoot for a medium. Around 8-9 seems to be "the sweet spot" for me, where I can get stuff done but also not be miserable all day and end up having to nap.

I relaxed for the morning, cooked some food (still eating ziti, yummy and so easy because I don't have to cook everynight), talked to my girlfriend, and then went to my friends to get a ride to the mandatory orientation, which wasn't so bad as I just sat and ran through my C++ tutorial. Then I spend some time with my friends from the program, we went to a local shop and got some fries and just talked for a bit, it was nice. Then, I got some coffee and came back home, where I proceeded to crank out some work. I nearly finished the C++ tutorial before I got bored and already determined I knew enough to write in it with minimal help which was good because my boss wanted me to learn it, then I played around with python tkinter module and rpy2 which let me use R embedded within a python GUI, and I even got to run a simple power calculation using a GUI. I'm getting close to my minimum viable product, and that's very exciting. I s pent around 7 hours working on that, then I got an email back from my client who was happy with the work I did and wanted to hire me for something else. It was great. Not only do I get to make some money, but I'm also helping further research on cancer, and that's so awesome. I'm so blessed to be in my current situation. So I did some research on the project and gave him a proposal. After, I read another chapter of my start-up book, and ordered another one on amazon for after I finish. I notice that both reading and writing this journal really help organize my thoughts. After I write this I'm gonna watch some more Code Geass. The only thing I could have done better is work out, but I'm gonna be gentle on myself because I was very productive. 

Tomorrow: Wake up at 8:15, and get dressed to go hiking. I'll go hiking, then I'll come back and work on the project that my client has for me or work on the GUI some more. I think I should also do laundry and clean up a bit, and I may go out to a steakhouse with a friend after. Sounds good!

Edited by imquitgaming
Posted

Today was awesome, I got absolutely nothing done, and I have no regrets.

 

I woke up at 8, We hiked the mountain and I was just exhausted and I ended up just coming back to take a nap. Then I woke up and I'm just watching some anime.

 

Even though I regret not being more productive, the hike was so amazing. I went by myself for a bit, and found myself in nature. I did some thinking about what I wanted from life. It was amazing. I have no regrets.

 

Tomorrow, it's back to the grind. Wake up 9, hopefully finish the other job for the client, do some laundry to prepare for first day of school the next day.

Posted

Day 7:

1 week (officially). Feels good. 

Today was interesting, and productive. I initially started out today with the realization that I wasn't getting anything done today. Then, I ended up doing a lot. I cleaned my house, I did all my laundry, including folding it (which I've never seriously done in my life, that's a win for me), then I went to the grocery store, bought some food for the week, cooked dinner for the next few days. Then I sat down and worked on the job for my client for a while, which is taking longer than expected. But, i'm still ok with it, because It'll get done before the deadline I set for myself. Also, I discussed my software development idea with the same client I'm working for, and he introduced me to a CEO in his area with +25 years experience, so I'm very excited. It could be a good opportunity, even just to learn - I feel like I'm doing this networking thing right. 

 I didn't work out today because I was still very sore from the hike, but maybe that's just an excuse. I'm glad I did laundry though, that's something I've really been putting off. Something else I'm not happy about is that I'm wasting so much time on reddit and facebook getting into political debates. They're really not doing anything beneficial to me, they just waste time. The whole reason I got on reddit again was to look at r/stopgaming, but it's becoming really distracting because I look at other stuff too. I think tomorrow I will not get on either facebook or reddit. I just hate how much it distracts me. I ended up not reading much of my book tonight because I was distracted. That's not ok. I need to stop wasting my time getting wrapped up in stupid stuff on social media.

 

Tomorrow I will: Wake up at 8:30. Get ready, pack my lunch, eat breakfast, and be at the medical center at 10 for the last orientation (finally). Then I'll (hopefully) get my parking permit, and then park on campus to go to my lab and talk to my boss. Then I will work on stuff for him, until evening, then I'll go home and work on the other job for my client. I'd like to finish the statistics portion by tomorrow night.

I have a feeling it'll be a great day :)

 

Posted

Thanks Fern! I can't tell you how much better my life is now. It's really improving.  I don't want to get complacent though. 

Day 8:

Today was a great day, despite some minor setbacks. I had a 5 hour energy around 5pm last night which was a huge mistake, and I realized my addiction to caffeine has gone through the roof. Just today I had a redbull, 2 cups of coffee and a 20oz coke, and that was me limiting myself. Tomorrow I'd like to cut that to 1 redbull, 1 cup of coffee and 1 12oz coke, still a lot but I'll consider that a success compared to what I have been ingesting. Anyway, I had pretty bad insomnia and woke up very groggy today, but I still got up and got dressed for the last orientation. It went ok, I didn't actually pay attention because it didn't have much to do with me but I got some work done for my client. Then I realized that school was starting and I'm no longer at my tier 3 public school, I'm now at my dream school, where everybody else works just as hard as I do, so now I need to work harder. I have a pre-test for a machine learning class tomorrow which decides if I can stay in the class or not, so some of today I spent going over linear algebra, which I completely forgot, and some vector calculus. I also have 40 pages to read by Wednesday (so, I have 40 pages to read tomorrow) of super dense scientific papers to read, and I have no idea how I'm gonna manage that. But, I'll figure it out, I always do. But anyway, after the orientation, I went to my boss' office and he was a little too busy to talk to me, which was fine because I had a lot of other stuff to do anyway. After that, I talked to a CEO and investor that my client introduced me to for an hour about my business idea (he works in software development too) and I got some really valuable insight. He even told me that he would keep me in mind as a future contractor, which was pretty amazing to hear. I realized that I had been going in the wrong direction, but hey, that's why it's market research and not market do-what-you-think-is-correct-right-now. I realized I need to learn one thing and do it well, I need to master one thing. But, I still am in awe that I'm even in this position right now. Not gaming got me here. Otherwise, I would have just come home and started playing dota. After, I kept working on the job for the client, and then something really shitty happened and I accidentally deleted 4 hours worth of work, which was infuriating to say the least. However, I managed to keep a steady head, resigned to what happened, and just kept working. I just finished what I should have finished 4 hours ago, so I'll have to wake up early to study for my test more. I'm not worried about passing, the practice test isn't that bad, but I want to get a 100%. If I'm gonna try, why would I try for anything less? Also, I stopped looking at reddit and FB today during the day, which I think really helped me a lot. I'm writing this a little earlier than normal so I can read a bit and stop looking at screens. 

 

Tomorrow I will: Wake up at 7:30, go workout, go to the hospital and try to get my parking permit (again...), study for my test in the morning, work on the project (maybe finish?), read the papers, and cook dinner. 

Posted

Drink more water when you feel a desire for caffeine. Your body is dehydrated and 3 glasses of water will wake you up just as much if not more than caffeine will. You could also just be craving the sugar. 

Posted

Thanks Cam! Yeah, that's definitely a good point, and water is probably what my body really wants. I think sugar might be part of it too. Otherwise I eat decently healthy, but my sugar consumption in drinks is pretty bad. I wish I had seen this post earlier, it probably would have motivated me to not have the second coke of the day. But tomorrow is a new day, and I'm going to keep trying.

 

Day 9:

Today was pretty great despite the fact that it should have been bad! I think my positive mindset carried me through today.

Imagine that, I had another bad sleep. I really need to cut out caffeine. So I was a little groggy, but I still managed to get up and out without too bad of an attitude. Then, the worst part of the day - my truck started slipping gears while I was driving, flashing colors on my indicator dash, etc. So there's something very wrong with my truck. It has 220k+ miles on it, so maybe it's about that time. I was hoping to at least get one more year out of it though. But anyway, I didn't have time to check it out because I had my test, which I did decently ok on. It really didn't matter, it was just a pre-test but I wanted to get a 100, just to prove to myself. I don't think I got there, but I will keep trying to improve. So after I took the bus home, and ended up nearly finishing the work for my client (will finish by tomorrow!) and read 3/4 papers for my class tomorrow, I couldn't keep my eyes open for the last paper so I'm just gonna shoot for doing it tomorrow morning. I also ended up going for a quick 3 mile run, which was very relaxing. I also cooked food for the next few days, some chickpeas, tomatoes, beef, carrots, celery, bell peppers, threw them into a crockpot on high for 4 hours - it's a pile of protein, but it tastes pretty good. 

 

Tomorrow I will: wake up at 8, take the bus at 9, take the other bus to get to the hospital and go to my 10:30 class, then i will head back to main campus and sit in my lab and try to finish the job for my client, which would be so nice. Then I have an optional session at 4:35 for my class, which I'm definitely going to go to so I can learn the basics of MATLAB. After, I will come home, go for a run, and finish the job, no matter what it takes. I'm excited to be done with it!

I will also take Cam's suggestion and when I crave caffeine past 2pm instead of going for coffee I'll chug some water. Maybe the positive mindset (doing something, drinking water) vs negative mindset (not drinking caffeine) will work better. Putting two bottles of water in my backpack now for tomorrow, and drinking one right now. It's worth a shot.

Posted

Quick post today. Was decent day. Productive. Just another day grinding really. I did drink less caffeine and I had like 4-5 glasses of water today, so that was good. I'm exhausted so I'm going to sleep early.

I finished my job so that was nice. More time to work on other stuff.

Tomorrow: Wake at 8:15, take bus to campus, work until class at 2, keep working after. Finally got my assignment for my research so I'll be looking into that for sure.

Posted

Today was more or less the same as yesterday. I didn't drink my usual afternoon coffee but regretted it as I came home and drank soda to get my caffeine fix instead. I'm gonna get some tomorrow. Kind of in a shitty mode right now because my code doesn't work but I'm just gonna close my computer and forget about it. My boss is happy with me and my relationship is going well so I guess that's really what matters.

I've been having cravings to game. They're getting stronger so I'm worried about it. I'm just gonna take it one day at a time. I think it's because I have a hard time dealing with failure, which I've done a lot recently. Tomorrow: I'll wake up at 8, bus to campus, go to class, go to the office and try to get some help with my code, and work. I think i'll bring a pair of workout shorts so I can lift weights tomorrow too, that'll be good for me. 

Posted

Day 12:

 

Good day! Very productive. Got up early and had a good night sleep (not drinking coffee after 1 did wonders). However I did drink a decent amount of coffee today, but I was planning to stay up and do work anyway which I did. I got my code running and now am just waiting for it to run. I even ran it on another two subjects for the hell of it. Also, I learned MATLAB today and was able to get started on some of my hw. I'm taking my time with it because I really want to do it right. I also read around 30 pages of a book, a short fiction one, which is going well. Now I'm just watching anime. Tomorrow I think I'm gonna be super bored because I'll be stuck at home all day as my car is broken, but I'll just end up doing some work so it won't be so bad.

I'm really happy I'm not gaming anymore. Not many cravings today, if at all. There's ups and downs but the trend is definitely going up.

Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up at 9:00 and finish my homework, and update my business' website. 

Posted

Today I completely failed. I watched streams all day. I know some people might say that's not he same thing but I know the only reason I didn't download steam again was because I left my mouse at my office (to prevent this very thing from happening) and my car is broken down so I couldn't get it.

I'm starting again at day 1, tomorrow. Even though I didn't game, I still watched streams which I felt like was just as big of a problem when I stopped. I dreaded coming here and confessing this to you guys but I figured I had to.

After I wasted my day watching streams, I wrote a song to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. It's pretty stupid and cheesy but:

 

Bm | A | F#/D | G

Why do you love me

When all I have are flaws

 

Bm |  A | Em | F#/D | A

What do you see when you look at me?

 

But I won’t stop, I won’t let up

I won’t quit trying until I’m done

I’m waking up tomorrow

 

Em | F#m | G | A

I’m an addict, and a thief

I’m selfish-beyond all belief

I’m a liar, a shill and a cheat

But tomorrow I don’t have to be

 

The sun will rise and I will smile

It’s a new day to be alive

And I am free to be who I want to be

 

The rain may fall, and I will say

I needed to water the plants anyway

So I guess it’s for the best

 

I was an addict, and a thief

I was selfishness-beyond all belief

I was a liar, a shill and a cheat

But today I don’t have to be

 

Like a bird, I can fly free

and escape from my past reality

And give you somebody you’re proud of

 

It starts day by day

With the decision to wake up and feel ok

And the choice is entirely mine

 

Em | F# | G | A

And I can rewrite this song of my life

Give you everything you’d like

Because I'm worth it all right

I can show you what it’s like

 

Bm | D

To be alive

I can do anything I’d like

I can do anything I’d like

 

I only wrote it to pump myself back up because I feel like I just failed. When I was watching all the cravings flooded back. But I know I'll stronger now, if I keep going.

 

Tomorrow, I will not watch any streams or do any games. I don't really care what happens otherwise. I might go biking with my friend or finish some hw.

 

Posted

Day 1, restart:

I ran a half marathon today! It was great. I can't say I really did anything else but it was still awesome. I needed to prove to myself, and I did it! It was the most i've run since high school, when I was the most athletic I had been in my whole life. I did it. Great day, short post- I'm exhausted


Tomorrow, I will: wake up at 7, call to get my car working at 7:30, if they have room, I'll drop it off in the morning, then I'll go to class at 10:30. Then Ill take bus to campus and go talk to the post-doc to fix my code, then I will work on code and do HW, and then I'll come back home and cook some dinner.

 

 

Posted

The song is great, I don't think it's stupid at all and the lyrics are really relatable. Congrats on running the half marathon, that's a big thing! :) 

Posted

Fern, thanks!

 

Day 2:

 

Today was a nice day, I felt like it was very balanced. I didn't wake up early (I think my body wanted me to sleep after running so much), but I got to class then went to work and got my code running again and worked on some HW. During this time I got another potential job with my client. However I was still completely exhausted  so despite a fair amount of caffeine I just came home and crashed. When I woke up, I scheduled some networking events for Wednesday, cooked for the next few days (beef spaghetti), read a chapter of my book, and just took it easy. I really liked what I did today, aside from the need to sleep for so long (probably due to running), because it was so balanced. I took care of my body, did my work for school, worked on my business, cooked for the next few days, like everything I needed to do (aside from my car, which isn't a big deal because the bus has been working fine for me).

I also had a great realization. Over the past 2.5 months, I've stopped smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, drinking alcohol, doing other drugs (I have a severe addiction to stimulants like adderall), stopped gaming (with a few speed bumps, but I'm not going to give up just because I fail, that's just more reason to try harder!), and I started nofap two days ago. I've been dressing nicer (a good friend of mine even told me how he wanted to start dressing professional like me!), my business is more successful than ever, my work is going well, I've been making my bed everyday and keeping my apartment somewhat clean, I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life, I've been cooking for myself every day and saving money, and I'm actually happy. It's one of those things that makes me think, like damn, I didn't see my progress from day to day, but when I reflect on my journey I've progressed so much. I think it's because I've been trying to improve constantly. I think the second that I think "Oh look at me, I'm doing perfect, everything is fine" I start to relapse. I want to run an ironman triathlon, I want to have a million dollar business, sure, but it's as much goals like that as it is just deciding to not fap for the day, or wear nice clothes everyday. Everything is going better, but the joy in all of these things doesn't come from where I am now, but trying to constantly improve myself.

Tomorrow, I will: Wake up at 10 (feel like this is more realistic for me) and fix my car, then go to class. Then I will run, my goal is a 10k in under 1 hour. After that I will help my friend with some code, and then I'll do some HW, and read.

Posted

Day 3:

Life is pretty good. I got some stuff done. I did some work on my car and am hoping it'll get better (I'm starting to think it's just a clogged injector, I really hope that's it). I didn't run 10k today because as soon as I stepped outside I realized that my body had not recovered yet, so I only did a 3k, but managed to keep a decent pace for me (27:35). I went to class, which was great! I'm really enjoying it and I'm happy I actually understand what's going on. I feel more confident that I can do it. I worked on the project for my client. Also, I decided to try mile a day, to run at least 1 mile everyday. I'm pumped but a little scared. Tomorrow I think I'll take it easy and do a relaxing run, I might even head out after class to a local park in the area.

 

Tomorrow: Wake at 9, get ready, go to class, and finish the work for my client, and my hw.

Posted

I'd just like to stop by and let you know I appreciate the song you wrote. Never look down on anything you create, because it's the process and the sentiment behind it that matters. When you create instead of consume you instantly set yourself apart from the majority. 

Also, good job on running. I myself have picked it up again lately. Ran a full 10k without stopping for the first time a couple days ago, and I haven't felt so accomplished in a long time before that. :D B|

You've definitely got this. Exercise is a big deal; research has actually found it to aid in overcoming addiction (Read the book "Spark" if interested.)

Good luck. :) 

Posted (edited)

Thanks Simon! I should be proud of myself for even trying, I suppose. But you're right, the act of writing it really helped me push through and not sit in depression.

 

Today was good. I went to class, got some HW done, then went to a meet up for entrepreneurs, and I learned a lot. After I went for a 5k run, it was a great run, I didn't care about speed or distance I just ran to run. However today I had significantly less caffeine than usually which gave me a terrible headache. I'm decided that I'm going to quit caffeine. I'm going to switch to decaf for the week then quit. I'm about to sign up for a half marathon in 30 days, my goal is to run in under 2:00:00.

 

Tomorrow: wake up at 10, go to library, do some HW, go to class, more HW (finish!), and work on the job for my client.

Edited by imquitgaming

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