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Vlad

Vlad's Journal

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I haven't had a true panic attack in a while but I'm going to watch the video in case I get one in the future. I've had recent feelings of hopelessness and isolation, but they've diminished as I enact positive changes in my life. I don't think they were true panic attacks...usually with those I had heaving chest and shortness of breath.

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Day 26 (2/3, TBU)

The day isn't done until the midnight oil is gone. xDxDxD

I'm actually enjoying the work on my HR-brand, my account with vacancies will be up and running before I go to bed. I'll keep y'all posted.

Edited by Vlad

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Day 26 (final)

Done and done. :D

However, I'll probably revise them tomorrow after I consult with my senior and maybe more experienced employees. The mismatch between job titles and functions is a little tricky from the stand point of benefits. Rise and shine in 4 hours and we'll see how it goes, plenty of stuff to do tomorrow.

The day was a total success as far as gaming goes xDxDxD, nothing as usual.

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Day 27

A good day, got plenty responses to the vacancies. I'm astonished at the new HR system I've implemented! It's so simple, yet so time-saving. I wish I had created it, it's just genius! It entails a line in the vacancy desription to test attentiveness, a tiny questionnaire and an short personality test. Apart from my new HR endeavors I got the usual day-to-day stuff done.

While chatting with my girlfriend, I got business advice from her that made me want to lash out on her, but I didn't. I think sometimes I'm too sensitive to that type of talk. When people without a running business tell me wisdom like "you should simply...(create/hire/fire/automate/set up/etc)" I feel like punching them in the face xD. We would all simply be billionaires, if it was so simply and easily done. Anyways I'm proud that I kept my cool and we had a heart to heart in nice and delicate words. I think it was not short of a little breakthrough. :) Usually in such situations I just insulted people when they didn't mean offense, but just were a little ignorant on the topic. Or insulted them in my head and held a grudge if they were my friends and relatives. So, that's a very good change.

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Good job keeping calm under pressure) In our company we have a joke about new tool that would allow to create the whole product "fast and easy". Most of the time it turns out "slow and painfully" =) 

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@HappyCat @Mettermrck @BigPete247 Thank you, guys!) I appreciate your support.

Day 28

Fine busy day. Spent all day iterating with candidates and putting out little client fires. Tuesday is going to be an interview marathon :D. I expect to invite up to 20 candidates (10 for each vacancy), but to think of it 20 candidates x 30-40 minutes = 10-13 hours O.o of live time. I've already checked out over 80 resumes of responders, tested 20 and invited 5. I'll probably split it into two days and start inviting candidates for Monday as well.

It's so fascinating, how people think in totally different ways and how resumes mismatch with answers to a short and simple effectiveness questionnaire. It seems that most applicants are clueless why the hell did their previous employer pay them at all. I want to master HR stuff and delegate it soon, but first I have to understand nuts and bolts, so I can pick an effective and efficient HR-manager.

It's 1.30 am, and I've still got a load to do. Weekends are going to be even busier as I have to write down and edit all the instructions and training materials for the new employees.

Well, for gaming, what is gaming? xD To think of it I've changed my perspective on strategy games. They are evil and counter-productive, I can't remember a strategy game that wasn't about micro management and in real life it's just the opposite. You delegate responsibilities, you train a person to do them, check systematically, retrain and hold that person accountable. You don't ever do his job otherwise it would be more practical just to give free money to candidates at the door and let them be.

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Day 29

The day was okay. Upon waking up I was exhausted and had to push myself to get going. After I got into the rhythm it got better though. I got a few interviewees that I have high hopes about. Tomorrow a big and important block of work awaits. I must put business processes in writing. I just came to a realization - I started to subconsiously put myself in situations with burned bridges, because now I have no other route but to prepare everything for the new employees I expect to start on Wednesday. Sweet :D

I lifted heavy tonight. After the workout I felt like I deserved a truckload of ice cream, but I didn't go for any. A little thinking about "deserving ice cream" made me understand that I don't believe in such a concept. I recalled one of my ex-gfs, she would always run her mouth about deserving this and that. She's a pretty ex-figureskater with rich parents, but she has been metaphorically sitting on her ass still for years. She would go on about deserving preferential treatment, gifts, time, attention (that she expected me to provide) and never really brought anything to the table. To think about it, she was worse than video games, a true toxic "black hole" xD. Gladly I dropped her. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I only believe in negotiating and making deals, earning and collecting if necessary. Deserving is a victim's game.

I glad about my weight loss progress, I'm at 224 lbs, l look and feel better than when I started 23 days ago. I'm certain that I'll make the goal weight under 220 lbs by September, 1. It's funny how Instagram is also a source of motivation - there are so many girls with abs nearby, that they make it look easy, almost expected. Some of them are obviously on PEDs, but I'm willing to disregard that because it motivates me anyways.

No gaming today.

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Nice, you'll reach your desired weight in no time, ever considered at HITT workout?

Thak you for consideration and good advice. I cut HIIT to take it easy on the joints and not to temper with powerlifting recovery. I played football as DE/TE/FB and did MMA, so I totally agree that HIIT is a valuable conditioning tool.

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Nice, you'll reach your desired weight in no time, ever considered at HITT workout?

Thak you for consideration and good advice. I cut HIIT to take it easy on the joints and not to temper with powerlifting recovery. I played football as DE/TE/FB and did MMA, so I totally agree that HIIT is a valuable conditioning tool.

Hey np, Vlad, seems like your already doing enough to reach your goal, we still need you alive to keep up with your journal.

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Day 30

So, I'm past 1/3 of the Detox. Quitting video games has been a very good change and I'm willing to continue with the more productive lifestyle.

I've got a part of work done and lifted (although I shouldn't have according to the program). A fine day, nothing specific apart from nearing deadlines.

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You've come a long way in such a short time, Vlad. The amount of projects you're undertaking and the level of responsibility you have is amazing.

Edited by Mettermrck

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Day 31

The first half of day I was feeling wrecked, no energy at all - I guess I should stick to the training program and not overdo it, heavy squats and deadlifts do seriously tire the CNS. Second half was much better, I've got stuff done. I'm unhappy with myself, because I didn't complete my work tasks for the weekend and again I'm working late - a terrible habit I should break.

I'll start the hiring process for a personal assistant, not the one that makes coffee and gives occassional blowjobs, but the one that constructively helps get work done in a systematical manner. I need to make the decision very soon and follow through. I'm scared to be honest. My business model doesn't allow me to get paid much in advance, so I have to incur expenses first. Cash is tight now, cash flow will get better in September, and I need to have all my shit together by then. My girlfriend volunteers to help me, but I'm against mixing business with intimate relationships. So, hiring an assistant now:

The bad

  • Spreading cash too thin is obviously a significant risk, I'm crazy reluctant to dig into savings to keep business afloat even temporarily. To think of it, I would rather rob banks as a side-hustle than take hard-earned money out of savings. xD
  • Another aspect that bothers me is that when I have an assistant I will have to stick to a more strict schedule myself, which I find to be a pain in the ass. Lack of addictions may make the transion process easier for me. So another reason to quit shisha/hookah/waterpipe ASAP. Maybe it will become another "burned bridge" that I've been creating recently.
  • Another person neck-deep in my confidential information. I'm running a 100% legal and ethical business but I'm very cautious of informational leaks and competitive espionage, because I've created certain know-hows that I value, but can't patent and am willing to guard them at high costs. Perhaps if I triple-check the candidates's ethical nature, their ability to keep mouth shut, check all references and recommendation than I'll probably feel safe. I guess I should go as far as trying to get confidential info about the previous employer from candidates (intelligence-style) xD as a test and delicately get my point across that I'm willing to break legs (repeatedly too) in case my assistant gets an idea to stab me in the back.
  • I'm having self-doubts regarding my ability to hire high-quality people. It will complicate work if I hire a wrong person. I need to double my efforts on this front, test and interview a ton of candidates, and maybe consult with someone wise to this tasksto mitigate this risk. I should find an attentive, honest and positive person, that will not fuck up, shy away from informing me about occasional fuck-ups ASAP and suggest solutions. I must screen out complainers and clueless waiters. 

The good

  • The risk of getting stuck and not progressing fast enough (and failing as a result) is super scary. I've got many things I need implemented and done that with great probabilty will bring money, Extra good help will speed up the progress.
  • I feel overwhelmed by multiple simultaneous tracks of work and I'm pretty sure that I lack the wiring to successfully juggle that many tasks at once. Help with the right personality, mindset and skills will complement my strengths and weaknesses. As a team I think we'll be more effective, efficient and importantly quicker.
  • A right person will help me with informational overload and will take up some my tasks, like routine checks on my current managing employees.
  • A good assistant will make me more mindful and accountable, because my assistant's performance will be a reflection of the things I come up with, set in motion, follow through and check on.
  • An assistant that compliments me will make work on the tasks I don't have the natural tendencies for easier and less stressful.
  • A good, professional and well-paid assistant will become a booster - hey, I'm paying that person plenty, so I need to work even harder myself and load him with a ton of work too, so generate additional cashflow, multiple of what I'm paying him.
  • Having a personal assistant will better me as a person and a professional. He/she will be a living "artifact" and reminder of what I stand for and what I have set out to do. Funny, it's a little like gold chain V 2.0. I'm certain that having that extra payroll obligation all linked to me personally and having that presence in my life will push me harder.

So, I'm thinking I must man up, strap in, buckle up, suck it up, I don't know what else up and get going with the personal assistant.

Knowing what I know now, if I was younger and hadn't done everything I've done after graduating from college, I would have become an assitant to someone I respect and admire as an entrepreneur even with no pay. But than again it would probably be a different me in ways that are hard to predict. What-ifs are pointless anyway, so I'll be the real present me and the best I can. We'll see what good I can create.

Bros, if I'm missing something on my pros/cons analysis, please tell! It's a big one for me. And sorry for the long post.

Edited by Vlad

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