Hitaru 1119 Posted July 28, 2016 Author Share Posted July 28, 2016 (edited) Another lovely day without games! No, seriously, I'm starting to appreciate summer in all its increased UV glory. Yesterday I finished a drawing and gained one or two levels in skill. I'll draw a bit more today and I plan to go to the beach with some fragments of translation and get them done there. I haven't been translating since April but Cam of course hasn't stopped producing more and more material for my sorry ass to work on! If he's right and gamers are ultra-dedicated and ultra-focused folks who just need to redirect their energy I can't wait the day I consistently do loads and loads of stuff. On a less positive note I've been also neglecting compromises, specially those of social nature (since I try to avoid making commitments of other kinds knowing I probably won't meet them). Next week I promised to myself to go to a "Creative writing" course. I don't expect much apart from spending a lot of money, and I didn't exactly promise, just thought "It would be nice to go". So it's about time I get serious about it and mentally prepare to go.After all, lacking formal schooling, stuff like this IS my formation now. I have to understand it, acknowledge it. If I pretend to be an actor/writer/artist, taking care of my wits and my body is not a hobby or a side activity anymore. It must become a way of life, a part of my everyday existence as a steady job would. Of course there are people out there who are all talk and call themselves "artists" without any accomplishment. For starters: I am not an artist. Yet. I must prove to myself I am not one of those people. I must be living proof that being a performer is a serious business, or everyone, incluiding myself, will believe that artsy streak of mine was nothing than a excuse to avoid real work. Heh, the "inner-game" must be just that, an interior tool. I never liked that expression to be honest. It's like implying you can only have fun while "playing". And personally, I only have fun with games when I stop looking at them as games, that is, when I focus on what I'm doing seriously. Enough rambling! Writing the journal can also be a form of procrastination. See ya! EDIT: MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENTI got rid of Steam using /the tutorial/*https://www.reddit.com/r/StopGaming/comments/2t384s/how_to_get_rid_of_your_steam_account_in_60_mins/ THAT was a milestone. Obviously no one in my circles supports this (my mother would if she knew and knew the implications, but my mother supporting anything was traditionally something to be worried about). You guys are the only ones who are really with me in this. To the rest of the world I'm being unreasonable, a fanatic. I don't want to think too much about it. Why so much defensiveness when empowering should be regarded as a positive thing? But the topic is videogames and everyone loses their mind. I'm just starting to swallow the red pill but I'm certain I'll never be any kind of fanatic. Specially not the one they believe I'm becoming. So much money and time threw to the bin in a click... and a dull, grey future ahead. But I'm curious as well. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow in hope, but just in a mild curiosity. Maybe it's my current dark mood or maybe it's just my temperament, unable to feel hyped like all those motivating posts in personal growth blogs tell you to be. I mean, maybe I express my passion about things in a subtler way than most, or something. Anyway, a success, damn it! Edited July 28, 2016 by Hitaru Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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