Hitaru 1125 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 "Officially" I'm at day 7, even if I haven't played at all since January 21. But the mindset is different, so yeah, day 7.- Day 7:Today I have planned to spend all the day with this developer friend of mine. I've been thinking about it and decided to try go to the bar and order a coffee. If I end relapsing it will be exclusively my fault, and caused by my explosive and self-destructive feelings, but not of the games for being there. I'll give you an example. When my uncle quit smoking there was a wedding the week after. In weddings it's traditional to smoke a cigar. Everyone asked him to make an exception but he rightfully refused. And so everyone else smoked and frowned upon him, and yet he kept his resolve. Would be the proper choice not assist to the dinner when he knew beforehand this would happen? In my case I'm taking a more active role, let's say I'm lighting everyone else's cigars, but I get the same amount of cravings when people talk about games or watch games in the news or in social media. And people talk about games a lot. Helping a dear friend and being productive overpowers everything else. And if I feel like wavering I can always write about it, seek refuge here and detach from that project. I'd take it as a personal defeat though. Even if you (@Marchosias) are (absolutely) right about the whole thing happening too early.And I THANK YOU LOTS for, despite using the same metaphor, being able to argue your position in such a rational way I have not only listened and thought about it, but also acknowledge the truth of it. Unlike others who don't belong to any forum but manage to shitpost (I'm not looking at aaaanyone remotely close to my same DNA sequence...!)- About my education (you can't even begin to imagine how foreign those words sound in my head):I want to be in Theatre School, but being completely honest, what I miss is the experience, not the prospective job opportunities. I want to learn acting and I want to act, but I don't want to be a full-time actor. I knew that before enrolling the first time and my opinion hasn't changed since. So learning a trade would be my best shot right now. It doesn't look fancy in my CV like a degree, yet I can always fill my dramatic vocation with short courses. I don't like things that don't look fancy but... There aren't any other trades that interest me right now, even if there are some at which I could fare better by my natural abilities.How do you feel about nursing?"Absolutely disgusting".No but seriously, I could be a good assistant, nurse or medic, even a surgeon, but I just don't like it. At all. It's not the guts, the gore, the instrumental or even the eerie hospital atmosphere (I love it, I remember how I would sneak in closed floors and dark corridors when I was a kid. Maybe I still do). I don't dislike that world, the same as I don't dislike... agricultural engineering, for instance. But it's not my path. Unless we're talking about helping in conflict zones. Otherwise nah. I want adventure. Maybe I'm young and idiot.penisesWe're so close it sometimes feels awkward. Like a mother and daughter from one of those american or german awful movies of sunday afternoon. Maybe there aren't such movies in your country. If that's the case I'm sincerely glad for you.Now I'm feeling meeting my friend is a terrible idea. I'll talk to him about it, he'll surel proba maybe understand my fear of games is well-founded.hitting the bottomThis would be actually good news; if I could recognize the point where I can't go lower, I could recognize the point where things could go only better. But things could always go worse. Until you set some kind of mental "red line" I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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