LuxoLamp Posted January 7, 2017 Author Posted January 7, 2017 [1]RESPAWN Journal No 9 - 10 Round 3: Day 3Day 15 of No YoutubeDay 1 of No Comics Day 1 of No PornDay 15 of MeditationDay 2 of Gratitude Journal Title: Reinstatement and Comic book Relapse Today was fascinating. I did a little test run before I go back to college tomorrow. I went to a library and studied for two hours. Then, I went to the gym and worked out for an hour. After that, I went back to the library. It was a good test run. I enjoyed being able to switch relatively seamlessly from work to workout to work. I’m traveling tomorrow so I got to have sushi for my last night in NYC. Thanks Best,Luxo Title: Mess up and Flight Yesterday, I went on my computer and stayed up late looking at comics. It was all based around the same issue of fantasy. However, I am developing this habit of honesty, so I was able to resolve the issue quickly. To address both the comic book issue and the phone game issue from a couple of days ago, I downloaded Freedom software and removed video games from my cookies preferences on Facebook. Today, I also started reading the Slight Edge. I’m already on page 173. I think that its information is going to help me as a I continue my gradual improvement with a slight edge. I’m also using Freedom, it blocks wi-fi, every night. Thanks.Best,Luxo Shoutouts:@phpsmith Thanks! I found the cookies section and berid myself of advertisements.@Stevec2283 Thanks for the encouragement!
LuxoLamp Posted January 9, 2017 Author Posted January 9, 2017 RESPAWN Journal No 11 Round 3: Day 4Day 16 of No YoutubeDay 2 of No Comics Day 2 of No PornDay 17 of MeditationDay 3 of Gratitude JournalDay 1 of 100 Pushup Challenge Title: Good Work Day + Scheduling I’ve been reading a Christian ministry book called What on Earth am I Here For. I’m on day 20 and each day, there is a quotation from the bible, and I write out a short journal on the daily topic. I also meditate every day using Headspace. I’ve been doing Headspace for 17 days straight now and thought that it would be nice to give the gift of headspace to the first person who wants a month of Headspace for free. After they’ve completed the first ten days of free Headspace. Headspace has been extremely helpful to me. I also read another chapter of Psychology today. I’m also still reading The Slight Edge. I’m really tired due to jet lag but it’s all good. I also started doing the 100 pushup challenge which was really fun. I also did something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time and practice hip-hop dance. I only practiced for about five minutes, but it’s my penny getting invested rather than wasted on videogames. Gradual improvement leads to great results over time. Best,Luxo Shoutouts:
LuxoLamp Posted January 9, 2017 Author Posted January 9, 2017 RESPAWN Journal No 12 Round 3: Day 4Day 17 of No YoutubeDay 3 of No Comics Day 3 of No PornDay 18 of MeditationDay 4 of Gratitude JournalDay 1 of 100 Pushup Challenge Title: I’m Back and Prevention Today, I returned to school and continued to update my schedule. I felt no urge to do anything bad today, and I felt good eating healthier. I noticed my roommate was watching a YouTube video of a play through of Arkham Knight. That was a habit I had last semester. After about five minutes of him watching that game, I noticed that I kept hearing the same loud bang noise. Also, I realized that my roommate said he was going to bed at 10pm, but it was now 11pm. I was still awake scheduling and reading syllabi, but he was just watching a video. So, I did something I didn’t expect, I called out his name, twice. Then I told him, “Those videos don’t get any better you know.”“Huh?”“Those play though videos”“Oh, I’m just watching this because I played a lot of Batman over break”“Yeah, I’m just saying that those kinds of videos get really repetitive. I’m just speaking from experience that watching that stuff is a bad habit to start.”I expected him to nod, then keep watching. Instead, he put away is phone and went to sleep.Success? I know that maybe my negative behavior wore off on him a little, but I still want to help. Best,Luxo Shoutouts: @Cam Adair I finished the Respawn PDF. Thank you.
LuxoLamp Posted January 11, 2017 Author Posted January 11, 2017 RESPAWN Journal No 13 Round 3: Day 5Round 2: Day 1 of No YouTubeDay 4 of No Comics Day 4 of No PornDay 19 of MeditationDay 5 of Gratitude JournalDay 1 of 100 Pushup Challenge Title: Great Day and Wasteful Night First day of classes today. I woke up on time, did my Rick Warren, Headspace, and journal. I had lunch with a friend. Then, I organized my desk and went to class. My dance class a lot of fun, and I met a lot of new people. I had a good meeting with a teacher too. Lunch was healthy salad with chicken. My girlfriend broke up with me. It was actually a relaxing experience. My Psychology class was interesting and engaging. I sat in the very front of the class and ran into this girl who I had met once before after a dance seminar. We were both very engaged and got to be fun examples for a demonstration involving M&Ms. I called her “Catch” and she called me “Mind Reader”. We arranged to meet later at the library to study. Then, I went to a church group dinner. We saw the Alabama game. I met with the girl and we ended up talking for nearly 7 hours. It completely took me off schedule, and I’m now writing this at 2am rather than my organized time at 10:30. I’m kind of annoyed because of this but also realizing that I need to accept that there will be disruptions. Hopefully, I will be better prepared next time. She was nice, although I think I definitely made it too clear that I liked her. Oh, well. She still likes me, and I’ll see how it progresses. We’ll still be sitting next to each other every single class. Best,Luxo Shoutouts: @
LuxoLamp Posted January 11, 2017 Author Posted January 11, 2017 RESPAWN Journal No 14 Round 3: Day 6Round 2: Day 2 of No YouTubeDay 5 of No Comics Day 5 of No PornDay 20 of MeditationDay 6 of Gratitude JournalDay 1 of 100 Pushup Challenge Title: Temptation vs. Community I was fortunate enough to have another great day despite my lack of sleep yesterday. I am taking a class in VR which is very cool. Also, had lunch with another cool girl. I ran into the same girl from yesterday by accident. It turns out we are taking two of the same classes. I walked with her and she seemed totally fine. I haven’t really been tempted yet technology wise by anything in particular. I wanted to hookup with a girl today who I knew would be bad news, so, I decided to call a help line. It was really helpful, instead, I ended up going to a nice church group meeting. I’m happy. Best,Luxo Shoutouts:
Cam Adair Posted January 12, 2017 Posted January 12, 2017 I wanted to hookup with a girl today who I knew would be bad news, so, I decided to call a help line. It was really helpful, instead, I ended up going to a nice church group meeting.Good job making an empowering decision!
LuxoLamp Posted January 13, 2017 Author Posted January 13, 2017 RESPAWN Journal No 15 Round 3: Day 8Round 3: Day 1 of No YouTubeRound 2: Day 1 of No Comics Day 7 of No PornDay 22 of MeditationDay 9 of Gratitude JournalDay 1 of 100 Pushup Challenge Title: Day of despairYesterday, I turned off the safeties on my computer and I went onto YouTube and read comics until around 3:45pm in the morning. I felt horrible. The previous day, I felt ignored by several girls who I thought I was bonding with. I’ve been eating healthier too on the other side. However, I spoke with a girl friend of mine yesterday about her verbally abusive boyfriend who she is tolerating in the hope of deeper relationship. I felt powerless to help her. I recommended some phone lines to call then I backed out. I felt frustrated and annoyed and reminded of how I was alone romantically. That’s why I went to YouTube.Today, I looked in the mirror and saw that my face was puffy and that I had overslept, my normal time. I didn’t do my nightly respawn and I also didn’t do my planner. I’m still improving and I managed to stay away from video games. Help. Help. I’m realizing what’s wrong and I’m changing. Best,Luxo Shoutouts:@Cam Adair
Cam Adair Posted January 14, 2017 Posted January 14, 2017 So next time you're feeling stressed or lonely, what can you do instead of YouTube?
WorkInProgress Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Hey hope you feel better soon. These struggles appear sometimes. You'll feel better again. Continue this way and you won't be alone for too long.
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