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NEW VIDEO: 8 Ways to Deal With Stress Without Gaming

In search of bravery


Zala
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Many of us are just used to instant gratification. Games provide this to us, in an easily accesible way so we don't have to work for feeling motivation. In real life motivation comes from working on something for some time, discovering possibilies in it and working more on it to reach them. At work we have to create our own goals and gratifications. be it saying to your self:" YOu did it ! Your awesome!" or just buying that icecream we always evade because of our figure. Basically my advice would be. Try harder at productive things and make a game out of it.

Here some videos from cam which might help:

about pokemon go

motivation

fun vs happiness

instant gratification

On a more personal note: I think if you let a game plan out your days instead of planning when to game, you should stop playing it. Something influencing your live in a negative way isn't worth it. You can always go out for a walk without a game telling you too. Maybe you could start with looking other people in the eyes and smiling at them. At first this feels akward but over time with some practice you realize, that most people actually like it if random people smile at them or even greet them.

Or if you feel crazy you could do smth like this.

I hope I could help you abit.

Edited by WorkInProgress
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I watch Cam's videos on regular basis. I guess having the right information doesn't help all the time.

It's not like I don't go to work to play. It's not like I'm not able to grab a cup of coffee with a friend. And I don't check my phone during that time. But if we went for a walk, I would probably turn the app on. Put the phone in my pocket, turn the sound off and that's it. I imagine I would forget about it and in the evening I would happily see the egg breaking.

I might sound naive, but I keep wondering, what's the big deal? I decided to change my phone's battery. It was slowly going downhill, if I made one call, I was worried if it will last till the end of the day. That was before pokemon thing. I can't afford that abroad. I will probably depend on navigation for some time and I need a reliable battery. I could afford a new phone, but I decided against it. Anyway I am living without my phone for 4 days now. And not much has changed. Of course I can go for a walk without a phone. You could also say that I could go for a run without my polar device. But I simply don't. It's like saying you could survive just by eating potatoes. You could. But most of us don't even try to do it. I enjoy going for a walk/run and knowing that there is some sort of memory/data that keeps that information. It makes me feel better, it sometimes makes me feel like I have achieved something. What is so wrong with that? If the alternative is that I stay at home, or bully myself to go for a walk because "it's healthy" and then I don't really enjoy it as much ... Once again what's the big deal?

I work with people and no worries I am polite, engaging human being. I always get "you are so friendly/polite/kind" comments from our customers. But I don't think everyone has to be an incredibly social/chatty person. I think it's perfectly fine if you don't engage every human being that you meet on your way to work for example.

Darn. I guess I do sound a bit ... in denial. I don't know. If an alcoholic told me that drinking makes him happy and what's the big deal ... I know. I guess I have a perfect chance to delete the game when I get my phone back. But on the other hand, I haven't gone for a walk since I left my phone at the store. So that's on the downside. Been watching more of random videos instead, I'm afraid.

dailyjournalforworldpeace is great! I love his approach, thank you so much for pointing it out, will read it thoroughly.

 

Edited by Zala
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Nothing special. Every time I read other journals on GQ it kind of makes me feel bad. I'm glad for all the success, revelations etc. don't get me wrong. It's just that I seem to lack some sort of optimism. I feel confused on my good days. On bad days I just get annoyed by every little thing. It might be because most of the people are younger than me and realistically speaking have more time to get their shit together and enjoy normal life.

You see even this line of thought doesn't sound too optimistic. Still no phone. So no games, no apps. Have a good one!

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Comparison leaves to suffering for sure. You're not in a race with anybody else. Everyone has their own path! 

Optimism is a muscle that can be trained. A gratitude journal is one way to do that. Keep going Zala! You're harder on yourself than you need to be.

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I am sure I can name at least a few things every week. It might be a bit boring. I apologize for that.

1. I'm thankful for my hard-working, reliable bf.

2. I'm thankful for my ankle doing better. Went for a run after two weeks and it carried me all the way, was not even complaining :).

3. I'm thankful for warm, sunny days that help me go outside.

4. I'm thankful for my family. They are working very hard on accepting that I'm leaving.

5. I'm thankful for my baby brother and the fact that he peeks out of his shell a bit when we are alone.

I'm leaving Slovenija in 6 days. I hope I won't break down as I did when I got my puppy.

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I am sure I can name at least a few things every week. It might be a bit boring. I apologize for that.

1. I'm thankful for my hard-working, reliable bf.

2. I'm thankful for my ankle doing better. Went for a run after two weeks and it carried me all the way, was not even complaining :).

3. I'm thankful for warm, sunny days that help me go outside.

4. I'm thankful for my family. They are working very hard on accepting that I'm leaving.

5. I'm thankful for my baby brother and the fact that he peeks out of his shell a bit when we are alone.

love this!

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My second day in a new home.

1. I'm thankful for my bf. He was waiting for me at the train station and even brought me a gift. It was so great too see him after two weeks.

2. I'm thankful for a beautiful little lake near our place. It will probably be my go-to destination for daily walks, runs.

3. I'm thankful for a dishwasher. A nifty appliance that I never had before.

4. I'm thankful for a pleasant 12 hour train ride. Didn't get much sleep but it was surprisingly comfy.

5. I'm thankful for my hamster's memory. :) It seems like she didn't completely forget who I am.

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Hello. It's Switzerland, I don't think I wrote that before.

Today I went to the center of our small city. I went to the bank, money change. Got away with a couple of English words. Nothing too stressful. I even found a local library. I was trying to find the courage to just walk in and ask what kind of documents do I need to become a member. Went to the clothes shop nearby. Browsed a bit and kept saying to myself, just go in! You can do it! Just do it! You know the drill. I finally got this burst of bravery, went to the automatic door aaaand nothing happened. The library is closed on Mondays lol. I think it is a good start anyway. It is kind of strange. I think my heartbeat was up the whole time I was outside. It's not like I'm in some kind of danger. People here are incredibly polite. It's just that feeling that I'm not in Kansas anymore.

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I'm still into planning stuff and not doing much about my life. My friend told me that it is easy to figure out what you want to do in/with your life when you are 30. And that it is a mistake to make people decide about certain aspects of their life when they are only 15. I don't feel the same way. I feel cut from my family, friends, enemies, idols and history. Where other people would see great freedom and opportunity to start their life from the beginning, I see ... What? Not a dark hole. But definitely a thick fog. I know I should probably just start living and not worry too much about where the decisions take me. But on the other hand I know you should have goals, even written well defined, planed goals to succeed. To move in a certain direction, you should probably know where you want to go. I lack the ambition. But mostly I just have no idea where to start.

 

1. After listening to a quarreling neighbors: thankful for our peaceful relationship.

2. I'm thankful for being healthy and for my family's health.

3. I'm thankful for having an opportunity to experience another beautiful country.

4. I'm thankful for having the courage to seize the aforementioned opportunity. :)

5. I'm thankful for reasonable prices of Nutella.

 

 

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I have a pokestop near my new home. I have access to items from my apartment. I don't have a Swiss cell-phone plan, so I can't play outside. And of course the worst thing has happened. Since we got wifi connection last week I've been spending more and more time inside. Just collecting balls, random items and catching pokemon. I have no idea what I did today. Some minor housework, eating, cooking but mostly pokemon go while watching True Blood. I feel disgusted with myself once again.

I know this is not the place to talk about it, but I realized that the game is starting to get really unfair. More and more pokemon are running away and the points you need to lvl up are getting absurdly high. Of course there is some logic behind it. And of course I'm already hooked so I'm thinking of doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Luckily I don't have any money to spend. I've already put 100eu into this game in Slovenia. Which I admitted to my bf. Awful moment.

I think it's time to cut my losses. Including 100 I put in this game. It's the first time after 15 years that I've spent money on virtual game. So it's kind of a big deal for me.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Went full circle. Back to the awful place. How many circles can you make, before you are finally just slurped into the black hole of meaninglessness. I'm embarrassed to even be thinking about another 90 day abstinence. Even more writing about it. I'm sure it's some kind of record :(. Are there any medals for 30+ people that keep falling for the same stupid shit. I just watched this video of a guy who got totally excited about having pikachu on his shoulder after walking 10k. I still can't believe I'm one of those people.

 

Except I'm not, because I don't get as excited about it. And I also don't make videos that have 2mil views.

Edited by Zala
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Embaressment and shame are the enemy of progress. noone is judging you here and you shouldn't judge yourself so harshly either. Instead think about that: What have you learned out of this experience? What can I do know?

Welcome back btw. I am always glad if someones comming back after he/she fell from the wagon for some time.

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  • 1 month later...

I'm still here. Kind of. No progress. Your new video Cam brought me back again. I was saying to myself the whole time Exactly!

I have wonderful structure for gaming. I make time. I do graphs, I compare data, I educate myself by watching others and reading about it. And I stay motivated, because as soon as I don't have the best tactic, it shows and there are no real consequences. No real negative consequences.

Life is different. Still fighting.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks Cam. I appreciate it. For now my goal is not to annoy anyone. But luckily you can always stop reading, the positive site of any forum. I remember one of your videos Cam, where you told us, that you read every post on this forum. (I'm not sure if you still have enough time&energy to do that.) And I remember thinking 'Oh god ... poor guy ... a bunch of people complaining and getting frustrated with themselves and the world. Day after day after day.' Haha. I know all entries are not like that, but I think if you are not a bit frustrated, scared or angry, you don't even begin the search for help.

I'm not sure I could handle that. Actually I'm pretty sure I couldn't. If I ever get out of this buzzed world, I imagine I wouldn't even want to talk about gaming and gaming related problems. And I'm very grateful that this is a part of your life-goals Cam!

Anyway. My friends list is getting shorter and shorter. I kind of knew this would happen when decided to move so far away. I don't blame anybody. It's not easy and email/voice based relationships certainly lack that certain "something". I think I might have lost another friend just this weekend. We might be visiting our families on Christmas and I'm not sure what to do. Should I try to meet with people who are not writing back to me or talking to me on a regular basis? Or should I just let them go, since our relationship obviously won't last?

As far as gaming is concerned. My friend told me something the other day that I just can't get out of my head. He told me that what you do, defines you. But if you don't do things (that you know you should do, if you don't follow some sort of plan or ambition for yourself), but instead you keep putting things off, then you eventually simply become a person that delays/puts things off/procrastinator. However you want to call it. I was thinking. What am I doing most of the day? I'm playing games. Mobile, computer, it depends. Yet I have never defined myself as a gamer. Most of the people I know, don't even know I do this. Not even as a hobby. I still wouldn't call myself an addict. So when people are talking about how they travel, run, bike, explore, work, read, play music, draw, create ... I have nothing to say. Of course I won't be telling people that I spent 3/4 of an hour today to turn this gym, shivering with cold, with pain in my back from forced position, changing one pixel into another. Definitely not. I will be saying that I took a walk. I will also be saying that I like reading, even if I do it for like 15 minutes before I go to bed. Which is quite absurd, because I need two weeks to finish a book, so it's not really a hobby.

What my friend said, made perfect sense. The best summary of my life for the last couple of years. I've been putting things off. Gaming, watching series, movies, browsing through all the dark and pink sides of the internet. I am in a complete denial if I can't even admit that to myself. I didn't do anything else consistently or long enough to produce any sort of result. I'm not sure, why this is such a painful discovery. Hope it makes sense ...

Edited by Zala
poor language skills :)
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  • 4 months later...

Hello all. And Cam especially :) . I'm back on the wrong track. I'm trying for a week now to start another 90 days or at least 60 days of detox. It just seems much harder to quit this time around. At least compared to the first time I did it. Maybe because I can't really trust myself to do it properly. I have simply disappointed myself so many many times. And since I did it once, I know it will get even harder after the first day. I was thinking of starting a new entry, a new diary, but it doesn't make sense. It's my past and I have to deal with it, can't just delete it and forget about it.

Nothing has really changed in my life. I got hooked on pokemon go. Managing my time and making it just a hobby didn't work. Surprise surprise. Watching random videos is also a problem.

I think I have to admit that I have invested some money into the game, even bought pokemon go+. And now I feel some sort of a duty, obligation to make sense of this expense. I don't know. Does that make sense? I know you are not supposed to stay with your investments if they are bad, even if you have put a lot of time and money into them. But it just feels so hard to let go.

Thank you for reading. I'm grateful for this forum and all the help I got. I had to return because there is simply no better place for me to start again.

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Awareness is the first element of change. Don't fret because you failed once, you got back up and on your feet and are willing to fight again for becoming a better version of yourself.

Fall seven times, get up eight (Japanese proverb)

I was playing Ingress (Niantic, "ancestor" of Pokemon Go) religiously at one point in my life as I thought it is a form of social gaming and better as it is active. Then I realized that the community was toxic and I basically drove around like an idiot, wasting time, money and fuel only to capture some elusive portal in the middle of nowhere. Don't see the game as investment if it holds you back. Then it is a shackle rather than an investment. Invest in yourself, and the future self you cultivate will be your return on investment ~ life pays better dividends, gaming didn't do anything for me ;)


Maybe lifting and meditation helps?

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